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"Generating Cynosural Fields."
"Igniting Storm Planets."
"Initiating tidal forces and tectonic shift."
"Creating mountain ranges large enough to embarass Everest."
"Seeding Universe with combustible gases."
"Igniting combustible gases."
"Regenerating conspicuously gas-lined holes in galaxies."
"Reversing galactic spin."
"Inverting the Z axis."
"Subverting the Y axis."
"Converting the X axis."
"Re-evaluating cosmic calculations with base-8 math."
"Informing Captain Carter of the existence of base-8 math. Preparing for fallout."
"These are not the galaxies you're looking for. Unless they are."
"HEY. Listen. HEY. HEY. HEY. Listen. Listen. HEY. Your ship's on fire, better see to that."
"That hissing sound isn't a gas leak."
"Shepard can't save you now."
"Could be a girl inside that armor for all you know."
"Inputting spatial coordinates for the cake planet."
"Information overload... Aborting search for cake."
"A Nomi is a unit of measurement equal to one fifth the total force dissipated after a Red Dwarf supernova over the space of... nevermind."
"A Pulsar is NOT a discoball substitute."
"A planet made of diamonds is alot less practical than it sounds."
"Any volatile mineral with a subclassification involving the word "quad" or other multiplicative should probably be handled with care."
"If an alien species appears to have eye sockets, but no eyes, it might be time to return to your ship."
"Do not investigate fault lines in the sides of mountains that seem to 'fit you'."
"Poptops make great pets. Especially for cruel Aunts."
"Do not accept bladed weaponry from water-based sentient species, especially if they claim it will give you sovereignty over an Empire."

I could go on...

 

"Corrupting Penguins"
"Endangering Red Pandas"
"Annoying You With Loading Screens"

 

"Accepting candy from random Space Hobos is highly inadvisable."
"Lighting something on fire will create a fire."
"There's 235,406,486 differently colored pixels found in this game."
"Do not divide by 0."
"Warm chocolate tastes really good in the winter."
"Never trust a cat."
"Lizardmen are extremely tremulous towards classic rock music."

 

Pffft.
Who needs text loading screens when you can have the best of them all:
ELEVATOR LOADING SCENES

 

Mirrors edge?

 

Portal?

 

Also Mass Effect.
See, heaps of great games use elevator loading screens!

 

It's only logical since all you can do in an elevator is wait to get to the next level.

 

"Inserting copious amounts of bats and animate rocks into caves"

 

Portal's Mass Edge.
Also:

"Pressurizing water."
"Charging Volcano Cannons."
"Diggy'n diggy'n holes."
"Teaching robots Rasengan."
"Shooting arrows to the knees."

SO MANY FADS'N'MEMES!

 

"Relocating Space Hobos"

"Calling the cameraman back from his coffee break"

"Firin' mah lazors"

"Generating lie... ... ... ... ... cake placed"

"Killing your character"

"Bombing your spawn"

~ockpii

 

The game where you stand in an elevator!

 

"Procedurally generating procedural generation" x_x

 

"Making all the blue stuff deadly. Y'know, the BLUE stuff..."

 

Umm... sky?

 

Not all planets have blue sky, but, wait, probably have been said before but, deadly skies would be cool! Because you can't breathe all the air in the universe!

 

"Bounding Stars"
"Wiping Hard Drive"
"Planting Explosives"
"Detonating Explosives"
"Escalating Difficulty"
"Destroying Your Hopes and Dreams"
"Eliminating the 3rd Dimension"
"Generic Loading Message"

Edit- The Developers seem to have their eye on this thread...

 

Needs more Navi.

 

"Beyond beyond the thunder dome."

 

Navi? I think you missed a line in my list...