Chat Tell Us Your Troubles Thread - advice & friendly chats

Oh, I know all that. I am a wonderful, truly incredible guy. Girls tell me that all the time, usually right before asking me to disappear from their lives. So apparently being a studmuffin does fuck all else for me.

You know, I am tired of all this. Of harboring such bad feelings about my life. I am having a frank conversation with the ex. Try to settle this once and for all, either way it goes.

 

I wish you luck.

 

So I'm apparently in an... Interesting, financial position.
Without getting too specific, I've been told by my mother that she and my father cannot afford to
- Buy me a car (And I don't mean a nice one, I mean a beater)
- Buy my brother a car
- Pay my brother's tuition at college
- Pay my tuition at college
- Buy my books for classes (Last year, they spent the money I got for Christmas on them)
And because of the way our finances worked out in 2014, when we filled out the FAFSA it made us appear a lot wealthier than we actually are? Because my dad's company dispenses a lot of money to people who work for them that have to move when they get promoted, in order to, y'know, pay the expenses of moving.
So the FAFSA didn't give us shit, and I'm now faced with the prospect of paying for my car and college education on my own. I'm going to try, but it is already stressing me out.
My plan so far is
- Use however much money I get from graduation, and my birthday, to buy a car.
- Get a job, then using the money I get from that, pay for my tuition.
- Apply for loads of scholarships this summer.
- Hopefully, by the time I'm transferring out of community college, the FAFSA will have adjusted.
This is really just for me to collect my thoughts.

So, is the reason you give up because you don't end up making much progress? Because one person working off their own schedule/motivations can often fail to make progress (see: my stories) due to the vicious cycle of making no progress -> being upset at lack of progress -> continuing to make no progress due to being upset.
Anyway I don't know why I said all that when all I really wanted to do was offer to try and give you a hand. There's a game-creation tool called Superpowers (http://superpowers-html5.com/index.en.html) that I've been meaning to get into, and if you were ever interested in trying to do something with it, that could be fun.

 

Trust me, I can sympathize. I had to buy my own car/insurance. Put myself through college while having a night job because I had moved out and still had to pay for rent/utilities/food, etc. Then came the student loans. Hang in there. If you have a plan, it can be done. (but it won't be easy, I'm not going to sugar coat it).

 

I guess in my case, I can't get back to college because... frankly I can't be arsed. I am getting too old for that shit (not on learning capabiltiy terms. More like the required patience to sit down and memorize shitloads of things I have little to no interest in).

lack of money also factors in, but honestly it might not make that much of a difference anyway.

 

I think you can do it! I waited till I was old enough my parents wouldn't count for anything. They make decent money but they never have anything around because of having too many grown children wanting to live off them. So there was no way they could help me with tuition anyways. So, I am 30k in debt from that now. Then another 12k for my car. Then another 6k in medical bills. Then another 1k in credit card debt. It sucks but somehow I manage to survive. I have learned it always seems so scary when you think about bills and finance. Then when you're in the middle of all the debt you go eh, it isn't the worst that could happen and you manage.

 

That's how my family has always been as well. A bunch of 30-somethings leeching off dear ole dad's dosh. Until now, that is. Father is finally retiring after 55 years of service and income is substantially reduced. There is already a huge drama going on, but I made a point of trying to live completely on my own a few years ago, so that doesn't impact me.

In an unrelated note, I thought only I had dimples like that.

 

Yeah my dad is 65 and mom 55 and they still have a 28 and a 25 year old living at home. But my parents will be moving to a little town soon, they are buying their first house... after all these years. And it is a fixer upper and in a small town with crappy internet. Like where I live. Hahahaha. So I assume my brother whose whole life revolves around gaming will most likely want to leave. I'm sure when my sister can't watch netflix because my parents are will also want to leave. I know I can barely handle our internet. That is one of the reasons I love playing Stardew Valley now. I don't have to worry about my game lagging out my fiance on Halo anymore. Just when I start uploading all my screenshot... but I don't tell him it is me I just hear, "Ugh my internet is lagging again guys." And I just laugh to myself. And well now you know someone else with dimples like that.

 

Oh boy... I can understand your siblings' pain. My life sort of revolves around gaming too (Netflix was a recent aquisition, but it already ate into my gaming time. Things are not looking pretty for my free time...). Having spotty broadband is a nightmare.

Well, my mother is in her late 50's, but unlike my father who will literally buy his way out of trouble instead of imposing any authority in his children (That's how my siblings fleece him), she has no qualms about verbally abusing us until we fall in line. She's kind of spartan and in a way I even respect that. The problem with that is, in her eyes, none of us save maybe one has earned enough respect to stop being treated like unworthy welps. So no one ever considered her help when we needed money. That and she left home to get away from father and needed all the money she could get while getting her doctor degree.

And yeah, those here who saw my face always comment on those dimples. I never understood what's so great about them, but I guess they can enhance a smile somewhat. Also, mum's the word on that internet connection issues your man is facing.

 

Yeah. I don't have a lot of free time for anything else either. But really all I can do since he is usually on Halo is stuff that doesn't involve internet. So I can do chores, play games like SDV or like 3DS or Wii or NES. Or drive an hour to my parents and bug them. Haha or make cards. Tonight I am going to stay up late making mother's day cards because I put it off because of SDV. Oops. But yeah right now my parents and siblings have the fastest internet Cox cable provides I believe. Because they are usually all on internet at once. Bro will be gaming, sis sometimes games while watching netflix. Then in living room netflix will be on while dad is looking up guitar videos on youtube and mom is looking up scrapbooking videos on youtube.

My mom is a little more strict than dad. She is always offering to help me out behind his back though because she thinks I deserve it. The other two she gets mad that dad lets them get away with much. I was actually old enough to remember when mom stayed home. She was strict, we cleaned and helped out and did a lot. We never got to sit around until everything is done and she didn't let Ani watch TV all day. She was forced to go out and play. Then dad got sick a lot and mom had to work 3 jobs. Dad didn't make us clean, he didn't make us do anything. He fed us candy and junk and let Ani watch TV all day. It made me so mad. I was like wait this isn't right. Then mom was so worn out when she needed help she went to me because she knew I would do it and do it right. I never tried to get out of chores or make excuses, I just did as I was told. My only problem growing up was my mouth. I had anger issues and exploded a lot. But other than that I followed every single rule like I would die if I didn't. So I can take care of myself just fine. My sis is a hoarder and spends all her money on stuff. Bro just wants to sit at home and play games. He won't go get a GED or a drivers license. My parents don't really buy my bro anything. But they pay for food, internet, and take him to work. They did pay most of my sisters car off, they wouldn't even co-sign for a car for me I had to go without one till I got my credit good enough to get one, and they help her out with medical bills. It makes me mad she always wants money and I have even caught her asking my fiance to buy her things because she will pay him back. Never does. I bought her a 150 dollar bridesmaid dress for my wedding and she was suppose to at least help pay some because I need the money to buy other stuff for the wedding. Really need it now because his dad is sick and we have been driving 2 hours to visit several times a week. It is adding up a lot. But I saw she bought some new clothes and other stuff instead... So yay... and I'm sure she will probably need help buying a strapless bra for dress too. She will probably come to me two weeks before wedding and tell me she has no money for it or shoes.

Yeah I usually get a lot of compliments on mine too. They became more defined I guess when I had braces and they moved my bottom jaw forward. It kinda of changed the way my face looked.

 

Argh, where are my manners?!
Congratulations on your engagement.

Seems like you carried a lot on your shoulders growing up. But if that helped shape a strong, responsible character in you, then all's well that ends well.

Ps: In my defense, my life isn't all about games. Motorcycles are my second passion, so I did get a driver's license and bought one for myself.

As for @Shooshy162's woes, I'm sorry I haven't said anything so far. I am only now learning what's like to not have money for things you want/need. You probably have a better mind on that matter than I. But I know you can do it.

 

Haha. Thank you!

For the longest time I was a really depressed person. I had a lot of stress growing up. My mom was always working and she came to me with all problems because she didn't have friends. Dad almost died several times on us. He had a heart attack, skin cancer, a brain tumor, and a really bad ulcer that made everything he drink go into his lungs and everything he ate got stuck. He went several days without drinking or eating before sucking it up and going to ER. So it was scary and I worried a lot. I knew money was an issue, so I worried about that. I was shy and had a lot of phobias so I didn't have friends. I was pretty alone in the world. Mom always thought I would be the one she ended up stuck with. No one thought I would be able to leave my room and have a normal life. But I got a job as a cashier and worked hard after graduating high school to be able to deal with life and people without having debilitating panic attacks. I got really good at hiding them because breaking down in front of a boss crying and panicking because they ask you to do something you have never done before is a little embarrassing. I moved out. Then they moved and let me take over the lot rent on their mobile home. So I had that all to myself but then dad quit his job so they moved back in with me. Haha. Then I moved with them when they moved to Oklahoma. I didn't want to stay behind alone. And the plan was get job move out. I got promoted to department manager at walmart, something I never thought I would be capable of. Then I saved a lot of money like yay back on my own again. But nope I got really sick. I didn't know what was wrong and working in the cooler and freezer I couldn't do it. I was getting dizzy and afraid I would pass out in there alone. So, I stepped down and asked to be moved back to electronics while I figured out what was wrong. First found out I had two abscessing teeth. Still no better after those were gone. So go for more tests. Find out I have a growth on gallbladder. So have surgery. Had to take time off work and lost everything I had been saving. So then I finally get back to work thinking everything is going to be ok. Nope, still having problems. Find out I have a hiatal hernia. I tried to stay at walmart but the constant lifting I couldn't do it anymore. I was constantly in pain, nauseous, and unable to eat. I had dropped down from 160 back to 120 because of this. Finally I went to Radio Shack but it was only part time. So hard to save money. Then my car died. So I had to get a new one and made it even more impossible. Finally though I met my fiance and he got a job two hours away so I moved in with him there. And I found a desk job 20 minutes away. So finally at 30 things are going a lot better. Haha. Just have a lot of debt to fix now. But at least I don't have to worry so much and I'm a lot happier person.

By the way, what type of motorcycle do you have? My dad drives a honda goldwing cruiser. I think it is like a 2008 maybe? Somewhere around there. He has another one but he didn't like it as much and didn't really drive it a lot so I forgot what it is.

 

Haha. Are they moving to my town? My internet is always lagging, freezing or just plain goes out. It is enough for Netflix and Amazon (most the time). I had to get Amazon because Doctor Who is no longer on Netflix. Amazon got the BBC contract.
Fortunately, I only have one child and he's still in high school, so I don't mind supporting him a while longer. At least, while he gets his associates, then he'll move out to get his bachelors and PHD. I don't mind, at least he has a goal and is going for it. (He wants to be a translator for the UN. It has a name, but I can't remember it) (He's currently working on his fourth language, and I can barely handle English)

 

Maybe? All the little towns here in Oklahoma only offer DSL. It is really poor and slow and they charge you at least 100 dollars a month for it. It is dumb. That is awesome he has that kind of drive and determination.

 

Quite a story you got. And I am familiar with more than I'd care to admit. I'm glad things are looking better for you and I appreciate your words of advice here. Not enough of those here if I am to be frank.

*whistle* a Gold Wing? No, I have nothing that great. Sadly not a lot of models make it to Brazil. I have a measly Yamaha Fazer 250cc. I wish I had money for more. After getting a new PC, I am aiming for a dragstar.

 

Nice. I use to want a honda rebel. I thought it was cute and it was smaller. But I would probably get myself killed. I do miss going on rides with dad though. He rides his bike all year except when there is ice. So back when I had no car he would give me rides to work and that really sucked in the middle of winter... But he has a dirt bike and I know how to shift, I drove an automatic for a very long time, but I can't get my head to switch my what hands and feet are doing to shift on the dirt bike and it kind of scared me a bit. Ever since my scooter crash in middle school I became a lot more cautious. Before that I didn't really have any fear. It wasn't even serious. I just got some nice road rash but still makes me weary now.

 

Oh, I'd love to share some road stories (such as how I fell to the ground on my second day with this bike ). But I can geek quite a lot and I don't want to turn this into "Motorcycle appreciation thread" (despite my wishes... >.>). Nice knowing someone who liked motorcycles too.

-edit-

Ok, just one more
Actually my passion for motorcycles came from games. So both of my favourite things in life are intrinsically linked. Games like Road Rash, Biker Mice from Mars and, most importantly, Full Throttle ignited that spark in me. Unfortunately when the time came to finally get my driver's license, my parents forbade me from getting a Type A license (that's the one you need to ride motorbikes in Brazil). It wasn't until I decided to strike out and live on my own that I finally got the right license and sold my old car for my first bike. Hell, to this day they still disapprove of my vehicle of choice. They also disapproved of video games ("too violent" they said. "Waste of time and my money" they said. Emphasis on my). Pretty much all that makes me who I am today. No wonder I became a pirate. It was the only way to enjoy all the culture that formed around this hobby of ours. To this day I thank the stars for the advent of p2p torrenting.

You'd be forgiven for thinking they hate me. In truth they probably don't. They are just displeased with what I became. "Tough luck" says I.

 

Haha. I got lucky my dad gaming too. And my mom loved computers. They were not nerdy people at all. But me and my siblings turned out to be super nerds from the combo of video games and computers. Looking at my dad you wouldn't think he liked games. He doesn't really play now though but use to have to fight him for time on them. Mom was into sports and beating people up as a kid. But she is really smart and her mom had computers for her business and mom learned to run them at a young age. She was teaching us really young as well to use DOS. But dad's favorite game was Need for Speed. I wanted to be like dad so much. I use to practice for hours on racing games trying to be as good as him. I don't ever really play them anymore. It isn't the same without playing with dad. I need to see if my sister still has the old need for speed on Playstation so we can play together again.

It is tough when parents disapprove of your choices. My dad was really controlling and strict and didn't like anything I did or anyone I dated. But now he has loosened up a lot. He sees that yeah I didn't always make the best choices but it led me to a really good place and I'm doing great in life now. He also really likes my fiance which is a first. He even cut his hair for him this weekend.

 

Let's face it, a Gold Wing is nothing more than a Honda with all the bells and whistles. And it's so bloody heavy that you can barely hold it at a stop light. Wish you lived closer, I just sold my Yamaha Virago 750 for $500. It needed a tune up, but it ran fine, just wanted the temptation gone. I was about to trade it in for an 1100 V-Star, but then I got a head injury and couldn't ride anymore.

 

Awww that sucks but at least you're ok. My brother use to race but he had an accident and broke his neck so he doesn't ride anymore.