Corrupt a wish V.2

You get some food. It is delicious. It is poisoned and you die the next day.

I wish to have dark green blood.

 

It's dark green because it's made of ACID!

I wish for mechanical prowess.

 

Granted. All your inventions turn on you.

I wish to have supreme, candy-corn-coated Trolling Prowess!
Like, thi& kind of trolling prowe&&.

 

"I understood that reference."

Granted, however SBURB is initialised and you are not a player. Good luck surviving the Reckoning.

I wish for a box.

 

Granted. Box full of dynamite! Boom!

I wish to die!

 

Granted. You will die. However, you will be the last person to ever die, forced to live until the end of time itself, watching everyone you ever have loved or will love die before you as you descend into the madness of the inevitable cycle of meaningless personal relationships and nigh infinite boredom.

I wish for a nice, new frisbee.

 

Granted, it is ungrabbable due to it being covered in spikes.

I wish to be good at pixel spriting.

 

Granted, but you can only use MS Paint.

I wish for timey-wimey powers.

 

I wish for infinite V-Bucks.

Granted, you cause a time paradox.
See what I did there?

 

Granted, however Fortnite loses all sense of progression.

I wish for VVVVVV-style gravity reversal powers.

 

Granted, You accidentally activate them outside.

I wish for a laptop with a newer than Intel i3 processor.

 

Granted, all other parts are at least 10 years old.

I wish for a keyblade.

 

Granted, it's tiny.

I wish to stop being addicted to this thread

 

Granted. You get addicted to hardcore illegal substances instead.

I wish my whole body was engulfed in flames.

 

Granted, it starts to rain.

I wish to be popular.

 

Granted, however you will never be able to get any privacy due to the mob that's always following you.

Surprise me.
(Never say that to a genie.)

 

Your head suddenly falls off.

I wish I could kill people without consequences without other people knowing.

 

granted. you have to live with the constant guilt of having murdered countless innocent people

I wish I had a cool chair

 

Granted, you become one.

I wish that I had creative powers.

 

Granted, you're so creative that every second of every day is spent creating art, to the point that you eventually pass out and die from sheer exhaustion.

I wish I was a cooler chair