Story Final Hours

Discussion in 'Winter Holiday Contest' started by Mathew Goddard, Dec 29, 2012.

?

did you enjoy the story of the orb? and it's corrupting powers?

  1. no, it was horrible

    14.3%
  2. it was bad but not terrible

    14.3%
  3. it was okay

    14.3%
  4. It was quite good

    57.1%
  5. it was great

    14.3%
  6. I loved it

    28.6%
  1. Mathew Goddard

    Mathew Goddard Aquatic Astronaut

    Daily log 264: I record this in what seems to be my final hours in this universe, it started exactly 261 days ago when we found the 'artifact' on a floating rock we had found floating in space, it looked to be like an orb but I am no longer sure as a first touch the strange markings on it began to glow a mesmerizing purple, as I am the lead scientist of the star fleet Irora i decided i would study it, as it was obviously more than it seemed to be... i was right. Here is one of my previous recordings on when i discovered an intriguing secret that it held "Daily log 42: Fascinating, absolutely fascinating some of the sections of the orb can be pushed in and locked in place, this can only mean that there is more to this orb than i first thought, i must find out more!" i should have stopped this... was alive, or at least held something alive inside, i have another recording of the following day that will shed in some more detail "Daily log 43: Hhhmm... it seems the plates on the orb must be pressed in, in a certain order for something to happen as when i press in 2 specific plates in order they both lock in and glow, but when i press another they disperse and give off a rather strange dust..." this... dust was what did all of this, no one noticed at first but that was because the... symptoms were only slight, but then 5 weeks later one of the other ships went dark, no communication or anything so we sent out an investigation team, an 'unarmed' investigation team... Here is the recording "no sign of any life... strange there is blood but no bodies and the O2 supply mains are cut, no slashed! whatever did this was no friend of ours... *bang* what the! wha...what was that? *gargle* Lieutenant what is that thing! Run! *strange loud screech* Oh god get it off!!!! AAAAaaaaaaaggggggghhhhhrrrrrrrr!!!! no private!! *blood splatter* uuugghhh... *white noise*" It was horrible, there were no survivors at least thats what we were told and i believe it those things are merciless, it was the dust that truned those men into savage beasts, those beasts were the entire crew of that ship! and it was my fault that they were slaughtered. a month later a few of our crew began to fall ill of high fever and signs of dark blue scales growing on their skin, and then before long the entirety of our crew were ill but... not me... i was immune somehow, somehow my contact with the orb had granted me immunity, then 3 months later i had figured out the orbs plates and as i pressed them all in it sent out a corrupting wave, then a few moments later i heard screams down the corridor, there were blood splatters all over the walls, then the power went out... complete darkness and random screams, i ran back to my lab and found 3 of the creatures around the orb, they were absorbing it's power they were becoming stronger, i ran to the closet and that is where i have stayed since then, but now all i can hear is them pacing up and down the corridor whispering "come out we'll find you anyway... and thanks for awakening us..." it was me i did this and now they are going to kill me, if anyone finds this recording and the orb... destroy it or it will destroy you. I will now face the consequences of my actions. *sliding door* "found you!" *blood splatter* AAAAAAAAgggggrrrrrhhhh!!!! *splatter* uuugh arrrgghh *white noise*
     
    Irora and DarkEspeon like this.
  2. Neatski

    Neatski Subatomic Cosmonaut

    As good as this was, it isn't Winter/Holiday Themed.
     
  3. Mathew Goddard

    Mathew Goddard Aquatic Astronaut

    Fair enough, i'll add snow next time :D but thanks anyway
     
  4. Alucard I

    Alucard I King Homestuck I

    Great story! If only devs made it into a quest... Main quest...
     
    Mathew Goddard likes this.
  5. Mathew Goddard

    Mathew Goddard Aquatic Astronaut

    Thanks, i spent ages thinking of a story then i forgot to make it christmasy :D lol
     
  6. That is the tiniest writing on this forum, I think...
     
    Garneac likes this.
  7. Garneac

    Garneac Phantasmal Quasar

    [​IMG]Agreed. And there's no reason why it should be like that.
    [​IMG]Did you change it, Mathew Goddard? I read this on my phone earlier, and maybe the device somehow compensated for the small print—but if not, if you decided, for whatever reason, that this miniscule font was a good decision, I sincerely suggest you change it back to something reasonable.
    [​IMG]Anywho, if you don't plan on making the story conform to the contest's guidelines, then it really shouldn't be here. As such, ask a mod to move it over to the fan-fiction section. If you do plan on changing it to meet the requirements, then best of luck.

    [​IMG]EDIT: I've been meaning to ask you, Goddard, about the following excerpt:

    [​IMG]I'm not sure if I'm reading this incorrectly, but if the main character knows s/he's at fault for releasing the dust, why then would s/he continue to tinker about with the artifact? Seems like the most logical thing to do would be to toss it back out into space where you'd found it. Or destroy it, if possible.
    [​IMG]But tampering with it knowing full what it caused the slaughter... That's a suspension of disbelief I'm not willing to allow.
    [​IMG]Then again, like I said, maybe I've read the story wrong!
     
  8. Neatski

    Neatski Subatomic Cosmonaut

    Maybe the orb corrupted his mind to keep tinkering with it, or something or other
     
  9. Garneac

    Garneac Phantasmal Quasar

    [​IMG]Unfortunately, that's conjecture. There's nothing in the story to suggest that. Although I'd accept that line of reasoning if it was included!
     
  10. Mathew Goddard

    Mathew Goddard Aquatic Astronaut

    Guys the entire story is recorded on a tape, and the character is going over all their past mistakes, the character did not know it was their fault until all of the madness went down and everybody died, i realised shortly after posting this that i forgot to meet the requirements of the contest
     
  11. Mathew Goddard

    Mathew Goddard Aquatic Astronaut

    I am going to create another story soon "The Christmas Gift" this is to make up for creating one that did not meet the requirements of the contests, I will be putting a similar amount of effort into the next one as i did this, so if you did in fact enjoy this then you will probably enjoy the next.
     
  12. Irora

    Irora Void-Bound Voyager

    The force is strong in this one :yoda:
     

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