Corrupt a wish V.2

Granted, divorces, drugs and war now mess up your work.

I wish I had more Cards Against Humanity players.

 

Granted. Every blank cards has either Mecha Hitler or Boris the Soviet Love Hammer on them and the joke's shock factor dies.

I wish for the ability to focus on a lecture and some reading at the same time.

 

Granted, you focus on all of those with the help of a sniper rifle. Your professors don't appreciate that.

I wish I had a cool tattoo.

 

granted. the tattoo is also alive.

I wish for P.O.O.P T.O.O.T

 

*splutters and laughs*

The Alucard is a guided missile wielding anti-grav engine jet.....Luftrauser being the title for jets of that series....

Granted. But as I have no idea what that is you instead get poop.

I wish for mad skillz, bruh!!!

 

Granted, You get judged for it every waking second though.

I wish I was better at consoling people.

 

Granted, it was brussels sprouts.

I wish for world domination.

 

World domination by who? Me? Ok thanks!

I wish I could make a better profile picture...

 

Granted, it's a green potato.

I wish I could swap from hotkey set to hotkey set without mixing the two up.

 

Granted, but you forget all happy childhood memories.

I wish for spare parts.

 

Granted; however, you must go to Lordran to get them.

I wish for a flame-proof nest.

 

Granted, it's made of asbestos and gets sprayed with water every time it catches fire.

I wish for a tube of toothpaste.

 

Granted, but we had to remove your teeth in order to maintain the universe equilibrium.

 

Granted, you cease to exist.

I wish to have Fun™.

 

Granted, however, the product is used past its warranty, and you accidentally broke it.

I just want something I can never have...

 

Granted. Say goodbye to your sanity and humanity.

I wish I knew what to do next week.

 

Granted, it's a terrible idea.

Kinda I want to, maybe just for tonight... we can pretend it's alright...