What completely useless thing do you hope is in Starbound?

Useless things... Maybe the ability to recruit a space hobo to be one of your mercenaries?

Yeah, I would like to see that.

 

Secret cow level...

 

I ain't sure if it's been covered or not, but I'd like to be able to sit down in chairs.

 

Of COURSE you are.

 

I want to be able to juggle an assortment of different objects.

There could even be gear that improves the skill by increasing the number/type of objects a player can juggle at a time. small rocks(or big), baseballs, fruit, melee weapons (chainsaws, swords, axes,etc), heads of slain opponents, torches, cider bottles. On top of that, craft a unicycle as a usable vehicle while juggling.

 

I just want a useless item. Nobody knows what it does.
Nobody will ever find out.

 

Like books?

 

i want a pie flavored pie

 

That isn't useless, that is the most innovating game mechanic since multi-choice dialog options

 

leafs that fall from trees(they do nothing just beatiful)
sakura trees (yeah sakura means cherry)
the ability to knock doors

 

Cancer, so I can beat the **** out of it again.

 

A dungeon with only a single room; that room being completely white and featureless, save for the moose standing silently in the center...

 

Woe nelly, I see your riding in on your high horse today. Make sure not to fall, I hear it's a long drop down.

 

FACE YOUR MOOSEY FATE!

 

Cicero from Artix Entertainment much?
AQWorlds muchs?

Off the rails much?

 

who?
what?
what?
I'm confused now

 

There should be a very small chance of finding a pistol in a high leveled dungeon chest that shoots out a flag that reads "Bang!"
I also like the custom paintings and custom music idea where you can create little pixel paintings in game to hang up and upload music to the files that can be played, but tbh those wouldn't be "useless".

 

I would like a catapult. Or the ability to stick rockets to things and let them fly off. Yesh...

 

Left. Socks.
The an AE running gag involving Cicero.

 

a WHAT gag?
seriously.
it just happens to be known to me that various mythological pests sometime enjoy stealing random articles of clothing which would inconvenience the rightful owner, like left socks, and that in certain places you can find people who like to act like these creatures in that regard.
to quote a comedian ; "And then he took me to a closet inside his closet... and all over the walls were old photographs of peoples grandparents. The walls were covered with them, he must have spent years collecting them... and I asked 'why...', and he said 'because its the one thing you can't replace!' ".
Speaking of which, I'd like a camera in Starbound only capable of creating portrait snapshots of any Player it targets. These portraits can then be put into empty frames for no reason, but can be taken by anyone who "breaks" them.