Shakespere Orchards - "Quality & Variety, Lumber and Saplings"

Discussion in 'Corporations Archive' started by Jety Lefr, Apr 19, 2014.

  1. Jety Lefr

    Jety Lefr Pangalactic Porcupine

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    Shakespeare Orchards® is a Forestry Business, providing "Quality & Variety, Lumber and Saplings" as the company puts it.

    Strait out of the employee brochure's "did you know?" section, anyone can point out that Shakespere Orchards is the finest provider of lumber and rare trees anywhere near you.
    • "Nothing but the most exotic, dangerous, fragrant, and impossible wood in the universe."
    • "Remember. Shakespere Orchards is the best choice. Shakespere Orchards is the only choice."
    • "All regular products are home grown in tenderly handled orchards on the company Planet."
    • "All specialty and novelty products are raised on sister planets in Shakespere's solar system."
    • "Smile when discussing business in person and over the phone. A smiling employee is an employed employee."
    • "Shakespere Orchards never turns down a customer that pays in cash."
    The company sells to anyone with the money and encourages no worrying over who's benefiting from their services. The company does not provide transportation of goods without an expensive premium fee that no one has ever wanted to pay for.

    .................................................................................................................................................
    General Abraham Yacht VI - President, Owner, Totalitarian Ruler of Planet Shakespere. (user: Jety Lefr)
    "Our great leader General Yacht is a decorated war hero who famously sacrificed the entire 45th Primate Battalion at the Battle of Banana
    Gulf. In his retirement he was appointed lordship over a small solar system which houses our home Planet Shakespere. General Yacht soon grew a passion for Dendrology and agriculture, and utilized his great intellect to transform what was once a poisonous wasteland into a thriving foresting industry. Through years of dedication and free time, General Yacht terraformed Shakespere into the Massive Orchard it is today.
    Thus began an era of peace, prosperity, and voluntary labor for Shakespere."

    ~this publication is approved by Big Ape.~
    .................................................................................................................................................

    All employees are guaranteed free living quarters in the company glass baracks and are free to eat from Mr. Yachts personal greenhouse to sustain their caloric requirements. He's that generous ♥.

    This Month in the Company Catalog, Mr. Yacht recommends Yellow Brain Trees!
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2014
    SivCorp likes this.
  2. Dave Combine

    Dave Combine Corporate Co-Chair

    (( A company that sells lumber in a time where technology is in every atom? Intrigued to see how this turns out.
    As a side note, I would probably add some more information to your homepage; i.e. different types of wood you sell, the prices, code of ethics, etc ))
     
  3. Jety Lefr

    Jety Lefr Pangalactic Porcupine

    Every great civilization grows from wooden roots, and race out in this universe so far needs clean air to breath.
    Terraforming businesses need to get their trees from somewhere.
    Fine wood furniture crafters needs wood too, especially the glitch.
    Botanical gardens can't very well grow trees out of thin air.
    That's what we here at Shakespere provide.

    I'm going to be posting a catalog every once in a while with updates on our saplings and woods offered as well as their prices.

    The code of ethics was this:
    The company has a no tolerance policy where investigation and trespassing is concerned, and discussion of employee life-style, wage, and satisfaction is forbidden.
     
  4. Yongzhi2000

    Yongzhi2000 Heliosphere

    Whoa, dayum. This is way better than my corporation. I'm gonna have to step it up a little to compete.
     
  5. Jety Lefr

    Jety Lefr Pangalactic Porcupine

    Mr. Yacht sends thanks for your objective observation.
    Have a coupon.

    14% off all any transaction with 4 or more products purchased at one time.
    Activation code: AF66k67IOcbV
     
    Yongzhi2000 likes this.

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