Chat Tell Us Your Troubles Thread - advice & friendly chats

Like TvK, I've been having trouble sleeping a lot. My sleep schedule has been varying from going to sleep at 10pm from waking up at 6am and not going to sleep until 4am the next morning.. Mostly because I've been trying to think of what I'm going to do with my life. I don't have the will to do anything besides sit at my laptop. One thing that contributed to this was a mistake that I made with my ex which caused a break up. The rest is just being afraid of what's going to happen when I get out on my own. I don't like or trust a lot of people because of what happened in my childhood. Recently my doctor sent me to therapist because I was having reallly messed up thoughts of harming myself and others which was just horrible because instead of really trying to help me solve my problems I instantly got prescribed anti-depressants and that was pretty much the end of that. I've been sufering with depression pretty much my entire life but it's just been getting worse and worse and I've started having anxiety attacks and not being able to find a job doesn't help. I've just been going through a rough time lately. x.x

 

You should relax man. Think of it this way. You were lucky enough to actually get an interview!
That means that they're interested in you as a potential employee. I understand that it can be a stressful time, this job market is pretty rough now a days but just relax and use our instincts

 

I am fairly sure I put up the wall due to being the black sheep in the family, always the one to blame and hate. Continuously let down and have promised made to me broken. It all left a sour taste and made it hard to ever trust anyone in my family as most they did towards me was lie and give false hope. -The fact that I was bullied ever since I started school to the day I graduated did not help either, it made me feel small, useless and in the way. Pointless is a good word to describe how I felt. I will not go into details, tho.

And yes I do spend very much time inside, I have tried so many times to try and let people in, people I met when trying to get a job, when getting a weeks test on a job, or other smaller event. Those relations rarely hold over a month before any bonds between me and the other person is severed beyond mending.
I would love to go to the pub once in a while, but my economical balance is so low I can not even afford new clothes. I barely have enough for rent, food and other necessities. Right now, I have roughly 2-3euro in my bank account, that is it, until the end of the month. Yay.

About the job, yes, true. But I have been trying REALLY hard to get a job for a very- very long time, ever since I graduated, I have tried all kinds of applications. Anything from the mass send out of CVs to carefully reading up on each company and visit them in person/call them to see how the application is going etc. Nothing. Works. Unemployment rate where I live right now is somewhere between 35-40%(age 18-25). And no, it does not count people that go to school as unemployed. It does not help that I only have a university prepping education, but I am unable to study for various reason, wont go into detail about that either. But I can't study right now, or possibly ever. Bleh.

 

The family part i can relate to. Im the black sheep and my brother bully me yadda yadda. The trick is to ask them and get under there skin.If you make them cry and apologize then they mean no harm by there bulling... if they are doing it just to be dicks then they should burn get consoling to learn how to be a better parent

 

This is what they are doing and should have done to them, I am going to therapy now, which they know about, but can't care less about. And they know they are partly responsible.

 

Realize who you are, not what others want you to be. You can live your hole life trying to fulfill their hopes but never succeed at being happy, instead fulfill your hopes/dreams knowing and accepting that some people wont like it.
Life isn't a 100% success ticket, there's bound to be people who fail at things and those who excel. I find the journey to reach a dream more fulfilling than the result of the dream.
I was bullied up until high school when i realized that what they say doesn't necessarily define who i am, you define yourself through your journey through life.

 

I just got a haircut I didn't even want but hey, my family would hate me even more if I didn't, and I have now fallen into the deepest depression I've ever been in. And my family has completely ruinied my self esteem. Claiming I should be and look like everyone else, my interests are shit, I know too much history, I'm anti-social because I don't talk for five minutes, telling me I will never get a job unless it's a shitty one and they completely ruins my small dreams about what to work with.

I don't know anymore, is this even legal?

Knowthatfeelbro :c

 

I never ever go to a hairdresser/stylish myself, God damn this is the worst thing ever, last time I went there was because my sister took me there annnnddd because it was too hot to keep long hair (40 degrees in celsius? ...) other than that I never EVER get a haircut.
I'll just grow my hair long again, make sure they're healthy and I'll change their colour to spring green!
/random

And about the other stuff... don't let them bring you down, be yourself. Nobody has the right to tell you how you should live, nobody.

 

Dayum, 40C? I can't blame you, I would maybe had done the same, maybe (Thank god we don't get 40C here). xD Other than that, I would never had done it unless I faced a shitstorm of dimensions if I didn't cut my hair.
Lawl, I should start dying my hair by ever season, green in the summer, white in the winter etc. xD

Yeah, I'm trying, working on it. I love how they also tell me to be myself and don't live like anyone else (they do sometimes), and yet they are forcing me to get a haircut/what jobs I should get and so on and what my interests should be, so I could be like everyone else. Might still be far away, but the day I can afford to move out and they don't have a say, oh I can't wait.

 

I have anxiety and depression... my brain sometimes goes into shock and numb but when we went to the doctor we found out it was just anxiety disorder and.. yeah. Therapy never worked and almost every week at least once I get the same feeling. I'm 14 years old and school is the only thing STOPPING it. It's the only place the symptoms show.. I like it. Every second I check my heartbeat... checking if it's normal. I've had bad experiences with pets... I had 3 pet parrots before... 2 died from respiratory problems, one died in my hands, and the other my dog bit... The one I have now is lovely though... I just needed to vent... Life is horrible right now..
I have a list of symptoms:
Chest pain
Arm pain
Chills
brain thing (stabbing sensations and shock)
shivers
depression
shoulder pain
weight gain

I know I sound like a brat I just.. meh

 

Hey its okay man, what you're feeling is serious. Complaining about it s a normal reaction and it doesn't make you a brat. Have you considered Medication? I usually try my best to not suggest that to people, especially someone so young but the fact that you're getting chest and arm pains means it might help in some way.

 

I've been asking my parents but they don't think I should because.. "I might get worse symptoms"

 

I have to agree with them. Anti Depressants can often make you feel worse. I think you should at least explain to them the pains that you get and that if at all possible if you could maybe get an evaluation by a doctor or a psychologist

 

Mmk.. thanks

 

This week has been pretty alright for me, I'm kind of scared though. Usually when I'm having a good week or well, a good anything it always comes to bite me in the ass with something far worse.

 

First off; I'd like to formally thank you for the attention, and understanding you have given to our fellow forum go-ers. Kindness is a rarity these days (sadly), and it's nice to see it being demonstrated so effectively.

As I came here to say, though, I have a few things of my own to share. I'm merely sharing however, so, while I appreciate the worry, I'm not looking for advice.
(Some of this is reiterated from my past posts. Mild Language)

I, too, have a serious case of depression, with many of the side-effects tackled on to boot. One of which, is not a side effect, but more of a multiplier, so to speak. I am an incredibly emotional man, and I have no fears of expressing them to the public, whether it's something heart-wrenching, or something that makes you feel like you'll drown in your own tears. Because of this, insults and prejudice are more severe than they normally would be. Not to mention the labeling. Faggot, Gay, etc. Not that there is anything wrong with homosexuality, which there isn't, but being mislabeled is painful for anyone. My only partner, so far, was fairly recent, and didn't last long. Only about a month and a half. I thought I could tell her anything, I thought I actually meant something to her, I thought... that someone cared about me. All of which were false. She has not said a single word to me since we broke up. I don't know what I expected, honestly. I knew it wouldn't last long, you know, happiness. I had never felt it before*, no exaggerations, and it felt great. I felt alive. It wasn't perfect, however. I still had the nagging feeling that something would go wrong. Every day, lying in bed, I would hope for it to last as long as possible. I didn't want to go back. I had lost so many things in such a short amount of time. She would barely speak to me in our final days, and it made me feel on edge. One night, my father came home, and insulted me like he always does. I couldn't take being pushed around anymore, so I fled from home to go walking, hopefully so I could find a bridge or something similar. My father called the police on me, and when they found me, the fucking pigs, they took me back to the station so a specially trained pile of mucus... I mean counselor, would berate me, treat me like some idiotic animal, and would toy with my emotions. The things that spewed from her vile mouth just kept reinforcing the same "I own you." traditions that authority is known for. My emotions got out of control, anger fusing with confusion, sadness fusing with frustration. I couldn't just sit there and keep taking the flak, with no way for my emotions to release, so I got up in a blind fit of sadness, and threw a chair across the room, denting the leg. I got community service, for a chair. Unbelievable, right? There's more. I had to go to a mental clinic for the night, all the while, I'm still awake from two days prior. No sleep, a horrendous day just happened to me, and my girlfriend left me. I'm lying in stones they called beds that night, searching desperately for anything that could kill me. I was even considering drowning myself in the sink. I was going crazy, all the result of others. They did that to me. I just wanted to be happy, but this is what they did to me. What kind of world do we live in where the purest voices, have the softest tones? I came home, and nothing changed. They still expected me to do school work, even though I had never done it to begin with, and still they think I'm the one with issues. I'm sick of being treated like a child, but that's what's so ironic about it. Children are those often associated with reliance and dependence, I am no child, but I'm entirely dependent on others. I don't have the drive, the confidence, nor the energy to do anything for myself. What little solace I find, is in video games. So I live everyday incredibly carefully, so as to not upset myself. I can't enjoy most things, but what I can, is very limited and usually bad for me. I know that day will come... the point of no return. The point where it is impossible to advance my life. The point where I have to do what must be done. And oh, do I dread the day.




*But oh god was that first kiss magical.

 

I apologize for replying so late. I needed to take a moment and let what you said sink in so that I could reply with a thoughtful and (hopefully) helpful way.

Don't be hesitant to be emotional. It's something a lot of us take for granted and it should be expressed. It sucks that your SO wasn't willing to accept that part of you. It's not their fault and it's certainly not your fault either, trust me when i tell you that you'll find someone that finds your overly emotional state very endearing. You're still so young and you're in that awkward stage in life where you realize that life isn't all about playing and having fun and that it turns out most if it is shit. And what's worse is that you have depression which just amplifies that feeling. You need an outlet for all these emotions you're feeling. Take up an instrument or maybe a sport or draw and paint. It's very healthy to outsource that energy into something productive. But what I think you need the MOST is friends, people who understand you and don't judge you for how you were born. That's why we're here man. To lend a helping hand and just generally listen. Don't even worry about your future right now, it's really hard to see yourself in 5 years let alone 10 years. You've got all the time in the world to think about your life and what you want to do with it

 

Today was the first time I used a razor on myself. I felt nothing, no pain, no regret, no sadness nor remorse. Nothing inside, nothing outside, just dust from remnant emotions, lost and forgotten. Everything was blank, -is blank, worth nothing, less than nothing, all void, pointless.
I am afraid I am slipping too far, no real help have been given even after calling a emergency line several times. Pleads for help go unanswered, now I feel like nothing, less than nothing- Void, forgotten. Alone.
Even so, I hold on, why do I hold on? I do not know, I might silently wish something else, something more, but what that is I cannot see with my eyes nor with my thoughts. Hidden, deep down where I can not look, a reason keeps me here, suffering, suffocating, slowly losing even that. For what, I do not understand... Don't know what to do, if anything can be done, why even anything can be done. I feel beyond hope, falling, slowly. Comforting silence and cold embraces my mind. Why am -I- fated such a cursed existence. I wish I never was born.
Now I lie here, on the cliff of my sanity looking up on the sky. Why did I have to suffer like this? Was I born this way? Then what was the point in living this long. Is 'God' punishing me? For what that would be I do not know.
What I know is that I feel nothing, emotionless.

Am I even human?

 

Dude you seriously need to find help. I'm sorry the emergency hotline wasn't very helpful but you need to talk to somebody about this. A friend, a family member ,anybody. It's really unhealthy that you cut and it's even unhealthier that your thought process is like this.

 

I have been to the hospital aswell, no help is given, "not serious", they say. As for speaking with someone, asking for help, getting support is all in vain. As I mentionen in my previous post, I am the 'black sheep' of the family, they care less of my state than that of their plastic plants plastering their windows for strangers to view. Friends are foreign for me, non left, non to find. No motivation to seek contact with others, no place to meet.
It all feels so pointless, so barren, so- lost. To try and seek help that is.