Info about the upcoming patch!

Yea... Great game, but the bugs were vast and harsh. I'm still stuck at the Imperial(I think that is the name of the faction) Mission because she won't give me my new instructions in the snow area.

 

I can't wait for that, I hope that it doesn't do a repeat of Colonial Marines and fail.

 

Can't possibly repeat the mistakes. You don't shoot in it If they make mistakes, it'll be their own kind of mistakes Let us just hope they don't lol.

 

C'mon! Haha.

 

do the wipe patch already and worry about the rest in a future patch the wait is killing me

 

"It'll be here soon"

 

I see the whole "patch/update" process as saying one fine Saturday morning, "I'm going to weed the landscaping around the house today, and trim the hedges." You wake up at 8AM, have a shower and breakfast and suddenly its 9AM. Still plenty of time to tackle that project! You head outside and open your tool chest, but your gloves are missing. By 9:23AM you find them in the barn, thrown on the ground right inside the door. You finally begin to weed the landscaping around the house. Things go well til around 100AM and suddenly you're covered in ants up to your elbows. By 11:10 you've sprayed the ants, de-anted your gloves, applied anti-itch medicine to the bites (it took a while to find the medicine, and it didn't work anyway), and now you're back, ready to weed again!

At 12:13PM you find a poison ivy vine that has wound itself up into one of the shrubs. Taking care to not break or touch the vine, you remove it. Smooth sailing til 1:15PM and you're about halfway done with the weeding. Hedges still to go at some point (hopefully!). Now you're around front, where the decorative small trees aren't so small any more. Diving up under these trees slows things down considerably, and its unpleasantly damp under here.. The leaves have built up, and as you remove the first handful you spot termites. Living right up against the house, termites! By 2:45PM the exterminator is gone, you're 145 dollars more poor than before he showed up, but the wood is safe for future generations! You begin weeding again.

At this point the wheelbarrow is full and you're hungry, so after running the wheelbarrow to the mulch pile and dumping it and having a sandwich and some grape Fanta its 32PM. You can still finish this! You're probably 65% done, anyway! So you get back to work. The ant bites sting, your knees ache, you wallet hurts, the unkempt hedges still glare at you. You will not be defeated! Your wife gets home at 6:00PM, she'll wonder what you did with the day at this point, as you've strewn out a lot of tools and left some loose ends here and there.. You'll get to those soon enough! 32PM work begins again, and now you're around the holly and decorative cedar, both of which have sharp, pointy leaves, both on and off of the plant.

By 4:00PM the wheelbarrow needs dumped again, and you're back at it. You burrow back under the cedar and holly and there are small saplings of both growing here and there. The roots are well-embedded, too tough to pull by hand. Another trip to the barn to get hand-shears and its 4:23PM. As you cut free the twenty nine saplings (you didn't count them, but the storyteller here is omnipotent and knows these things) you straighten up onto your knees, your back popping pleasantly, and the wasps are everywhere. A nest about the size of a softball dangles inches above your head, and they've had enough of you invading their territory.

The battle starts at 4:48PM and fully ends at 5:13PM, all told eleven stings dealt, one nasty trip over the rake, one can of twelve dollar long-distance wasp killer fully deployed (in a blind rage), and yet more medicine applied to your new stings. You are stung. Your knee is bruised and your arm scraped from the frantic tumble over the rake, but the wasps are dead, or twitching their final twitches, their nest rigorously stomped over and over again, a wild dance of victory as a shout-out to your caveman DNA. You've still got a bit more than forty-five minutes til the wife gets home.. Can.. do.. this..

You brutally snap the saplings; they're dead (enough) and they can be dealt with another day. This basically completes weeding 75% of the entire landscaping. Hedges.. Well. The hedges can wait til tomorrow. You had things to do, actual enjoyable things, but you can square off about two hours to get those hedges tomorrow. You head around to the final side of the house (its the west side) and begin weeding with fury. You vaguely wonder if some chemical reaction isn't occurring due to the various insect venoms in your bloodstream, but whatever, fine! The rage shall help! Its 5:45PM when you spot the mole runs.

Like the earth has grown need of flowing blood, veins of upraised dirt twine across the landscape here on the God-forsaken west side. This will not do. Over here the water lines run, the gas line runs, and the septic line runs. You briefly take a leisure moment to imagine driving the riding mower over this loose ground and your stunned expression as all four tires sink in simultaneously and break both the septic AND natural gas lines at once. Would there be an explosion? You don't know, but there would be gagging. Gagging, wretching, gasping for breath that is inevitably laced with odorless natural gas, you pass out and tumble from the mower, splashing like a limp dummy into the vile bubbling septic. The mower drives itself free of the ruts and proceeds into the woods. After a trip to the hospital and forty-eight hours time you find the mower almost two hundred yards into the woods behind your house, tipped over on its side beside a tree.

NO. Can't have these moles. The resulting fallout would be nothing short of catastrophic. Back to the barn to dig out your grandfather's rustic mole-spearing traps. After an expedition deep into the back of the cluttered storage area you find them, seven heavy arcane bladed contraptions, and at 5:59PM you find yourself heading back towards the west side of the house, standing in the middle of the driveway with damp jeans, a bruised knee, swollen ant bites to the elbows (plus the scrape!), eleven scattered wasp stings pulsing like small volcanoes, a knot in your lower back, the young-but-growing warning signs of a headache, and an armful of mole traps that you suddenly recall your wife absolutely hating. They kill the innocent lil moles!, says she. They're downright CRUEL!!, says she.

And of course they are. They thrust the equivalent of a medieval era sword through the unfortunate burrowers. Last time you had to call in an "expert" who virtually vacuumed the furry invaders out of their burrows (I wonder if he cried a little when he set them free..). She gets out of the car, not with a compliment about how the yard looks in its improved state, about the work you've done and the personal and near-grievous injuries you've sustained (you look like you went to war with yard gnomes). Why do you have those traps out again?!, says she, I thought you got rid of them the last time we went over this!! Well, you did get rid of them, to the back of the barn, a temporary fix but indeed effective. In your rush to prevent you being gassed into unconsciousness and collapsing from your mower into a lake of sewage you simply forgot the argument that transpired during the last annual Mole-Fest (your least favorite holiday by far at this point..).

The argument continues, you apologize, and 5:59PM slowly leads to 9:00PM, and you're ready for bed. Its been a chilly, long evening due to those despised mole traps, and you'll be calling the "expert" with his Dr. Seuss-ish vacuum of peace again tomorrow. So far "weeding and hedging" will have cost you three hundred and eighty nine dollars. You wake up the next morning and instead of heading to your favorite lake to try and snag some of those prize bluegill (the "fish forecast" on the local news said this Sunday would be epic, all conditions green for go, don't miss it, folks!), you instead have the warzone that was yesterday's "yardwork" cleaned and the rest of the bed weeded (and the "expert" paid and gone with his strange living cylinder of moles, to boot, en route to a flowery meadow where they can undermine Mother Nature, instead of you) and its now 113AM.

Time to finally tackle those hedges, maybe you'll get to go fishing after all, or at least receive a compliment from your wife about the improved state of the yard.. Opening your outdoor toolbox the first thing you see is that your extension cord has been nearly chewed through by rats. RATS. Off to get the electrical tape, can't run the hedge trimmer with this!! Will need to call another exterminator, or at least run to the store for traps (which will be carefully hidden from your wife's Eye-of-Sauron-like gaze..), and get the notebook out and make sure to keep an accurate tally of just how much some simple yardwork is going to cost in the gritty end, besides time, effort, injury, sacrifice and the ashy thankless atmosphere of it all.. But you will prevail! Or die trying, which seems a half-likely prospect at this point. And all this work just so you can get back to the factory again tomorrow..

Thats basically how I see the process of patching/updating a game, in as few words as I could possibly employ.. (I COULD GO ON THROUGH SUNDAY IF NEEDED.)

 

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that.... absolutely that.... can't wait anymore

 

Do you honestly expect anyone to read that?

 

Dude.

Paragraphs.

 

I'm going to cry myself to sleep tonight

 

It's okey, it's okey :catface2:

 

Tiy tweeted about 2 houes ago saying "Patch is more or less done but it's such a huge change to fundamental engine features were doing some internal testing before release"

sooo now it's the bottom of the ninth in terms of waiting i suppose.

 

Exactly! Do all that typing work and what do I get?? HMM!? Asked for paragraphs! ITS NEVER ENOUGH FOR YOU PEOPLE! *runs away weeping*

 

i think he started writing that when Molly made this post...

 

Hahaha .

 

Finally somebody who understands that sometimes things don't go as planned lol

 

Although hard to read it was quite enjoyable. But please. Paragraphs.

Thank you.

 

I read the first and last sentence of this and that's it.

 

I read the whole thing. it was a pretty good story lol