Opinions on Shane as Husband?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Minaewin, Oct 6, 2016.

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  1. Xylia

    Xylia Tiy's Beard

    I would have to chime in here, and say that I agree with the sentiment that nobody is going to change over a few days or even a year.

    It takes time for emotional damage.

    I'll tell you a story about myself:

    I had an abusive older brother (he was 6-7 years older than I) who left home when I was 13. He wasn't physically abusive, but rather mentally abusive. He did everything he could to beat me into the ground and make me feel inferior mentally; he was basically a bully. He also had lots of friends at school, and he'd always tell people at school how much of a "weird" kid I was, and then his friends would tell their younger siblings, and sure enough I'd go to school and nobody liked me hardly whatsoever.

    It didn't help that I had almost zero social skills whatsoever (we live in a very rural area; 10+ minutes to the nearest town, surrounded by relatives, all but two of whom was older than I and friends with my brother).

    Well, when I turned 18, I had pretty much zero social skills, and I was incredibly socially awkward. That was 18 years ago. I was so shy that when I got my first job at a grocery store (a year and a half after failing Marine Corps bootcamp halfway through due to a phobia of deep water which made it impossible for me to learn how to swim), I hardly said anything to anybody and the first owner decided that I did not make a very good cashier and put me on stock-only.

    Well... the store changed hands, and the new boss didn't think I'd make a good cashier either, but one of the managers kept asking him and trying to convince him to let me try it. Well, it took like 4? years until he finally let me try it and long story short, I eventually got better at it.

    Well, it took me at least 6-8 years of working at that store before I'd finally start talking to people, and nowadays I'm a lot better at it.

    The point is... it took me 6+ years before I started to overcome the damage that was done by my brother before I was 13. And you know what?

    The ripples are still felt to this day, 23 years after the fact. I'm still somewhat socially awkward, I still have little experience in other things that people take for granted and I still have a few other minor issues that stem from the stuff my brother used to do.

    I don't hate my brother and I've forgiven him... but some of the damage remains to this day.

    And this is something minor like bullying... this ain't something like a chemical addiction or deep depression, or suicidal thoughts (though I will admit, when I was a lot younger I had a few of those). If it took me 10+ years to start recovering from what my brother did, I can't even imagine a depressed almost suicidal alcoholic to half-way recover in anything sooner than 10 years. Now maybe I could have recovered sooner if I had more friends, better help, etc... but meh. Hard to say.

    EDIT: And, again, coding and game mechanics issues as mentioned before. Maybe it'd be too complicated to have everything change, code-wise?
     
    • Reddestiny921

      Reddestiny921 Pangalactic Porcupine

      can't say I can't add to it, it's very hard to deal with extreme depression and the suicidal thoughts that come with it, it helps a great deal when you have something to be happy over however depending on your support system and how bad it is determines how many years it could take to just feel normal before addressing how to cope more on your own let alone with a family. I just think what if the game was set up differently, as in you could stay in the city and move to the farm some other time? If you could get there too late, not even Marnie was there on that cliff to stop Shane from ending it all and sadly maybe no one would have even known where to look even Gus only really knows him as a good customer. Though it's also up to how you look at it, those cans in his room don't have specific labels, yes they are small but you can fit a color in there and say what those cans are supposed to be.

      In my closest supermarket...as I live by a few of them...there is a section in the juice aisle for mixes for various copies of alcoholic drinks, like margaritas and bloody marys, but when you read those containers the instructions say to mix in vodka or your choice because they are non-alcoholic. Basically expensive juice, in the cold section there are cans and bottles of a non-alcoholic beer that is fairly popular in this area that looks no different from the real stuff it sits right next to. He's supposed to be in therapy and a good therapist will have exercises that hit you where it counts, the fridge doesn't open I like to think that it is locked but there is a small window for him to see real beer in there. Facing temptation but never getting the chance to give in while drinking the non-alcoholic version while still getting a real beer from his wife once in a while sort of like he can compare just one beer and how he feels now to the cases he went through when he was alone and how much worse he felt then.

      Gus is one of her friends, Arina is the farmer's name, and I imagine that when Shane goes to the saloon now that he wouldn't want to push back his recovery and carries the non-alcoholic variety just for him so he can be a good friend and keep his business in the green so to speak. So taking his happily working on the farm, better mood, and exercise as signs of this treatment working I just see him differently.


      @Xylia it's hard, I know personally not having a very rosy childhood but in the end it makes you a stronger person if you can fight the feelings and the past even when it feels like you're drowning crying everyday being angry in the end helps more than just brushing it all under the rug. Eventually though you can find yourself recovering and it doesn't hurt so much which feels the best, don't you think? :).
       
      • Trifoilum

        Trifoilum Cosmic Narwhal

        Wow, a LOT of people sharing their stories here. Thank you for sharing and I wish you peace, recovery, and happiness. <3

        Also, Shane's room full of beers' going to be controversial like Seb's hookah, isn't it. :wut:
         
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        • Reddestiny921

          Reddestiny921 Pangalactic Porcupine

          I didn't know he had a hookah...I want one lol though I don't know about controversial.
           
          • Chlorruption

            Chlorruption Scruffy Nerf-Herder

            Even better. It was a bong. Screenshot_20161006-235510.png
             
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            • Reddestiny921

              Reddestiny921 Pangalactic Porcupine

              lol I didn't even notice and I married him, well he helped out on the farm a lot with my fences and watered crops which I had a lot of so if that's how he wants to relax...hehe
               
              • Chlorruption

                Chlorruption Scruffy Nerf-Herder

                Pretty sure there's still a dialogue bit with Robin about a "funny-smelling ashtray".
                 
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                • Rauchschwalbe

                  Rauchschwalbe Cosmic Narwhal

                  My father was, is and probably always will be struggling with alcoholism. He is very grumpy, aggressive, similar to Shane. I cannot forgive him because he gave me memories I simply can`t erase and he ruined a lot. But I can do better than him and live my life in a proper way without abusing drugs or hurting the ones I love.

                  That`s why I wouldn`t marry Shane and have kids with him. Even if it`s just a game it would feel like I would do the same thing to my virtual kids. Leaving them with some drunken guy who doesn`t care enough for them or anyone. And yes, I also struggled with depression, but I tried to minimize the damage for others. Because this is my problem and not a single person should suffer because of my own problem. Especially not the ones I love the most.
                   
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                  • EltonScone

                    EltonScone Star Wrangler


                    I wish I could like this comment fifty times more. Well said.
                     
                    • Last_Aeon

                      Last_Aeon Void-Bound Voyager

                      What if... He was just pretending to like the beers, and hide them afterwards!!!
                       
                      • MagicallyClueless

                        MagicallyClueless Master Astronaut

                        (the hookah was taken out. it's just a vase now. pls guys. seb doesn't do that stuff)

                        things don't change overnight for sure. CA does a very good job at making realistic characters with gradual change, and erring away from stereotypes and whatnot. i'm personally pretty happy with shane's development, though i agree the room may be a little too much. it gives me a feeling that it was made before the events were? but i'm not usre
                         
                          Last edited: Oct 7, 2016
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                        • Reddestiny921

                          Reddestiny921 Pangalactic Porcupine

                          Had a long play, been feeling down and anxious myself so it has been nice to get back to playing, and after getting a kiss...I think it was his pizza roll dialogue where he kisses you first I went out to tend to the animals and went off the farm. I said hi to Ras and Leah and then went in to see Jas was home alone I was going to leave and get her something and as I walk out I saw Shane coming up the other way to head in. When I pick a person to marry I usually know their family's schedule so not seeing Marnie I remembered she went to the store on Mondays and it was kind of like he stopped by to keep her company which I didn't know he did as I usually am already in town by then and hadn't seen it. I think it's sweet.
                           
                          • Gracelessdance

                            Gracelessdance Void-Bound Voyager

                            I was really excited about Shane. But after the first few events, he hit too close to home. I love this game cause the characters are written like PEOPLE. but at the same time.... IRL i know those people... I am those people.... and I'm here to have fun on my farm and escape. So for now I have to put Shane aside, and not look at him to closely... same with a few others- sure parts are cute, but other parts make me die just a little inside cause those people and myself- they arn't doing so good....

                            Until then I'm gonna watch Emily do her crazy thing and have a good time till I have the head space to enjoy the other part of this update... and then go back and deal with the deeper characters.... I mean it isn't hard... If they hit a cord stop giving them gifts :cry:
                             
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                            • Reddestiny921

                              Reddestiny921 Pangalactic Porcupine

                              ah I understand that, well if you do pick him sometime it might feel nice to see how he improves living on the farm with you
                               
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                              • ChaosAzeroth

                                ChaosAzeroth Existential Complex

                                Yeah I accidentally triggered the first heart event and was like oh shit that's me...Man....

                                Then triggered the event in the ranch on another file somehow and it really reminded me of a screw up I did recently... Yeah...

                                We are not okay people....

                                I'm still going to make friend with him and always complain about the mud cause the rest of the mess makes sense but why mud?
                                 
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                                • Gracelessdance

                                  Gracelessdance Void-Bound Voyager

                                  No spoilers, I saw the first two events and his dialogue. I've seen a little here and there I know about his room once he moves in- having said that, I'm not sure if I'll be happy or disappointed, and I mean that if he goes either way.

                                  Like if he improves a whole lot and everything is great, will that make me happy? Or sad... cause that's not how it goes.
                                  Or if he improves just a little but is basically the same as those first two events, will I be sad? Or happy cause I mean that's more like life....
                                  It's weird I want so much from it and I'm scared to find out how it will go- but I know now is not the time to do it....

                                  It'd be like.... playing a game about having a bad break up, while you are breaking up.... I guess sometimes its cathartic but mostly its just wallowing- that time away needs to be away time.... you know?

                                  I guess it is a credit, to say we are having such a hard time playing Shane- I never had this Issue with say Gary or Karen.... or anyone.... HM wise....
                                  Many of the characters I saw and said "oh this is- so and so" only to find out that was not the case, and that even the non dateable NPCs had real lives to them.
                                  ok ok I'm done :rofl:
                                   
                                  • ChaosAzeroth

                                    ChaosAzeroth Existential Complex

                                    Did you play HM 64? Karen and Shane are a LOT alike actually, but Karen's a little 'worse' sometimes....

                                    Got 4 words for ya:
                                    Bar scene with Kai.
                                     
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                                    • Gracelessdance

                                      Gracelessdance Void-Bound Voyager

                                      You are sort of right it has been at least 10 years or more, I was thinking FOMT- but still I do remember... but I also played that game at a different time in my life.

                                      I guess it all depends.... Maybe If I played this game then it wouldn't have been a big deal at all- maybe it would have been helpful or something IDK...

                                      I've always played these game as a getaway they are so necrotic and time consuming.
                                      LOL maybe like I said Shane was just a wrong character wrong time. I'mma be quiet (I'm at work I'm supposed to be working.... DX)
                                       
                                      • ChaosAzeroth

                                        ChaosAzeroth Existential Complex

                                        Bad you. ((I tease.))

                                        Nah I get that, itwas about the idea that Karen was different when man in the old stuff she was HEAVY. ((Not a weight joke.))
                                        They totally mixed everything up in the PS version, and so subsequently FoMT since it was almost the same game.

                                        Defor not trying to say something is or isn't for you or should or shouldn't illicit x for you and I genuinely apologize if that read as such.
                                         
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                                        • Vith

                                          Vith Cosmic Narwhal

                                          One reason why I like Shane so much is because he seems the most "real" person in Stardew Valley. I get the fact that some of us play video games to escape, but a lot of the other characters (there are exceptions of course) seem too "cheery" for it to be realistic – there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, and I do like it. However, this allows Shane to have a lot of depth to his character, even some issues some of us can relate with. There's no real hidden flaw or vulnerability with Shane, you're seeing exactly how it is.

                                          I really applaud how CApe handled Shane. There's so much character development it is amazing.
                                           
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