Timeout error trying to join multiplayer

Ive attempted to play multiplayer with some friends and so far, only 1/3 work.
We have made sure every mod is the same, that shouldnt be an issue?
and we have been trying misc fixes for weeks and nothing is working. which is strange considering it works for one friend i initially attempted to play with.
all mods are the same, game runs fine, but attempting to join one of the other 2 friends will freeze as it attempts to join for a few seconds, then give a timeout error
the only thing at this point i can think of thats different is distance?
I am on east coast, the friend that multiplayer works with is also on east cost, 8 hours away.
of the friends that multiplayer is giving the time out error with, one is on the other coast, and the other is an Australian friend.
no idea whats happening, if any starbound wizards know whats happening and how to fix it i would LOVE to know why its working for me and one friend with no extra work but everyone else i cant connect with

 

Apologies for the perhaps silly question but where would I find the logs? I'll try and dig those out when I get home!

 

appologies for taking a bit i was out with my mom. attached (i hope) are me (rubii) and my friend from the opposite cost (arc)'s starbound.log files (the upload was being weird i hope it worked)

 

if i need the other logs then ill nab em im just unsure which ones i need

 

ill come back to this if i ever need to be i talked to the friend to try and get it on the logs and it just. STARTED WORKING! FOR NO REASON! WHAT ARE THE RULES