Greetings, fellow Explorers. You have reached the Gentleman's Encyclopaedia of Extra-Terrestrial Lifeforms. An automatically, magically updating encyclopaedia detailing many wondrous, benign, fascinating, adorable and dangerous creatures from all across the universe. Of course, it isn't just for gents, it's also handy for the conscientious, daring, beautiful and adventurous damsels out there as well. So, without further ado; let's get to introductions, shall we? My name is Syzygian, I am a Glitch explorer. Can't quite remember who I was before I woke up on my ship, but what I do know is that my programming is fried beyond all sense of the word. It currently causes me to talk and act like a 17th-18th century classic British gentleman. This shall be episodic, in a sense. Each creature shall have it's own dedicated post and picture. Jolly handy, wouldn't you say? (This will be written in the style of my RP character, who goes by the same name and is purely for fun, comedy and a bit of entertainment. Expect silliness. British silliness)
Name: 100-Eyed Ne'er Do Well (Centum Oculis Ulla Benefactis). Habitat: Deep caverns. Mannerisms: Growls considerably at nothing at all. Quite a racket. Demeanour: Highly aggressive and profoundly territorial. Notable Features: Large, protruding posterior spikes. Lack of neck. Unnecessary amounts of eyeballs. Sharp, pointy teeth. Peculiar yellow back pimples. At first, I assumed the 100-Eyed Ne'er Do Well to be non-hostile, as the beast refused to attack, despite being stood within immediate range, but as soon as I turned away from the fellow, he pounced me and inflicted considerable damage. Had the bounder not knocked me into this blasted pit, I would've given him a jolly good trouncing, but alas, now I am lost and enveloped by darkness. The creature itself appears to be well-adapted to it's habitat, sporting ridiculous quantities of eyes, which, I assume, aid in it's hunt for prey in the dark caverns by filtering more light than the standard bi-ocular format. It's yellow humps, which can only be referred to as buboes, by the looks of it, seem to serve no purpose. Perhaps they are nutrient reserves of some description, as prey itself can be quite scarce or just as formidable this far underground. One can only speculate.
Name: Scythe-Tailed Cyclopagon (Scythacauda Draconis). Habitat: Deep caverns. Mannerisms: Barks like a dog. Peculiar. Demeanour: Harmless and social. Notable Features: Strong legs. Single, red eye. Helmet-like blue head adornment with antlers. Scythe-like tail end. No visible maw. At first glance, one would presume this creature to be highly aggressive and quite dangerous. Upon closer inspection, it is almost as gentle as it's more commonly seen, barking counterpart, the domesticated dog. These creatures appear to be quite social and appear to be drawn towards light sources, perhaps due to the increase in visibility. Can't imagine that it's easy looking around in the pitch black with but a single eye. I find it difficult enough and I have two of them. They appear to have strong legs, presumably so they can leap effortlessly through the perilous chasms that infest this region of the planet's crust. Their tail is actually soft blue fur, similar to their elaborate head piece, and is not dangerous whatsoever.
Name: Batmanosaurus (Homo Vespertiliosaurus). Habitat: Deep caverns. Mannerisms: Sultry, deep toned vocal capability. Demeanour: Violent and territorial. Notable Features: Shark-like tail. Purple mask. Heroic tendencies. Grappling hooks and boomerangs. Perhaps one of the more intriguing creatures found in these caves. He has a fancy car, incredible amounts of weaponry and gadgets and, by jove, a mean left hook. He is the hero that the caverns deserve, but unfortunately not the one the caverns need. Rumour has it that he is a millionaire business tycoon and philanthropist by day. Who'd have guessed?
Name: Vertigazer (Vertice Respicere). Habitat: Deep caverns. Mannerisms: Chirps like a Bird, strangely. Demeanour: Harmless and vacant. Notable Features: Vertical eye placement. Gormless expression. Yellow underbelly. I honestly don't think that this creature even knows what it's doing, most of the time. It wanders around aimlessly. Bumping into rocks and explorers alike. Perhaps these Cow-like creatures are your average cavern-dwelling prey for other predators. Despite their gentle demeanour and vacuous facial expression, I would never like to meet another one of these again in my entire lifespan. What absolutely grotesque beings.
Name: Nolo (Latin and English name is the same). Habitat: Cave systems of varying depths. Mannerisms: Squeaks from time to time. Generally quiet. Demeanour: Cute and happy, but absolutely ferocious when approached. Notable Features: Eyes on stalks. Little yellow feet. Lightning bolt fur pattern. Appears to be charming and friendly, but attacks on sight. A bit of a shame, as the beast itself is quite adorable. I would love to have one as a pet. Seems to enjoy aquatic environments and is mostly found near water. Nolo steak is some of the best this side of the universe.
Name: Diamondtooth Ratiger (Adamadens Tigrimus) Habitat: Caves. Both deep and shallow. Mannerisms: Incessant roaring at rocks, other creatures and humanoids. Demeanour: Hostile in the extreme. Will chase you for days. Notable Features: Diamond-teeth. Stout appearance. Strong back. Incredibly muscular. The Diamondtooth Ratiger, as the name suggests, is a member of the Ratiger/Tigrimus family and has astonishingly sharp, dense Diamond teeth. I'm quite uncertain about how this particular Ratiger subspecies ended up evolving teeth made up of solid Diamond, but I assume that, and it's pale skin, are results of living so far underground. I have observed this particular subspecies going on long trips towards the centre of the earth. Perhaps it is the pressure and heat that forges these dreadful tusks. They are extremely muscular and can leap the distance of a small building, both in length and height. They will also knock you off your feet, if you're not careful, as they are incredibly territorial, to the point of travelling alone. Trust me, my friends, they are every bit as dangerous as they look.
Alrighty. So, now that I have some time to myself, I thought I'd post an update. Basically, work has been entirely destroying all of my free time lately and I am only now getting some time to do what I like. So there will be new posts almost immediately after this post. I was also wondering if anyone who reads this would like to submit some of their own monsters for me to write up about? Just post a screenshot of the beast and I'll do the rest. Cheers.
Name: Death Teddy (Atrox Ursus). Habitat: Underground, but not too deep. Mannerisms: High pitched squeaking whenever ANYTHING is spotted. Demeanour: Ravenous, horrible, territorial beasts with a thirst for blood. Notable Features: Being incredibly evil while being incredibly cute. Fart puff tail. This creature is yet another on the list of increasing reasons not to trust cute things. I came across a small family of them, deep down in the caves, they seemed peaceful enough. That is, until I got too close. Upon closer inspection, the beasts leapt up the cliff face and tore me limb from robotic limb. I was powerless to defend myself. Apart from being extremely fast and inflicting an intense amount of damage, they can also cough out noxious gases that poison you as well. Possibly the most dangerous creature I have yet encountered.
Name: Dark Devil (Tenebris Diaboli). Habitat: Surface-dwelling, mostly. Mannerisms: Completely silent, frighteningly so. Demeanour: Territorial and familial, a general nuisance. Notable Features: Looks pretty evil. Is pretty evil. Strangely, no mouth. Back flab. The Dark Devil, as I have come to call it, is a tempestuous fellow. They will wander in packs of two or three and hunt down unsuspecting natives to the planet they reside on. Very commonly seen attacking Avians. Perhaps they enjoy the taste of bird meat. They make no sound at all, which makes them quite difficult to react to, as, more often than not, you only notice them when they are within attacking range. They have the uncanny ability to spit fireballs, for no apparent reason and their eyes are as dark as the midnight skies. Should you ever meet one or one of it's relatives, you are wholly advised to kill it on sight as it is a nuisance to both adventuring as well as a nuisance to local populations who are beset at all times by these predatory hooligans.
Name: One-Eyed Ne'er Do Good (Est Oculis Ulla Bona). Habitat: Surface. It's vision is too poor for anywhere else. Mannerisms: Makes strange farting noises. Quite rude. Demeanour: Aggressive and territorial, but poor depth perception makes it an easy foe. Notable Features: Single eye, green "Gloves" and "Socks", puffy tail, no mouth. Unlike it's relative, the 100-Eyed Ne'er Do Well, the One-Eyed Ne'er Do Good is an appalling combatant, who will constantly leap right over your head, due to misjudging the intended leap. It is quite hilarious and makes this predator laughable, at best. One wonders how this creature even survives on the surface, when it is such a poor hunter. This member of the Oculis family seems to have much brighter markings and it's pustule-like food reserves are replaced with green "Tiger Stripes". Should this beast ever meet a Tiger, I would expect him to want his stripes back, for such shameful hunting performances. How it eats, I'll never know, as it lacks a mouth, in it's entirety. Baffling.
Name: Lordrex (Dominusaurus Rex). Habitat: The surface, where it can oversee it's kingdom. Mannerisms: Appears to be some kind of devolved humanoid. Is social to others in it's species. Demeanour: Territorially aggressive in the extreme and very powerful. Notable Features: Ogre-like stature, primitive armour, ornate headpiece, green skin, large claws, spikes all along it's body. This creature is perhaps the most spectacular that I have come across in all my travels yet. It will congregate in small numbers, sometimes alone, along a large stretch of the planet that it presumably controls with it's kinsmen. It seems to have some sort of authoritative control over other life forms on the surface, as it's roar draws other creatures to it's aid, regardless of their species. The only time it makes noise is when it approaches another within it's species and it sounds almost like gruff talking. These are the Kings and Queens of the rainforest and, as such, display formidable power, capable of sending unwary adventurers flying off into the distance with a single hay maker. It appears to be wearing some sort of primitive armour, in the form of plate greaves, which look as if they are crafted from some description of bone. The head dress they wear is not part of their heads and is, as has already been mentioned, a head dress, possibly to signify their power to would-be aggressors. A very frightening, but intriguing specimen.
Name: Snoodephant (Monstrum Naribus) Habitat: Mostly on the surface. Mannerisms: Makes farting noises when provoked, quite comical. Demeanour: Mildly aggressive, surprisingly agile. Notable Features: Eye on tail, trunk-like nose, stegosaurus-like appearance. This creature is a strange one and I am not quite able to collect any feelings about this particular creature. Part of me wants to laugh, as it farts when it attacks. Another part of me is frightened, because it is quite a formidable creature. It literally has eyes on the back of it's head, at least in a sense, which I suppose is for the best, considering it is perpetually squinting. Truly, a strange creature that I have almost no words for.
