Homestuck Clan Thread: It's 4:13 Somewhere

I keep on trying to come up with a shitty rhyme but I can't.
I hate ants.
Oh look, I did it.
Someone get a med kit
Cause I needed something that rhymed with the sound it and now I'll end this line with a word ending with "otl"
Just so I can rhyme it with Axolotl
Those things are the best animals ever
Should I stop? Never.
Okay. I should stop now cause this is so bad
That it's actually kind of sad.
Unrelated, but needed to rhyme, John has a lot of shale
Thus ends this shitty thing's tale.

AM I COOL NOW?

 

You're just about the coolest cat in the goddamned cradle, ET.

 

*Bows*

 

What even is this gif.
WHO MADE IT.

 

Wait, John Green the dude from Crash Course? The same John Green that calls sex "Skootilybooping" (spelling)?

 

Can I just say that John Green and Hank Green are both awesome dudes?

Morgan Freeman Narrates Homestuck:

*Morgan Freeman clears his throat, the sound of this causes five puppies to appear in a peaceful meadow*


"Now, the streets were devoid of life, the wind was the only thing walking them. If loneliness were a person, this would be it's music.


For you, this is your thirteenth birthday, your whole life has felt.. empty, an emotion I am not capable of understanding considering my voice fills all hearts with joy. And unseen magician is apparently playing cruel tricks on you for some purpose I will not tell you in this narration, as that might spoil the story.


"Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire." -Walt Whitman


Walt Whitman narrated that, not as well as I, but well enough.


This day shall be a long one, dragging on into the endless depths of the abyss, until it reaches the ending white light of my voice."


And no, I didn't write that.

 

To all y'all saying that weather pic would look better darker, how's this?

All I did was turn down the brightness and up the contrast in paint.net.

 

John Green is a very silly guy. He's an accomplished author, and has a video blog with his brother where the subject swaps back and forth between educational and ridiculous. Sometimes within the same 4 minute videos.
I wouldn't say prophet, but he's talented in a huge number of ways.

 

So like Hussie but less evil and talented in different areas with a legitimate brother? Cool.

 

And not gay for a Roofie

 

Risk of Rain: ARTIFACTS!
I've unlocked them all now. There's one per map, they don't count toward your game completion score, and they're usually pretty difficult to get at. I recommend running a loop, getting some jetpacks, and then taking time in each map, after activating the teleporter and finishing off all the critters.

Honor: Enemies are always elites.
Kin: Enemies that spawn in one particular map are always the same.
Distortion: One skill is locked at a time, every minute. Only one, it doesn't stack.
Spite: Enemies explode on death. Sorry melee players.
Glass: Deal 500% damage, have 10% health.
Enigma: Use items have a random effect.
Sacrifice: Chests no longer spawn. Items now drop from enemies (at a chance). This is actually really nice, because money still drops. EXP city!
Command: Items are no longer random. Instead of item drops, a box drops that allows you to pick an item of the same tier. Note that use items are all in the same tier, except for a few which are boss drops. Bad news: It's not an autopausing menu.
Spirit: Characters EVERYTHING runs faster at lower health.
Origin: Imps invade the map every 10 minutes.

 

I turned on Command, Sacrifice, and Glass. Now I'm farming in Boar Beach. Just like good ol' Maplestory.

 

Wow. It doesn't even affect me and I still think it's a dumbass move.
I gave up on consoles a while ago. I play games almost exclusively on my PC. But many people use consoles. Dropping that part of the market is a stupid-ass decision which will result in nothing good for Gamestop. They're called Gamestop for a reason, but now I guess they're called Gamestop for a reason
Get it?
Because they're
Stopping
The games

 

That joke has only been made 28,000,000 times today.

 

It does not feel like 9:23 PM
9:23 AM, maybe

I just slept for a few hours

 

The last time I fell asleep in the middle of the day, I was 7
I cannot sleep until my day is over, and I don't get how people fall asleep so easily

 

I have acquired 14 16 Goat Hooves
ROLLIN' AROUND AT THE SPEED OF SOUND

 

We need to organize a RoR party here.

 

10 lens maker's glasses, meaning 100% crit rate
8 56 leaf clovers, meaning 30% item drop rate from elites (it doesn't stack anymore)
19 crowbars, meaning I do (19*30)% more damage on the first hit
A Golden Gun, meaning a bit of extra damage for having a lot of gold
12 Soldier's Syringes
And I'm playing with the Glass artifact enabled, meaning I do 500% more damage already

Not now (at least for me), I'm becoming a god


EDIT: 20 jetpacks = death by falling. Death message was "rekt"
I'm sad now.