Scarletfinger (working title)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Deep Space Amphithere, Nov 13, 2017.

?

Do you like it so far?

  1. Yes! Write more!

    50.0%
  2. Kinda. It could use work. (Specify in comments)

    50.0%
  3. No, this stinks. Write about something else.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. Deep Space Amphithere

    Deep Space Amphithere Void-Bound Voyager

    So I like to write. I also like to draw, but that's not the focus right now. Starbound lore has really drawn me in, and so I decided to write and post a little tester story! Can't promise anything about updates or completion, but this is really just a test to see what kinds of people like my writing. I have about 10% of this planned out, too, so at some point I might decide I don't like something and I'll rewrite half the story. Just a heads up.
    It's set in short journal entries written by a Greenfinger's .. co-finger?





    First moon - full
    Red moon - waxing crescent
    Greenfinger Xoil was killed in the Dark Hunt last night.
    It's a shame too. Xoil was a strong Greenfinger, she provided well for the tribe. I had enjoyed being her assistant, but we need to move on now.
    But it will be hard. Hard for everyone, of course, but hard for young Ardere most of all. Ardere has to take her new role as Greenfinger at such a young age. She had looked up to Greenfinger Xoil so much, and now she has step up and replace her mentor. She hadn't even finished her training. I suppose I will have to help her.
    She has a lot to grow into.





    First moon - last quarter
    Red moon - waxing gibbous
    Ardere wears her Greenfinger crown with pride. In the past few days, she has learned so much. The tribe respects her, as do I. She is learning quickly how to manipulate plants, but she has not yet figured out how to grow much other than supporting structures. I'm afraid I cannot help her with this. Greenfield Xoil never told anyone how she created such beautiful weaving lights, not that anyone could understand. She insisted that Greenfinger Ardere must learn slowly, or she would never understand her power.
    She seems to be doing fine on her own now, though. Perhaps Greenfinger Xoil was wrong about her.





    First moon - waning gibbous
    Red moon - full
    The red moon will be full tonight; tonight will be the Red Hunt. It's a huge event that happens between all the tribes on the planet. We go every cycle of the red moon. It should supply us for another half cycle, until the Dark Hunt, when the red moon is gone.
    This will also mark one half cycle from Greenfinger Xoil's death. Hopefully, Ardere will stay our Greenfinger for a long time. This is her night to prove herself.





    First moon - last quarter
    Red moon - waning gibbous
    Failure.
    The Red Hunt was an epic failure. We lost almost all the prey we caught to the other tribes, and brought back only casualties.
    Greenfinger Ardere is devastated. We may have to hunt mid-cycle if we are to keep from starving.
    The tribe is hungry and rowdy, sour from the loss. Greenfinger Ardere may have a hard time keeping them under control. She has asked me to help, and I will do the best I can.


     
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2017
  2. Negative Infinity

    Negative Infinity Void-Bound Voyager


    To make a spoiler:
    1- write "spoiler" (without quotations) in brackets.
    2- write the text you want inside the spoiler.
    3- end with "/spoiler" (also without quotations) in brackets.
    To name a spoiler:
    1- in the first brackets, write "spoiler=(title of your choice goes here)" (you won't need quotations or parenthesis but you will need the equal sign).


    As for the story itself, I think it's a little early for me to decide on whether I like it or not, but I am interested in seeing where it goes.
     
    Deep Space Amphithere likes this.
  3. Deep Space Amphithere

    Deep Space Amphithere Void-Bound Voyager

    AAA thank you! Spoiler boxes are useful and feedback is motivating!! :D
     
  4. Negative Infinity

    Negative Infinity Void-Bound Voyager

    Something I've realized is that when you edit the original post it does not move the thread to the top of the fan fiction forum. As a counter for my own story I post a comment in the thread to push it back to the top, that way people can see that there is something new.
    However: For your story, since every entry is small (my updates are 10 pages each, more or less), you might end up spamming every time you update the story. So instead, you could maybe add a comment every time the red moon either becomes 'full' or 'new.'
    You might also want to think about adding more journals from separate Florans. Maybe instead of just Skry's journal, you can include Ardere's journal or maybe some other Florans from the tribe. Just a suggestion.
     
    Deep Space Amphithere likes this.
  5. Deep Space Amphithere

    Deep Space Amphithere Void-Bound Voyager

    Oh no! Thanks for spotting that! I'll be sure to comment every few updates so it stays near the top.
    And thanks for the suggestion! I might add an entry or two from Ardere, but I'm no sure about just other Florans... Except maybe from other tribes, hmm..
     
    Negative Infinity likes this.

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