What completely useless thing do you hope is in Starbound?

McDonald's.
Then I want to witness my character grow fat, and die due to eating too much McDonald's.

 

I second this notion.

 

I wishing well that works just like real life ones, and does 'nothing'.

But just like the Goonies' I'll get to keep the moneys NPCs and other players throw in.

 

Doodads to make a convincingly functional base (eg shower stall toilet kitchen sink ) that don't serve any particular gameplay purpose.

 

A book titled "The Book of Useless Information, Amazing Facts, and Bizzare Truths." It could have random stuff in it, like: Did you know that Apex spelled backwords is Xepa? And: Before the diaper was invented, a mother would just point one end of her child outside of her home. And, of course: The first person to discover that milk was drinkable was very, very thirsty.

 

The first person to climb mt. Everest did so accidently while chasing a bird.

 

Exactly! Random facts and whatnot all contained within this random book of random things.

 

So I can rewind my DVDs in the game all day long!

 

Glowing crystals.

 

I want a boss that can only be fought once you do everything possible in Starbound, can kill you in 1 hit, and drops a special building block you can't place. Utterly useless.

 

Perhaps some form of statue that can't be placed, such as an angel statue?

 

Something to make all your efforts to get to that point seem like a complete waste of time.

 

Flippable tables.

 

top hats with monocles and monocles with top hats

 

Weapons that keep count of enemy NPC's and/or players you've killed in PvP, similar to strange qualities & parts in TF2.

Seriously, that'd be kickass.

 

Makes me think of various cursed stones from Nethack. You're all "Ooh, look, a luckstone! I'll just carry this with me, and get more luck for no reason!" But you forgot to kick it and listen for the telltale "THUMP!" of a cursed stone. Now, inexplicably, you cannot drop it from your inventory until you get it uncursed. Also, it weighs like a million pounds.

 

Reverse-able jackets.

 

It sounds gross when you say it like that. But it is actually pretty awesome. Not at all like sauerkraut. Kimchii is all spicy and crunchy and awesome.

 

Just make sure those boots your wearing aren't boots of kicking, or you may end up with more than one cursed stone...

 

Bobble hats. Just suppose it'd be a nice piece as of vanity reasons, assuming it's not already in the game yet.