[FanFic] Diaries of a Joja Corp Franchisee: The Later Years

Discussion in 'Fan Works' started by ShneekeyTheLost, Dec 16, 2016.

  1. ShneekeyTheLost

    ShneekeyTheLost Master Astronaut

    Well, hello there again everybody. I know, it's been a while, but I have returned with a new installment on my series. Since the business model depicted in the previous series would have been significantly impacted by the 1.1 update, I've decided to continue with their story, and how they handle the changes.

    To recap: When last we left our intrepid entrepreneur, he was in a pretty good spot. He played Morris at his own game, and went from practically penniless to a technical millionaire in one year. Along the way, he also got the girl, and married Penny, the local tutor for the children and all-round shy sharp cookie, and had established a winery. Rediscovering an ancient fruit from some seeds he found which were still viable, he force-grew them in his greenhouse, encouraging them to take over the whole place. The profits were amazing, the wife was amazing, life itself was amazing.

    But now, times are changing. Can he change with them? Or will his new business fail, like so many other startups?

    As a certain hyperactive dwarf of an admiral once said: Strategy should never depend on a path to victory, but setting up a circumstance in which every path ultimately leads to victory. You will often hear the phrase 'don't put all your eggs in one basket', and investment advisors will always harp on about 'diversification of assets within a portfolio'.

    To some extent, these are buzz phrases which should be taken with a large grain of salt. While diversification of assets can help avoid being subject to a particular stock's decline, it also largely keeps you from doing better than 'average' and can actually inhibit growth. However, this much I can take away from them: Flexibility is paramount.

    A flexible business model is one which can take advantage of any fluxes which might occur around it, and to 'ride the wave', no matter what direction the market goes. After all, if the stock market drops... well, that's the perfect time to buy, right? There's always an opportunity to be made any time change happens, for those who are flexible enough to be able to take advantage of it and open-minded enough to see the opportunity when it comes knocking.

    When the inevitable change happened, it hit my business model right in the teeth. The core underpinning of my business took several synergistic hits. First off, my distributor, JojaCorp, tightened their belts and reduced the bonuses on organic artisan goods. Second off, the glut in the market tanked fruit and berry prices across the board, as well as produced made from them. Considering I was a winery... this was hitting a little too close to home.

    Some might have pissed and moaned about their poor luck. Many went out of business entirely, being unable to sustain themselves after the hit to their profit margin. Quite a few franchisees were unable to meet their licensing fees and were repo'd. But as for myself? I decided to think outside the box.

    Of course, I was a married man now. I couldn't just unilaterally make decisions anymore. I had to go over them with my partner in life. Fortunately, Penny is quite the sharp tack. Maybe not as scientifically brilliant as Maru is, but quite intelligent enough to be an equal partner in the business. And so, when we broached the topic, she got just as involved in it as I had hoped.

    I was going to need her help if we were going to make a brighter future for ourselves.
     
    • ApertureGaming011

      ApertureGaming011 Scruffy Nerf-Herder

      YOU'RE CONTINUING THIS?! This is a dream come true!
       
      • Minimanta

        Minimanta Spaceman Spiff

        Ooh, this is going to be interesting :)
         
        • ShneekeyTheLost

          ShneekeyTheLost Master Astronaut

          Chapter 1

          The farmer and his wife Penny were spending an evening cuddled on the couch watching TV. The fire in the fireplace was more decorative than anything, now that Spring was rapidly approaching, but it did lend a homey air to the house. The news on the TV, however, was one which had Penny concerned.

          "...in financial news, consumer goods took a shot on the chin, and JojaCorp stock dipped nearly thirty points as the National Treasury Bureau announced their findings. With the expansion in berry farming, a glut on the market has sharply dropped prices on all berry related goods, which is significant concern for entrepreneurs and franchisees who had just gotten into the business. Failure rate for entrepreneurs was always fairly high, although failure rate of franchisees were always lower, but this glut is threatening to drive first and second year berry farms into bankruptcy before they can ever get established. We go now live to Kate on the scene..." I turned off the TV, and Penny gave me a concerned look.

          "Hon? Ummm... how is this going to affect your plan. Are... are we..." the concern, perhaps even fear, was plain to see, so I gave her my best reassuring smile.

          "Not to worry, my dear. My business model had always been flexible. I picked fruits because they were the most profitable, and got in early enough that we're already firmly established. However, if they become unprofitable, we can always shift focus. I'll bet I could make a Bierhaus every bit as successful as a yuppie snobbish winery. It's gonna require a lot more casks, of course, but that's just something to talk to Robin about."

          "Well, yes, but you just put all that money down on those barns and cattle, which aren't even adult yet. Aren't... umm... aren't you worried about any short-term deficits as you shift the business model? I mean, according to those books, that's a very vulnerable part of a business' transition." That was one reason I loved her so. She actually had quite the brain, and her studies in the financial field left her competent enough to raise questions like this.

          "It is, and I have given it some thought, but we have more than enough financial reserves to see us through, and the cows are, if anything, going to be more profitable with the new dynamic. It is going to take some doing, though. But I have a plan that I'd like to run by you if you don't mind."

          "Oh, yes, if it's anything like the plan you had about Morris, this I have to see."

          "Well, nothing so devious, but let's see... ahh, here we go. Let's transition to the kitchen table, I have some plans and drawings here for you." Reluctantly, she unwraps her arms from him, with him being every bit as reluctant to let her go, however temporarily. They had just been married less than a season ago, after all, but it was important to share these sorts of things with your spouse, your wife. That word still gave him a silly, goofy grin every time it crossed his mind. Sam was obviously a bit disappointed when the announcements were made, but he's been surprisingly chill about it ever since. The couple make their way to the kitchen table and plot their next move.

          "There's been some interesting advances in force-growth of tropical fruit trees in greenhouses lately, and I ran some numbers. Peaches or Pomegranates are really profitable right now... honestly, even more profitable than the ancient fruit I rediscovered. Unfortunately, the initial reaction to it wasn't as amazing as I had hoped, but perhaps that's simply the economy of the times. But Pomegranate wine is going to be an amazing seller. While not as high per-item, we make up for it in spades with volume, since we get a bushel a day per tree to turn into wine. And if we want to shift gears from winery to brewery, we're going to need lots of hops. Which means most of that ancient fruit is actually going to have to come up." I laid out the spreadsheets, and pulled up the price comparison sheets I'd compiled and laid them out for her to consider. She studied them every bit as intently as I did, but her initial comment was to the more immediate concern.

          "Oh, that's a shame. You spent so much time and work propagating it over the winter. It takes so long to grow, are we just going to let all that go to waste?" Even her pout was cute, it almost distracted one from the mind behind it. But she did raise a valid point that had to be addressed.

          "You do have a valid point, dear, but I suppose it can't be helped. And it's not like we're abandoning it entirely, we'll still be making Ancient Fruit Wine, but it'll be more of a sideline than a main business model now. But we need to make room for the enormously more profitable fruit trees and hops. Here, I've drawn out a map of our greenhouse to show you what I mean. Because hops grow on trellis, I've had to space them out to give me room to squeeze between them. Which is precisely where I can continue growing ancient fruit. But if I can get all these trees in, and the hops... well, the ancient fruit is going to be the minority. Fortunately, that means I can re-purpose most of those kegs immediately. I'll still need to be making a ton more, and I need some place to store them. Which is where Robin comes in. Maybe she can come up with some sort of warehouse building for us. Also need to talk to her about an aging cellar. Wine is best aged, and that is best done below ground."

          "How many more kegs? Oh... here's the numbers. Hmm... that's a lot of kegs. Can we really produce them that quickly?"

          "Well, with our oak tree stand currently being tapped, we've got enough oak resin to keep the supply going. Remember, they don't just stop producing resin, and we were hitting our initial target of kegs anyway. This just means we continue harvesting the resin at the same rate we already are and continue producing kegs. Here's the figures..."

          "Hmmm... true, but if these numbers are correct, you stand to minimize your losses, and even slightly come out ahead of where we were in profit per season from the greenhouse. But what about outside in the yard?" Penny, always the sharp one, had been hitting the books and had practically earned the equivalent of a degree in accounting, she could read the numbers quite readily, and was greatly reassured that I wasn't just whistling dixie.

          "Good question. Spring is going to be Strawberries. I don't have any seeds now, but I can pick some up at the egg festival, so next year going forward it's all strawberries. Until then, I found some coffee beans I can try. No telling how profitable they're going to be yet, but they were effectively free since I found them in the mines. To supplement that, we can grow Rhubarb. Here's the projections."

          Penny studied the numbers intently "Looks good on paper, anyway. Coffee is low per-yield profit, but high number of yields, Rhubarb is the opposite. And the rhubarb should come up just as the strawberries become available for planting. Sounds like a good pairing to me. Gonna brew the beans into coffee?"

          "I dunno. I don't want to step on Gus's toes. Was figuring on selling the beans directly to Pierre, who would then probably sell them to Gus. The extra money we'd get out of selling coffee is fairly minimal since Joja won't give me organic artisan bonus on brewed coffee."

          "Yea, but that bonus dropped after all this crap happened, won't the additional profits make up for it?" The fact that she was using at least mildly strong language was an indication that she was far more concerned than she let on. I guess she took the negative example of her foul tempered and foul mouthed mother to heart.

          "Oh, not really. I mean, sure, we'd make at least some more money, but that's gonna take up additional kegs that we need desperately for our brewing. From a profit perspective, ale is going to be far more profitable than coffee, and the pomegranate wine is going to be more profitable than either. And by the time we get enough kegs to be able to have extras for brewing coffee, we'll be into the next year, which means we'll just be brewing strawberry wine. In the meantime, I sell to Pierre, who probably sells it right over to Gus. I'd cut out the middle man and sell directly to Gus, but I don't want to piss off the primary supplier for my seasonal seeds." I took a moment to step back and just observe the area. It was probably not normal to consider cozied up with your wife over spreadsheets spread on the kitchen table under lamplight to be romantic, but I suppose she could make anything romantic just by being there. Besides, spending time with your spouse under lamplight, even if it is discussing necessary monetary issues, is never time wasted. The look on her face indicated she was going to broach a more sensitive topic, so I just gave her a raised eyebrow.

          "You know, that wizard came by again today." Her voice was hesitant and uncertain. She was still very reserved, even though she knew that I wasn't abusive like her mother. She knew this was a topic I didn't much care for, I'd been dodging that old hippie for a most of the winter, but I suppose I couldn't blame the messenger.

          "And that old fraud can just take himself off of my property." his snort was emphatic enough "I swear, that one brew he gave me had me seeing pink elephants. I don't know what he's cooking up over there, Marnie's complained about the smells enough times. May want to avoid his place entirely while taking the kids out into the woods. Mind you, I've got no objections to teaching the kids about nature while actually in nature, but that old guy gives me the skeevies. I don't want anyone getting hurt."

          "Look, I know you and he don't see eye to eye, and you don't trust him, but... there really are things out there that science cannot explain. Would you please at least talk to him?" I was, by no means, immune to those chibi eyes. Maybe some day, I would be able to resist them, but today was not that day. So, with a heavy sigh, I nodded.

          "Talk? Fine. If it'll get him to go away. But I am not going to be buying any 'magic beans' from him."

          "That's all I ask, dear. Now, it's getting late come to bed. Please?"

          The rest of the evening was... much more pleasant. Eventually the fire on the hearth died down to a glowing bed of coals, and eventually the two got to sleep. Eventually.
           
            Alkanthe, Risukage, Minimanta and 2 others like this.
          • Risukage

            Risukage Giant Laser Beams

            *Throws confetti and glitter.* Freakin' yes. :3
             
              ApertureGaming011 likes this.
            • Pudassassin

              Pudassassin Hard-To-Destroy Reptile

              Good beginning so far, nice work!
               
              • ShneekeyTheLost

                ShneekeyTheLost Master Astronaut

                Chapter 2

                The dawn saw me rising to take care of things, but first I had a moment of reflection. A year ago today, I first showed up here. Good lord what a mess it was. I was broke, up to my eyeballs in debt, the yard looked more like a jungle, the trees and weeds had overgrown the whole lot. In that one year, I'd cleared out the lot, established a plot to grow on, had a hundred and twenty kegs and thirty-something preserves jars to process stuff in, had money coming in hand over fist, and... well... I got a beautiful woman to wake up next to. I'd call that a job damn well done.

                After the couple... er... 'woke up', the farmer went out to the yard. Over the winter, the farm plot which was so carefully outlined in paving stones had weeds and rocks to clear. Once the hard manual labor was done, he ran Deluxe Speed-Gro through the whole place. Some might call that cheating on the 'organic' label, but the stuff is just coral and oak resin, what's not organic in that? After that chore was done, he headed out to the bus stop to hitch a ride out to the Oasis. Pam was there, giving him a knowing look

                "You treatin' my girl right?" she mock-growls

                "Yes'm, to the very best of my ability." Since there was no wiping the silly grin off of my face, might as well use it. To my surprise, she actually chuckled

                "Yea, I remember, back in the day. Before her looser father took off. You keep treatin' her right, now, y'hear? You take off on her, I'll hunt ye down mesself."

                "Understood, ma'am. Trust me, that ain't happening. Besides, you've got my address. You think I'm gonna give up a farm plot worth millions? Oh no, I'm not going anywhere."

                "Good." she snorts, reminding me unpleasantly of a sow who isn't sure if she's gonna take it into her head to charge or not "So, where to?"

                "Oasis. Got to pick up some seeds for spring planting. Got the plot all laid out already."

                "Well, hop aboard." It wasn't long before we were pulling in at the Oasis bus stop. Pausing briefly to collect some coconuts and cactus fruit, I made my way to the little store here.

                "Well howdy, if'n it ain't Pelican Town's newest rising star! How's it going?" Sandy batted her eyes at me as always. Never knew if she was serious or not, but even if she was, I'm not on the menu anymore.

                "Now Sandy, you know I'm a married man now. Lead me not unto temptation, I can find my own damn way." After a beat-pause, we both broke out in laughter "Now, I seem to recall you had some Rhubarb seeds? I need a good cash crop for my farm, they seem reliable enough."

                "Oh sure, right over here..." she may flirt occasionally, but when she goes down to business, she's all no-nonsense.

                Finally, I'd made my selections, and made my way back to the bus, package in hand. Pam just gave me a nod and drove me back without comment. The next few hours were planting and watering. Fortunately, the sprinklers were set up so I only had to manually water the one day. Between the coffee and the rhubarb, the whole field was well planted before I took a break.

                "Hon? You done with the planting?" Penny's voice was practically angelic

                "You have perfect time, dear. Just got done." was my response

                "Good. Made you some iced tea so you can cool off." and while my dear wife can come off as shy and reserved, she had certain points upon which it was not wise to argue with her, proper care and hydration being one of those points. While she could not have been more polite, that was not a request, it was an order best obeyed. Not that I was going to be arguing all that much. A year ago, I was a pencil-pushing desk jocky, and while I had more muscle than I used to, endurance built more slowly.

                "Thank you, dear. I'll rest a bit, but I still need to get to Pierre's before he closes."

                "So, when are you going to talk to that magician?"

                When hell freezes over? No, can't say that. Hmmm... "First day of the season is always my busiest, love. Especially when I'm shifting my entire business model. Give me a week until things settle down around the farm." I temporized. It was, after all, nothing less than the truth.

                "A week it is, then. I'll let him know." Her tone of voice was light, but firm. Damnit. Outmaneuvered.

                "Is there a reason you're so insistent that I should talk to him?"

                "Because he needs your help. Maybe we all do." she was worried about something, visibly nervous.

                "Fine. But let me get the farm set up for the new model first." I check the time, and frown "Speaking of which, I also need to talk to Robin about a place to store all these kegs we're going to need, and maybe a cellar as well for aging casks. Don't worry, I'll be back by dark." We kissed briefly, although a part of me was reluctant to let it remain brief, and headed out to the next step in my plan.
                 
                  Last edited: Dec 20, 2016
                • Risukage

                  Risukage Giant Laser Beams

                  Time to visit the purple cowboy. Hope he has better refreshments that some weird hippie drink this time!
                   
                    ApertureGaming011 likes this.
                  • ShneekeyTheLost

                    ShneekeyTheLost Master Astronaut

                    Chapter 3

                    Pierre's was about as busy as it always had been. Morris hadn't pulled any jerk-moves lately. I have my suspicions someone from Corporate 'counseled' him on appropriate business practices. Pierre was actually pretty happy to see me.

                    "Oh, hey, if it isn't the most popular farmer in Stardew Valley! I was expecting you to be beating my door down first thing in the morning like you'd been the past year." He was looking a bit nervous, maybe worried I'd found another supplier or Joja had undercut him or something.

                    "This spring, I decided to go with Rhubarb, which you don't stock, and Coffee beans, which you also don't stock. But don't worry, if you carry any of those strawberry seeds for the egg festival, I'll buy you out for next year's crop. But I was a bit worried you'd be upset with me about... yanno... the whole Joja thing."

                    "Son, you made Morris look like the complete moron he is in front of the whole damn town. If I could afford it, I'd give you a discount just for seeing the look on his face. You could see the exact moment his bloated ego popped by the expression on his face."

                    "Yea, well... he had that coming. Anyway, I came here to talk about fruit trees. Namely, I'm wanting some of those new Dwarf Pomegranates, you know, the ones that can be grown in a greenhouse?"

                    "Oh, right! As a matter of fact, I do have a supply of those." he gave me a somewhat concerned look "I'd heard about the berry glut on the TV, you gonna be okay?"

                    "Oh, sure. I've got enough financial reserves to shift my business model over to one that will be every bit as profitable, if not actually moreso. But I'm gonna need... oh... call it thirty or so saplings. Do you have that many in stock?"

                    "As it so happens, I have almost exactly that many of the new 'pygmy pomegranates'. Just as productive as the regular Pomegranate, half the size. Umm... only problem is that the fruits themselves might be a bit deformed. It's just as sweet inside, in fact it's a bit sweeter, but it's not going to be pretty."

                    "That I'm not worried about. I'm planning on processing it all into wine anyway, so higher fructose content is actually good for me. I've still got a good culture of fermenting yeast as well, it should turn out quite profitable for me. And best of all, it'll be turning them out year-round in that greenhouse. Only problem is that it's gonna need a huge brewing setup to keep up with what they're going to be producing, which is why my next stop is going to be Robin's."

                    "If anyone can figure out how to get your brewing setup under a roof, it'll be her." he agreed "How about this. I can't give you a discount, since my profit margin is so narrow as it is, but you pay for the saplings and after I close up, I'll wheelbarrow them over to your farm, no additional charge."

                    "Done and done, and thank you very much Pierre. I really appreciate it." I handed over the money, probably more money than I spent here all of last year, to be honest, so I didn't feel too bad at not purchasing spring seeds from him this year, and made my way to my next stop.
                     
                    • Risukage

                      Risukage Giant Laser Beams

                      ...So he's growing coffee, strawberries, and pomegranates...

                      *Packs bag for a day trip, checks Google Maps for directions to Pelican Town.*
                       
                        Alkanthe likes this.
                      • ShneekeyTheLost

                        ShneekeyTheLost Master Astronaut

                        And have a two-fer as a holiday gift! Also, I got a new headset to replace the one that broke, so expect to see season 2 of Shneekey's Let's Play on my youtube channel (link found in signature) at the beginning of the new year!

                        Chapter 4

                        I had to hustle to make it to Robin's before she closed her storefront, but I made it just in time, albeit a bit out of breath. From her expression, she was restraining from giving me a motherly lecture on running, but I got my wind back in short order.

                        "Sorry, today's been a busy one, but I'm glad I caught you before you closed. I need to talk to you about building a brewery. We're talking a full-fledged multi-hundred keg facility. Money and resources are no object, but I'm kicking my production to full-on commercial levels, so working out of my backyard just isn't going to cut it anymore. I'm also going to need a cellar to age wine in. Again, I care less about how much it's going to cost than if it can be done right. What can you do for me?"

                        "Hmmm... tall order, that." She gave my request some serious thought for a moment "Well, I suppose we're going to need to expand the house, reinforce the timbers with some real genuine hardwood bracings to have the structural integrity you'll need to put a cellar in. It won't be cheap, and I'm gonna need a pile of hardwood to work with, but on the upside, I can set up a nursery for you. You know, now that you're married and all." she gives me this look that's a cross between 'jewish mother expecting babies from her kids' and a sly, knowing expression "After all... you and Penny are going to eventually have kids, right? Trust me, the nursery rhyme has it only slightly wrong. First comes honeymoon, then comes the baby. Especially as much as you two keep disappearing early." I suppose my blush was quite apparent because when I opened my mouth to object, she stopped me "Oh come now, I've got two kids of my own, and I've been young and in love before. I have a certain degree of experience in the matter. And trust me, since I'm going to have to reinforce your house to build your cellar anyway, we might as well be prepared for it before the inevitable happens. Trying to tack on a nursery after the fact when she's already got a bun in the oven is just going to be a problem."

                        "Err...." To be honest, I hadn't really thought about that. But biologically speaking... she does have a point. Since we're certainly not going to stop that sort of thing, it's practically inevitable that a baby is going to happen sooner or later. And here I thought I had planned for everything. "Okay, fine. You win. Better to have it and not need it than to not have it and need it. How much extra is the nursery going to run me?"

                        "Not a single copper farthing extra, young man. Consider it a wedding gift, if you like. I appreciate a gentleman who plans ahead for these things. Now, we're talking fifty thousand for the home improvements as a whole, plus the hardwood I'll need on hand. I don't have any in stock, so you're going to have to supply all the hardwood."

                        "That won't be a problem, I've been doing some undergrowth clearing in the woods, you know, to reduce the danger of forest fires and to promote a healthy ecology. I've picked up a surprising amount of hardwood doing that, Teak actually. Not enough in the forest to be commercially viable, and I'm certainly not mentioning it to anyone at Joja, but it's mixed in there if you know what you're looking for. There's enough deadfall and stump removal to supply the project."

                        "Well then, put your money down, and I'll get started on it tomorrow. Have the hardwood stacked and available."

                        "Will do. So, what about the facilities for my brewing?"

                        "That's... going to be a different question. Let me think on it while I'm working on your housing issue. I don't think I can really build you a building that big, but we may be able to do something with several smaller buildings, if that's not an inconvenience. I've been working with an idea for a shed that might suit your needs. Large empty building with little to no furnishings, built in the same manner as raising a barn."

                        "Sounds like it could be made to work. Here's your money down for the home improvements, I'll see you tomorrow." I always wondered if she was a bit disappointed that I didn't sweep Maru off her feet and away from her tinkering, but at least she seems to approve of us, so there's that. Maybe she's just mothering to everyone under a certain age bracket. Tell you what, though... if she wasn't married to Steve Erkel's clone brother, I'd have seriously given her some thought. Not anymore, of course. I'm a married man, and have absolutely no intention of straying anywhere. Besides, as small a town as this one is, it's simply impossible to keep a secret like that. Just ask the Mayor.

                        I made it home in time for sunset. Made sure the animals were nice and secure in their respective buildings, then went to go talk to my wife.

                        "Oh, hello there dear. You look bushed." she had a mild look of concern on her face as I dragged myself in. She had already laid out supper.

                        "I feel bushed. Today has been busy. Did Pierre drop off those saplings?" I took my seat at the table and dug in with a will. At this point, I didn't care if it was one of her experiments or not, I was hungry enough to eat almost anything.

                        "Yes, he wheelbarrowed them over by the greenhouse, is that where they are going?"

                        "Yep, they're a special breed that doesn't grow too tall so they'll fit in the greenhouse and produce all year long. While berry prices in general have fallen, pomegranates are still a top profit item. I'll get them planted tomorrow." I paused to shovel in more food. Whatever it was, it was delicious "Mmm... love this. Whatever it is, it's good."

                        "Oh, thank you. I got the recipe from Maru, who got it from her mother. The original recipe was intended for a large family, so I had to cut it down for just us."

                        "Oh my, it's absolutely wonderful. Oh, speaking of Robin, she's going to be by for the next few days reinforcing the house. Oh, umm... and speaking of large families, I figured I'd be a bit... proactive."

                        "And what, precisely, do you mean by that?" She couldn't keep the smile off her face, even if she was a bit suspicious.

                        "Well, unless you wanna stop... you know... entirely..." She gave me a mock-glare "Yea, me either. So, I figure... you know... eventually we're gonna need a nursery. So since Robin is doing home improvements anyway, she's going to add one in. In fact, she's doing it free of charge, since I'm already paying her to reinforce the house in general. She said to consider it a wedding present."

                        "Oh my, that's quite generous of her, I'll have to thank her. And..." the look she gave me was anything but demure "thank you too, for thinking ahead like that. I know you said, that one time, that you wanted a big family, but we really haven't discussed it. And... well..."

                        "To be honest, Robin did give a gentle reminder, but once I thought about it... well... it just made sense. Besides, we keep going on like we are, a large family is kind of inevitable. And since I have no plans of slowing down any time soon... well, yea. So. Better to have it before we need it, and since she's already doing home improvements, she can add it on as primary construction instead of as a hasty add-on later after the fact, so it'll be sturdier anyway."

                        "If you weren't so exhausted, I'd show you exactly how much I appreciate that." We both shifted from the dinner table, and my smirk matched hers.

                        From there? Well... let's just say that I thoroughly demonstrated that I was not, in fact, too exhausted after all.
                         
                        • ShneekeyTheLost

                          ShneekeyTheLost Master Astronaut

                          Well, I *was* going to announce Season 2 of Shneekey's Let's Play Stardew Valley... only that while I have a whole hour's worth of video, the encoding software I use to turn it into .mp4 format optimized for Youtube is deciding that since it got an upgrade, it's too cool to work anymore. Oh, and no un-upgrading either. Apparently that's not allowed. And I started creating a mod as well, and kinda hit a blunt wall that probably indicates I need to stop coding because the answer is blindingly obvious and right in front of my face. So, that's pretty much been my day: getting absolutely nothing accomplished and spinning my gears.

                          I will have the next chapter tomorrow. Hopefully.
                           
                            Risukage and ApertureGaming011 like this.
                          • Risukage

                            Risukage Giant Laser Beams

                            *Pats on shoulder.*

                            Coding is simultaneously rewarding and a pain in the ass; on one hand you get to build the framework upon which things run, which is so freakin' cool, but on the other, simple crap like using a colon instead of a semicolon or forgetting to close an "if" statement can make the whole thing go pear-shaped and you don't see it until after a night of sleep and two cups of coffee.

                            Or some smug dingus who drops by to have a look 'cause THEY'RE not the ones who've been staring at it for the last four hours and therefore don't have tunnel vision. :p
                             
                            • ShneekeyTheLost

                              ShneekeyTheLost Master Astronaut

                              Sorry for the lack of attention. Things have been a bit... hectic. But hey, that's life, sometimes.

                              Chapter 5

                              With hardwood stacked at dawn, and sprinklers just beginning to kick on, Robin arrived with tools in hand. Of course, we weren't going to have a whole lot of privacy over the next few days, but that's a small price to pay, when all is said and done. Leaving her to the job, I go to the greenhouse and start my renovations.

                              Fruit trees needed a huge amount of space. Which, unfortunately, meant the whole plot was going to have to come up. It was a shame, true, but I had a whole harvest in a bin waiting to be re-planted, so it wasn't a total loss. It was, however, laborious work, on hands and knees, pulling up stubborn taproots. Then tilling the ground up with some of what the cows leave in bulk quantities behind them, and finally getting started on planting the trees, carefully and exactly spaced out. I even had to shift out the sprinkler system, but fortunately the saplings didn't need all that much water at this stage.

                              Taking care of the animals was the next chore, then letting them out to graze, and with a brief glance up at the angle of the sun, headed off to the forest. Out by the pond with the docks, was my lovely wife, and a picnic spread for us. Her expression as she saw me, the way her face and eyes lit up, was something I sincerely hoped would never change. "Oh good, you made it! I... I was beginning to worry."

                              "Yea, those ancient fruits? They've got freekin' foot-deep taproots to haul up. Must be why it takes 'em so long to start bearing fruit. But I got 'er done. All the saplings have been planted. Granted, it's gonna be a whole season before they start bearing fruit, but that's nothing we haven't dealt with before. And that also gives me time to wait for Hops starters to become available at the beginning of summer to finish everything else. I'll be getting another set of thirty preserves jars down as soon as Robin and I can hammer out some kind of structure to put them in."

                              "Ahh, fancy meeting you two here." the most unwelcome voice spoke up from behind. Out of respect for my wife, I restrained my temper. Barely.

                              "Do you mind? I'm having a picnic with my wife, since our house is undergoing renovations." In other words: beat it, bub. Unfortunately, he is either too stupid (my bet) or too stubborn (also possible) to take the hint. Penny was also giving him that cute little frown that I am very grateful is not aimed my direction.

                              "Well, I do apologize for disturbing the domestic bliss, and I realize that I perhaps may be rushing things a trifle, but there is an extremely urgent matter that cannot be delayed."

                              "Right. Pull the other one, it plays 'Yankee Doodle'."

                              He sighs, also visibly frustrated "Look, you. I am well aware of your ignorant and closed-minded stubborn refusal to acknowledge anything your oh-so-precious 'science' can't quantify, but unfortunately, we have to operate in the world which actually exists, not simply in the one you'd prefer. And we have a major problem."

                              "Okay, a major problem. Fine. Like what?"

                              "Well, that's a somewhat more sensitive nature. Er... perhaps we could discuss this in a less public venue?"

                              "You're the one who butted in here. If you've got something to say, then say it. Otherwise, take a... number." It was with great control did I say 'number' and not 'hike' as I wanted to. But, alas, I do not think my wife would have approved entirely.

                              "Very well then, if you insist. The matter is in regards to my... er... well, my ex."

                              "Wow, there's a shocker for you. But really, you're not getting a dime out of me, find some other way to make your alimony payments." I was so not going to get hustled by this dirty old fraud.

                              The reddening of his face was almost worth the annoyance of the interruption. Almost. "Why you insufferable little..." He stewed for a moment before continuing "You blithering idiot! She's one of the most powerful witches this region has ever seen, and is going to start taking her ire for me out on everyone in Pelican Town."

                              Not impressed, I just snorted "So, a witch, eh? Complete with the wart on her nose and green skin, I suppose?"

                              "Er... well... actually"

                              "Heh, lemme guess... she caught you with someone else, didn't she?" From the way his expression went from beet red to pale as a sheet white, I knew I had it dead in black. "HA! Knew it. Lemme guess, there's a reason why Abigail's hair is your exact shade, isn't there?" From observing Pierre and Caroline, I knew their relationship was... a bit rocky. And I knew for a damn fact that she wasn't at all satisfied with him. It wouldn't have taken much for a sweet talker to convince her to relax a little. Putting one and one together isn't exactly rocket science, after all.

                              "You... you... you..." he takes a moment to regain control "You keep that libelous excuse for a train of thought to yourself, if you know what's good for you."

                              "Hey, it's no skin off of my nose. Do keep in mind, however, that I catch you sniffing around Penny, and assuming she doesn't castrate you first, I will make sure there's not enough left to feed the slimes."

                              "Is that a threat, young man?"

                              "No, it's a promise. See if I don't. Now, why should we care about your flagrant violations of the sanctity of marriage or the obviously intelligent woman who wouldn't put up with it? What's she gonna do to us?"

                              "What can't she do? She's a very powerful witch. And, getting to the actual point, she has something of mine I'd like returned."

                              "In other words, she stole something of yours, and you want me to steal it back. Damnit, Jim, I'm a farmer, not a cat burgler."

                              "Nothing so crude as that, although I suppose needs must when the devil drives. I just want it back, however you have to manage it."

                              "All right, so where is this stuff you want back?"

                              "Well, you know that statue out behind the train station?"

                              "Yea... goofy looking thing, looks like a chicken got funky with an apiary, with a hole in the middle?"

                              "One day, young man, that mouth of yours is going to write a check you won't be able to cash."

                              "And when that happens, it'll happen. So, what about that statue."

                              "Well, you may or may not have noticed, but it won't budge, not for you, nor for anyone else. At least, not without a particular amulet. I sealed off the entrance with that statue to keep her from wreaking havoc, but she seems to have obtained a flying broom to bypass that seal."

                              "And the item you want is on the other side."

                              "Precisely."

                              "Okay, so why do you need me? Undo your seal, get your stuff, Mr. All Powerful Wizard."

                              "In a fit of pique, I tossed the amulet into the sewer. From there, it flowed... I know not where, but likely somewhere incacessable to myself. But, for someone who has braved the skull caves, perhaps not so great a challenge as all that. Get the amulet, return my enchanted inks, and you will be well rewarded. Permit her to unlock their secrets... and we may all be doomed."

                              "Right. I'll get right on that." Sarcasm dripped from my words like grease off a double-quarter-pounder. "Because trekking through sewers is such a fun occupation. You know, as if the caves weren't dangerous enough."

                              "I told you that you would be well rewarded, and you will be. Just please, don't let your dislike for me deter you from acting swiftly on this matter."

                              "I'm rather busy at the moment trying to ensure my family's continued survival by shifting business models drastically after the changes in the economic environment. Once I'm done with that... I'll see what I can do."

                              "Then I suppose that's the best I should expect from a greedy Joja rep." He gives a sniff of distain, then turns around, cloak flowing around him, and creates a cloud of smoke. Easy enough to hide the squib in those robes, and of course he was gone by the time the smoke cleared. Walking at a sedate pace would be enough for that.

                              "Dramatic old coot. Pardon, unfaithful old coot. Sheesh."

                              Penny just gives me that puppy-dog expression "Look, I know you two get on each other's nerves, but I... I knew her. You know, before she left. She really is quite powerful. And really was quite mad, although that was probably because of... umm... well," she blushed "supposedly, she walked in on them. You know, in the middle of 'things'. In her bed, of all places. While he may or may not deserve it, if she blames the whole town, we could be in a whole lot of trouble. So please... don't just blow this off."

                              "All right, for you, if not for him. I'll see what I can do. Even if it means trudging through a stinking sewer."

                              While her nonverbal response was enthusiastic, we were in too public a location to get as carried away as we'd both like. Still, it was at least... enjoyable.
                               

                              Share This Page