Story Protectorate Rising: A Starbound Story (Updated 21/04/20)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Jonesy, Jan 7, 2017.

  1. komodo52

    komodo52 Void-Bound Voyager

    I have read many stories, and being an author myself, I can say that this was an absolutely magnificent story.
    Even though I have already played the intro mission many times and knew what was to happen, Earth' s destruction still had me shocked and intrigued.

    Well done! :nod:

    I sure know I would most definitely pay for a copy of this story if it sold! :nuruawe:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 24, 2017
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  2. ChronoHyperion

    ChronoHyperion Big Damn Hero

    Yeah!

    Also I like you profile pic 'cause its funny. :catlol:
     
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  3. Jonesy

    Jonesy Sarif's Attack Kangaroo Forum Moderator

    Chapter 8 is up!
     
  4. mechaghost2003

    mechaghost2003 Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    Awesome work :nurucool:
     
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  5. Jonesy

    Jonesy Sarif's Attack Kangaroo Forum Moderator

    Chapter 9 is up!
     
  6. ChronoHyperion

    ChronoHyperion Big Damn Hero

    Yeah I really like the new chapter. Also I like your style that you've follow the story's direction but in your own way at least. really, really liked it!
     
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  7. Negative Infinity

    Negative Infinity Void-Bound Voyager

    In chapter 9 when Vikton and Lorenzo are at the Beakeasy talking to each other you put "But we can let it get to us." I assume you meant to say "But we can't let it get to us."
    Also, your title still says 'Chapter 8' instead of 'Chapter 9'.
     
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  8. Jonesy

    Jonesy Sarif's Attack Kangaroo Forum Moderator

    I know it's been a while, but chapter 10 is finally finished!
     
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  9. mechaghost2003

    mechaghost2003 Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    oh my what a cliff hanger. :nuruhappy:
     
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  10. ChronoHyperion

    ChronoHyperion Big Damn Hero

    Aw, a cliff hanger at the end but can't wait for the next chapter. :)
     
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  11. Negative Infinity

    Negative Infinity Void-Bound Voyager

    As I was reading chapter 10 I spotted a spelling error:
    “We can’t give us now.”
    A simple mistake with an easy fix.

    Also, at the end I assume Vikton died and was revived at the ship's teleporter, which is alright but I'm interested to see how that's going to work out for your story since won't that mean enemies can revive at their own ships as well?
    Of course, he could also have just been emergency teleported back to the ship by S.A.I.L. or something.
     
  12. Jonesy

    Jonesy Sarif's Attack Kangaroo Forum Moderator

    Ah, thanks for that.

    It was the latter. People can indeed be teleported out of trouble before a fatal injury, but only if they're linked to a teleporter (like how the player and their crew are in-game).
     
  13. Jonesy

    Jonesy Sarif's Attack Kangaroo Forum Moderator

    Updated with chapter 11!
     
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  14. Negative Infinity

    Negative Infinity Void-Bound Voyager

    I read chapter 11 and noticed an possible error, that, or I'm just not understanding what the sentence is trying to say:
    “We’re even agreed to trade raw materials for food with your Avian friends."
    You also forgot to update the thread title to chapter 11.
    Other than those, I didn't see any mistakes.

    As for my opinion of the story, I'm liking it so far. I feel like you're doing a good job with referencing past events (such as Earth's destruction), and I also am interested with what you are going to do with the USCM since in-game they are basically shut down.
     
  15. Jonesy

    Jonesy Sarif's Attack Kangaroo Forum Moderator

    It was just a typo. It was supposed to be "We've", indicating that the miners are trading raw materials in exchange for food from the colony.
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2017
  16. mechaghost2003

    mechaghost2003 Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    great chapter :)
     
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  17. ChronoHyperion

    ChronoHyperion Big Damn Hero

    'Kiss, kiss, kiss, and someone ruined the moment' cliche. Nice chapter by the way. :)
     
  18. Jonesy

    Jonesy Sarif's Attack Kangaroo Forum Moderator

    I've updated the main post with a piece of cover art kindly made by Rex Blackbeak.

    Also worth mentioning that I'm planning on finishing up the first run of Human & Lupusad before I go back to university, so I'll be focusing on it over Protectorate Rising during my writing time. But rest assured, the story will continue.
     
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  19. ChronoHyperion

    ChronoHyperion Big Damn Hero

    All can I say about the artwork is " 'click' Noice", nice to see someone like Rex Blackbeak devoted for your fanfic. :)
     
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  20. borisar5116

    borisar5116 Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    Chapter 1 fells like, a beautiful reference to some parts of 1984.
     
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