An Apology

Starbound has been a life-changer for myself, and undoubtedly many others involved in the modding community. There've been ups and downs and all sorts of changes but a few things have remained constant. Great modders, great content, and my abysmal attitude. They say the hardest things to do are apologize and admit you’re wrong. So, here we go!


I started the project as Frackin Flora 4 years ago for something to help pull me out of a long-standing depression ( I won't get into my other mental health issues suffice to say I do have some, though I suppose that is likely not a surprise ). It helped, certainly, as I got something to focus my mind on. I pumped out a ton of cool stuff, and before I knew it the project had morphed into something else. After FU absorbed VisotU roughly one year in, it became an entirely *different* beast. Team members signed on, and we aggressively expanded. At the same time, life got rather frustrating on my end and I hit a rather severe emotional low for quite some time.


Work, life and mod got more and more complicated , and I found myself with too little time to effectively do what needed to be done. This led to shortcuts, and biting off more than I could chew. I absorbed too much, too fast, and fell short in attributing those who'd helped out over the years. I've made pains to attribute all that have their content within the mod wherever possible (hence the credits.txt file within the mod assets, and the CF page) but in a few cases I (or others on the team, potentially, but the blame still rests on me as project manager) neglected to contact the original author in a timely manner either due to forgetting, or laziness and procrastination. On occasion , I completely neglected to do so (though never maliciously or intentionally). Worse than that, however, I let my own issues affect my online activities/behavior and well, simply put, acted like a giant douchebag when dealing with many members in the community. This led to many situations that could have been easily avoided had I taken more care and approached things more carefully. Especially where my mouth/fingers are involved.


Nothing scummy or shady has ever been the intent, but my own actions have not helped perception in this regard. I said some nasty crap about some good people and gave attitude where it wasn't warranted. Regardless of the setting in which it occurred, much was absolutely unacceptable in any arena. I said some really stupid, immature crap in uncontrolled anger. This is especially true in the case of @UnsubReddun and @I Said No (GayMonsterDad). A recent event on the FU Discord really brought out the worst in me, and I'm attempting to make amends in the only way I can. I made some threats I never intended to carry out and generally just raged like a buffoon. I'm ashamed of my behaviour and how it has affected not just the people mentioned above, but anyone else who've had to endure my crap. There is a difference between being blunt and aggressive, and just being a dick to people. I certainly fit into the latter group.


Know that I am making efforts to change this. Without you folks this community wouldn't be what it is, and none of us modders would have anyone to share our hobby with. To that end, my team has begun combing through assets seeking out anything not secured with permissions and seeking said permissions or otherwise pulling the content. Anyone that might be in this group, contact the new FU Community Manager, @carithekitty .There are a *lot* of assets in FU to comb through and that will help speed things up substantially. Thankfully this list is not large, and should be rectified in short order.


Unless directly requested from mod authors, FU will not be absorbing any more content unless proper attribution can be assured. Furthermore, I promise to improve my dealings with people in the community, as the crap I’ve spewed only hurts people. I never wanted to hurt anyone, but I did. So I’m done with the insults, too. Might be a bumpy road there, but every effort will be taken.


I should have been a positive role-model in this community, given my experience and knowledge and how many people look up to me as a result. Instead, I've provided you with a an unpredictable emotional headcase that can be intimidating to even approach with simple problems.


So for what it's worth:


@UnsubReddun and @I Said No, along with anyone else I have caused stress, issue or problems with in the community, I was out of line, and a total idiot about it all and should have gone about things in a much calmer manner and acted with more care, caution and consideration. You are all amazing people that deserve respect and dignity...not what you got from me. I am truly sorry.

 

I don't even know if your post was meant to be like a letter or if you expect answers, but let me tell you that I think you're brave. Brave to have continued that gigantic project that is FU, to continue even if you were at the lowest of yourself. For that, I think you're a person one can respect without thinking twice about it. Through your work, you acted as a match that lighted many fires, some greater than others, but all of those enable their creators to improve themselves, and for that, I think the community thank you, Sayter.

 

Ey, Thanks for all the contributions you've made to the community.

 

Modding is hard, handling people is hard, and making something that pleases everyone is about as realistic as achieving perfection. I enjoyed FU, but it is not like there wasn't its share of issues. Examples being the restored Human Bunkers spawning underground but having no background blocks and almost zero loot and those Underwater reed biomes that generate without water. Sometimes the crafting systems or what-not were a little nonsensical or the wiki being barren of desired information, as I spent a fair amount of time trying to figure out where to get bug shells. Enough teasing aside, I think I found more joy in crafting new outfits to put my poor little Hope in, and overall, making things pretty has always made my most happy.

Ending regards; It is admirable to step up, recognize your mistakes, and promise to correct them, but we aren't going to fix you for you. The only one that is going to change you is you, and it takes courage to embrace it. From one idiot to another, I hope you find the change you desire. Besides, there are far far worse mod authors out there. *COUGH ODABUTSU COUGH*

 

Thanks for posting this Sayter. Gives a better perspective of who you are. I think most of us see beneath the projected image of yourself, at least I have. We're all human, we all make mistakes, suffer and go through hard times. It takes a lot to have the self awareness and recognize what mistakes they have made and what they need to do to balance it out. Especially because you're already making attempts to balance yourself out in real life. We all have that darkness in us, just remember you have the support of the majority of us in the community and outside the community. Sometimes the hardest thing is asking for help or reaching out. We're all human, most of us at least. Don't ever hold it in and let that darkness destroy you mentally, you have too much to offer and share with the world.