Story Christmas Dawn (Choose Your Own Adventure)

Discussion in 'Winter Holiday Contest' started by Deotay, Dec 30, 2012.

  1. Deotay

    Deotay Cosmic Narwhal

    The snow bears down on you relentlessly. You can feel your limbs slowly growing numb as despair settles in the darkest corners of your mind. It's Christmas Eve, why did this happen to you? Why aren't you at home with your family, near that warm fire and around the dinner table? No, instead you're here, lost on this planet of eternal snow and ice. Your adventurous instincts just had to kick in and drag you to an uncharted and unexplored planet. But what's that? There's a stray path of foot prints in the snow and in the other direction you can see a cave nearby.

    Follow the foot prints or seek refuge in the cave?

    You decide to follow the foot prints. Who knows, there could even be others on this planet that are lost like you. Maybe even an encampment that can get you back on your feet. These hopes bring what little strength you have back into your legs. Minutes fade behind you and hours seem to pass by. Your suit is engineered to handle the cold but not something this intense. You constantly have to keep brushing away the snow to retain your vision. Not that it helps too much anyways, little can be seen in a blizzard like this. Wait, isn't that rock a little familiar? Haven't you seen that already? A dark realization comes over you. You've been following your own foot prints, walking in a giant circle. Tears would have soon welled up in your eyes if not for an ear-splitting roar. A Yeti like creature claws your side. You're bleeding out, badly.

    Fight the creature or run?

    You have to get rid of this threat. He would probably chase you down if you ran anyways. You've taken on hundreds of things like him, he'd be easy. The creature swung at your chest but you reflexively duck downwards and evade the blow. The creature was slow. Perfect. You quickly draw your combat knife and stab the beast's leg. Your knife had been upgraded to vibrate like a chainsaw and glowed with electric energy. There's no way this thing could fight well after a wound from a blade like that. Surprisingly the creature had enough in him to swing downwards at you with both arms. With great effort you gather the last of your strength and roll to the side, drawing your gun. You finish off the creature with a quick shot to the head. You won. You try to stand but for some reason you couldn't. Your legs refuse to obey. A quick glance downwards reveals a large patch of red snow beneath you. It appears you've lost too much blood. A few moments later your suit starts to glow and vibrate. "Merry Christmas" it declared brightly with a vibrant message on your head display. You couldn't help but smile. Your blood slowly drains out of you, taking your remaining strength with it. You notice the sun slowly rising on the horizon. Light slowly crept towards you almost as if it was trying its hardest to get to you. Trying to comfort you in your last moments like an old friend. It is a Christmas Dawn. The last one you'll witness. You can't feel the warmth of the light but you know it's there, doing its best to caress you as you depart. The last thing you see is the horizon with an ever loving sun and pure white snow. You watch the scene silently and slowly your eyes begin to close. And then, there was nothing.

    The End

    You start to run for your life, clutching your wound to hold in as much blood as you could. The beast gave chase for a mere few minutes before stopping. Perhaps it was just protecting its territory? Either way, you're glad it stopped chasing you. The sense of relief only lasted for the moment. It was instead replaced with a sense of curiosity. The blizzard seemed to have cleared while you were running and in the distance you could see a figure sitting atop a hill. You make your way towards it with the small amount of energy you have left and soon come upon the figure. It was a cold corpse sitting on a log. The corpse was looking at the horizon with a solemn and noble face. How could this figure still be sitting upright? Was it frozen in place? It didn't really matter. You see the frozen man is clutching a box. It takes a little bit of effort but you pry it away from him and peer in. It was a medical kit. Finally some luck! You bandage your wounds and take out the energy packs. These would make sure your suit would run for a long time. Further in the box was a little note, "May it bring strength to you." On the back was a picture of the man and has family decorating a Christmas Tree. Suddenly you feel warmth on your face. You can see the first traces of daylight in the horizon. Tomorrow was uncertain but today you were alive. Today two figures sat atop the hill looking at the Christmas Dawn.

    The End

    You make your way towards the cave. It's probably for the better, this is guaranteed shelter from the relentless snow. Perhaps you could even get a fire started and recover your energy. Your suit is built to resist the cold but even that can't protect you from a blizzard like this. When you finally enter the cave you adjust the settings of your suit to reserve power for when you need it again. You take this moment of peace to think about your family once again. Are they well? Did they miss you? You wonder what you would have gotten for Christmas. Granny always did knit you a sweater and your brother was always thoughtful. Last year he gave you an electric chainsaw knife. That knife has already saved you many times on your journeys. Suddenly you take notice of the wind. It echos deeply. It appears the cave goes on for quite a distance.

    Explore the Cave or stay at the entrance?

    Well, you came here for adventure didn't you? With this reasoning you resolve to explore the cave in hopes you'll find something interesting or even helpful. You quickly find the remnants of a fire. People have been here before. There was a rusty pot over the little bit of burnt wood still there. Unfortunately there was no food left in it. As you continue you come across a large patch of clothes, arranged almost like a bed. Among the pile you notice a little teddy bear. You hadn't seen a real teddy bear before, kids today were interested in more technologically advanced things than stuffed animals. The bear seems to have an almost innocent look about it. You then see something glisten in the corner of your eye. Near the opposite wall is a thin pillar of sticks with little branching out appendages. Small random items are strewn all over it like socks, flowers, plastic or anything else colorful. It's a Christmas Tree. As you walk towards it a sudden gale of wind rushes through the cave and the little make shift tree seems to shatter like glass. It's time to move on. You trudge on into the cave, deeper and deeper with only the light of your suit. Eventually you find an exit. The blizzard seems to have cleared and dawn was approaching. After a short while of scanning your surroundings you immediately recognize a device the size of a large box. It was a Stress Beacon. You immediately wire it to your suit and to your utter delight, the Stress Beacon lights up. You start to notice the warmth of the sun and look towards the horizon. The sky was clear and a light breeze enchanted the air. The snow glistened in the wake of a radiant sun and mountains stood triumphantly in the distance. You take a moment to bask in this Christmas Dawn before confining your attention to the Stress Beacon again. It's not long before you find a radio signal.

    "Hello? Is anyone there?" You ask.
    A voice riddled by static answers back "Yes, we read you."

    The End

    It's safer here at the entrance. Who knows, there could be some terrible beasts deep in the cave. There's no need to risk it when you have shelter. Gradually your thoughts fade back into Christmas. You reach into one of your suit pockets and extract a golden pocket watch. You were going to give this to your brother. He always did like those little trinkets. The watch itself must've been over a century old since they stopped making them a while ago. For your grandmother you had a nice traditional dress made by one of your Avian friends. She loves other cultures. It would have been nice to see their faces light up again. In the middle of your thoughts, you notice the blizzard starting to clear up. You decide to take a peak outside now that the weather is calm. You notice a small little crevice near the cave entrance. As you peer in, you discover two small wooden boxes and one large one. On each of them is engraved "Rest." They're coffins. Perhaps they hold a family taken by sickness. You wonder who could have made these coffins? Well, maybe you'll find answers out there. Day light is beginning. You stand there among the coffins for a moment longer. There was a sad story to be found here but standing here isn't helping anyone. You then decide that you better take advantage of the weather and light. As you move towards the horizon a slight draft pushes you along, almost encouraging you. You head out to survive for all those who couldn't. Slowly, the land before you is illuminated by the light of the sun. You continue your journey in the warmth of a Christmas Dawn.

    The End

    nababoo likes this.
  2. It's a really cool concept, I never would have thought of doing an interactive story.
    My only suggestion would be to make it longer, because for me it didn't feel like the story ended in some of the endings (yes, I read all of them :p)
    For example, it didn't really feel like an ending to me when I (SPOILER!) stayed in the entrance of the cave and then when the weather calmed,
    I just walk out and the story is over.
    Deotay likes this.
  3. Deotay

    Deotay Cosmic Narwhal

    Thanks for enjoying the concept, it's really the only thing that separates it from the other great posts in the contest.

    I was thinking about making it longer but I remembered that the contest wanted short stories, so I decided to keep all the possible stories at 3 paragraphs. How many paragraphs do you think would be proper? I do agree that some of the endings are a bit empty and lack a proper resolution. I'll try to either add additional paths or re-write the whole paragraph to make it a bit more fulfilling.

    Thank you for your input. I really appreciate it. Happy New Year.
  4. Scruffy

    Scruffy Pangalactic Porcupine

    Damn, I planned on doing this but I took too long to post my story :(

    Anyway, I like it but it's fairly short in my opinion. Happy New Year! :coffee:
  5. I think you could fix it by just changing the last paragraphs a little.
    For example, instead of "Jacob walked out of the parking lot",
    you could say "Jacob walked out of the parking lot, and he knew it would be a wonderful day."
    Ya know what I mean?
    Anyway, happy new year :)
  6. Deotay

    Deotay Cosmic Narwhal

    Ah, sorry. I hate it when people post an idea before me too. Yeah, I tried to keep it a "short story" like the contest implied but looking at the other submissions, it seems they are leagues longer than mine. Happy actual new year!

    Yeah, I'll try to see if I can edit it to make it a bit more fulfilling. Maybe a couple additional details will make it a bit better. Happy actual new year!

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