Chat Tell Us Your Troubles Thread - advice & friendly chats

Thanks for the tips

If you are suggestion gaming with friends in order to relax my mind. Euro Truck Sim 2 does that almost hypnotizingly well for me, especially if you put up some music while driving around Europe. In fact, I might very well get into a "just one more delivery"-mood
I'm trying to sleep at the hours I normally sleep (as of writing this, this is a bit later than usual. But it's the first time in some time).
I'm already "openly documenting" what to do on a whiteboard

 

I know I already posted recently. I just wanted to give a little update on myself. Because I kind of want some feed back.
I haven't been in a real relationship with anyone. I had one and that ended badly, not due to either end. Just and odd combo.
Iv'e been finally gained the nerve to attempt to ask this girl out. I know her a little bit already, definitely not in the friendzone. She's cute, funny, and I think she has a good family back ground. Today I was doing some sizing up, trying to figure out how to do it. I learned from a friend after I confided in her that she has turned down 3 dudes, and is probably moving back to Italy next year. She is still in touch with one of her Ex's that lives their.
If I do try I have a strong feeling with the evidence presented that I would be turned down.
Also I wanted to ask, do you guys have any suggestions on how too meet new people in a small town? Our town is quiet, has no clubs, and I go to a school that has no activity.
I have been very lonely the last few years and been trying to reach out, which has ended empty handed.
Thanks mates.

 

Literally all you need to do to meet a person is to talk to them. Really, that's it. As for finding any people who would be worthy of friendship, I have no freaking clue. I'm in the same boat there.
And as for "this girl," you have a 0% chance if you don't ask at all, but you have a much greater chance if you do ask. So just ask her before your chance is gone. A missed chance is far worse than a failed chance in these situations.

 

Talking to people isn't a big deal. I just can't seem to meet people due to lack of opportunities to do so.
As for the girl, I am not sure if it's worth it to ask. It may ruin a potential relationship. With the odds at several guys asking her out for the whole year and 0 got an opportunity. I am still not sure. I appreciate the feedback though still considering it.

 

Regarding the subject of Tulpas. It sounds really interesting to me and I would also like to discuss this more in a separate thread.

 

That is really sooo sweet, seriously I'd love to have you as friend!​

A good way to get them is start with a simple facebook chat, or whatsapp (it's quite popular in europe).. That's how I got to know my boyfriend.
And trust me, I had a time I rejected a looooot of guys, not because they weren't ''good enough'' but only cause I know the difference when someone wants you for your body, or your personality. Though that, my boyfriend doesn't have any friends either, he's pretty anti social.. but he's the most wonderful friend I've ever had.

Small town? Been there as well. Good thing to do is sports, like jogging. Even if you see people passing by they'll recognize you after a while and from simple greeting it could be a ''how are you'' pretty fast. If you're not into sports then just go for walks, or anything outside really. People are everywhere and if you just do a task somewhere regularly you'll find someone who'd like to join you.
​

Last thing.. someone from your class. Could be weird the first time, but I'm sure there's someone in your school who likes same stuff as you do. Smalltalk with them, ask them how they are and about something you know they like. People love attention.

Goooooodluck! ​

 

Remember back whe I said I punched a guy?
School reported it to the police and theres a substantial chance charges might be pressed.
Yaaaaay.

 

How hard did you punch him? That's ridiculous.

 

Oh, finally. I now know the name of another of my woes. Avolition. I've seen it described here before, so I hope this word may benefit some of you as well.

I hope you have a good enough lawyer.

 

Thank you, these are good tips. Only thing is she doesn't use facebook. :\ Sadly.
The only real chance I think I may have is today to ask her out.
I find a womans incite useful though. Thank you.

I suggest you fight it in court. If he has been harassing you for a long time and physically assaulting you then you should win. This ass hole needs to know his place.

 

I live in Sweden, things are a little different here when it comes to court,pressing charges andetc.

 

Is there anything you can do? If not that's despicable.

 

It can't be much worse than the US's system for this.

 

Hopefully "affluenza" is not a legally-acceptable disability in Sweden.

At least in the US, anyone can press charges for anything (A judge sued a dry cleaners for $70k because he claims they lost his pants. One pair of pants.) but that does not mean they will win. Unfortunately, it means that both parties must spend a lot of money in legal fees and also spend a lot of time preparing for the case and appearing/testifying in the case itself.

I think what you should do is start writing down all the things he's done/said to you, all the people he's coerced into bullying you as well, and also touch base with some friends or teachers that will testify on your behalf that the other person has been saying incredibly nasty things to you. This part will be hard to do, because most people are very unwilling to appear in court, and teachers may have to worry about their job security if they testify against a student.

You can also start thinking about the evidence he will present (likely just "he punched me!"), or the people that will appear and testify for the accuser that will claim he did nothing wrong. Gather evidence against them, such as "They're his friends, of course they will say he does no wrong." Or, get a list of people that can testify that his group of friends behaves the same way as him, etc...

If charges are filed, you will need evidence for why you did what you did, even if it is circumstantial. Build the best case you can, and be prepared to attack his case. Yes, this is a ton of crap that you should not have to go through. Unfortunately, you may not have a choice except to go through it. Also talk to the principal or the school counselor, and be prepared to request that they testify in the court, if there have been any complaints against the person accusing you.

 

If possible you might want to confront the bully about this. But make sure you have voice recording on that way if he says anything that can be used against him it won't be a he said she said thing and you'll have hard proof.

 

I'm not a lawyer or anyone that deals with legal stuff, but I think this would not be a good move. If charges are being filed, it isn't the bully doing this. It's his family or his family's accountant, or their paid-hourly lawyer.

I would actually recommend having NO contact at all with the bully, because they could try to paint YOU as the bully, and say "You tried to intimidate him into not filing charges!" Just stay away, and if he ever comes near you, make sure you immediately leave the area OR get someone there that can vouch that you didn't do anything bully-ish or illegal.

If they're going to press charges because their cowardly bully child got punched, then I highly suspect that they're willing to do many unethical things (including lying) to try and be more successful at being terrible human beings.

 

If anything none of us here know much about law so...tread lightly Blackleaf

 

Weekly How are you question?:
So I thought it would be a great Idea to have a weekly question asking everyone how they are, how their week has been and how it seems it's going to turn out.
So how is everyone? How's work? School? Home Life this week? Anything planned? Anything you did?

 

If Saturday is technically the end of this week, & Sunday the beginning of the next... and on a 1-5 scale; 1 = disaster, 5 = pure joyful awesomeness...

This week: 2/5 meh...
Daughter hurt her leg, (not broken) but she is in a full leg brace & crutches, probably need them till the end of next week.
Personally, I'm on a very low swing... feeling little of anything... and not much has made me happy, or lasted for more than seconds.

Next week: 3 - 4/5 (I'm being very optimistic)
Sunday is ma' birfday, no plans... I will be old.
Monday, there will be a family graduation party for my son & 2 nephews. (I told you I'm old.)
I foresee cake in my future... a like cake.

 

Lots of school work but it is going forward. One more week and then the worse will be over for the spring.
My father came over and visited me, it was nice