The Ambush at the Camp (Quickie)

Discussion in 'Writing' started by Dipdoo, Jan 19, 2017.


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  1. Dipdoo

    Dipdoo Existential Complex

    I sat down and decided I'd see what I could do with an hour, so I wrote the skeleton of this and took another hour to flesh it out. It's just a quickie but I hope you like it.


    The northern alarms rang again, waking every resting soldier and calling all the sentries to the front. From the dense woods sprang the same savages that had attacked the army when they trekked through the marshes a few day before. Half of them shirtless and all of them shouting some sort of chant that matched the volume of the alarms.

    The sentries managed to repel the over-eager wild ones that had gotten ahead of their friends, but they were overwhelmed by the following wave of charging natives. They had done their job, the first legion of heavily armored men stood ready on the main path, already forming their shield-wall as the last sentry fell. They stomped their feet and rattled their shields together, adding to the clamor of the besieged encampment.

    The savages met the legion with a furious charge, hurling themselves against the shield wall, trying to break through. The charge broke on the formation like waves on a cliff. This was the Shilonian Shield Wall mercenary band, a group with enough discipline and training to make any Roman blush.

    The wildlings pressed on the wall of men and tried to hack over, under, and around the shields, but they were too large and the men in the second row too quick. Every savage that lunged around a shield was cut down before they could blink, but they had the numbers advantage and already owned the entrance. Their leader, Snake Eye Gederix, ordered his mainline troops to funnel around the secondary path and towards the heart of the camp, while his savages kept the Shilonian’s busy.

    The center of the camp was filled with soldiers rushing around and getting formed up, some were missing pieces of armor and clothing, a missing gauntlet here, no greaves there. Literally caught with their pants down, the backbone of the camping army formed up in their units and marched down the secondary path with their general, Aetues. Only some scattered reinforcements were sent down the main path where the Shilonians would be holding strong.

    Gederix’s force met Aetues’ at the widest point in the path, with a small river that passed through the edge of the camp. Gederix’s men charged immediately, wanting to claim the midway point, it worked, Aetues had his soldiers prepare for the charge rather than counter-charge and rush the center. His line was rocked by the vicious force of Gederix’s natives, they hacked through the unprepared, professional soldiers like they were some levy rabble. The natives pulled back and Gederix himself led his heavy skirmishers forward as they launched their hefty javelins into the already cracked frontline of Aetues, who launched himself and his best men forward through his now shattered front troops.

    This caught Gederix and his skirmishers off guard, they weren’t armed for frontline combat. He ordered his unit to retreat behind his previous line, many slipped through, but half of his skirmishers were caught and slaughtered. Aetues ordered the rabble of his troops the take the river and attack from the bank, it was less than ideal, but he needed to gain the center now that Gederix had been pushed back.

    While Aetues halted Gederix on the left the Shilonians held the right just as before, now cycling their tiring front with their rested rear. The savages of Gederix were fading by now, the Shield Wall held as the few reinforcements they received hacked in from the side of the shields, adding to the formations killing power. Savages were falling left, right, and center.

    Just as the savages broke and ran back through the entrance, a hideous chorus could be heard, coming from the woods. The Shilonian formation moved forward, taking the entrance and sealing Gederix’s main force inside. But whatever was making so much noise gave the lead of the shield wall some pause. They’ve faced charging hussars and enraged berserkers, but whatever was coming sounded like nothing from this Earth.
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2017
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  2. Double Pwned

    Double Pwned Poptop Tamer

    Very good, I'm a huge fan of many medieval topics and genres, keep up the good work!
    Dragonclaw and Dipdoo like this.
  3. Dipdoo

    Dipdoo Existential Complex

    Thank you! I'm a huge fan of the dark ages too. I've been on and off with writing recently but I'm trying to find a nice groove to settle into.
    Dragonclaw likes this.
  4. Double Pwned

    Double Pwned Poptop Tamer

    Well my dear author-ly friend, I think that medieval is your style, and a very nice job with the general air of action and suspense!
    Dipdoo and Dragonclaw like this.
  5. Pangaea

    Pangaea Forum Moderator

    Nice! Very well written. I'd be interested to see where this goes from such a beginning.
    Dipdoo likes this.
  6. Dipdoo

    Dipdoo Existential Complex

    I honestly haven't thought much on how this would continue. I'll keep it in mind now though.
  7. shotaboy7

    shotaboy7 Space Hobo

    can i be in yhe story
  8. Jonathan01013

    Jonathan01013 Intergalactic Tourist

    I liked it! This is kinda a run on sentence though.
  9. Dipdoo

    Dipdoo Existential Complex

    Thanks and good eye! I'll fix that with a period after "pause."
    Jonathan01013 likes this.

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