Chat Tell Us Your Troubles Thread - advice & friendly chats

Don't worry, this is a place to babble about our troubles. And I sort of deleted the post you replied to because I thought it was weird, so I apologize.
Well, considering I live in Brazil, no. It is quite rare indeed. Even among locals (I am not from this city I am living in), she stands out like a sore thumb.

I was just entertaining a silly thought out loud, forgive me. I wasn't seriously considering you and her are the same person, that would be too much of a coincidence.
In any case, I can sympathize a little with autism. My brother has some form ofi t, and for a long time people suspected I had it too (including myself). While I am outspoken when I have to, it is not easy for me to look someone in the eyes and when I am among strangers I almost never speak unless spoken to. It is very hard for me to interact with people I don't know. Whether that is due to my upbringing or some other factor, I am not sure.

And speaking of hairdos, my mother did me a solid and ruined the relaxation I did in mine. Never letting her touch it again...

 

No need to apologise, I am from the UK, we tend to have very pale skin as rule here because our climate is chaotically temperate, to say the least, I think the problem is people only associate certain hair colours with certain parameters and are shocked or don't understand some of the less occurring combinations. Myself I didn't mind looking different, however now I know why it unnerved me and made me anxious when people used to come and stare intently at my eyes, I know they were looking to see if they were pink, but Autistic people tend to find direct eye contact uncomfortable. On an unrelated note I sincerely hope that you come to a satisfactory result with your bike, I haven't commented as I know, nothing about it, and truthfully.....colour would be more important to me than any other factor. I am a bit of a girl....

 

Thanks. That matter is solved, for better or worse. And yes, the colour of that other bike put me off. Black on black is how I roll

 

I'm glad you made your choice, and I hope it turns out to be what you want. Just as an afterthought, My 750 Virago was a '95. And it ran very well. I had a semi barrel down on me once on the Interstate and I had to accelerate to 95mph just to get out of the way so I could let him pass. Which it did without a hitch. I found that a Virago is like a Toyota. You take care of it, and it will take care of you. The only thing bad about it was that it was light. In the constant wind that is up here, I was being knocked around like a rag doll. Which is why I was going to trade it in for an 1100 V-Star (before my concussion and couldn't ride anymore)

 

Oh, please! I know Virago was the better motorcycle. I am already having buyer's remorse as it is. But really, it's not that I wouldn't take good care of it, it's that I can't afford to take good care of it, being poor and all... I don't think I could give it the care it deserved.

 

she used to dye them with kool aid on the weekends lol. was several years ago now though. she got bored of them after around 6 years.
[edit]
i actually totally forgot till now but she initially had them done in china lmao. around 1997 iirc. the chinese hair dressers had no fucking clue what they were so she printed out a ton of pictures and got one of her coworkers to explain the (extremely tedious) process in chinese and it was like 7 hours of us sitting in this little corner hairdressers with 4 gossiping chinese women dreadlocking my mom's hair lmfao

back to your regularly scheduled programming >>

 

*programs a thing*

 

well i'm going to have a hard night trying to sleep (sorry i have VERY crude humor) well, I have only one thing to suggest as i feel very ill to my stomach after reading this, i was at a point of depression too (a very big one might i add) and i was given a grace (please dont read the rest of this if you are offended by religeon) i found my peace witch christianity, google map it, there is probobly a christian church near you, go down there, talk to the pastor, nomatter what you did or who you are, you will be given forgiveness, you can find a way to reverse your problems, be blessed, it is probobly the demon on confusion dwelling inside of you, go and get it rebuked

*ahem* well, lets hope you can look at the desiese rationally, to prevent harm out of anger, (yikes, especially with a disobediant toddler) *no ment to be mean, i just look at things very crudely, perhaps its a problem i have*

 

You know, suicide has crossed my mind more times than I care to mention. But then I remember that I need a functioning brain in order to appreciate any sort of of relief a suicide might provide me. And that's kind of a pickle since dying means losing a functional brain and all.
If you believe in the afterlife, that's another story. But you know, most beliefs that involve life after death also involves hell. And they are portrayed as worse than anything life can throw at you. In fact, some believe hell is the worst moments of your life in an infinite loop. Sounds counterproductive if getting away from that is your goal. Furthermore, if you are catholic, suicide is a ticket straight to hell, no matter what you did before. I am sure some other religions have strict rules to avoid roasting there. Killing oneself for nothing or selfish reasons isn't among those...

Also, that is kind of a line you can't go back once you cross it. You have a chance to do something about your problems in life. In death? So far we have no reliable proof of anything concerning second chances there.

 

No I don't think you are being at all mean (smiles), Autism isn't a disease it's a social and communication disorder, simplistically a difference in how our brains are wired, it's also a spectrum disorder so can vary in how it overall affects your life. One thing to note is that "disobedience" isn't really a term that can be applied to any Autistic child as rules are largely dependent on social convention, culture, and are so mercurial that due to the nature of the disorder are very hard for them to grasp. Often such rules are not based on logic but on emotion and how to be socially acceptable, again concepts that Autistic children have great difficulty with. Laws on the other hand rarely change and you will find most Autistic adults live by them to the letter, as routine and order very much rule our lives.

However for all the negatives, there are many MANY positives to having this disorder, my son, for instance, is without any form of hate for difference or diversity, these again are social constructs, Jack sees all as "human" and "humans" to him are friends, people like himself. He doesn't see his differences because to him EVERONE is different. I wish the world saw him the same way, sadly we are often asked to leave restaurants and playgrounds as his motor twitches and involuntary vocalizations disturb others.

Traditionally the U.K doesn't have very good policies for the education or treatment of those with SEN needs which is why I chose to retrain, my thinking being I could sit on my arse as a parent and whinge about injustice, or get off my arse get into the system and try and advocate, I chose the latter.

Your Mum is cool, I always am pleased when I see people who embrace creativity in the way they look, to express their individualism. I also used to like the endless hours sitting in the hairdressers while they platted them in, you hear all sorts, some of the things they talk about....(blush)

 

Sometimes it feels like no-one else actually understands what Autism is, but this proves otherwise.

 

Most people who attempt suicide say they're overwhelmed with regret.

Those who try again are simply not sound of mind and need to be given an opportunity to find sanity and solace again.

It saddens me how many still go through with it, maybe that should send a message to the world that the way we live today, is not right.

 

Seriously something is deeply wrong with society if it drives such an ungodly large number of people to seek the ultimate escape.

I don't want to bring children into a world where kys (kill yourself) is a frequently used term, social justice warriors fight not for equality but balance heavily in their favor.

Where there's just so much horrible acts being committed everywhere daily, even in my town that almost everybody has to engage in some form of escapism to see only the good.

While you may not able to dodge a bullet, with your eyes and ears covered you stand but a slim chance at even crossing a street in safety.

 

It has crossed my mind too after my parents divorced and... school stress stuff(?) "It feels like the world hates me and wants me to disappear. It feels like the universe is giving me the middle finger..." But then I remembered a quote from Timon in the Lion King "If the world turns it's back on you, you turn your back on the world." and I did that. If everything wants you to disappear, you're proving that you're stronger by simply continuing to exist. I think my view on life in general has been more pessimistic, but it certainly helped me get through those bad times.

 

It's been a long time since I've had the luxury of someone to really truly talk with and feel at home with it, lately I've just kept repeating "how are you" hoping something happens.

I just.. Its hard to describe how alone I feel but I also feel like disconnecting myself from most of the world.

 

i find myself repeating that as well!
sometimes i wanna have a nice chat with friends about nice things like foxes but i only ever end up writing "Hello" and "How are you?"

 

For the record, the lack of a gaming pc has kept me away from steam. So if anyone tried to reach me there, I apologize.

 

I have a question for you.

You say suicide is pointless because it's escaping the pain for nothing.

What if oblivion is my intention?

 

Is that what you took from my post? That suicide is escaping the pain for nothing?

No, my friend. No matter the reason, every ability to rationalize, feel and desire you have will rot along with your brain. Whatever reasons you may have for wanting oblivion is irrelevant. You won't have it. Because you won't have a functioning brain to "experience" oblivion. The last thing you will ever feel, perceive or think about is the thing that kills you. No relief, no catharsis. Just whatever it is that drove you to that point...

 

And if any of the afterlife experience is true.... oblivion would seem like a welcomed relief from what could actually be a very bad, long experience.

Something I don't get with suicidal thinking... is why? Why would I give that much power to anyone/thing? Power over my mood, over my experiences, over my life? Perhaps I'm just too hard headed... but I don't like being told what to do or how to act/feel. I'll do my own thing, and give the one bird salute to those who want to claim otherwise.

Good lord, I am getting old and senile, aren't I?