The Star Veterans V1

Goodnight vets

 

Star(shooting?) I am interested in being ur story if u want ma two. And I know the fell of like poetry to story writing. Yet for me it's not the happy king of poems it's more of...
The wind blows strong tonight
As I stand outside in the middle of the night.
I look around imagining that I could fly
Then I thought that soon, I would die.

Kind(darker kinds (rime of the ancient mariner is a big inspiration of this because I read that 2-3 times and it has over 3000 words so yea...))
Edit: I was bored a made a poem. I can pm to whoever wants me to.

 

Got a Suikatar now Dont know if i posted that.

 

it's nice, makes me wonder what my character would look like

 

You did well, except for some glaring spelling errors, and probably some formatting. As Shark said, the formatting does indeed make it look more like a poem, if this is your goal, good job, if not, just delete the extra enter presses between the lines. The main spelling error is "chaptre" is spelled chapter, along with some very minor spelling errors along the way that don't quite detract from the story significantly.

This is my criticism on my first skim over of this story, thank you for your time and effort.

 

just wanted some feedback that's all
and the more reason I need someone to look the chapter over xD

Oh well I guess I'll finally will learn how to spell correctly

 

I can teach you how to spell?

 

I'm still thinking who to choose to reread my story xD
but I am already leaving out dtb
I mean
He helps me with all my drawing stuff
I don't wanna be a bother

 

I wouldn't have offered if I didn't mind helping. At least with reading I can actually help more.

 

Perhaps it'll give him something to do considering that he's not said much to me all day *HINT HINT REPLY ON SKYPE DAN*.

EDIT: I'm dying of boredom over here. Seriously, I think I can see my life flashing before my eyes.

EDIT 2: But...I haven't even played Starbound yet. All of the good times we could've had together...

EDIT 3: What am I saying? I can't die now! Starbound will make up for a millennia of boredom when I can finally implant my consciousness into it. I mean, uh, play it!

EDIT 4: Thanks for believing in me guys; now I don't have to die of boredom. I'll go back to doing cool mysterious things like before.

EDIT 5: You said it, me!

 

You guys should take a look at this suggestion if you have time

 

Done. Here have a .

 

Goodnight... i'm debating wether or not to leave this clan, i think i might have over extended myself. gah but you guys are so nice and friendly!

 

This clan looks... awesome! Hope I get accepted.

 

What signature? Is there something I'm missing?

 

Did you enable signatures? It's in your user settings.

 

Ahh, thank you.

 

Well you're in the member list, so.. Welcome

 

You mad a wise choice joining our humble little abode

 

Welcome, Mast. Can I call you Mast? Mast sounds pretty cool.