Insuristar Insurance Company The strongest and largest insurer of, well, pretty much anything. From Space Vessels to your small business, and a multitude of financial services besides, Insuristar is still the most trusted insurance company in the universe. We work to provide security and peace of mind for our customers, helping them achieve their dreams and protect their interests. Unlike so much of the competition, we price our premiums to pay for claims, not to make frivolous commercial campaigns. Although I just want to point out, the commercials we do make are hilarious. That one with the people who destroy their vehicles accidentally in increasingly creative ways. Cracks me up all the time. I love the one where they park their vessel on one side of a star and go explore the planet below without realizing they are in a dual star system and the ship sinks into the sun, leaving them marooned. Not that that happening to a real group of people would be funny. Unless they were from our direct competition. What was I- oh right! Anyways, whether you are looking to insure your land speeder, work and home starship, or mining and transport super-rig, Insuristar is here for you. Trust Insuristar. Your life is in our hands. Our gauntleted, totally not armed hands. -President Glee L. Reaper ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Insuristar Insurance Company is (probably) the largest interstellar insurance company, insuring over 42 billion starships across ten thousand systems. Born from the uniquely human concept of paying a little money each cycle in an ongoing bet that you won't manage to destroy your property (or that, like an accident or act of violence will do it for you), Insuristar employs millions of agents across the universe. And they are all in direct competition with every other insurance company and each other for your business. But hey, competition is good. If you want to join in the attractive business of betting humans and aliens alike that their stuff won't get destroyed, feel free to apply to be an Insuristar Agent and join the ranks of the most dangerous deadly destructive competitive workforce in the universe. As a show of good faith in your ability to brutally destroy crush the competition, Insuristar guarantees that you will be provided with an affordable suite of high end weaponry competitive edges to help you even the playing field. Insuristar Property and Casualty Company, Insuristar Health, Insuristar Life Company, Insuristar Bank, and Insuristar Mutual Company hereby declare that do not own a massive mercenary army and most assuredly do not participate in heated back alley warfare with other insurance companies as a tactic to remove competition. We buy our competition through umbrella corporations, or agree to not change our prices, same as everyone else. If we did have an army of trained and loyal soldiers, then those jerk faces over at Sly Co. Insurance (the name Sly Co. Insurance is in no way owned by Insuristar or any of Insuristar's affiliates; trust us we've tried) wouldn't be so much of a damned nuisance now would they? Unless of course they also had a huge well trained and loyal force of annoyingly well-armed schmedricks. They probably do, but we aren't accusing anyone of anything here. We're just saying. They are ass-holes and such behavior would not be below them. It's totally below us though. Just like lying and slander.
We, the representives of Meerkat Studios, hereby submit the proper paper work filled out with all legal formalities that are recognized in your observible universe to insure all of of our public and free access Battle Arenas with your base level insurance, to cover damages that may happen over standard use of said battle arenas. Furthermore we submit all the proper paper work filled out with all legal formalities and additionally attached requirements (that are not mentioned in any of the legal formalities) for your above top level insurance to for all of our public and free access Theaters, to cover any and all damages that may happen under any circumstance including but not limited to standard use, unstandard use, natural disaster, sabatage, war, planetary distruction, and hobos.
