OPEN: PERSONAL LOG - SKADDI JORNISDOTTIR, DIRECTOR OF LAB F-124, FORMERLY HEAD OF NEOBIOLOGY RESEARCH AT APERION UNIVERSITY Have arrived at Lab F-124, located on planet [REDACTED] orbiting [REDACTED]. First impressions are poor. I understand that this planet was chosen specifically for its toxic environment, so that should our test subjects escape they will not survive long enough to propagate freely, but the necessity does not negate the smell. Pro: Acid rain discourages the grad students from going outside, removing a significant distraction to their work. Con: It has the same effect on Lead Directors. The lab is almost completed, but the wiring is unfinished and there are problems with the hydrolic generators. Apparently the engineer responsible was shipped off for re-education last week. Typical. The lab is working with a skeleton crew already, so I will have to set everything up myself. Good thing I took that soldering seminar two years ago! On the positive side, this gave me ample time to examine the enclosure before the test subjects arrive. Floran are inherently dangerous to study, so it is essential that their containment is secure at all times. Current security measures include: - Constantly monitored surveillance cameras - Sprinkler System (when diluted, the planet's native acids act as an excellent Floran sedative) - Auto-locking double-doored safety chamber. Sets off alarms when open, cannot be open to both the enclosure and the lab proper at the same time. I am a somewhat proud of how well we have been able to mimic the Floran's natural habitat and 'architecture'. Not that such a primitive style should have been beyond our superior grasp, but it is really quite difficult to tell these structures from the real thing. I finished wiring the main light system. Since this research is highly classified, most of the lab is hidden underground. In order to mimic the Floran's natural cycle, I've installed sensors on the surface to align the laboratory's lights with the planet's day and night. I have calculated that a similar set up in the rest of the lab to enforce a regular schedule will increase productivity by 7%. Getting to know my staff members. Inga is my direct subordinate and has been stationed at this facility longer than anyone else. She is eager and excited for our work to begin. I only wish I could extract that enthusiasm and apply it to myself. Note to self: Just had new idea for R&D Also had a chat with our head of security. I've met bananas with more brain cells (or rather, I've created them) but this lab isn't a high value target so we're not anticipating much trouble. Makes sense they would send us an academy wash-out to watch the front door. Makes less sense to send a high qualified, thrice-Apel-Prize-winning, tenured research scientist to oversee this backwoods operation, but who am I to question the wise directives of my superiors? Our new engineer finally arrived. With her help, I've finally got the generators running properly. This facility is officially on-line! The generators are the most vulnerable and crucial part of the lab's structure, so additional security has been assigned to that area. I suspect a romantic entanglement between Pard (our newest security officer) and the engineer Linasia may be inevitable. So long as it doesn't affect her work output, I'll turn a blind eye. It may be against protocol, but we were lucky to get a new engineer within two weeks of losing the last one. There's no telling how long it might take to replace Linasia if she were to be reassigned. Four expendable idiots grad students have arrived and are settling into their new research areas nicely. There was a little grumbling about the lack of proper beds for each team member, but after I gently reminded them of how lucky they were to have not one, but TWO Big Ape dolls in their sleeping quarters, they quickly saw the advantages of sharing. I don't see what all the fuss is about. They have their own separate work spaces, a kitchen area, infirmary, AND a bathroom! Back when I was a grad student, we were lucky to have even one of those creature comforts, and we had to walk uphill in a freezing blizzard to get to it! Oh, what I wouldn't trade for one more day on that icy tundra now... Our Floran test subjects have finally arrived and were transferred to their enclosure without incident. We seem to have four 'male' Floran and one 'Female'. I'm not sure if the 'gender' imbalance was intentional, or if the asset procurement division just couldn't tell the difference. These Floran test subjects behave very differently to the Apex test subjects I have worked with in the past. Thus far we have recorded no screaming, crying, or begging for mercy. I cannot tell if they are simply unable to fully perceive their predicament, or if they understand what has happened and are somehow apathetic to it. Regardless, the F.I.C.U.S. (Florans In Captivity Under Surveillance) project can FINALLY begin. Joy. The Floran seem to have adapted well to their new surroundings. Behavioral observations so far fall within a standard deviation of similar observations taken in the field. They do frequently try to bash their heads through the locked safety hatch of the enclosure. Either they do not understand that their escape attempts are futile, or simply enjoy repeated head trauma. So far I have been unable to discern which. The Floran continue to display no signs of distress. Often they act as though they are not under observation at all, completely ignoring everything that goes on outside the reinforced glass walls of their enclosure. Other times, however, they stop what they are doing to stare back at us. It is likely my imagination, but it sometimes seems like their black, blank eyes focus primarily on me for some reason. If they are trying to unsettle me, it is not working. I am an ape of science, and cannot be intimidated by such crude tactics. However, the possibility that they are trying to engage in primitive psychological warfare is an interesting one in itself. Nothing new or interesting to report. The Floran subjects continue to chew on bones, discordantly bang on drums, and gibber at each other in a way that could almost be misconstrued as conversation. We have recieved no new experimental directives. Our task remains the same as ever: Observe. The one aspect of this post that I enjoy is the fact that I have private, personal quarters to which my subordinates are denied access. I was even given permission to decorate my space with my favorite Big Ape painting. After a long day of observing morons (and Florans) it is lovely to be able to sit down and relax at my desk with a nice cup of tea. At least until one of the Dan's needs my help recalibrating his microscope or something. Did I mention we have two researchers named Dan? As if it wasn't already hard enough to tell these peons apart. Inga and I decided to vivisect one of the Floran today, just for something to do. I feel like this may be stretching the parameters of our unchanging orders (Observe), but we certainly did observe the Floran's biological structure. We did not learn anything that hasn't already been covered by previous researcher's vivisections, of course. The Floran have no internal organs to speak of and seem to consist entirely of a fibrous botanical substance permeated with phloem sieve tubes to transport their sap. Strangest of all was when we cut open the Floran's head to find no variation in material or structure. We already knew that Floran do not possess compound brains like other intelligent life forms, but it was still bizarre to see it first hand. The Floran claimed that the procedure 'tickled' and apparently has suffered no long term ill effects. Even Inga is starting to feel the strain of this long assignment. I can't blame her. Floran seem to take all the fun out of science. Who ever heard of a vivisection without screaming and struggling? What's even the point? Researcher Amaina is in charge of Floran monitoring. We have a lot in common. I hope I get reassigned soon.