The Avali Nexus

Discussion in 'Hangout Threads' started by RyuujinZERO, Apr 16, 2014.

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  1. Battle Bee

    Battle Bee Heliosphere

    Not really...
     
  2. MrMadmanx2

    MrMadmanx2 Cosmic Narwhal

    well, I have done a very interesting set of Plot twists. and Reks very much enjoyed it
     
  3. Sparrows

    Sparrows Pangalactic Porcupine

    Alrighty then, since part two of my story didn't seem to be noticed, I think I might hold off on part three until there are more people in the thread ;)
     
  4. Myifee

    Myifee Giant Laser Beams

    I did, actually. He surprised me with quite a few.

    I even have one of my own, but most people wouldn't guess it.
     
  5. Battle Bee

    Battle Bee Heliosphere

    It did get noticed. It's just that not a lot are talking about it.
     
  6. Sparrows

    Sparrows Pangalactic Porcupine

    True. Still, two chapters in one day might be a bit overkill anyway :V
     
  7. MrMadmanx2

    MrMadmanx2 Cosmic Narwhal

    did you see mine?
     
  8. Marxon

    Marxon Supernova

    [​IMG]
    Plumage malfunction, never knew there was such a thing.
     
  9. Battle Bee

    Battle Bee Heliosphere

    Those stims seem to have fixed you up!
    ...Except your plumage.
     
  10. SCN-3_<NULL>

    SCN-3_<NULL> Pangalactic Porcupine

    *quickly craws out of bottomless pit, pop back in image sensor optics*
    what just happened? how did you? blue stim pigment?
     
  11. RyuujinZERO

    RyuujinZERO Supernova

    You could just use dyes... like, you know... a LOT of avali do :p - especially females.
     
  12. MrMadmanx2

    MrMadmanx2 Cosmic Narwhal

    well, you look better
     
  13. Marxon

    Marxon Supernova

    [​IMG]
    temporary side effects...
    Tail on the other hand... still quite sore from that darn door. It doesn't look too crooked does it?
     
  14. MrMadmanx2

    MrMadmanx2 Cosmic Narwhal

    looks a little bent to me
     
  15. Battle Bee

    Battle Bee Heliosphere

    Looks a little... too thin.
     
  16. MrMadmanx2

    MrMadmanx2 Cosmic Narwhal

    not really
     
  17. SCN-3_<NULL>

    SCN-3_<NULL> Pangalactic Porcupine

    a bit crioked, it'll heal up I hope....
    you should recalibrate the doors for a longer delay
     
  18. Ehksidian

    Ehksidian Spaceman Spiff

    It does. You should try going through the door the other way to fix it.
    That might help.
     
  19. J_Mourne

    J_Mourne Pangalactic Porcupine

    Pretty good, though I'd recommend sticking to a single verb tense throughout. I personally prefer past tense, but I've seen some people pull of present tense admirably. Personal taste as to which you use.

    ...and why is the spear named the same as me, that's just weird. It should be named after Icebelly. We can't complicate the Reks-Icebelly-Shadowhunter shipping triangle further with name assignments like that!
     
  20. RyuujinZERO

    RyuujinZERO Supernova

    Past tense giving the impression of a narrator recounting events that have transpired, and present makes you a witness to events as they transpire.... do you suppose it'd be possible to write a story in the future tense, like a prophet or fortune teller, saying what is *going* to happen? ;)

    Twist ending - the epilogue is in past tense, it didn't happen that way at all :p
     
    Corraidhín likes this.
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