OOC Wars on Distant Shores (Starbound USCM RP)

Great for staying in character.

Just figure I should put that warning out for some other players in case.

 

ETA on the next plot post Paladin?

 

Paladin.....

 

Working on it.

I actually had the whole thing written out, but when I came back to look at it before posting, It was gone. As it turns out, Drafts automatically erase themselves after a little while

 

That sucks. Well, at least we know it's coming soon!

 

NAME: Snake Anderus

DESCRIPTION: Snake stands at an intimidating 6 foot 7', and has developed a muscular build to accomodate such athletic, or otherwise strong-built, features. His eyes are a light hue of red, irises dappled with variations of blues after an incident involving a genetic modification. Snake wears a long, dragging overcoat of charcoal black and likes to wear dark pairs of gloves and boots to suit the mysterious approach and theme of attire. His posture seems to vary from laid-back to serious and straight, it all depends on the circumstances in which he appears in. Snake tries to fit in a generally mediocre sense of humour, but prefers to get things straight forward and a lot more serious over other things.

GENDER: Male.

AGE: 20.

BIO: Snake as a young boy was born on a heavily-industralized planet, polluted air would conceal all daylight, and was inhaled and exhaled by every inhabitant, whether they accepted it or not. Due to the health hazards, his family decided to move away, but couldn't afford to look after Snake anymore. So after a cruel abandon that was in no means wanted, Little Anderus was in the arms of Master Thief Shelk.

Shelk trained him through the years to become a master theif like himself. Throughout the months he would send him on missions, force him to partake in difficult challenges, or duel one versus one in challenging battles. Once he was moving into adolscense, everything changed. Shelk was murdered on the spot after a failed mission involving a series of foreign cross-species gangs which left Snake to run and take refuge in a small city, and on a seperate island.

From then on he has had to struggle with life's challenges, and will never forget the past he was forced through. It was definitely a shame for him to have gone through them things, but life's never too generous. In fact, to this day, even though not much has sprouted up, the past has brought him benefice. Now he can relate to pain suffered, and can use that to a certain combat-based advantage. Though control less rage isn't really his intent, he can let out some nasty power.

 

Two things. What is his race? Also, the last part of the app is almost unintelligible, I can't understand what it is saying.

 

He is a human. And if the last bit is incomprehensible, then that's you, not my application, I'm afraid.

 

No no, it is most certainly your application. The grammar is shattered....

 

Not really, actually. It's perfectly fine.

 

Are you quite certain?

 

Yes, I am. Perhaps your range of vocabulary or level of English isn't quite expansive, neither is it sufficient.

 

Look man, I don't want to start a flame war but, you go through THOSE things, not them things. "He can relate to pain suffered" is present tense to past tense in one sentance. The last sentence, I don't even know what that is trying to say, and benefice is a term related to church.

Now take your ego out of your eyes

 

My ego is not in me eyes, neither am I narcisstic. Look, I don't want to be mean, and I know you may not be up to date on differing definitions of certain words, but I'll have a check through that application if it's going to end the world as we know it.

And... nothing wrong, I'm afraid. I'll just take my competence from this thread and go benefit a different place, I suppose.

 

ben·e·fice
ˈbenəfis/
noun
noun: benefice; plural noun: benefices

1. a permanent Church appointment, typically that of a rector or vicar, for which property and income are provided in respect of pastoral duties.]

Don't you mean go take your incompetence from this thread to go benefice a different place?

 

Ok that's cute.

 

I was able to read through the application (Grammar, though technically correct, was not necessarily optimum in my opinion, and some of the Word Choice is incorrect as well.)

From what I could understand, Snake (guess his parents were the fans of some ancient video game) was born on a polluted industrial world. It got so horrible that his parents decided to say "Screw this" and leave, and they were forced to leave Snake behind, where he ended up in the hands of a Thief known as Shelk, who taught him Important Life Skills (fighting, thieving, jaywalking, etc.)

However, Shelk died during a fight with multiple cross-species gangs, and Snake went to another city.

Did I miss anything?

 

No, it's OK, but some stubborn members have made me make the decisions to quit, I'm afraid. All sorry about the inconvenience, but the Internet has egotistical trolls, and boy, we found one of them.

 

Jesus man, I'm not a troll or an egoistic arsewipe, but

Makes you sound like some uppity prick who thinks they can do no wrong. And for the record, benefice still doesn't mean whatever you think it does....

 

That's cool.