Other The Kim of Sauce

Discussion in 'Fan Works' started by Satashi26, Apr 10, 2016.

  1. Satashi26

    Satashi26 Phantasmal Quasar

    Just because

    The Queen of Sauce is recorded in front of a live forum audience. Viewer discretion is advised.

    As the theme music plays, a very pretty woman walks across the cooking set, waving at the people in the stands. "Good morning everyone! The Queen of Sauce here, bringing you another delicious meal to grace your tables tonight! Today we have a very special guest with us, the star of her own fanfic: Farmer Kim!"

    A secondary musical score comes on as a shy brown haired girl walks onto the set. Her name was shouted from the stands by a very energetic Abigail, making her turn beet red and scurry the rest of the way behind the counter. "H-hi! Hello."

    "H-hi and hello to you too, Kim!" The audience laughed at the poor girl, whose hair was almost frizzing out from her ponytail in embarrassment. "We've been told you make some of the best spaghetti in Stardew Valley. It has been recommended for weeks now, what do you say to that?"

    "I- I think quality fresh ingredients and love are key to making anything."

    "Well said!" The Queen waved her hand out over the counter where everything they needed were laid out. "And here we have it! Everything is fresh from Pelican Town where our guest lives! So, Miss Kim, where should we start?"

    Kim nodded to herself and tried her best. "Right! So first we need to fry up some bacon. We need the fat to sauté the upcoming vegetables."

    Leah looked positively freaked out. Leaning over to Abigail she whispered frantically to her. "You don't think that's real bacon do you?"

    Abigail rolled her eyes. "Of course it's real bacon. Probably from Marnie's farm."

    The braided girl's eyes went wide. "B-but what if it was a pig I knew? What if it was Hampton!?" A staff member motioned to them and then put a finger to his lips, making both girls go quiet. "If it's Snuffles I'm going to cry…" Leah whispered softly.

    Back on stage, Kim was stirring the bacon around in a large skillet. "And then we toss in our freshly diced veggies!" A loud sizzling was heard as she did so. "And cook them till they're tender."

    "About two to three minutes!" The Queen chirped in while looking at the cameras. "Remember if you see browning then you're cooking, not sautéing, so back off that heat!"

    Kim set the skillet aside and got another pan, dumping hamburger into it. "Now we cook up a pound of hamburger and half pound of pork sausage."

    "Hamburger!?" Leah's voice squeaked out. "What if that was Mr.Moos that Marnie took out a few days ago!? I knew that cow since he was born!"

    "Shh!" Penny shushed her. "Leah, be quiet, they're glaring at you."

    The Queen was nodding at Kim's choice of herbs and spices. "Very good mix, you know your way around the kitchen."

    "I'm a huge fan after all!" Kim replied in kind, getting an applause from the audience. "Now we add some tomato products-"

    "Which you can get from Pelican town or straight from Kim's farm!" The Queen added in quickly.

    "And boil out some red wine!" Kim picked back up as if nothing had interrupted her.

    The Queen was nodding in approval. "Yes, yes! This is coming along nicely! Now while this boils and simmers down, let's go to a commercial!"

    The crowd focused on the center screen hanging above the set, where Haley appeared holding a green tinted bottle. "Parched after a hard day in the mine? Dying of thirst in the heat of summer while working on that tan? Then try Sandy's new Cactus juice! It'll quench ya! Nothing quenches quite like it, it's the quenchiest!" She took a long drink of it and wiped her mouth with a refreshing "Ahhhh!" Just before the camera cut off, her eyes dilated widely and a very happy expression came over her face.

    "And welcome back!" The Queen greeted the cameras again. "While you were gone, we magically sped up the process thanks to the wonders of T.V. Time and now have a Bolognese sauce ready for noodles! But what kind you ask? Kim!"

    The farmer held out two bowls of uncooked pasta. "Despite being known as spaghetti here, spaghetti noodles are one of the worst things you can use for a Bolognese sauce. The noodles are too thin and long to properly hold any of the sauce. I recommend Rotini, as the spiral shape allows it to grab a hold of the sauce and keep it on the noodles while you bring it from plate to mouth."

    "That's right! No more left over sauce in the bottom of your bowls here folks! Just listen to these consumer reviews!"

    "It's yummy!" Ghostly Fox said, holding up a fork.

    "It puts the pop in my tart!" EvilPoptart confirmed with a smile.

    "I eat it while watching Arrow!" Sandriel exclaimed while putting a huge bite into her mouth.

    "Perfect after a day at the beach looking at girls in bikinis!" Tammarine confirmed

    The Queen came back, magically floating next to Kim. "And here we have it folks! The finished dish!" The pair presented the bowls of pasta for the cameras and the audience to see. "We drew names for a lucky few people to come on set and try it!"

    Leah's eyes widened. "Please don't pick me, please don't pick me, please don't pick me."

    "First up we have Niorichi! Come on down!" The Queen called out. "Also we haaaave-"

    "Lanx!" Kim called out.

    "Tokiri!"

    "Firepaw Da cat!" Kim looked at the audience and watched as a cat with a scarf came down the aisle and hopped up onto one of the chairs. "Is it safe to feed a cat Spaghetti?"

    "I'm not sure…" The Queen responded, giving the animal a puzzled look.

    "Meow," said the cat.

    Kim nodded. "Well, if they say so. NEXT! Pencilstab and Crossfang, come on and get your food!"

    As the group finally made it all the way to the stage, the pair made plates for them all. "Thank you all for tuning in, and we'll see you next Wednesday!"


    [​IMG]
     
    • Firepaw Da Cat

      Firepaw Da Cat Tiy's Beard

      "Is it safe to feed a cat Spaghetti?"
      Meow [​IMG]


      But really, that part made me laugh so much [​IMG]
      I would love to see more of this[​IMG]
       
        Last edited: Apr 10, 2016
        Satashi26 likes this.
      • EvilPoptart81

        EvilPoptart81 Cosmic Narwhal

        There's a lot of things that put the pop in my tart, and this is one of them. Your writing never ceases to make me smile! :kawaii:
         
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        • tokiri

          tokiri Big Damn Hero

          Awh oh my gosh! That was such a cute read satashi, hahaha! :rofl:

          LOL, Poor Leah. :'( All her furry four legged friends. Not Mr. Moo!!!! ;0;
           
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          • Sandriel

            Sandriel Void-Bound Voyager

            *eats spaghetti* great work, thats a cool idea. And you write your fans into it :3 thanks for that. Made my day as always
             
              Satashi26 likes this.
            • FranklinZ

              FranklinZ Astral Cartographer

              so that's what the animal names are for:DD
               
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              • Firepaw Da Cat

                Firepaw Da Cat Tiy's Beard

                Will this be continued? [​IMG]
                 
                • Satashi26

                  Satashi26 Phantasmal Quasar

                  Actually you know what? I could continue it with something else if you want :) I was gonna make fish tacos soon!
                   
                  • MagicallyClueless

                    MagicallyClueless Master Astronaut

                    this was exceedingly adorable and a perfect read as i wait for my next class to start, ahaha! bringing in other forum members was really cute and touching, too.

                    rip in peace mr. moos never forget ;-; OH and i saw that avatar: the last airbender reference. so good.

                    the robin screencap at the end just brings it all together
                     

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