Kleux Has A Son A Short Story by Zellman The lone figure hacked another vine out of his way as he pulled himself into a small clearing in the jungle. He was nearing his goal, a small village that his GPS and orbital scans told him was just a few kilometers away. He hadn’t brought is dropship directly into the village because the avians of Delta Coriani III had reacted poorly to such intrusiveness in the past, sometimes with fatal results. The avians in this system had shown a penchant for taking small slights seriously, and brazenly flying into their airspace uninvited was seen as an insult. Consequently he had landed the dropship ten kilometers to the south as directed by the avian Air-Regent. The figure brushed aside his long dark hair and pulled the hood off his head revealing a worn face that definitely hailed from the Southern American Union of Earth Prime but had been blended with European influences that made him stand an impressive height especially for a human with little genetic engineering. Carlos Vinden had travelled three months to reach this village on Delta Coriani III and he was very conscious that he was being observed by the suspicious avians. Avians were the first non-human sentient species that humans encountered once they reached space. The avians were bird-like humanoids, who stood about two meters tall, roughly a head taller than most men. They moved in a jerky, unemotional way that made most humans cautious with them. This caution had led early human interaction to be very polite and consequently a steady peace had been established between humans and avians. The avians built their society around the worship of their deity Kleux, and their goal was to attain to an afterlife where they would dwell with Kleux and fly again. In spite of their birdlike appearance, you see, avians were flightless, and this irked them to no end. Carlos caught sight of a tall avian emerging from the woods across the clearing. Behind the first avian emerged two more vicious looking warriors armed with plasma pikes and ray shields. Carlos raised both his hands in a gesture of peace and disarmed welcome, and the avian in front returned the sign. This was a good start, he thought, now to get access to the village. He waited for the representative to speak. “Greetings, unfeathered one, you have come to the village of Carakataka. Before we allow you entrance I must confirm your purpose here. I am QcheqtepLeTakecatefra, high priest of Carakataka” Carlos quickly parsed the avian honorary name and after another bow responded. “It is my pleasure, High Priest Qcheqtep, as I informed your Air-Regent on my approach I am Carlos Vinden, a missionary friar from Sol III, and I have come to talk with you about something very important.” “I am sure you consider your purpose important, Mr. Vinden, or you would not have spent the time and resources to come to our backwater colony here in Delta Coriani. What is your mission here?” “Qcheqtep, I am here to inform you that Kleux has a son.” Qcheqtep cocked his head and gesturing to Carlos to come closer replied. “I have heard about this human idea, but you will understand if I don’t immediately accept your position. However, I will hear you out and then decide whether I will permit you entrance to Carakataka. Let us sit and discuss.” One of the avian guards set down a pack and set up two chairs. He then stepped back and resumed his still silence. Carlos took one of the seats and settled in. This was the gauntlet. He would have to persuade Qcheqtep of his position before he would be allowed into the village to speak to the rest of the avians. Carlos breathed a prayer. This was why he was here. As a missionary friar of the Benedictine order he sought to spread the news of Christ to people of all races in the galaxy. Shortly before contact with the avians, Christian thinkers had confirmed among themselves that the good news of Christ was not simply a human institution. If God was the creator of all life, then his son Jesus was the savior of all races that bore his image of rationality, volition, and self-determination. This is where Carlos would have to start. Some common ground would have to be established. “Qcheqtep, I have come here to share the news of Jesus Christ with your people, but first I would like to clarify some questions about Kleux. Would that be alright? The priest, who was straightening his turban, bobbed his head in confirmation and gestured for Carlos to continue. “Kleux is not merely a tribal god among many gods is he?” “That is correct, friar, Kleux is the God of all that is, all that has been, and all that will be. Even if you do not recognize his power, it was he who created your egg, and preserves your existence.” “I understand, Qcheqtep, thank you. Would it not be logical for Kleux to share knowledge of himself with all of his creation then, and for us to find traces of his revelation throughout the galaxy? For if he were father of all, would he not care about all of his fledgling creatures?” “It is written in our scriptures, Friar, ‘Kleux has left his mark on all life, and all his creation bears his impression.’ It is this impression that you refer to? “Precisely, our religion too speaks of a single divine father of the entire universe, and we believe that God has not left any of his creation in the dark to be forced to dwell without him and his revelation.” “So you are saying that your Jesus is your name for Kleux? This is not what I have heard from my study.” “I would not say that it is a direct comparison for a couple of reasons, Qcheqtep. You see, your avian leaders teach that sacrifice and works of piety will bring them back to Kleux where they will fly forever with him. But Christianity teaches that all people are hopelessly fallen unless they have their sins forgiven directly by Jesus.” “Yes, you humans do not sacrifice the crandi on altars where their blood brings you closer to Kleux. Instead you offer no sacrifices. How can you expect Kleux to accept such disrespect?” “That is crux of what I have come to you to speak about, Qcheqtep, and I hope you can hear me out on this. Your own prophet Tckal wrote about a vision he saw where all the crandi beasts on Avianis Prime were slaughtered in a ritual to redeem the planet, and yet Kleux was not satisfied. Tckal ended his vision in a lament with the words, ‘Truly, none but the purest crandi sent from Kleux himself could atone for our sinfulness, for until Kleux sees that sacrifice, we are all grounded in our evil.’” “Tckal, spoke true, and our elders have interpreted his work to mean that we must simply do our best, sacrifice, and hope it is enough.” “I am here to tell you, honorable priest, that this sacrifice has been made, and there is a way to atone for our evil without further sacrifice of crandi. Kleux has provided the purest crandi sacrifice. He came himself and became a flightless one and sacrificed himself to atone and forgive the evil of all who will accept his sacrifice.” The Priest glared at Carlos and his voice sharpened. “Kleux is divine. How could he be a sacrifice? What you speak is sacrilege!” “Doesn’t Tckal’s prophecy demand this, Qcheqtep? No finite sacrifice can atone for our fallen evil. We must have an infinite sacrifice. And who is infinite except for the one Kleux would send who offered himself as a sacrifice to cover the evil of all who will believe. Our scriptures parallel what Tckal prophesied. They say ‘It is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sin’ and the answer to this impossibility was Jesus. He said ‘For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy’ and ‘where these have been forgiven, sacrifice for sin is no longer necessary.’ It is Jesus who is this perfect sacrifice from Kleux.” “Don’t you see Qcheqtep? These are the impressions that the father of us all has left, so that none in his creation should be left in darkness.” “So you are saying Kleux became this featherless human you call Jesus? Why would he not come to the avians to become this perfect sacrifice Tckal spoke of?” “All creatures are Kleux’s. And the only difference between human and avian is that you have feathers and I wear this skin. Before Kleux we are the same, we are souled beings who desire to find the impressions left for us by Kleux. And Jesus the son of Kleux has united these impressions and become the Tckal sacrifice, the perfect one, atoning for our evil when nothing else could.” The priest abruptly stood up and gestured to his aides. Carlos stood as well, unsure of where the conversation had taken them. Then Qcheqtep turned back to him and replied. “I will look into what you have said, friar, your knowledge of our scriptures and prophecies shows respect for our traditions, and I will need to examine the scriptures to see these things for myself. Return to your ship and I will send for you again when I have studied this. Also, if you will, transfer a copy of your scriptures to my Air-Regent, I would look further into these parallels that you speak of.” Carlos breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at the avian. “Absolutely, Qcheqtep, I will transfer it immediately. Oh and before I go, I must tell you, Jesus didn’t stay dead after he was sacrificed, he rose and sits with God now.” “Of course, Friar, Tckal’s sacrifice could not be defeated by death.”
This is a story that I have had bouncing around in my head for several months now. It started with my fascination with speculative sci-fi like the works of Heinlein and Asimov. These authors wrote stories that speculated about what future humanity would face in space, and as technology advanced. I have always been fascinated by the question of how different aliens would interact with humanity and how we would react to them, if they exist. As a Christian, I believe that there is a God who is over the whole universe and loves his creation. If there are aliens, God would love them too and would want them to know him. This story, Kleux Has A Son is written with this idea in mind. God has left signs in the universe that he is, and that he has a desire for his creatures to know his truth. However because people throughout the universe are currupted by evil desires, he sent a redeemer, Jesus, to restore them and to offer forgiveness. In this particular story, Jesus was sent originally to the humans, who were then to spread the word of his forgiveness to all who hadn't heard. I have read another story in which a similar question is confronted, and that author had each species receive a visit and redemption by Christ in their own form. I hope you enjoyed this small work of speculative sci-fi. -Zellman EDIT March 1: This piece was written before the release of the Avian Lore, I hope this wasn't too distracting for anyone.
IndentedHello Zellman. IndentedFigured I'd share some thoughts about the story. Two corrections you should make, though, and they're enclosed in the spoiler (and rather minor). IndentedNext, the writing itself is fine. True, there was no turn of phrase or use of imagery that caught my interest, but sometimes, so long as the writing speaks true, there's no need to dress it up. IndentedNow, that said, the back and forth between Carlos and Qcheqtep maybe halfway through the story could've used some work. The way I see it, it's just an information exchange, with little of the nuances of speech or character that good dialogue should have. Also, the lack of reflection; moments where Carlos could've paused to perhaps refine a point, or wonder about something Qcheqtep had said. The story was stripped down of surrounding detail by that point—not a bad thing, mind you—but if the dialogue isn't lively as a result, the whole affair comes off as bland. IndentedAnd speaking of lively, onto the theological points. IndentedI can appreciate your being a religious believer, but by that point of the story it all did seem to have become a mouthpiece for Christianity. Not that I've a problem with the propagation of well-meaning faiths! IndentedBut the similarities you've drawn between the faiths of the characters seems a bit rigged; it's strange because I would think there'd be significant and irrevocably opposed (or at least non-mutual) differences in theology since there is no shared experience (different races; different lives; different social constructions). I mean, like Qcheqtep asked, if Kluex is synonymous with God, and if T'ckal's perfect sacrifice actually is Christ, why then would Kleux'/God's son only take on a human form? Why not appear as an avian? And then have avians as propagators of the faith, not humans? (A counter-argument is that these other races do look humanoid, which must point to some shared history of sorts, a validation of the Christian God as the true faith; but, really, that's a game decision by developers choosing not to make any one race too outlandish. It falls on you, the author, to present an alternate explanation rather than work on the misleading connection of shared physical characteristics.) IndentedThat leads me to a point which you didn't explore but is equally intriguing in all this talk of religion: how does Christianity, here represented through Carlos, come to terms with the reality that there are non-human sentients who predate humanity? Which, again, throws into question the specific emphasis on humanity above all others, when it would have made more sense for a deity to approach the first sentient race. IndentedAs a believer, it would only make sense for you to hold to the faith—which you did, of course, through Carlos. IndentedBut I'm approaching the story from the conviction that the faiths are of equal footing—and, as of yet, unproved—which unbalances the Christian assertion of both dominance and validity and points out the need for a more persuasive history to your story. IndentedSo. Really, I wasn't turned off by the religious discussion. And I was obviously interested enough to read to the end! There were some problems, one being the naked info-exchange and the inconsistencies behind Carlos' pitch for his faith as the true religion. IndentedBest of luck with all your writing. =)
Thank you for taking the time to read and respond to my story. I appreciate your constructive tone and I acknowledge that my writing does lack a good bit of creativity. I actually will be quick to admit that I am very much a rookie at writing dialogue. The connection between the two faiths is completely fabricated in my story obviously. I built the story on an assumption that a certain set of facts line up. (a lot of great sci-fi from the 50s and 60s do the same) Rather than treating the Avians faith as a religion with separate roots and with contradictory claims and beliefs (like many IRL religions) I treated it as a parallel religion that had its roots in the same source as ancient Judaism. The same deity gave a similar code of law based on penitential sacrifice, with bits of prophecy pointing to a future deliverance. As for why my story had Christ come as a human and not an avian: This was because in order to maintain a bit of immersion and believability I needed my readers (all human) to be able to connect this story to our human history. I could have reversed the roles, but it would have been much more difficult for me to create facts and history rather than simply using what is already embedded in our culture. This same question can actually be asked to Christians about why Jesus came to the Jews of the first century AD, and not to the Babylonians of the 9th century BC. Honestly, this is an interesting question and is one that can't be answered easily, and the simplest answer is that God decided that this was best. This answer doesn't help people who don't believe, but to someone like Qcheqtep who already has accepted that there is a deity who decides things according to his own reasons, it makes them wonder. That is why I ended the story with Qcheqtep going off to investigate on his own, not falling on his knees and proclaiming his allegiance (which would have been silly). It is entirely possible that Qcheqtep may not accept Carlos' message and may send him away as an unwanted potentially dangerous human. According to Lore in Starbound and most other Sci-Fi aliens have existed for millions of years, this kind of timeline would have overcomplicated my story, since my story was meant to be short I took the easy way out, and didn't address it. I may think about how I could address that question in another story, but putting too many elements in a story can make it a bit top-heavy. Again, Thanks for reading, and for your thoughtful responses.
IndentedBut that's not to say you can't write well, of course. The lead in to the discussion went off without a hitch, and I wasn't confused at all as to what was going on. IndentedYour handle on the language is firm and you should be commended for that! IndentedAh. Good answers, all of them. Thanks for being patient enough to have read my rambling. What you've said really helped. And, again, made sense. IndentedIt was a pleasure. =)
