Tombstones Sayings

Worth it. This is a good one.

 

I just wish it wasn't built on the assumption that Starbound is going to have Terraria mechanics

 

I say you he dead.

 

Good read regardless.

 

"Here lies Zoolot,
he needed to construct
additional psylons."

 

"He jumped in. The water was nice. The inhabitants of said water, on the other hand..."

 

"Here lies Dead Eye Jim. He never saw it coming."
Here lies Sir Edgar the Brave. It turns out bravery can't stop a sword."
"Here lies George the Bold. Perhaps he shouldn't have told her she looked fat in that dress..."
Some Tombstone sayings from a world my friends and I played on.

 

I believe this is Terry Pratchett, yes? Favorite author.

If these are going to be generated piecemeal/from a selection of phrases substituting the character's name, I want to emphasize it actually working, because Dungeons of Dredmor's death messages made no sense nine times out of ten. For instance:

"He pondered like a table." - 1784

Which was kind of bemusing and lovable in its own way, like the ridiculous glitches in Skyrim's initial release, but still likewise absolutely broken.

(If I had to choose my own unique death phrase, it would probably be something else Pratchett, honestly.)

This phrase from Civilization V's technology research comes to mind:

"Looking down upon the Arrow with which it had been pierced, it found that the shaft of the Arrow had been feathered with one of its own plumes. 'Alas!' it cried, as it died, 'We often give our enemies the means for our own destruction.'"

 

[Player] did not go silently into that Good Night....
...[He/She] was dragged into it, sobbing uncontrollably.

[Player] failed to push X to not die.

[Player] should've done a barrel-roll

 

[Player] F*cked With Aria
Ahh... References, How I Love You...
[Player] Found Out That Getting Shot In The Face With a Shotgun Is a Bad Idea.

 

Shakespeare had:

Good friend for Jesus' sake forbear
To dig the dust enclosed here
Blest be the man that spares these stones
And cursed he that moves my bones.

 

"I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar."

 

I'm baaa~aaack!

"He really thought he had made a good flying machine this time, too..."
"This gravestone is banned in seven counties"
"As it turns out, no it isn't safe for Humans to be mutated to lay eggs"

 

"AFK BRB"

 

Did i drop any good loot?

 

"At least the SWAG remains."

 

"Wherever you go, there I'll be"

 

[Player] Hugged A Mine
[Player] Hugged A Chainsaw
[Player] Hugged Lava
[Player] Hugs People Too Much

 

"Not enough hugs..."

 

"[Player] stumbled over a rock, yet died in heart attack from too much greasy bacon."
"[Player] forgot lock airlock...wait what ?"
"[Player] forgot fasten seatbelt before FTL (Faster Than Light) drive." <- (Haven't found out correct name for it yet, could be warp drive or just space travel)
"[Player] put his whole body to feed fishes, literally."
"[Player] didin't pay attention on sword class which end of sword to hold."
"[Player] didin't turn into ghost. To a zombie ? Oh why yes !"
"[Player] died because... wait... who writes these things to tombstone ? Who even makes the tombstones !?"
"[Player] learned how to become immortal... as a zombie ! (Disclaimer : Brains are needed to survive)"
"[Player] died because he/she wanted be like the other people."
"Lava hot ! Ice cold ! None of these matter since [Player] was disintegrated into atoms."

Those were around 5-7min thinking (spell correction included, hopefully), maybe there will be way to add people humorous thinking to game.