Story The Wonderful (or not so wonderful, if you choose) life of Nicholas.

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Mr.Lincolnham, Jul 16, 2013.

  1. Amfumi

    Amfumi Pangalactic Porcupine

    After living a few weeks as a penguin’s pet, Nicholas started to think on the choices this blue vested man gave him.

    “What could happen if I have opened another door? This reality isn’t the one for me, I feel empty with only eating, defecating and sleeping”

    He then remembered that strange phrase that was said to him, “you can’t be killed”. Starting to use logical and a bit delusional reasoning, he concluded with an unusual thought.

    “If I can’t be killed, what happens if I commit suicide?”

    With a full boredom filled present life, he rushed to one of his penguin’s plasma machine pistols, and aimed to his head pulled the trigger.

    Nicholas then woke up in a liquid filled place. “Where am i?” tried to say with tubes and parts of vital support systems attached to his mouth and body.

    “You are alright, at least alive”. He tried to hear the sensual but almost angry voice that came outside the apex clone system tank he was in.

    After a few seconds, he barely saw a green skinned female hylotl, in full latex, walking outside his own little tank, pressing buttons and pulling things.

    “You should be careful about what you did. I’ll be in care of your “lives” but you need to take care of yourself” said this strange greeny friend.

    “I’ll throw you back but please don’t make this a common thing” and with a big smile and a sexy wink the green hylotl pressed a final button before sending Nicholas to the exact moment when he looked the nearest door.


    “She sent you back huh!” shouted the blue man after seeing Nicholas again. “I’m going to get her at some point” Continued.

    “You didn’t say anything about becoming a pet!” cried Nicholas.

    “I said it’s not my call” argued the blue person before getting his attention again to the control panel.

    “Well you should walk through another door”.

    “Ok, let’s see what comes this time” said Nicholas before choosing another door to open


    note: sorry if there's something misspelled, spanish here.
     
  2. Zaisher

    Zaisher Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    when he went through the door hee realized..... he was in a floran village then the floran from his dream of hanging over a volcano appeared :floran: you should probably run :nich: wh- WHAM he ws hit on the head by a floran and then put in a big pot to be boiled alive
    :nich: what just hapend? :floran: your about the main coruse for one oh also your bones will be used to make the sprouts new toys :nich: wait but I can't die :floran: technicly he said the story would suck if you died not that you can't die :nich: am I drunk? did someone trick me into drinking or something?????

    .....to be....cheesetinued
     
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  3. Isiaic

    Isiaic Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    Nicholas was sitting in a pot. A big pot from what he could tell, filled to the brim with boiling water. Nicholas had spent the last few days sitting in the middle of this pot, thinking about his place in the universe, wondering how, and why, his life had ultimately come to this; sitting in a pot, in the middle of a village resting on the edge of a yellow sea. The only company he had were the resident tribe of Florans who were the reason he was sitting in the pot in the first place. Any attempts he made to get out of the pot were answered with the entire tribe leaping up and shoving his head under the boiling water. Nicholas would wait beneath the surface of the water until the Florans would tear their burning hands away and return to their places around the campfire cookout of the most stubborn meal they had ever seen.

    Nicholas stayed beneath the surface. Every now and then he would lie deep within the boiling water, not moving, not breathing for that matter but as it turned out, breathing didn't matter anymore. So Nicholas would lie there, in the belly of the pot, returning to the surface so that he may partake in the luxury of breathing while also notifying the tribe that he was in fact, still alive, which always made them hiss in annoyance. This little game Nicholas played with them kept him entertained but even that was starting to lose it's flair. Nicholas would wonder to himself how long this could go on. Assuming he couldn't die of old age, his captors would eventually pass on, leaving Nicholas free to leave the pot. However, when he noticed a mural being painted towards the back of the village of a demon with a beard sitting in a pot of boiling water, he began to fear that this game of "Keep-Nicholas-in-the-Pot" would continue for quite some time. "beep" Eventually some-"beep"-thing would "beep" have... "beep".

    Nicholas's jacket was "beep" beeping. He pulled the "beep" collar open and saw a small "beep" blue light was blinking from "beep" inside his inner left pocket "beep". Nicholas didn't like that it was blue. "BEEP" "SHABOOM"

    A ship exiting warp-drive materialized above the village. "Beep, Beep". It's forward cannons began to fire upon into the huts. The sudden
    arrival of the ship along with the spontaneous combustment of their village threw the florans into a panic, running up the beach and deep into the forest. In the middle of all this chaos, Nicholas felt that the best course of action would be to do nothing, but sit contently in his pot. When there were no more florans in the area, the ship ceased fire and landed between Nicholas and the sea. At the front of the ship a cargo door lowered onto the sand. A small squad of soldiers raced onto the beach holding rifles. When they came within view of Nicholas, their leader raised his hand, ordering them to halt. He removed his helmet.

    Nicholas jumped up in the pot, throwing his hands in the air, shouting, "Wittly!"

    The gray avian stared sternly back a Nicholas. "Where have you been!?" Nicholas tried to explain, but the mere thought of the past events sent him into a fit of laughter causing him to tumble out of the pot and onto the beach.

    "Oh great Kluex above," muttered Wittly, then calling out to squad Charlie, "He's gone insane again! Someone boot up the back up pyschi!"

    Nicholas jumped up from the beach. "No, NO! I'm fine it's just..." He brushed the sand out of his beard. "I just...where I've been...this isn't going to make-"

    "RAAAAAAOR"

    The jungle behind Nicholas shook. Wildlife of all shapes and species burst out from the tree line, running or flying, all trying to get away. Heavy footsteps coming from the forest grew louder and louder. "Boom"-"Boom"-"Boom"-"Boom"

    "RAAAAAAOOOOR"

    A floran riding on the head of a massive alien monster emerged from the jungle. Nicholas thought it looked like a T-Rex with three eyes. Blue eyes.

    "Wittly," Nicholas said calmly, "Tell me there is still someone on the ship."

    "EVERYBODY RUN!!" Wittly screamed, turning back to the ship.

    The monster leaned forward and started to charge the squad. Some of the soldiers closer to the ship turned to provide covering fire. The floran shouted something as it raised a shield made from a warped spaceship door. The monster closed it's eyes and continued it's charge. The bullets pummeled it's scales but ricocheted off with no effect. Nicholas still stood where he was, directly in the path of the beast.

    "Nicholas!" Wittly shouted, shaking his shoulder. "NICHOLAS!"

    Nicholas looked at Wittly. His eyes were panicked, and scared. They couldn't outrun that monster, and even if they could, by the time the ship started up the monster would have torn a hole right through it. Then he noticed Wittly's combat bag hanging at his side.

    "Wait here," Nicholas ordered.

    He tore the bag over Wittly's head and took of running towards the monster. He put the strap over his head and placed the bag on his back, tightening the strap as far as it would go. Wittly shouted something in the distance but Nicholas couldn't hear it over the roar of the monster, which lowered it's head and opened it's jaws. 'Perfect' thought Nicholas. He jumped head first into the monster's mouth as it's jaw clamped down tightly behind him.

    The first thing Nicholas realized was that it was dark, very dark. The second thing he realized was the slime. He resisted the urge to gag as the beast swallowed him. When Nicholas finally came to rest in the monster's gut, he felt for the bag and pulled it around. He ran his hands through the contents until he found something smooth and cylindrical. He fumbled with the device until he found the button at the bottom and pushed it. The flashlight turned on, illuminating the...area. Nicholas returned to the contents of the bag. Pistol, ammo, sunglasses, feather brush, granola bars 'how ironic',... yes! Nicholas pulled a small sphere out from the bottom of the bag. "It's not intentional," he said to himself as he pulled the pin from the grenade. "Beep" He shoved the grenade farther down the monsters intestinal tract and reached for another. "It's not intentional." "Beep" "It's not intentional." "Beep" "It's not intentional so technically it's not suic-" "BOOM!"

    Nicholas blinked. Then blinked again. There was light, that was good. And he sitting on a beach, also good. Wittly was standing in front of him with his eyes wide and beak hanging open, better. The monster was standing above him with it's eyes wide and mouth hanging open, and the lower half of it's torso missing. Perfect. One of it's knees finally gave way and it collapsed to the side.

    "What did you?...How did you?" Wittly asked, completely dumbfounded. The floran rider screamed, raising his spear above his head. Wittly grabbed the pistol at his side and shot the floran through mouth, all while staring at Nicholas. The floran fell to the sand in a heap.

    Wittly returned his pistol to its holster. "What just happened?"

    Nicholas stood up and made the relieving discovery that his bones, in fact, had not been blown to jelly. "Well," said Nicholas as he walked towards the ship, "I'll explain as much as I can...as long as I can. It won't make sense, but then again, it's not supposed to."

    "Will you disappear again?" asked Wittly.

    Nicholas came to a stop at the edge of the cargo door. "I'm sorry Wittly," he said as he reached into the combat bag. "But that's just-" he put on the sunglasses.

    "Not my call."
     
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  4. Zaisher

    Zaisher Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    then a giant piece of cheese big enough to destroy the planet started heading for the planet(I think I need to stop eating grilled cheese)
     
  5. Isiaic

    Isiaic Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    Nicholas looked at the sky, slapped himself to make sure the adrenaline had worn off, but that didn't make the cheese go away.

    "Wittly," Nicholas asked calmly, "Is this planet inhabited?"

    "Not anymore, Sir," replied Wittly. "Sir, is that-"

    "Cheese."

    "Just checking. All right boys! " Wittly called out to the soldiers, "Time to let unexplainable nature take its course." Though it took a while for squad Charlie to confirm their sanity, eventually the entire squad made it back onto the ship.

    "Top speed, Sir?" asked Wittly once they were settled on the flight deck. Nicholas stood in front of the captain's chair.

    "If you are suggesting we should run from this insanity as fast as we can, we can't." Nicholas eased into the chair. He had to admit, it felt good. "But I don't see why not. Top speed Wittly."
     
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  6. Priest_Drew123

    Priest_Drew123 Void-Bound Voyager

    When they finally came out of warp, Wittly informed Nicholas that they were orbiting an unknown planet, and unfortunately, out of fuel.
     
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  7. Zaisher

    Zaisher Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    and there was an army of patatoe men yes pataoes not potatoes and... they had muffin monsters? I really need to go get some lunch
     
  8. Isiaic

    Isiaic Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    "I can't believe we ran out of fuel!" shouted Nicholas down the crawlspace that led to the central core.

    Wittly's voice echoed back up the crawlspace. "You have any idea how many people we had to murder to get this thing space worthy?" Judging from Wittly's tone, Nicholas did in fact have some idea. Wittly crawled out of the crawlspace back into central engineering. "And that was before we got the fuel," he added as Nicholas helped him up.

    "Alright," Nicholas conceded, "I believe we ran out of fuel."

    Wittly wasn't finished. "I on the other hand, still don't understand how you managed to travel from camp to some remote rock on the other end of the sector, fall of our sensors entirely, only to reappear in the Palace of "Space Lord Emperor Blue", vanish again, then reappear on the same godforsaken rock as before!"

    "I told you, there is someone out there messing with me!" Nicholas responded, shouting this time.

    "How is one guy able to drag you from one end of the universe to the other?" Wittly yelled back.

    "I DON'T KNOW!" The room fell silent. Nicholas turned away from Wittly. He leaned against one of the room's cold metal walls and collapsed to the floor. "I don't know," he repeated.

    Wittly stood still for a moment. Then, after letting out a sigh, he walked over and leaned on the wall across from Nicholas.

    "And it's not just one guy," continued Nicholas, "It's a bunch of people."

    Wittly laughed. "So a group of space deities just decided to screw with you one day?"

    "Not all at once," Nicholas replied, laughing at the absurdity of it all. "It started with the blue vested guy. He just showed up one day, hit me with a car, then left. It wasn't until after he came back a month later that I hired you and everyone else. Then the pirates attacked and some time after that more of them started showing up, I still don't understand it all."

    Wittly crossed over and sat down next to Nicholas. "So they could show up at any moment?"

    "Seeing on how things are going so far, one of them is bound to come. They tend to show up when things get...quiet." Wittly and Nicholas listened to the quiet hum of the ship. "You know, before this all started I kinda of wished that it would happen." Wittly glared at Nicholas. "Hear me out! I didn't wish for this, I just..." Nicholas was silent. "My life was dull before all this. Nothing ever happened. A day would go by, then a week, a month, nothing. I didn't want anything big, just something to set one day apart from all the others. Guess I wished for too much."

    "Nah," replied Wittly. "I became a mercenary for the same reason. Get paid to travel across the galaxy, all while doing what I'm good at, seemed like the perfect profession."

    Neither Wittly nor Nicholas spoke. The room was silent, save for the quiet hum. Suddenly the intercom buzzed to life.

    "Wittly? Captain?" called the soldier.

    "What is it?" replied Nicholas.

    "It's the planet, Sir. Scanners are picking up a lot of movement below us. It looks like whatever is down there is sending up a ship, heavily armed."

    "Any idea who they are?" asked Wittly.

    "Bio-scans say...this can't be right."

    "It's right," Nicholas said bluntly. "Whatever it is, it's right. Just tell us what it is." 'About time' thought Nicholas.

    "They're...potatoes, Sir. The ship is being manned by...Potato Men. Wittly and Nicholas looked at each other. "And they appear to have muffins, with teeth," the soldier reported hesitantly. "Sir."

    Suddenly Wittly's eyes grew wide. "We're saved!" Nicholas stared at him blankly. "No really, we can use this!"

    "How?" Nicholas asked.

    "Okay, so after we got the ship ready we still didn't have any fuel. However, the engineers in Wilhelm got creative and threw together this biomass converter for the ship. It'll turn anything organic into fuel, only problem is we need a ton of biomass to actually get anywhere. But now we have it! Well, almost have it."

    Nicholas let the information sink in. "And you think it'll work on potatoes," he finally asked, "and muffins?"

    "Well it should," replied Wittly, "It worked on the fish."

    Nicholas smiled. "Then we're going to need a boarding party."

    Wittly grinned and brought his radio to his beak. "Code Red," he declared. "Report to your battle stations immediately. Assault team, gear up and be at the teleporter in five minutes..." Wittly continued to give out orders as he turned and walked out of engineering.

    Nicholas started to follow him but stopped before reaching the door.

    "Really? Potato Men? Really!!" A siren began to sound as emergency lights made the room pulse red.

    Nicholas laughed, shook his head, and ran after Wittly.
     
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  9. Zaisher

    Zaisher Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    (this time I've been working on not relying on having everyones names in :'s) suddenly a floran appeared "hey nick i'm back also his time I actually know what i'm doing" then Nicholas in a confused daze said "waih wah?"
    "yes I have been one of the guys messing with you AND yes i'm the one who made most of the stuff that only a nutcase could under stand" then Nicholas regaining his wits" so YOUR the one that summoned the giant cheese?" "yep" "AND the patatoe guys"" yes and notice how its patatoe and NOT potatoes" then nick questioned why the spelling error?" the floran then enthusiasticly stated "exaactly " "so wait your a space deity?" then the floran randomly stated "no im a guy with WAY to much time on my hands.. oh also the patatoes are now rocks and the muffins are now.... uhh... no i'm too hungry to think of some thing.. why do I always write during lunch?.. oh I know THE MUFFINS ARE PIRATES BECAUSE.....(think of a joke you idoit by now there getting the tazer)......." mean while during the extreme confusion the rocks with pirate monsters attacked! *VWAAAAMMMMMM* " sounds like they hit the oxygen sorry gotta jet" then he jumped through the wall phasing through it and then riding away on a Pegasus said" have fun! also if you pay attention during math and ignore the teachers irritating voice it'll be eeassyyy BYE BYE NOWW!!!!" then the Pegasus galloped/flew away leaving a trail of candy.
     
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  10. Isiaic

    Isiaic Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    Nicholas stood where he was with his left eye twitching. The sirens still sounded, only now the ship's computer added to the din by repeating, "Oxygen Compromised," over and over again. In short, it was an average day.

    "Nicholas, are you there?" asked the muffled voice of Wittly over the radio. Short bursts of gun fire rang off in the background.

    "I'm here Wittly, what's going on?"

    "The boarding party has been called off," he answered. More gun shots. "They're blasting holes in the ship with some kind off rock projectiles, and flooding in through holes are what I can only describe as mutated pirates." Another gunshot.

    "They're...monster pirates," explained Nicholas, "They used to be the muffins."

    "Still die like regular pirates," Wittly replied to the sound of more gunshots, "On top off all that we're losing oxygen so throw on a space suit while you still have time."

    "On it," Nicholas said as opened a utility locker by the door. There was a single space suit with a full take of oxygen.

    "Hey Nicholas?" Wittly called over the radio, "If the pirates are...were the muffins, what happened to the potatoes?"

    Nicholas froze for a moment as he tried to remember what the Floran had said to him. He had said it so fast he barely had time to hear it before the pegasus showed up. 'Everything always happens so fast when he's around,' Nicholas thought. Whatever the Floran had said, it wasn't good, that much he got, but what he had actually said...

    "Nicholas..." Wittly said slowly. 'Something about Calculus? No before that.' Again Wittly's voice echoed over the radio, "Nicholas?" Nicholas rubbed his temples as he tried to focus. 'Something about a tazer? No that wasn't it.'

    "Nicholas!" Wittly shouted over the radio. "The rocks are..."

    Then Nicholas remembered, "The potatoes."

    Wittly cauwed loudly. Nicholas assumed that was an Avian curse. "Fall back!" he shouted as more gunshots rang over the transmission.

    "Wittly!" Nicholas called over the radio, "Wittly!"

    Somewhere on the other end a heavy door slammed shut. "We're all right," reassured Wittly, "But we had to fall back into the med bay. We can't fight rocks with guns, the bullets just embed themselves in the stone."

    "We could use grenades," offered the voice of a soldier.

    "And blow up what little we have left of the ship?" Wittly responded caustically. The soldier didn't respond. "What do you suggest we do, Sir?" Wittly asked.

    Nicholas tried to think of a solution. The steadily thinning air wasn't helping. "Give me a second," he replied.

    The sound of stone pounding on metal could be heard over the radio. "Take your time."

    Nicholas grabbed the collar of the space suit and threw it over his clothes. The chest was a bit big, which was convenient since he was still wearing his jacket. When he finally got the suit on he reached into the locker for the helmet.

    He stopped. He hadn't noticed since the suit covered the back of the locker. Leaning against the inside of the locker was a pickaxe with a blue handle. He stared at it, bent down to pick up the helmet resting beneath it, and stared at it some more. Finally he reached out and took my present.

    "Hey Wittly?" Nicholas called over the radio while he walked to the 3-D printer.

    The sound of stone pounding on metal had been replaced by the sound of slowly tearing metal. "Please tell me you have a plan," he answered, trying not to sound panicked.

    "I do," he replied confidently, placing the pickaxe within the copier. The machine wurred to life, breaking apart the pickaxe then piecing together identical copies. "I found something that should help kill them, just sit tight until I can get to you."

    The tearing sound was growing worse. "That's going to be problematic in a few seconds."

    "Ding" The copier was finished. Nicholas shoved the pickaxes into the matter condensing pockets of the suit, saving one for himself.

    "I'm on my way."
     
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  11. Wintorn

    Wintorn Phantasmal Quasar

    Oh how wrong you are.
     
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  12. Isiaic

    Isiaic Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    Nicholas ran down the corridors of the dying ship at break neck speed. The muffled sound of rock men bursting through the hull could be heard coming from every corner of the ship. The vacuum of space had already sucked all of the air from the outer corridors of the ship. The lights flickered and Nicholas lost his balance, tripping over his own feet and soaring across the floor. The flickering stopped suddenly and Nicholas fell abruptly on his face.

    'Power's failing' thought Nicholas 'Only a matter of time until it goes out for good.' If it- when it came down to that, the suit had a built in flash light and mag-boots to compensate but those took power, just like the oxygen exchange. Not that Nicholas was too concerned, he could always hold his breath if it he had to, not that it would be very pleasant, and he would eventually fall into the planet's orbit, even less pleasant, but the crew on the other hand, they wouldn't be as...fortunate. Nicholas got to his feet and continued running. He had to get them off the ship, and fast. He already had a plan to get them off, getting to them could be worked out, but if the ship lost power...

    'Don't think like that, you'll figure something out' Nicholas said in the back of his head. The sound of rock pounding on metal grew steadily louder. 'Focus on getting them together, then you'll get them off'.

    The med bay lay just around the corner. Nicholas slowed down and slid along the wall towards the edge. The sound had become an awful din of ripping metal and shouting soldiers, their tense voices growing frantic as the rock men pounded louder and louder. Nicholas peered into the hall. A good fifteen rock men stood around the med bay door, ripping the panels away where ever they could get a grip tossing any wires, pipes, or scrap into the holes leading to the void of space behind them. Their bodies were made up of jet black rocks mashed together to form the arms, legs, chests, and heads of the brutes. The only unique feature was a sole red gem jutting out of the heads. A malicious light emanated from the gems bathing the hall in crimson.

    Nicholas eased away from the wall. A head on approach would only accomplish in getting him chunked into space, at which point he would be of no use to anyone whatsoever. He could activate the mag-boots to give him more of a fighting chance but Nicholas shook that idea from his head after listening to the walking rocks destroy the wall for a few seconds. There were too many to fight alone and too many to lead away, assuming he could even get their attention without being chunked into space. If he could get the picks to the soldiers then they would have enough to fight their way out, but he would have to get into the med bay first, and the rock's were blocking the only entrance to the med bay. 'Along with all the "new" entrances they're working on' thought Nicholas. At that moment the pick seemed to grow heavier in his hand. There was a certain strength to it and the tines looked sharp enough to pierce through anything.

    The idea was a long shot but Nicholas was determined to make it work. He had spent a bit of time in the med bay after being picked up and tried to remember the layout of it. Tracing his hand from the edge of the wall, he tried to visualize the other side. Two tables here, a shelf, sink, cabinet of corrosive chemicals 'Avoid that', desk, another shelf, here! Nicholas came to what he believed to be empty space on the other side. He grasped the handle of the pick and raised it high over his head. With all of his strength he swung over his head and into the wall. The tip ricocheted off the surface sending a jarring pain down Nicholas's arms. "AAH!" he cried out dropping the pick. The veins in his hands pulsed and his wrists stung. Nicholas barely noticed the small dent where the tine hit the wall. He kicked the wall, which only hurt his foot, forcing him to hobble on it.

    "Screw this," he growled under clenched teeth, "Going in head first, don't care if I get knocked into space." He reached down to grab the pick. However, when he lifted the handle, a small latch that the fall had knocked loose swung open. Beneath it, was a single blue button. Nicholas stared at the button. In small letters it read, "Sonic". He let out a deep breath, then pushed it. The whole pick whirred lightly. The tine of the pick vibrated rapidly, but the handle stayed steady. Nicholas held the pick in his hand. His wrists still hadn't stopped aching. He looked at the minuscule hole in the wall, grasped the handle with his other aching hand and swung horizontally at the dent. The tine immediately dug into the metal ripping a hole along the wall. "Ha!" Nicholas shouted as he steered the pick in a circle. When he completed the hole he kicked the dislodged metal into the room.

    Wittly and the five members of the boarding party were pressed up along the side of the wall holding up a barricade made of tables, shelves, and even the sink.

    "It's about time!" shouted Wittly. A stone fist punched its way through the way next to Wittly's head. He cawed as he broke a bottle of something corrosive over the fist. The stone began to vaporize and the creature roared. How it could roar, Nicholas didn't know. The barricade heaved. Nicholas ran up alongside Wittly, ramming his shoulder into a desk, forcing the mess back into place. The rock men continued to pound on the other side. "So," said Wittly while he reached for another bottle with one hand, keeping his back pressed against an upturned table, "What's the plan?" Nicholas held up his pickaxe and smiled. Wittly replied with a sour frown. "Please tell me you-" Two more fists burst through the wall. Nicholas stepped away from the barricade allowing it to heave again. The other soldiers strained to pick up the slack. In two swift motions he cut clean through the stone arms. The recently crippled owners on the other side roared with rage, along with all their friends. Wittly's eyes grew wide in disbelief, then fear. "Please tell me you have more," he said in a leaden voice.

    Nicholas promptly opened his suit pockets and handed a pick to Wittly and the soldiers. "Get away from the wall," he ordered. Wittly and the soldiers jumped away from the barricade and lined up shoulder to shoulder with Nicholas along the opposing wall. With no-one left to support it, the barricade began to shake violently. "There's a button under the latch on the bottom of the handle. Push it," Nicholas commanded calmly. The soldiers, somewhat confused, turned over there picks and followed his instruction. Seven sonic pics whirred in unison. The lights flickered as red light began to seep through the cracks in the barricade. "The gravity might fail at any moment. Turn on your mag-boots, now." Nicholas, Wittly, and the soldiers pressed a button on their wrist. One by one the boots began to hum softly. A stone fist dislodged a table which fell to the floor with a loud bang. "And whatever you do," Nicholas said as the first rock man stepped into the room, the gem in his head painting the room blood red. "Don't get chunked into space."
     
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  13. Zaisher

    Zaisher Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    when suddenly they were standing on the planets surface next to a now repaired ship and enough fuel to get them anywhere in the known galaxy then a voice broke the silence excitedly yelling "bravo! bravo! your plan get you all killed! " then nick who was still in a daze "wait where but we were...." but since ill get yelled at if you die I had to save you ALSO...... uhh eh yknow what ALICORN(that's basicly a Pegasi with unicorn horns and magic) KNIGHTS ATTACKKKKK" suddenly an army of alicorn riding knights formed around them armed to the teeth with impervium lances and... healing staves?? then the floran cut in stating " cool I've actually confused the narrator
     
  14. Isiaic

    Isiaic Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    For the longest time, nothing happened. The alicorn knights maintained their formation around the soldiers and their recently repaired ship. Wittly and the five other soldiers stood silently in a line, their picks raised in preparation for an enemy a few miles above their heads. And Nicholas stood in the middle of it all. Unlike the other soldiers, his pick hung down at his side. He couldn't feel the pull from his boots anymore, meaning they were pretty much useless in the current situation, along with the rest of the spacesuit. Most people after spontaneously teleporting from a failing spaceship to the planet below would have been horribly confused, if not absolutely insane. Nicholas, as it turned out, was nothing like most people. Nicholas was used to spontaneous teleportation as well as facing enemies that had no sensible reason for being there, let alone existing within the confines of the universe for that matter, and yet, there they were. Nicholas was used to having a plan, even if it was a bad plan, for fighting his current opponent, only to have the rules of the game change in an instant, forcing him to come up with an entirely new plan, in that exact same instant. Yet this time Nicholas didn't have a plan. Nicholas was done.

    He was done with unexplainable monsters. He was done with the universe collapsing on top of him every time he got a grip of his life. And he was done with spontaneous interdimensional teleportation! Grasping the back of his helmet, Nicholas ripped it off and tossed it to the ground. When he breathed in the stiff air it clung to the back of his throat, leaving behind a sour taste. He stood there, in pointless frustration, breathing in breath after breath of the thick stuff. He stared at the knight directly in front of him. She wielded a tall lance in her right hand, and stave in her left. Jewels and gold string decorated the saddle of her alicorn. Nicholas locked his gaze on her, breathing in, and out. Waiting for her, waiting for Wittly. Waiting for a move, waiting for an attack. Waiting for anything. But nothing happened. The air began to cling to the inside Nicholas's chest, making it difficult to stay angry. As his peripheral vision steadily returned Nicholas noticed something, unusual. Despite the knights having no trouble staying in the air, their alicorns were not flapping their wings, or breathing. Neither the knights, nor their alicorns made any movement at all. Nicholas turned his head to the right to look at Wittly. His face was stuck somewhere between determined and outright baffled. The soldiers had similar faces, each in a different stage of bafflement, yet all stuck. Nicholas turned his head to the left and saw a different face. This one had his hand over his mouth, and was deep in thought. He was staring straight ahead at the ring of alicorns. He was also wearing a blue vest.

    "Hello Nicholas," said the man casually. Nicholas swung his pick into the man's head in response. The instant the tine touched him all the force of the swing vanished. "Good to see you, too."

    "What 's going on here?" Nicholas demanded.

    The Blue Vested Man let his hand fall from his mouth. He looked at Nicholas and shook his head. "I have no idea." Nicholas simply glared at the man. "Whatsoever," he concluded.

    "Then what are you doing here?" countered Nicholas.

    "Trying to figure it out," stated the man simply as he placed his hand back over his mouth. "See," he said, half speaking, half thinking out loud, "I'm tempted to let you and the magical pony knights duke it out to the death. You would have the edge, axes possessing a combat advantage over lances. But they have increased mobility, namely up, which would make it difficult to attack the healers. And since I don't want your soldiers to be massacred in a slow painful struggle I'm thinking about letting them run to the ship, leaving you to fight the alicorn knights in a slow painful struggle alone."

    "Couldn't you just, oh I don't know, erase them from existence?"

    "No."

    "Why not!"

    "Because that would be boring."

    "And this isn't?" Nicholas indicated the frozen world around them.

    "Well, I find it cool." The man looked around in admiration. "But I see your point, which is why I'm trying to resolve this."

    "Can't we just go back to fighting the potato/rock monsters?" offered Nicholas hopefully.

    "No."

    "Why not!"

    "Because that would be rude."

    "How would that...Oh never mind." Nicholas turned towards Wittly and his soldiers. If this took any longer he was going to load them onto the ship and warp away from this insanity.

    Suddenly the Blue Vested Man snapped his fingers. "Ah ha!"

    "AAAAH!" screamed Wittly.

    "YAAAAH!" shouted the alicorn knights raising their spears over their heads.

    "What's going on?" asked a soldier.

    "What do we do?" cried another.

    The Blue Vested Man placed his hand on the side of his mouth and whispered to Nicholas, "Retreat."

    "On to the ship!" commanded Nicholas. The soldiers looked at Nicholas in confusion. He nodded his head towards the ship behind them. Still the soldiers didn't move, however their faces finally reached total bafflement. "Don't question it!" he shouted, "Run!" One soldier took off sprinting towards the ship. The knights shouted again, prompting the other soldiers to run after him. Wittly stood where he was, staring off into space. Nicholas grabbed Wittly's shoulder, pushing him towards the ship. "Come on!" Wittly blinked, noticed the charging alicorns, and took the incentive to run. Nicholas let him gain some distance then took off after him.

    One of the knights lunged towards Nicholas, carefully aiming her lance at his heart. Nicholas swung with his pick-axe, catching the shaft in the curve. He flicked his wrist and tore the lance from her hands. Using the momentum he swung the pick into her chest. The tine tore savagely into her chest plate and struck her collar bone. The force knocked her off her alicorn and into the dirt. Dazed and confused the alicorn flew high into the sky and vanished. Seeing her fallen knight below, a medic far above Nicholas raised her stave and chanted a charm. Immediately the knight stood up and glared at Nicholas. From her belt, she unsheathed two daggers and let out a piercing battle cry. Nicholas turned and ran away in response. Although she couldn't kill him, getting onto the ship with a psycho knight digging into his neck wouldn't be the easiest thing in the world.

    Another knight dived towards the ground until she was level with Nicholas. Pointing her lance at him, she spurred her alicorn and charged. Nicholas ran faster. In the long run it would accomplish nothing but a splitting side, but for the time being it made Nicholas feel just a bit better. However, before the knight could try and skewer Nicholas a ball of fire the size of a couch fell from the sky and careened into her, forming a small crater where she landed. Nicholas stopped in his tracks and looked back at the crater. From it emerged a slightly charred and really angry rock man. Two knights dived the new enemy. Yet when their spears hit they harmlessly grazed the rock. Undeterred the two knights continued to jab the monster who widely swung his arms in protest.

    "Nicholas! Come on!" Nicholas turned to see Wittly standing by the lowered cargo doors of the ship. He resumed his sprint, dodging lances and plummeting rock men. The head knight with the be-dazzled pony swept down to cut off Nicholas. Her eyes brimmed with a thirst for blood. She raised her lance above her head and was promptly crushed by the rock man re-entering orbit above. Nicholas leapt over the newly formed crater and could of sworn time slowed down mid jump. While on route to the other end rock men continued to slam into the ground around him as alicorn knights flew around frantically trying to avoid them. Eventually he made it to the other side and sprinted onto the ship.

    When he reached the top of the ramp Wittly stuck out his arm to stop him. "Wait, who is that," he asked pointing a feathered finger at a Blue Vested Man. The man stood where Nicholas had left him, smiling in the midst of the chaos. He brought his hand to his forehead and gave Nicholas a quick salute. Nicholas pounded his fist on the button to close the cargo door. The ramp swung up until it was flush with the floor, cutting the man off from view.

    "So long," said Nicholas.
     
  15. Zaisher

    Zaisher Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    then in the midst of space
    whi
    le escaping the floran appeared "I have good news and bad news for you nick" Nicholas who had gotten used to him appearing and screwing hm over massively sarcasticly stated "great" "the bad news is your now used to complete insanity the good news I came up with a solution while reading isiacs part" nick who now was only confused about the floran space diete messing with him said" and that would b-" then they were in an office building...and there ship was in the side of the coffee room business men walked around like it was perfectly normal doing there job then nick attemped to talk to one "ummm where are we?" he then recived the emotionless reply of" nice to see you mac lovely weather were having isn't it?" another man then said "hey bill do you have the tax interdimates?" then nick who had begun to realize the bussness men were identical noticed...a magic jelly bean was floating by the window then Nicholas mused at the irony of that being the most normal thing here......
     
  16. Zaisher

    Zaisher Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    just realized I replied twice
     
  17. Isiaic

    Isiaic Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    Nicholas sat at his dull grey desk, in his dull grey cubicle. His chair was dull and grey and ergonomically unsound. Nicholas was supposed to be doing...something, what that was he had no idea, nor did he know how he got to his desk in the first place. The desk itself, aside from being dull, and grey, was simple enough. Sticky notes covered just about every vertical surface. A small potted cactus rested next to a cubic computer monitor outdated by a few millennium, and on the other side was a small picture frame of Blue. The only odd thing about the cubicle, aside from Blue's missing crown and scepter, was the alphabet, which composed of letters, numbers, and spots of flashing color.

    Working was out of the question, partly due to the alphabet, mostly due to the sudden absence of his soldiers. Nicholas rose from his cursed chair and walked towards the only exit of his small box. Just as he was about to step outside a businessman in a heavily starched black suit barged around the walls and stood solidly in the space.

    "Nice to see you Mac." His grey eyes locked onto Nicholas. "Lovely weather we're having." His voice sounded distant and his tone was neither threatening nor kind.

    "My name is Nicholas," he stated firmly.

    "It says Mac on your wall." The business man pointed to a space just below eye level on the outside the cubicle. Nicholas leaned forward to look around the corner but bumped into the businessman's immovable shoulder. The businessman held his glare. "You got those taxidermies yet?"

    "Why," 'or how' thought Nicholas, "would I do taxidermies?"

    The business man's grey eyes turned black. "It's your job." His tone had changed as well, definitely threatening.

    Nicholas hesitated, for a moment, then in surge of brilliant stupidity stated, "I quit."

    The cubicle fell absolutely silent. The business man in the entryway remained standing, his shoulders hunched over. The floor began to vibrate, then shake violently. Nicholas lost his balance and fell back into his chair. "I'm kidding, I'M KIDDING!"

    The shaking stopped. The businessman straightened his back as his eyes returned to their complacent grey. "The deadline is noon. Get them to me before then."

    "Okay," whispered Nicholas, "On it..." Nicholas looked at the clock and noticed that it was somewhere half past rainbow. "What time is it now?"

    "Eleven." The businessman turned and vanished beyond the corner.

    Nicholas sat at his dull grey desk, utterly terrified. He had no intention of repeating that episode, and continued to sit in his chair. On his monitor a sea of bright colors, twisted letters and upside down numbers floated across the screen. He shook his mouse to dismiss the screen saver. The colors changed rapidly while the characters flew across the screen. Nicholas stopped shaking his mouse and the screen returned to the way it was before. Work was out of the question, as was getting those taxidermies done by noon. Nicholas couldn't leave the cubicle to escape or look for his men, whose absence was beginning to concern him. A bead of sweat fell from his forehead. He stuck a finger under his tie to loosen it.

    Nicholas realized he was wearing a tie. He looked down at his new grey suit and dark blue tie. Nicholas looked up at the office phone on his desk. He brought the phone to his ear and looked at the receiver. There were three buttons between what looked like the number pad. Having no idea what any of the buttons did Nicholas took a guess and pushed the one in the middle.

    "Hello!" chirped a bright and cheery voice. A memory stirred in the back a Nicholas's mind, an annoying, grating memory that refused to reveal itself.

    "Hi," responded Nicholas, "I need to speak to the boss."

    "Wait just one moment!" The hazy memory continued to grind on Nicholas's skull. "Okay! The boss will see you immediately!"

    "Perfect." Nicholas slammed the phone onto the receiver. He could not listen to her voice any longer. He stood up and hesitantly walked towards the exit of the cubicle. Again the businessman turned around the corner and stood in the opening.

    "Got those taxidermies?"

    "Working on it," replied Nicholas, "But I got to go talk to the Boss about...numbers." Nicholas moved to slide past him. The business man stepped out of the way allowing Nicholas to leave. Once Nicholas was free he turned away from the businessman and walked in a straight line. He could feel his grey eyes staring at him, but he chose to ignore them. He walked by cubicle after cubicle, occasionally turning left, sometimes right. It wasn't until he past the fifth row of identical grey walls that he realized he had no idea where he was going. But then he would turn at an intersection for no particular reason yet somehow feeling it was right. Having nothing else to go on, Nicholas decided to follow his gut and see where it took him.

    He walked into a large open room with no cubicles but crammed to the brim with desks. Each desk had a computer, a phone, a picture, and a little potted cactus, exactly like Nicholas's desk. Sitting up straight at each desk was a businessman identical to the one next to him, save for a slight variation in the greyness of their suits. Nicholas didn't pay any attention to the slightly disturbing uniformity of the scene next to him and continued walking, until he noticed a gleam of light out of the corner of his eye. He looked towards the source and saw a glitch sitting along the back wall of the room. He was wearing a pitch black suit to match the pitch black finish of his body. A thin yellow visor curved around his head where his eyes would be. If Nicholas hadn't known it was a glitch he would have thought it was a businessman wearing a helmet, but Nicholas knew this glitch.

    “Havoc!” he shouted across the grey sea.

    The glitch looked up from his monitor. “Commander Nicholas.” Nicholas weaved his way around the desks between him and Havoc. “Good to see you are still alive.”

    “Thanks.” Havoc always greeted Nicholas like this, even though he knew it annoyed him. “Do you know where any of the others from Squad Charlie are?”

    “Negative,” replied the glitch quickly. A loud crash from behind the wall startled Nicholas. “Though I assume the Triplets are behind that wall.” Nicholas heard another crash, no the same crash. “They tend to generate chaos wherever they go.” Again, the exact same crash sounded from behind the wall.

    “Got it, I'll check it out later. First I'm going to talk to the man in charge.”

    “Acknowledged. I will continue my efforts to decipher the local alphabet.”

    “You can read that mess?” Nicholas leaned into the monitor. The number 3 sailed across the screen and rammed into the letter I to make a neon green B.

    “I can try,” replied the glitch. “I record every symbol and every passage I see and its various color schemes and assign a random word to it such as “The” or “Barbados”. If the passages I have observed begin to make sense, I keep it, if not, I change it until it does. I repeat this process nearly a million times a second, though progress has slowed due to our conversation.”

    “Got it,” lied Nicholas. “How much progress have you made?”

    “None. Every time the passages begin to make sense something changes.”

    “Story of my life,” mumbled Nicholas.

    “What,” inquired Havoc.

    “Nothing.”

    Havoc looked back at his monitor. “It really is quite fascinating. It acts as though it does not want to be deciphered.”

    Nicholas moved his head away from the monitor. “That is terrifying,” he said slowly. “I'm going to walk away now.” Nicholas turned and walked away.

    “Very well. I shall try to create a formula to predict the changes in the passages.”

    “Best of luck,” Nicholas called quickly over his shoulder.

    ----

    After aimlessly wandering around the office with purpose, Nicholas arrived at a tall imposing door with “The Boss” stamped above it in dark blue letters.

    “Yep, this is the place,” Nicholas said aloud. Nicholas opened the door and stepped into a small waiting area. A long leather bench lined the rich mahogany walls. A small golden chandelier hung over an ornate desk where a bubbly women sat. Her bright red curls cascaded down to her shoulders and her face was covered in freckles. The name plate on the desk read “Linda”.

    “Hello Nicholas, he's expecting you,” she said in a cheery voice.

    “You!” exclaimed Nicholas, pointing his finger at Linda. “You're from the radio.”

    Linda went starry eyed as she put her hand over her heart. “You remember me! Oh yes, I am, or I was, but then there was that whole episode with the pirates leveling the city, not very pleasant now that I think back on it, but that's the past and now I have a new job working for...him!” She jutted her thumb over her shoulder at the even bigger imposing door behind her.

    “Him?” asked Nicholas.

    Linda's shoulders drooped. “I don't know his name,” she admitted, almost guiltily. “I usually refer to him as 'Sir' or 'Boss' or just 'Him', but he normally prefers 'The Blue Vested Man'.” Linda placed her hand on the side of her mouth, leaned towards Nicholas and whispered, “He thinks it makes him sound mysterious.”

    “Right...I'm just gonna head in now.”

    “Go on ahead!” Linda motioned her hand towards the door with a bright friendly smile on her face.

    Nicholas walked towards the door. 'If words had color, hers would be pink,' he thought to himself as he stepped through the door.

    He walked into a long dark room. Bookshelves lined the left and right walls. At the far end of the room a long mahogany desk sat in front of a large fireplace. Dark blue flames danced across the logs casting an eerie glow on the walls of the room and the blue vested figure sitting at the desk.

    "Well hello, Nicholas." He was sitting back in his chair. He pressed his fingertips together beneath his sinister smile.

    "Where the hell are my men, and where the hell am I?"

    The Blue Vested Man frowned. "What, no 'Hello, it's good to see you, I like what you've done with the place?' Just ' Where the hell are my men?' That's all I get as a greeting." He leaned over the desk. "We talk so rarely. "

    "Its barely been a day." Nicholas hadn't moved from the doorway, mostly in an attempt to keep his patience in check.

    "Yes," replied the Blue Vested Man leaning back in his chair, "I suppose you do interpret things differently."

    "Where the hell are my men?" Nicholas demanded harshly.

    "Oh you know where they are!" The Blue Vested Man leapt up from his chair and walked around the desk pointing at Nicholas. "You simply don't remember."

    Nicholas gave up on his patience. He roared, "I don't have time for you to be-"

    "Fine!" The Blue Vested Man held up his hands. "You already found one, and he was right about the triplets. Go find them - and you know how to find them, you'll remember as you go - and you'll find another of your soldiers. As for the last one, his job requires him to keep moving so you'll run into him eventually."

    Nicholas glared at the Blue Vested Man, waiting. "That's it?"

    "That's what you wanted isn't it?"

    Nicholas resisted the urge to break his nose. "Do you have to be so cryptic?"

    "It's more fun this way." Nicholas clenched the muscles in his arm. He wanted to hit him, oh how he wanted to hit him, but he resisted. "Besides, you don't have time for me to elaborate."

    "Why? Are my men in danger?"

    The Blue Vested Man paused for a moment before answering. "Their lives...no." He turned from Nicholas and slowly walked away, his hands clasped behind his back. "The very definition of their existence however," his head whipped around to reveal a toothy grin. His eyes gleamed with malevolent anticipation. "Most definitely."

    Nicholas ran towards him. He grabbed the edges of his vest and brought his face in close. "Explain!"

    The Blue Vested Man threw his head back and laughed. "I said you don't have much time,” he brought his head back up and looked straight at Nicholas with his crazed eyes, “but this will make things much more fun. This realm - the office - is rather orderly wouldn't you say. Each businessman works diligently just like his fellow workers. However, if you take a look outside..." The Blue Vested Man raised his hand and snapped his fingers. Shutters along the wall folded up revealing a void of chaos. Bright and dark clouds swirled around and crashed into each other. A patch of purple clouds parted exposing a hunk of rock, maybe an island, possibly a continent, floating amid the chaos. Suddenly the rock began to shake and break apart, only to reassemble, then freeze over a moment later. "For a realm this orderly to last this long is unheard of in this dimension. If anything changes, no matter how minute, the realm will dissolve into chaos. You've already tested it once, I don't recommend testing it again."

    Nicholas let go of the Blue Vested Man and stepped away from the window. He backed up until he bumped into the wall behind him. "How did we get here?"

    "The same way you get anywhere, someone put you here. Why? I'm not entirely sure. I think he was trying to do you a favor, but then again I never know what he's thinking." The Blue Vested Man chuckled, "Ah but he makes me laugh."

    Nicholas regained his composure. "I need to get my men out of here. How do we leave?"

    "Well since the dawn of the space age, spaceships have been excellent vehicles for leaving unpleasant situations."

    "How does that help-"

    The Blue Vested Man held up his forefinger. "Think."

    Nicholas paused for a moment. "...the coffee room!"

    "Excellent, he has direction!" cried the Blue Vested Man, "But be sure to get there before noon. If your supervisor doesn't get those taxidermies by then...well, that would upset the order of the system, so many deadlines would be broken, it would cause quite a bit of...chaos."

    Nicholas's heart pounded against his chest. "What time is it?"

    The Blue Vested Man reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a silver pocket watch. "12:20."

    "What!"

    "No wait...11:20. My bad."

    Nicholas grinded his teeth together. "God I hate you sometimes."

    "11:21." The Blue Vested Man looked up from his watch. "Tick-Tock, Nicholas, Tick-Tock."

    Nicholas turned and ran through the large doors, all while the voice of the Blue Vested Man continued in the back of his head, "Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock..."

    ----

    Desks rushed by Nicholas as he ran down the hallways of the office piecing together a plan in his head. ‘Step one: get to the ship. Step two: get everyone on the ship. Step three: take the fastest warp out of this insanity.’

    Nicholas rushed by a businessman clad in black. “No running in the halls,” he uttered drealily. Nicholas neglected to heed his warning until the building began to shake causing a crack to appear in the wall next to Nicholas, who nearly fell flat on his face when he abruptly stopped his feet in front of him. He regained his balance and began to walk at a brisk pace.

    ‘The ship is in the coffee room, the coffee room is behind Havoc, the Triplets are in the coffee room, and if I take the most direct route I’ll find one of my soldiers leaving only one left to find in little more than half an hour.’ The slight comfort this knowledge gave Nicholas helped calm him down, even if the fact that the Blue Vested Man had given him this knowledge made his blood boil. Nothing the Blue Vested Man ever did, no matter how direct, ever helped. There was always some catch, something he neglected to mention that would involve Nicholas running around while most likely being shot at.

    *Boom!*

    ‘Please don’t let that be the catch,’ thought Nicholas.

    The sound had come from a small room, the printer room if Nicholas’s new memories served correctly. Nicholas thought to sneak around the corner so that he might peer into the room, but thought against it when he realised his only weapon was a ball point pen. Nicholas walked into the middle of the room to find a business man hunched over a copier. His grey jacket hung over the edge of several boxes of printing paper. His torso heaved heavy breaths in and out and his arms twitched ever so slightly. Nicholas couldn’t see his face but guessed this must have been his soldier, even if he couldn’t see his fins.

    “Typhoon?” he asked, trying to sound as calm as possible.

    The Hylotl whipped his light sea green head around with murder in his eyes. He leapt towards Nicholas and dug his fingers into his shoulders. “Tell me we’re leaving.” His voice rattled with rage as he spoke.

    “We are!” Nicholas replied as quick as he could. “We are...soon.” Typhoon’s middle eye started to twitch which made Nicholas instantly regret adding “soon”.

    Typhoon let go of Nicholas’s right shoulder and pointed at the machine behind him. “I have battled with that infernal contraption for what feels like an eternity that has amounted to nothing!”

    *Bing!* Sounded the machine.

    “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Typhoon screamed as he let go of Nicholas and did a flying kick into the lid of the copier. His foot impacted the machine with a loud *boom* that shook the room.

    Nicholas’s heart stopped. He reached out a helpless hand. “Typhoon, you really don’t want to…”

    *Bing!* Sounded the machine.

    “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” screamed Typhoon.

    “Do that…” finished Nicholas.

    Typhoon grasped a meter stick with both hands and struck the copier after each word of, “I! Just! Need! One! Copy!”

    *Bing!* Sounded the machine.

    Typhoon’s hands blurred as he rapidly hit the machine shouting, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

    The floor began to rumble. Typhoon, however, did not notice, and continued his onslaught against the machine which replied, *Bing!* with each hit. The room started to shake.

    Nicholas clasped his hands together. “Typhoon!” Nicholas said loudly while still trying to sound calm, “Would you like a glass of water?”

    Typhoon stopped, as did the room. He held the meter stick above him ready for another swing. He jerked his head to the side to where Nicholas could see one and a half sad, watery eyes. “Yes please,” he whimpered.

    “Come on,” Nicholas exhaled, beckoning with his hands. “Let’s go get a glass of water.”

    Typhoon dropped the meter stick and turned around. “Okay,” he sniffed. He put his jacket back on and whispered calmly, “okay.”

    “Come on, follow me.” Nicholas led Typhoon down the quiet halls of the office in silence. Typhoon walked next to him breathing deeply as they went.

    “Are we really going to get a glass of water?” he asked once he fully calmed down.

    “Yes,” reassured Nicholas, “And hopefully find the Triplets.”

    “What about Havoc and Wittly?”

    “I found Havoc a while back,” Nicholas hesitated before admitting, “I haven’t found Wittly yet.”

    “Any idea where he might be?”

    Nicholas thought for a moment. “His job requires him to move around, I guess that means I’ll have to wander aimlessly until I find him.”

    “Isn’t that how you found me?”

    “Yes and No. I didn’t intend on finding you, but I was already headed to the coffee room.”

    “Is that where we will find the water,” Typhoon asked earnestly.

    “Yes.”

    “Then let’s make haste.”

    ----

    Once Typhoon saw the fridge in the coffee room he raced forward and ripped the door open. In one swift motion he seized a water bottle, rent the cap off its grooves and guzzled the cool water. In the corner the floran Triplets watched in horror. Nicholas walked in behind Typhoon, who was working on his second bottle of water. The coffee room was just as he remembered it, even if he'd only remembered it ten seconds ago. It was a small alcove off the hallway. Counter tops and cupboards lined the back wall. There was a sink, a microwave, and a fridge currently occupied by Typhoon. The only unusual thing in the room was the side of a spaceship seamlessly embedded within the wall. Two business men stood in front of the side door of the ship mumbling about numbers. The word “Nebula” read across the hull of the ship in bold silver letters.

    The Triplets stood next to the coffee pot by the sink. They were identical to one another and if it wasn't for the fact that they were color coded, Nicholas would never have told them apart. Vulcan's sharp leaves held a light orange-reddish hue, while Tremor's had a darker brown-red. Tempest, the oldest of the brothers (at least by two seconds), was the most distinct in that his leaves were a dark coniferous green.

    "Boss!" they exclaimed in unison.

    "Good to see you too boys, you doing okay?"

    "More than less," replied Tempest.

    "We’ve been keeping ourselves entertained," added Tremor.

    "Entertained," asked Nicholas apprehensively. The Triplets definition of "entertainment" usually entitled high levels of wanton destruction.

    "Watch!" Vulcan grabbed the coffee pot behind him and hurled it against the wall. The pot whizzed through the air and crashed against the wall, barely missing the businessmens' heads.

    The Triplets laughed out loud at the businessmens' lack of a reaction and the look of panic on Nicholas's face. He rushed forward and grabbed Vulcan. "Don't you know what you're doing!" he screamed.

    The brothers stopped laughing, even Typhoon stopped in the middle of his third bottle of water to look at Nicholas.

    "B-b-but..." stuttered Vulcan.

    “Look.” Tremor reached behind Vulcan and pulled out the same coffee pot from before. Nicholas’s jaw dropped in bafflement. He reached forward to touch it but Tremor dropped it at Nicholas’s feet. Nicholas stared at the shattered remains of the pot, waiting for the building to shake. When it didn’t, Nicholas looked up at Tremor.

    “How did you-” Tremor reached behind Vulcan and pulled out the coffee pot. Nicholas’s hands shot forward and grasped the coffee pot before the Triplets could destroy it again. It was a regular coffee pot, granted, one Nicholas had watched shatter into a million pieces, twice. ‘The pieces!’ Nicholas looked at his feet. The shards of glass were gone. He looked at the wall. The Nebula was still there, but the pieces were gone.

    Tempest took the pot from Nicholas’s hand. “As long as no-one is looking where it is,” he hit the pot against the sink so that all the pieces fell inside. “It reappears where it was.” He pushed Vulcan out of the way to reveal the coffee pot sitting on the counter.

    Nicholas took a moment to breathe, then another, then another. The Triplets looked at him in concern.

    “Uh, Boss?” they asked in unison.

    “Stop doing that, right now.” The brothers looked at eachother, then Vulcan pushed the pot off the counter with one finger and a sly smile.

    “Vulcan,” Tempest chided lightly.

    Nicholas took a step towards Vulcan. He leaned into him as as he asked, "Vulcan, do you know where we are?"

    Vulcan looked around nervously, doing his best best to avoid brushing the face inches in front of him. "Uhm, an office?" he replied hopefully.

    Nicholas took a breath. "Tell me, Vulcan, does this office seem 'normal' to you?"

    "No."

    "Why not?"

    Vulcan blinked. "Well the businessmen don't react and the building occasionally...shakes."

    "Oh good, you've noticed the shaking." Nicholas took another step towards Vulcan who leaned back over the counter. "Do you know why it's shaking?" Vulcan opened his mouth to speak, closed it, then merely shook his head. Nicholas leaned in over Vulcan. "It's because every time something falls out of order the entire building begins to collapse into a void of chaos that would tear us apart before you could let out a chuckle. So when I ask you not to do something," Nicholas grabbed his shoulders, "Don't! Do! It!" Nicholas waited for a response. "Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

    Vulcan nodded his head rapidly. "Yes, Boss. Got it. No chaos. Understood." Nicholas lashed a look at Vulcan’s brothers, who nodded rapidly alongside Vulcan.

    "Good," whispered Nicholas. "Now stand aside." Vulcan gave Nicholas a confused look. When Nicholas didn't move, Vulcan decided it would be best to just sidle out of his way. Nicholas walked up to the counter, looked down, gently pushed the coffee pot out of the way, and rapt on the wall, *rap-tap-ta-tap-tap rap-tap.* Nicholas placed his ear as close to the wall as he could manage.

    "Hello?" replied the muffled voice of Havoc.

    Nicholas cupped his hands on the wall and said, "Come to the coffee room."

    "But I have not finished deciphering the alphabet."

    "And you never will, now come on!"

    "Point taken. I will arrive shortly."

    ----

    "You called for me?" asked the glitch.

    "We're getting out of here Havoc," Nicholas replied.

    “Great,” added Typhoon, holding on to his fifth water, “How?”

    “Once I find Wittly we’ll all hop on the ship and take off. I want all of you to wait here until then.” Nicholas turned and walked into the hall.

    “O.k. great,” said Tempest, “So you found some fuel.”

    Nicholas stopped mid step, “What?”

    “The ship’s hit empty,” explained Tremor.

    Nicholas turned to face the crew. “We had a full take only a few hours ago!”

    Tempest stepped forward. “Yeah well somewhere between here and the crazy knight ladies we ran out.” Havoc noticed the coffee pot and began to examine it.

    “How do you know?” countered Nicholas.

    “We checked,” stated Tremor, “What, you didn’t think we spent all of our time smashing coffee pots.”

    Nicholas grabbed the sides of his head. “No, no! We don’t have time for this.”

    “Why?” asked Vulcan, slightly concerned.

    “My taxidermies are due at noon, and I have no idea how to do taxidermies!” The five present members of Nicholas’s crew stared at him, horribly confused and concerned. Nicholas slapped his palm against his face. “Did you not hear what I said about the building collapsing into chaos?”

    “Yeah, so?” answered Tremor.

    “That includes not finishing our work before noon.”

    “What!” shouted Typhoon and the Triplets.

    “I need to make that copy,” exclaimed Typhoon as he raced towards the hall.

    “We need to figure out what to do!” cried the Triplets, scrambling towards the desks.

    Nicholas spread out his arms to block the opening. “Don’t bother!” he shouted as his panicked crew tried to push past him, “It’s pointless to try and we need to focus on getting out of here.”

    “I could not agree more,” replied Havoc over his shoulder. He had remained calm during the entire ordeal, and was doing something at the counter.

    “Havoc,” asked Nicholas, “What are you..”

    Havoc turned around to reveal the coffee pot in one hand and a plastic spork in the other. He had taken various ingredients from the cabinet and mixed them together into some ungodly solution in the coffee pot. “I may not have heard that part about the building collapsing into chaos, but I believe it is safe to assume that it goes against our best interests. Also, the completion of our jobs may prevent the collapse from occurring immediately, but their nature forces us to waste time we do not possess. Therefore, swift escape is the best course of action, and I have the means to do so,” he held the coffee pot aloft, “right here.”

    “How does that putrid concoction help us?” asked Typhoon.

    “It’s not supposed to kill us is it?” questioned Vulcan.

    “No,” responded Havoc, emoting as much annoyance his monotone voice would allow. “It will serve as biofuel.” He lowered the coffee pot. “Or did you forget the converter Squad Wilhelm so kindly made for us.”

    “Of course!” exclaimed Nicholas. “About time I got to see it work.”

    “There is one problem,” added Havoc.

    “Of course...”mumbled Nicholas.

    “To make a suitable solution I require sugar, which this office is sadly lacking in, would any of you have some?” The soldiers hung their heads in defeat. “I don’t need much,” he stated, trying to reassure the disheartened crew, “perhaps some sweetener? No? A glazed pastry, a soda, a-”

    “What about a jelly bean?” asked Nicholas.

    “Yes that will do nicely.” The Triplets and Typhoon immediately cheered upon hearing that they were saved. “Give it here.”

    “I don’t have it. But! I know where it is. All of you wait here, I want to leave as soon as possible.”

    “Well hurry it up then,” scolded Tremor.

    “Yes, do hurry Nicholas,” Havoc replied while walking up to him, “Also,” he put his arm around Nicholas’s shoulder and brought his head in so they could whisper without the others overhearing, “Where is commander Wittly?”

    “I don’t know, but I’ll find him, don’t worry.”

    Havoc stared at Nicholas before responding, “I do not wish to entertain the idea of abandoning him-

    “I will not abandon him!” Nicholas struggled to keep his voice below a whisper. “I will never abandon anyone!”

    Havoc looked back at the crew. Tremor was trying to convince Vulcan to smash the coffee pot while Tempest held them in a headlock under each arm. Typhoon leaned against the counter and sipped on his sixth bottle of water.

    “There is more than his life at stake here.” Nicholas fell silent. “Nicholas, are you aware of the time?”

    “No. Are you?”

    “Yes.”

    “How?” Nicholas exclaimed in a strained whisper.

    “It, cooperated,” he replied. “Nicholas, I do not think I need to stress the value of calmness during this situation, but it is 11:45.” Nicholas looked at Havoc with horrified eyes. “Do hurry.”

    ----

    Nicholas rushed down the halls as fast as the businessmen would allow. Left, right, left, left, and right again he raced around the walls, grazing the corners more than once. He remembered the magical jelly bean floating amidst the chaos, he remembered seeing it through a single grey window, and he remembered where it was. How long it would take to get there however…

    He thought about running once or twice, but didn’t want to risk throwing the building into chaos. ‘If I get there, I’ll get there. If not...’ Nicholas pushed that unpleasant thought aside. ‘I’ll get there. I’ll get there. I will get there, I will get back, and we will leave...all of us.’

    Nicholas turned left around the next corner to find himself in a long corridor that stretched the length of the building. A short distance away was the window.

    “Yes!” Nicholas cried aloud. He risked running towards the window and looked outside. The (apparently magical) jelly bean floated gently outside, unaffected by the void.

    ‘How do I get it?’ Nicholas asked himself. He looked around the edge of the window and found a clasp along the sil. He grabbed it, questioned whether or not opening a window would plunge the building into chaos, realized he wasn’t leaving without that bean and concluded with ‘screw it’. He threw the window open.

    The building did not fall into chaos, though two businessmen mumbling next to a water cooler looked at Nicholas.

    “Just getting some fresh air.”

    The businessmen returned to their mumbling, and Nicholas returned to the jelly bean. He hadn’t realized how far away it was. He stuck his hand out the window to gage the distance. The air tingled every nerve in his hand. The sensation was gentle at first, but grew in intensity the farther he stuck his hand out. By the time his elbow left the window his fingertips began to freeze and burn at the same time.

    “Ah!” he cried out in pain. He ripped his hand back into the office and cradled it with his other. He heard a familiar voice taunt him in his head. ‘tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, TICK-TOCK! TICK-TICK! TI-

    “SHUT UP!” Nicholas screamed. He collapsed to the floor and laid his head on his knees, his arms he wrapped around his legs.

    Time passed on, not much time mind you, not that there was all that much time left for Nicholas or his little band of soldiers. He couldn’t bring himself to face them. Even if they got worried and left the coffee room it wouldn’t matter now. Not that they would. They trusted Nicholas. Completely. They believed Nicholas would come back before the realm fell apart. After all, he had to.

    Down the hall footsteps began to walk towards Nicholas. They sounded like business shoes. Steadily they grew louder, and louder as they drew closer to Nicholas. ‘Time’s up.’ The footsteps came to a stop in front of Nicholas.

    “I didn’t complete the taxidermies…”

    The figure waited before replying, “What the hell are taxidermies?”

    Nicholas looked up. It was Wittly. He was wearing a janitor’s jumpsuit and black plastic boots. In his right hand he held a dirty mop and pulled a grey janitor cart behind him with his left. “You look terrible.”

    “But I dress nice.” Wittly leaned the mop against the cart and helped Nicholas up. “How did you manage to find me?”

    Wittly scoffed. “The same way I always find you; follow the sound of your bossy voice back to the source.” Nicholas laughed. “So what’s the situation this time?”

    “Oh you know, the usual; unexplainable events coupled with an overbearing sense of mortality. This time if we don’t get that jelly bean the entire office will collapse into chaos, taking us all with it, redefining the very definition of our existence, and I am very tired.”

    “We need that jelly bean huh…” Wittly reached his hand out the window.

    Nicholas grabbed his arm and shook his head. “Bad idea.”

    “Huh,” grunted Wittly as he scratched his feathery chin. He turned around and started to dig through his cart. He pulled out a wad of fly tape and wrapped it around the mop. He gripped the end of the handle with both hands and stuck it out the window. Nicholas’s heart pounded against his chest. “It doesn’t reach-”

    Nicholas spun on his foot, walked over to a nearby desk, grabbed a meter stick, said, “I’m gonna borrow this,” to the grey businessman sitting at the desk, walked back to Wittly, grabbed the mop and wrapped the end of the stick to the end of the handle with the remaining fly tape.

    “Think it’ll hold,” asked Wittly, doubting it would.

    “If it doesn’t there will be a very violent conversation with the boss about the durability of our office supplies afterwards.”

    “Okay.”

    Nicholas carefully stuck the mop out the window. Slowly the sticky tip inched closer and closer to the magical floating jelly bean. The fly tape brushed against the glowing surface of the bean. Nicholas gently pulled back on the meter stick, pulling back the mop, pulling back the bean. Nicholas furiously reeled the jelly bean in through the window and ripped it off the fly type.

    “Come on!” He grabbed Wittly’s arm and pulled him down the hall.

    “My cart!” he cried reaching out with his free hand.

    “Leave it!” The building began to shake. Wittly tore away from Nicholas and grabbed the handles of the cart with both hands. The building stopped shaking. “Alright take it,” he exclaimed, “but hurry!”

    “There you are, Mac.” Nicholas’s spine turned to ice. He looked over his shoulder. Standing between him and the way back to the coffee room was a businessman in a heavily starched black suit. “You finish those taxidermies?”

    Wittly took note of the horror on Nicholas’s face and pulled him the other way down the hall. “Where do we need to go?”

    “The coffee room!” Nicholas shouted.

    “Stay close!” Wittly threw his full weight against the cart and propelled it down the hall. Nicholas stayed as close to his heels as he could. Wittly veered around a corner and Nicholas followed suit. A businessman looked up from his desk.

    “No run-”

    “Really big spill, can’t let it seep into the carpet, he’s helping me, gotta hurry.” The businessman returned to his work.

    “How did you know to say that?” asked Nicholas.

    “Don’t know.” Wittly yanked on the cart and clipped the corner of a wall. Nicholas followed closely behind.

    “I need those taxidermies, Mac.” Nicholas hurled himself against the wall to avoid running into the Black Suit. He bounded off the wall and sprinted after Wittly.

    “Who is that?” he called over his shoulder.

    “My supervisor. Run!” Nicholas quickened his pace and caught up to Wittly. With one hand he grabbed onto the cart and clenched onto the jelly bean with the other.

    “Left!” shouted Wittly. Nicholas helped steer the cart around the corner. “Right. Left. Left. Right. Stop!” Wittly and Nicholas pulled back on the cart and stopped in front of the coffee room.

    Nicholas barreled towards Havoc. “Here!” He placed the jelly bean in his metalic hand. Havoc removed the lid to the coffee pot and dropped the bean inside. It sunk into the mixture with a *plop*.

    Suddenly the mixture turned bright yellow. Havoc slammed the lid on the pot and barely had time to say, “Oh dear.” before the mixture erupted into a blast of bright light that shook the pot. “Tempest, you’re swift on your feet,” he said taking a step towards the floran. “Take this to engineering and chunk it into the converter before it explodes.” He handed the shaking pot to Tempest who tightly grasped it with both hands. “And do not let it breathe.”

    Tempest spun on his heel and stepped towards the door of the ship but was stopped by the two businessmen mumbling in front of it.

    “Uhm...” moaned Tempest impatiently. “I need you to move again.”

    The businessmen looked up at Tempest. Their black eyes glared at him. “Where’s that chart I asked you for, Steve?”

    Nicholas stepped between Tempest and the businessmen. With his right arm he punched the businessman on the left to the floor, reversed the momentum of the swing, and elbowed the businessman on the right in the nose. He grasped the clasp of the door and threw it open. “RUN!”

    Tempest flew through the door in a blur. Vulcan followed after him, then Tremor, Typhoon, Havoc, and finally Wittly.

    A hand clamped onto Nicholas’s shoulder. “MAC!”

    Nicholas spun to the right on his toes, “It’s,” elbowing his supervisor with his right arm, “COMMANDER!” socking him in the jaw with his left, “NICHOLAS!” grabbing the sides of his head and ramming his knee into his gut, “TOO YOU!” Commander Nicholas shoved the limp body of his supervisor to the quaking floor.

    Nicholas leapt onto the Nebula and slammed the door shut behind him, locking into in place. The hull of the ship began to shake as Nicholas raced down the corridors. He burst into the cockpit as everyone settled into their stations. “Tell me we can leave.” Beneath them in engineering something exploded.

    The intercom buzzed to life. “ *Cough* *Cough* Made it...*Cough* ”

    “Engines primed and ready!” declared Tremor.

    “Havoc, take us out!” ordered Nicholas. The ship shook violently.

    “The office will not let go!” Havoc shouted. The ship groaned and shook again, knocking Nicholas into the captain's chair.

    “Shall I initiate warp, Sir?” asked an all too familiar voice. Nicholas whipped his head towards Tempest’s seat. Sitting below him was the Blue Vested Man, his head thrown over the back of the chair, looking at him with his crazed eyes. His hand gripped the warp throttle.

    “DO IT!” Nicholas barked. The Blue Vested Man gave Nicholas a toothy grin and threw the throttle into maximum warp.

    The ship lurched forward.

    ----

    (Somewhere, in the middle of space.)

    *shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAABOOOOOM!*

    The Nebula appeared seemingly from nowhere, mostly unharmed, aside from some unusual scratches. A wormhole behind it collapsed into itself and was no more.

    ---

    Aboard the cockpit the dazed crew of the Nebula attempted to gather their bearings. Nicholas looked back towards Tempest’s seat. The Blue Vested Man had vanished.

    A thoroughly sooted Tempest stumbled into the doorway. “ *Cough* Did we make it?”

    “Yeah,” replied a dazed Wittly, “Yeah, we made it.”

    “Whoo!” cried Vulcan, throwing his fists into the air.

    “That’s great…*cough* I’m gonna go take a shower. Oh, and Havoc?”

    “Yes?”

    “I hate you.”

    “Acknowledged.”

    Tempest turned and stumbled down the hall. A second later he fell to the floor with a loud *thud*. His brothers got up from their seats and raced after him. “Thanks,” he said.

    “He will be fine,” Havoc stated without looking away from his console.

    Typhoon stood up suddenly. “I’m going to get a drink.” He walked through the door and turned down the corridor towards the mess hall.

    “Well,” said Havoc, breaking the momentary silence, “That was an interesting scenario, where should I take us to now?”

    Nicholas and Wittly looked at each other. Neither had thought of where they would go if they survived the office.

    “Well…” mumbled Nicholas. The thought of home suddenly came back to him. “How’s home?”

    “Quiet calm actually,” replied Wittly. “ After Space Lord Emperor Blue laid claim to the sector the pirates decided we were more trouble than we were worth and left to defend their claim on the sector. We still get the occasional pillager though, but it’s nothing the main force can’t handle.”

    “The let’s head home,” decided Nicholas.

    “Very well, Sir. I will set course immediately,” replied Havoc. “Though it may take a while.”

    “In that case,” Nicholas got up from his chair, “I’m going to bed.” He turned and walked out of the cockpit.

    “Nicholas!” Wittly called through the open door, “Do you think we’ll actually make it there?”

    Nicholas stopped short outside the door. He looked up at nothing in particular and closed his eyes. He sighed. “Doesn’t matter.” He concluded. “Take the time you have now before everything falls apart.”

    “Got it,” replied Wittly.

    ----

    Nicholas walked down the corridors of the Nebula in silence. When he made it to his room he realized he was still wearing his suit from the office. He took off the suit jacket and realized he had no idea where his old jacket was. He sighed and stepped into his room.

    Lying on his bed was his jacket, folded up neatly with a dark blue letter resting on top of it. Nicholas tossed the suit jacket into a corner of the room and picked up the letter.


    Dear Nicholas,

    I had a feeling you would miss this.

    Sincerely,
    You Know Very Well Who.


    Nicholas crumpled up the letter and tossed it into the corner on top of the suit jacket. He put his old jacket on over his button up shirt and crawled into bed.

    And Nicholas laid there, undisturbed. At least for the next eight hours.
     
  18. Zaisher

    Zaisher Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    seconds before he could finally go to sleep however he heard a laughter "heheheHAHAHAHAHAAHAH"a laughter from an all too familiar voice"YOU!" Nicholas exclaimed staring at the floran from before he then began speaking in a more serious and malevolent tone"finally a use for all the chaos i've created" he then held up an orange crystal slowly converting to purple resisting as though there was a war going on inside the gem" you see at first I was doing this as a simple way to blow off steam" his tone was more serious and twice as malevolent "then I realized with all the chaos I was creating I could corrupt THIS into bending reality for me" Nicholas was confused yet understood at the same time wanting to punch the floran in the face but he knew something insane would happen if he did" you see everytime you created even a TINY bit of chaos I focused it into this gem of unity" Nicholas then began regretting everything he had done hitting that business guy breaking that pot even just running" and NEXT is your home world" he then opened a portal on the floor behind him and jumped in
    suddenly Nicholas realized that they where heading (probably managed to use the wrong were) straight for the heart of the florans next scheme he than ran to havoc yelling" STOP THE SHIP DONT GO HOME" but he was too late suddenly there home came into view under attack by a shadowy reflection of its own defenses that could regenerate any damage within seconds Nicholas watched in horror as he realized the true power the floran held and chills to the point of his spine being frozen went down it as he realized how much chaos the defenses were in not to mention what would happen once the planet was defensless
     
  19. GreatOldOne

    GreatOldOne Space Penguin Leader

    And then Obito saved Naruto...oh wait wrong story line....

    Blue the penguin was a good pet he just had an awful pet owner. He finally realized Nicholas would never come home to feed him so he decided to begin his own journey. A journey that would change the world as we know it.
     
  20. GreatOldOne

    GreatOldOne Space Penguin Leader

    ...phone posting is annoying
     

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