The Backwater Art Clan

Yesterday I was gone for thirty minutes and I got 8 alerts...

 

"So basically we start out as homeless douche bags that begin granting wishes before becoming a hero in the eye of the people. Afterwords we begin thrill seeking in the form of surfing on black holes. In the end we reserve ourselves to a life of lonely hermitage in the outer reaches of space." -Taken from The Life of a Starbounder, by Capn' Kane.

 

Cabbage Co. would like to buy the rights to your book.

 

The Ultimate Quote. Alpha and Omega, Beginning and End of Lyfe.

 

BOW DOWN TO YOUR NEW CABBAGE KING

 

*bows down*

 

(User jumps out of his bed while being sick, runs to your house and bows down to his almighty Cabbage King)

 

Denied.

 

KILL THIS MAN, MY CHILDREN!

 

*burns cabbage*

 

why would you do such a thing ;~;

 

REBELS! WE MUST UNITE AGAINST THIS CABBAGE KING UPSTART! CAPITALISM WILL REIGN AGAIN!!!

 

(User raises his head and jumps on his Cabbage Board and flys to Kane's house, grabs a cabbage from his board and suffocates Kane by shoving it in his mouth.) "Mission Complete!" Dark Smile emerges from User's face.

 

I'M THE ONLY LOYAL ONE LEFT
*hops in getaway boat*

 

*the cabbage metamorphisizes into a giant heretic destroying beast*

 

*creepy ass cabbage motherfucker is shot down by laser turrets before even making it close to Kane's bunker*

 

my empire

it's...ruined ;~:

*sits on the ground and starts eating cbg s00p while all hell breaks loose*

 

(User comes back from the dead as a cabbage zombie and resurrects an army of cabbages to open the bunker door)

 

*getaway boat turns into supe ultra robot of war and marches towards Kane's bunker*