Story Grounded Faith

Constructive critique, wonderful.

Haha, that part is meant to be completely unreadable, even for me. I really have no idea what he was saying. I think it's something about a girl. It was just to draw our protagonist in.

Conflict is something I might add in.

 

I know what it says, more or less. I thought it got the job done!

 

Really? What does it say?

 

“Ha! And ya know what I told her?” A rough and low voice echoed through the trees. “I told that broad that she better have the house spic and span when I go home. That’s what I said, I did!”

More or less.

 

Holy shit you're right. I remember now.

 

I speak many languages, including drunkish and Hillbillian.

 

I do, too. I just don't speak my own drunkish. :/

 

Always a pleasure to be of service!

 

Small changes. I gave our hero a reason to leave, and explained that the one drunk human is meant to be ridiculously had to understand. I forgot everything else I was planning to do.

 

Nifty banner has been created. Yaaay~

 

It's rather... frosty. Sorta hard to see the words, but not a real problem.

 

I wish I had a nifty banner!

 

There's a title up top, too. I just needed something worth an update.

In that sense, I also went through and touched the whole story up, trying to make it a bit more in line with the criteria.

 

I am actually reading through it again just because, and I can definitely tell there has been some polish. Excellent work good sir!

I tried to shine up my entry, but to be honest it has become one of those "this is as good as it is going to get" things.

 

Well, when you don't spend too much work on something, there is definitely a lot of room for improvement. I looked at it again at the deadline (Read: today), and thought to myself: What was I thinking?

So I did go through a large portion of it and change some minor things. The story is still pretty much the same, though.

 

Yeah, I spent a ton of time on mine before I posted it. There are some lines I am not completely happy with, but I have not determined and suitable alternatives.

You have a great story, and I think it has a great chance!

 

Thank you very much.

 

Great, great, now read my story Merc!
I need some constructive criticism, or else I'll just sit here for a week wondering how bad it is.

 

Good luck to all the entires! Can't say I'm expecting much, since there are some killer entries out, but It's been fun. :/