Avali Nexus' - Seven threads of nothing and counting!

Sentiments echoed.

 

// if you don't feel welcome then just look at the response, people want you to stay! people like having you around! what does it matter, all i do is RP. i haven't posted anything "worthwhile" since the DnD thing, which never happened anyway, that and this place IS for off-topic and such. you have to search far and wide to find a "useless" post, just look at the "what Alpha didn't find on the internet" where random pics get posted. so please, we enjoy having you here.

 

I've been here for seven threads, I feel even less welcome now than I did in the first thread, as the community got more and more close knit everyone just passed me by, the only folks to ever reach out to me and try to get to know me were shadowhunter and randomvintage

 

You contribute your snark, pessimism, and grouchiness...

You may think you are useless, but you balance things out. Good cannot exist without bad, though you're not necessarily bad, complementary in nature to most here. I find it refreshing actually, a furry who isn't full of themselves and their fuzz, almost admirable.

 

// why is it you do not feel welcome?

 

In those 7 threads I have gone from the idiot who tries to argue with ryuu, to the guy who posts shitty art, to the guy who reposts shit he found on reddit, the legacy I have behind me in the nexus is mostly hollow and joyless, I have never amounted to anything more than a face in the crowd except by making an antagonist of myself, i have nothing to take pride in save for a single long distance relationship, in which I frequently feel that my GF is too good for somebody like me, I don't think the nexus wants anything out of me but comic relief, and I don't want to live like that

 

You know, this may sound pity boohoo-ish in your eyes, so this may not mean anything to you, but one of the thoughts I've had associated with you in my mind is "I really wish I found something in common with him"
It would have really given me an actual reason to open up your steam chat tab instead of trying to make awkward attempts at shitty small talk.

 

// we are friends here. we do not get our laughs from making fun of others members.

 

We are friends here,

Yes we may not talk with you often or anything,

But the same goes for me, i rarely talk with anybody here, but we are all still friends.

 

I was going to post something, but apparently stuff is going on-

( I skipped 14 pages though what is going on- )

 

That's not what I'm saying at all, I'm not trying to paint myself as a victim of anything but my own dissatisfaction, I don't even care if you're laughing at or with me, I just don't want to be remembered as a clown, humour works well enough for a lot of things, but for me it has never filled the void of actual friends, I don't smile except when everyone else is laughing at a joke I made or something, I don't feel comfortable around my "friends," I have next to none to begin with, I have no skills to speak of beyond basic mechanical comprehension, I can't even justify my own continued existence, by all measures something should have done me in years ago, but thanks to the sheer stubbornness of my body and the kindness of strangers who have rarely stayed in my life for any significant period of time I'm still here and no better off than I was 12 years ago.

I struggle with basic tasks, I have failed at everything I set my mind to, I constantly fight with myself to at the very least not do something that will ruin me, I have no motivation, and my family and teachers only set me higher and higher, making each consecutive and inevitable fall all the more soul crushing

 

i'm creating life

 

Huh, I thought I was the only one who secretly had it this bad.

 

ha, I don't even keep it a secret, though I probably should because it only worsens the last problem whenever I bring it up

 

sometimes i feel the same way, that i do not feel my skills increase but the demands does. that what little ability i have is bieng milked dry from others, but sometimes you have to look at yourself from up high. not as a speficic person but as a human being.

me right now as an example: simon is trying his damnedest to cheer a friend up, though white text on a black background. he is on the side playing a game and currently drinking a raspberry milkshake.

what are you doing right now?

 

crying at a computer desk covered in papers adorned with somebody else's writings which failed at their intended task of helping me understand advanced mathematics

 

it must be more common. i have the same feeling sometimes.[DOUBLEPOST=1409688048][/DOUBLEPOST]

what is it you are studying?

 

Geometry and Algebra II

 

im not good at math either... i really want to help you more though. right i guess i can give you a few links, you have probably heard of a few of them.
Wolfram Alpha,
a super calculator for all things math and more.
http://www.wolframalpha.com/

Khan academy,
the best (and pretty much only) online education. (god i sound like an advert)
https://www.khanacademy.org/

and a fun, (yes i found it quite fun) little game for the phone
Dragon box,
a game to teach you everything from the basics to the advanced of algebra.
http://www.dragonboxapp.com/

i hope some of these help at least somewhat. if there is anything you, yourself can say you need please do not hesitate to ask me. please.

 

I've already tried Khan academy to no success, and I doubt wolfram alpha can help as some of the equations I've been asked to solve contain not a single actual number