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Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by BloodyFingers, Oct 22, 2013.
Goddamnit I already know it's gonna be one of those nights...
I don't know why, but that reminds me one forum section for one modification for old game I'd saw few years ago...
There was a guy on this forum, who stated, that he want to kill himself. but doesn't know how. People there tried to talk about this matter, and offered him some help, how to deal with depression and suicidal tendency. Then, a creator of (in)famous modification joined into the 'debate' and encouraged this guy to kill himself; with what, where, when, how... such bulls**t. He got many hating comments and appeales to stop encouraging others to kill themselfs.
Then this depressed guy vanished from that forum. He didn't responded to any comments or questions, and people assumed that he ended his life. Man, who posted ideas about how to commit suicide, later stated, that those ideas was just a joke, he wasn't serious, and these 'jokes' was quite normal in his society, but no one believed him. He was banned from this forum afterwards.
Some say it was a prank, that those two were friends and it was all staged, but majority of other people think that it was real and that guy suffered from serious depression, which forced him to reach the ultimate end. The creator of (in)famous modification was (is) considered as racist, sexist and total a**hole, who using real-life gore and violence as inspiration for his work
Take a free hug
So, are you doing ok there?
nothing happened here, I see.
No news is good news?
Spent most of the day drunk on the floor and vomitting. Than had another bad episode from CSA trauma. Than tried to kill myself again. Then my man suddenly pops up and tells me through text that he's abandoned me for another woman... and can't even look me in the eyes and tell me why face to face.
I built my life around this man and accepted him as family. Deeply trusted and loyal to him for 6 years. Poof, gone.
All the men in my family are unemployed and/or looking for new jobs, my parents are now getting on welfare medical as well.
Called up my aunt sobbing for help and she picked me up and I confided in her, which helped a lot, and then we went for cold treat. I now have a bed to sleep on, she gave me one. Some art paper and a book too.
Ah, and had my first cigarette. And given up on therapy and support groups, just want family instead...
Sorry to be a downer.
It's okay to be a downer when you're suffering, especially in this thread. Don't give up, you can get through this.
So you tried to kill yourself? Again?
Geez Kittens... that's not something anyone here can help you with... Is there even anything any of us could say that would stop you from repeatedly attempting to end your own life?
I'm glad you could find aid with your aunt. If your family can help, why didn't they do so earlier? Your suffering isn't anything new, it seems.
Well, there are people who can help her with that. Namely people who tried to do the same.
I hate being cold like this, but it just narrows down to bracing yourself and going on, no matter how painful it is.
Suicide is not painful. After you bled a lot, you kinda stop feeling any pain. It's an easy way out - a coward's way out - and brutally hurts those who care for you, even those you didn't know cared for you.
Don't be a coward, BigEaredKittens. Endure. One day you will find what you wish for.
My aunt has worked in mental health for a long time. She retired now, but it not the same as me telling my brother and such. I haven't confided in my whole family, tho I'm sure they're aware something wrong.
Also reuniting with an older childhood friend. I had a much needed visit with her today for around three hours. Did good for mind. She is great person.
I just here to vent life. Not expecting anyone ot have any answers. I appreciate either way.
I am sick of the hurting and violence to self. Need to build life again.
Thank for words.
I wish I was nearby and offered more than words.
My girlfriend broke up with me, she was probably my first true love, but she moved to a city an hour away and with her absence she started to change so very much. She went to live with her mentally unstable mother, but she, herself also suffers from manic depression and depression in general. I knew it was a bad idea but tried to be supportive either way. She became very distant and her vocabulary started to change, you started hanging out with her druggy friends and gang members and she completely lost herself. She called me an over controlling asshole because I stressed the importance that she didn't do drugs or drink, that I wanted her to have a future and to live a good life. I don't want to lose myself in delusion thinking I was perfect, because nobody is and she even pointed out areas where I went wrong, but she started treating me like shit saying she never actually loved me and started calling me a "pussy" because I was smart enough to stay away from the things that can ruin my future. There is just so much wrong.
She even went as far to have one of her gang friends threaten to jump me in my town (I'm not afraid of this), what honestly bothers me is how real everything felt before she changed and apart of me misses here even though she has lost herself. She is so bad for me and in generally is such a terrible person, she used to be so sweet and innocent, I just wish she could have followed the right path... It probably induces some sort of depression on me. I'm starting to realize what kind of world this really is and how messed up some people are. It kind of scares me but I realize everything is pretty much insignificant anyways.
I've blocked her on everything and her gang friend as well. I feel kind of empty and alone in this world like everyone is fake and that I can't trust anyone. What makes it worse is that I'm currently living in a small town that is occupied by nothing but teens who are addicted to some sort of drug and are generally fake. My intellect precedes majority if not all the people/students in this town and I feel like I can't find a real friend. I literally don't have any friends, and all I want at this point is for someone to hold me and accept me. I know it probably isn't a good idea, but apart of me just wants to jump into another relationship to achieve that, but majority of the girls I know are taken and I'm very picky with who I date. It just so figures that most people I date end up scarring me in some way in the end. All girls I date happen to be depressed and in the end they lose their temper and everything goes down hill. This last one messed with me pretty bad, I fell to hard to even properly defend myself or propose a counter argument whenever they tried to make me seem like a terrible person. I just buckled and basically accepted it, but I'm not a bad person. I've made mistakes for sure and lost how I thought for awhile, but I'm glad I've noticed. I just want a safe place to talk about my issues I guess. If I mention anything in this town it spreads like wild fire and just bites me later. Thanks for listening I guess...
I mean I never hit her, called her names, yelled at her, or anything. I always tried to be sweet to her and whenever we would argue I would say things that could have offense taken to it, but I never actively meant for it to hurt her so in general I didn't mean it that way but I feel like apart of me did subconsciously.
That's what the thread is for, f you need to talk there are plenty of people here who will be sure to help. If you worry that the people around you are fake, I'm sorry that I can't help because that is what the world is like. If you trusted the world to be a nice place then obviously you are too good for it.
I have always assumed that everyone has a reason for the things they do and the reason for them and doing so makes sense for them and that nobody was truly malicious. That everyone has a logical purpose for everything they did because nobody could accept being malicious. I always figured everyone is fake in public to fit in, but alone they are very much real and have their own beliefs on what is right and wrong in this world. I can't associate with people who don't show me their real side.
But to gain my trust and tell me it was a lie later only adds to the barrier of trust. If somebody is real with me, I'll be real with them. I was being real when someone was apparently being fake. Even after they told me that, I couldn't believe it because of how real it felt.
Some of the most real things you could ever know will be fake and some things you hope can never be real most certainly are. All you can do is choose what to believe and to not fall too hard when you are disappointed.
So after being threatened by some individual obviously at the command of my Ex, I ran a sort of background check on him and found out quite a bit.
I know his full name, his phone numbers, where he went to school, the names of his family members, his fascination with the Crips, his race, eye color, hair color, general living location, age range, height range, the drugs he's addicted to or takes part in, he may have a warrant out for his arrest, some people he's associated with and his nicknames as well as a few other things.
Now I have all this information, and his phone number, what should I do about that. He threatened to come to where I live and jump me lmao, I could easily dispatch him with a gun, but I'm not a murderer. I'm not afraid of his presence, he appears to be a juvenile delinquent, wanna be Crips. The message he sent me had an obsessive use of the letter "K" and mostly broken English, he threatened me because of my Ex. I don't exactly want to take his shit. Apart of me just wants to reply back and talk to him to get to know him more.
Threaten to call the cops on him next time he sends a message, then actually do.
Probably shouldn't give time with him, he'll just make trouble and fool of himself. Seeing as he's not a real gang member he should be easy to deal with if he tries or does anything.
Please don't start that. I've been smoking for 38 years. I wish I could go back in time to slap myself silly when I smoked my first one. The problem is, I don't want to quit now. Even though I know it's killing me. I can feel it. Take charge of your life, don't let a cigarette control you...and it will.
I know you posted this some time ago, but I've been on a hiatus. Now I'm back (some what)