Your ultimate weapon.

Improbability Drive

 

A laser sniper rifle

Or

Nuclear-powered gatling gun.

 

A single seed that would burst into a gigantic crab. However, due to the sudden transformation and the lack of nutrients for a prolonged period of time, the crab will perish, leaving its shell to act as my fortress.

 

On the planet Zeta CL4P 99...
Murky finds himself corned by viorbs.

He is out of ammo for all but one weapon...the:
MAGNUS QUANTUM INTER-DIMENSIONAL MULTIVERSE
SUPER-DELUXE MAGNUM PHD!!!(Just made this up on the spot )

 

pretty much sums it up

 

Holy crap, I'd all but forgotten about the old TV series "ReBoot"! You hero!

 

Kame-hame-ha. Nuff said.

 

A Towel.

 

a wet towel

 

"A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a bush, but very, very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough." - Douglas Adams: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

 

The creativity here is endless!

 

It'd be a gun that could do absolutely anything, but it wouldn't have a mind of it's own.

 

If a gun couldn't have a mind of its own, doesn't that mean it can't do absolutely everything? Does that also mean it can perform physically contradictory tasks such as creating a hot dog that is at the same time not a hot dog?

 

EDIT: Quoteception? WTF!

 

I am satisfied with that answer I guess... btw, come to apature and tell that to my face (I'm joking).

 

Death Blossom. (The Last Starfighter)

 

As I have said many times.. Flamethrower...

THAT CHANNELS THE FURY OF THE SUN!!

 

right hand a oversized key , left hand a gun.

edit: also a trumpet. +10 who gets the reference.

 

Giant blue robot with flaming 8-balls and a red car for a head.

 

I suppose I could release the seals on the black hole contained within my armoured space carrier, the Despair Event Horizon.