Chat Tell Us Your Troubles Thread - advice & friendly chats

I can't wait till I can get a job and get going.

 

I don't know how old you are, but if you can legally get a part time job, my advice for you is to consider doing so. It may take a heavier toll on your mind, after all a job is yet another pile of stress, but on the other hand, getting a bit more independent from your folks can lift a huge weight from your shoulders. That and it lets you legitimately do what you want and what you need without their interference or even their knowledge if the former is inevitable.

 

So, you're able to have online friends, right? That means you have social skills. You are able to express yourself over the internet, or through words. Try to build on that, and get back to where you have offline friends as well.

If you think about it, having offline friends is the hardest thing. You have to physically maintain yourself (can't go out without showering for a week, that doesn't go over well), you have to pick up on social cues (Oh, sad story, better stop laughing about that awesome joke), you have to find people in your general area that you connect with (freaking hard), and you have to actually meet these people, form a bond, and continue to meet these people.

Anyway, take the skills you've got, work on the ones you don't, and see if you can't build up your confidence and get over the awkwardness. When you believe you have things worth saying, you will find social outings a lot easier to handle.

For the anger issues, try to find an activity that calms you down, and do that every time after you get really angry. If possible, try to find an activity that can help you calm down faster, and try to think of it or do that while you're actively angry. Also, find ways to vent your anger that don't involve dogs, irishmen, or drinking. Maybe you will become the a football player, because you kick that !@$* ball every single day. Or maybe you take up running as a way to get outside yet still be by yourself. I've found that exercise REALLY helps me calm down and get rid of stress, even though I end up being tired afterwards.

 

The end part made me laugh, thank you.

 

I feel like asking you people how are you doing today. I don't have anything to get out of my chest today but would like to get my finger on your metaphorical pulses to see what is it like.

 

Interviews, I hate 'em. I'm a computer scientist, darnit, not a salesperson. And I hate selling myself, since it's just word games and similar to politics.

"Stay on message" and only say what you want to say, regardless of what you think would be useful information (because it could be interpreted negatively!) The worst part is that you know the other side is doing the exact same thing, trying to hide/misdirect from the things that would be useful information and only trying to say "I'm perfect, but don't look over there".

Bleh.

 

Same here. And there's a chance I'll do one soon.
Other than that, I just skipped work today... Was way too tired to go there. Luckily I am within my power to do so for now.

 

Struggling to not lose another friend because I can't help but have my display of caring come off to them as being very annoying, clingy, a general pain in the ass.

Already had one person Iiked block me because I was being a sycophant, just so hard for me not to when I care...

 

One of the hardest things to do in life is to "not care too much", in a sense. When I REALLY care about someone or something, I tend to think about it a lot and overanalyze it and pretty much stifle it. In a way, you have to care about it but also learn to control it, so that you don't scare off the other person or put so much pressure on yourself that you screw up the thing.

Especially in interviews and girlfriends, because you have no idea what the other people are thinking, and you could think it went awesome and they can't wait to leave. Or you could think it was a complete disaster and then they call back asking for another meeting.

Sometimes, I think life just doesn't want us to get too comfortable.

While that's cool that you can do that, try to wean yourself off of it. Don't get so comfortable with the job and the flexibility that you become lazy or unmotivated. My current place has flex time, which means as long as you work 40+ hours a week they don't care when it is. Unfortunately, I've noticed myself coming in later and later and just losing motivation to do anything, in general.

It's a slippery slope!

 

This was more the case of "I worked on weekends so I can pick any other day off".
But I hear you. My job is like that as well.

 

My head is a mess at the moment.

Lately I've been focusing a lot more on my school work, since I'm now in Year 10, and my subjects now need to be completed to a high standard to pass SACE (South Australian Certificate of Education - pretty much, I need it if I want to get into university). I've basically stopped thinking about the girl I like in general, but I still feel conflicted about it. I get the feelings and thoughts about her that you would expect a teenage boy would get, but I'm getting these randoms feelings of loathing. I can't really find an explanation for this. I'm also getting thoughts such as 'why am I bothering to do this?' and 'what am I wasting my time with her for'?

Help . . . ?

 

could just be some cognitive dissonance at work
if you're simultaneously trying to forget about her and also still into her your feelings could react in odd ways.

 

Im guessing you are just getting the regular, perfectly normal hormonal responses.

Loves a cocktail of fell-good drugs, accompanied by mood swings and romantic bullshit, its normal if you fancy her, but trying to move on.

 

I don't know if a public forum is the best way to speak of one's problems. I mean, softwares like skype appear much more appropriate to me.

 

Granted, it is exposure of a level one might not be comfortable with, but I see that as a positive. Being able to talk about your problems openly is a huge step towards overcoming them IMO.

Besides, you don't hand over your skype contact to just anybody, do you? This is a public forum, yes, but we are largely anonymous here. Those who have personal details on their profile did so out of their own volition. A skype contact, however, might be another story...

 

Anonymity is something everyone here experiences, as we trully do not reveal whom we really are, lest we wish to.

We can say whatever we wish, so long as nobody we trully know visits these forums, and im to guess that rarely happens,if at all.

As such, people are much more free to say whetever they need/want, without fear of getting "caught" or judged by people they interact every day.

Plus,its a great way to vent out frustrations, without harming ourselves in this social world.One word or sentence, and you might be socialy dead.

 

Yeah, you may be right. I'm not really comfortable with it though.

 

Its perfectly fine if you don't, but if ever you need to blow off some steam or anything of that kind, we will be around.

 

Quiet around here.

 

Just give it some time. Misery loves to visit every so often...