RP Dualstuck

Discussion in 'Role Playing' started by Ikbenbeter, Jun 19, 2013.

  1. GravityFlux

    GravityFlux Guest

    >NEIL: Stealth your way in to your Bro's room
    You quietly move through the rather short corridor stealthily, not making much of a noise. The corridor has two side tables, and both are covered in models of game, anime and book characters. Damn, there a lot. But, on an area where the two tables meet, theres a metal raised platform..... with a figure of God. A God named Kamina.
    >NEIL: Captchalogue figure
    Why? But then again, its a good luck thing. You kick the table, causing the figure to fly in the air. You then grab it, and captchalogue it.
    K+A+M+I+N+A
    1+2+3+4+5+6
    There, done.
    >NEIL: Move on
    You decide that you have had enough shenanigans, SICKNASTY as they may be. You walk-
    >NEIL: Not like that.
    Then how?
    >NEIL: Move on, like a HUSS!
    Dammit! You decide to give in to your guiding voice. Imagining there are lasers ahead, you athletically begin your path through the corridor with style. A jump there, backflip there, somersault, slide, split legs, dive into the sun, jump, and finally, ITS DONE. HAPPY?
    >NEIL: Examine doors around you
    There are two doors around you. One leads out, to a small elevator, and the other to your living room. From there, you must traverse the Great Horrible Land of Mordor and Haradrim, to reach Mt. Doom, where lie your copies of SBURB. And also, your Bro. Very likely.
    >NEIL: Slowly open door
    Opening the door, you glance into the room. The kitchen, and the sofa are right there! SBURB should be on the kitchen counter, if its come.
    >Gravity: Explain to self why you enjoy murdering the fourth wall, and then bringing it back to life..... just to kill it again.
    What...what are you doing here?! OUT, FOUL RP BEAST!
    >NEIL: Go to and examine kitchen counter
    You sneak in, making sure to look if your Bro isn't standing there. Waiting. Wearing a Death cosplay. He's not. You breath a sigh of relief, and walk towards the counter. Theres no SBURB on it! KHANNNNN! BROOOO! But theres a card on the counter!
    >NEIL: Read it (DUH)
    "Yo, snaggy, the lobby!"
    Dear lord no. He has it.
    >BRO: Make troll face
    Now everyone knows why Neil is such a headache. He was RAISED by one
    >NEIL: TO THE LOBBY!
    You head back on your path, kicking the door open with surprising power. You guess theres no other way. But before that......
    >NEIL: Go to room
    Heading the other way, you run in to your room, and its the same as ever. Except the HellFire poster is gone. This isn't some sort of prank. This is provocation. You quiver in rage, but, like always, your expression stays the same. Damn, those aviators look good on you.
    >NEIL: Access Pesterchum and write something quickly to Lucy
    You dash across the room, with a funny feeling. You grab the mouse, and access Pesterchum
    -- blackjackHunter [BH] began pestering redesignedPerspective [RP] at 14:59 --
    [02:59] BH: Hey, I forgot to tell you something
    [02:59] BH: Happy Birthday, Lucy
    [03:00] BH: And why have you become so... so cold?
    [03:00] BH: You weren't like that before
    -- blackjackHunter [BH] gave up pestering redesignedPerspective [RP] at 15:00 --

     
  2. F-ranko

    F-ranko Heliosphere

    > Be the hero again

    You be the hero again. Sadly, you cannot be a hero right now because there is no one currently being a hero.

    > inspect crash

    And what is this? It seems that our hero has gotten himself into a pretty bad wreck. The snowmobile is twisted all around the back, and the blades are stuck all the way into the ground.

    > Inspect our 'hero'

    You search around for the body of the positively dead young man that was riding this snowmobile a few hours ago. Alas, he, neither alive or dead, is nowhere to be found in the snowmobile's vicinity.

    > Inspect blood on the snow

    Oh, well would you look at that! A trail of blood leading to the old shed. You look inside the shed, only to find the young man's adult female guardian sitting by a fire cradling her broken leg. Wow, she looks toasty in there. She certainly won't have any trouble surviving until he finds her.

    > Be Chet already.

    You don't want to listen to this bullshit. You want to find out what happens next in the story. And why is the text white? That color sucks. It's like, not even colorful at all.
    FINE. BE THAT WAY. I HAD IMPORTANT STUFF TO SAY TOO, BUT BY ALL MEANS. RETURN TO THAT DUMBASS. ALSO WHITE IS FOR THE SAKE OF BEING ANONYMOUS. NO GO. GO BACK TO YOUR SILLY STORY.

    > Be the hero idiotic douchebag

    You are so cold. You have never been this cold in your life. You wonder why you are so cold. What is the last thing you remember? You remember flying off the fucking handle when you tried to make your first turn in the snow. Shit, that's gonna be embarrassing to explain. You wake up to find yourself facefirst in a snow bank with a bloody nose and a bruised leg. Thank god nothing's broken. You poke your head out to inspect the outside area. Hey, look! A break in the blizzard! This could be your only chance to relevantly search.

    > Chet: Inspect crash

    The moral of this story is that inexperienced drivers should never act irresponsibly, as this can and will cause many accidents in the future.
    It's a good thing you wore your helmet. You guess you should have worn your seatbelt.
    But yeah, looks like you won't be riding that thing anytime soon. Oh shit, the blizzard is picking up again. Better hurry this up. You inspect the nearby area for any clues. Hey look, what's that on the ground?
    You find the SBurb Server Disc! Sweet! Now you can successfully play the game! This also means that your sister can't be far.

    > Hurry the hell up

    Yeah, the blizzard is regaining speed. Your field of vision is getting infinitely smaller. You better be quick about the things you do. Very very careful and conscious o all your actions.
    You start running forward at full speed. Suddenly, this moment flashes through your mind. Hehehehehehehe that darn Dark Helmet. What an awesome charac-
    Right as you pass the old shed, you slip and fall flat on your face. Wow, how did that even happen? This is the thickest most engulfing snow you have ever seen. Or not, you guess, cause this snow is slush. What is this you don't even...You inspect the snow more closely and find that the wall of the shed is actually warm. Oh my god, not that place. You walked in there once as a small child. There were so many animal furs. Jesus Christ please no.

    > Enter shed

    You walk slowly and cautiously inside the shed. No matter what you see in here, you are going to keep a straight face and keep your cool. Look at all these animal furs. You scream at the top of your lungs at the immediate sight of a stuffed puma with it's mouth open right in your face. You hear a surprised gasp from over in the corner. Your sister glances up at you with a sigh of relief from over by her small fire.

    > Keep your cool

    You fail immediately to keep your cool. You do not think you have ever cried this hard. Jesus you are not very good at acting tough. You run over and hug your sister as hard as you possibly can. She winces with pain as you tackle her with your sibling love attacks.

    > Finish the daring rescue

    You complete your daring rescue by helping her inside. It was difficult, and there were many times you had to jump out and act as a cushion to break her fall, but it was all worth it when you got to see her safe and sound inside. Man, you feel proud of yourself. This is a pretty good victory.

    > Celebrate

    You dance in the middle of the living room, just outside of the view of your sister.
    THIS IS STUPID AWESOME.

    > Get pestered by Shark

    Yeah, look at that! You have cell service. Looks like Shark is pestering you.

    [09:08] -- underseaCactus [UC] began pestering adamantitePrince [AP] at 21:08 --
    [09:08] UC: Chet.
    [09:08] UC: What happened earlier?
    [09:08] AP: i was freaking the fuck out
    [09:08] AP: Shit happened basically
    [09:08] UC: I noticed.
    [09:09] AP: i had to reinstall pesterchum after my PC crashed
    [09:09] AP: also guess what
    [09:10] AP: i sortof got the server copy
    [09:10] AP: and i got the client copy
    [09:10] UC: So did I! :D
    [09:10] AP: Sweet
    [09:10] AP: However
    [09:10] UC: After an aggressive battle with Pops, I was able to recover it
    [09:10] AP: Cool
    [09:11] AP: So, is your pops ok
    [09:11] AP: Cause my sis is in pretty rough shape
    [09:11] UC: Yeah he's fine. I threatened him by defending myself with the American Flag and he traded me the Server Copy in return for the Flag's safety.
    [09:11] UC: What happened to your sister?
    [09:11] AP: Basically she locked herself out of the house
    [09:12] AP: Like a dumbass
    [09:12] AP: and i had to go rescue her
    [09:12] AP: as i said before, shit happened
    [09:13] AP: and we were in the middle of a blizzard
    [09:13] AP: aND i almost killed myself with this captchalogue modus
    [09:14] UC: My stack modus took the lives of two innocent bottles of Mango Seltzer today :C
    [09:14] AP: Dude why do you even like that stuff
    [09:14] UC: But there's always plenty more.
    [09:14] UC: BECAUSE
    [09:14] AP: it's like not good soda
    [09:14] UC: IT'S FANTASTIC.
    [09:15] UC: That aside..
    [09:15] UC: I have to figure out a way to actually get back up to my laptop.
    [09:15] AP: :l
    [09:15] UC: Once I do that I'll be able to wire the server files to some of the others who don't have the game yet.
    [09:15] UC: And we'll all be able to play.
    [09:15] AP: What happened now
    [09:15] UC: However the aliens need to find a way to adjust the game to work on their operating systems.
    [09:16] AP: The "aliens"
    [09:16] UC: Also I think we may be running against the clock here, somehow.
    [09:16] AP: Do you really believe that shit
    [09:16] UC: I do. Because I've seen them in my dreams.
    [09:16] AP: PPPHHH
    [09:17] UC: They're actually aliens. I know it sounds like bullshit, especially from an astronomy expert like myeslf, but
    [09:17] UC: You'll believe it once we get into the game.
    [09:17] AP: i've seen freaking banana planets in my dreams
    [09:17] AP: Does that mean they exist?
    [09:17] AP: No
    [09:17] AP: No it does not
    [09:17] UC: Anyway..
    [09:17] UC: I also had another hallucination thing again after jumping out my window
    [09:18] AP: Dude, it must be all the seltzer
    [09:18] UC: That could be it. I don't know, though..
    [09:18] AP: it's messing you up, dude
    [09:18] UC: It was the meteor dream again, and it seems that the dreams are becoming more frequent as time passes
    [09:19] AP: Now i will admit,
    [09:19] AP: Meteor dream kinda sounds menacing
    [09:19] UC: It does.
    [09:19] UC: I'm going to go try to move that bookcase out of the way of my bedroom door now.
    [09:19] AP: alright, well, i'll be here for a while
    [09:20] AP: Snow shorted my PC out
    [09:20] UC: I hope your sister is OK, even though you aren't the greatest friends with her..
    [09:20] AP: So i'm having to reinstall everything on a super slow laptop
    [09:20] UC: That's no good. Hopefully you'll be able to run Sburb.
    [09:20] AP: oh, i can run the client disc,
    [09:20] UC: But, yeah, I'll talk to you later.
    [09:20] -- underseaCactus [UC] ceased pestering adamantitePrince [AP][09:08] -- underseaCactus [UC] began pestering adamantitePrince [AP] at 21:08 --

    Aw, you still had stuff to say.
    You check for any more friends to pester. Looks like Lucy is the only one online.
    [03:54] -- adamantitePrince [AP] began pestering redesignedPerspective [RP] at 15:54 --
    [03:54] AP: LUcy
    [03:54] AP: GUEss whAt
    [03:54] RP: You
    [03:54] AP: whAt
    [03:54] RP: You're dead?
    [03:54] AP: nO nO nO
    [03:54] RP: I guessed something/
    [03:55] AP: ...
    [03:55] AP: WEll
    [03:55] AP: Iw As gOIng tO sAy
    [03:55] AP: I gOt bOth thE dIscs
    [03:56] AP: HOw ArE thIngs gOIng On yOUr End?
    [03:56] RP: 0 disks.Zero.
    [03:56] RP: Maybe due to my own fault.
    [03:56] AP: WhAt hAppEnEd
    [03:56] RP: I forgot it on the station :/
    [03:57] AP: Oh wOw
    [03:57] RP: But I guess I'm getting a new set?
    [03:57] AP: DO yOU UndErstAnd hOw lOng It tOOk fOr thEsE dIscs tO gEt hErE
    [03:57] RP: No.
    [03:57] RP: But I have a feeling you're going to tell me.
    [03:57] AP: WhAt I'm sAyIng Is,
    [03:58] AP: It tOOk A lOng tImE
    [03:58] AP: WOn't sEndIng AnOthEr OnE tAkE A lOng tImE tOO
    [03:58] RP: I have no clue how I'm getting thenew set :\
    [03:58] RP: I was toldI get thembysomeweirddude.
    [03:59] AP: OnE Of 'ThE AlIEns'?
    [03:59] RP: I guess?
    [03:59] RP: I haveno clue who it is.
    [03:59] AP: ShArk thInks thEy'rE sOmE sOrt Of AlIEn
    [03:59] RP: But I think he just was on my train?
    [03:59] AP: wUt
    [04:00] RP: His(/her?) tag is HF.
    [04:00] AP: Hmm
    [04:00] RP: Notonline rightnow, though.
    [04:01] AP: WEll, I gUEss I yOU'vE sEEn hIm tOO...
    [04:01] AP: MAybE It wAsn't jUst ShArk hOppEd Up On sEltzEr
    [04:02] RP: Isn't that hisusual state?
    [04:02] AP: :l
    [04:02] AP: WEll yEs
    [04:02] AP: BUT
    [04:02] AP: SOmEtImEs It Isn't
    [04:02] AP: Or sOmEthIng
    [04:02] RP: You mean what he observes is the same as reality?
    [04:02] AP: I'm bEgInnIng tO bElIEvE sO
    [04:03] AP: BUt It's stIll tOO EArly tO tEll
    [04:03] RP: Some would say realityis objectivefrom the get go anyway.
    [04:03] AP: YEs?
    [04:04] RP: Subjective. Damnit.
    [04:04] AP: lOlOlOl
    [04:04] RP: Always confuse those two :I
    [04:04] RP: Anyhow.
    [04:04] RP: Who is going tobe your 'serverplayer'?
    [04:04] RP: Or are you going to be one?
    [04:04] AP: I dOn't knOw
    [04:04] AP: I'm jUst nOw InstAllIng
    [04:05] RP: Ask Shark, he knows shit like that.
    [04:05] AP: AlrIght yEAh, I'll gO dO thAt.
    [04:05] AP: HOpE yOUr SBURB cOpy thIng gOEs AlrIght
    [04:06] RP: Considering my death if it doesn't: yes, let's hope so.
    [04:06] AP: lOl
    [04:06] -- adamantitePrince [AP] ceased pestering redesignedPerspective [RP] at 16:06 --

    Guess you better get to installing Pesterchum.
     
  3. The Demon of Borders

    The Demon of Borders King Homestuck 4.13

    > Hemoss: Flip the FUCK out

    You freak out at the clusterfuck of bad luck your modus just triggered. As a result, the WHISTLE triggers. If only you could keep it cool sometimes.


    > Hemoss: Blow the whistle

    No, that's a horrible idea. Warden's gonna wake up abruptly, fly around the house in fear, bump into the Sendificator and get burned alive.


    > Blow it, please.

    No.


    > BLOW IT YOU FAGGOT

    You ( the voice-y man ) made a dirty joke, so you ( hemoss ) won't listen to you. ( voice-y man )


    > I suggest clearing all of the things your modus expelled.

    Now that's a good idea. You plug the IV back into you, and put the defibrillator back in the medical kit. You captchalogue it under fearful this time.


    > THAT SENDIFICATOR IS STARTING A FIRE.

    Holy shit! You captchalogue it under angry, but the wall and carpet are already ablaze. What the hell are you going to do? The MEDICAL KIT appears.


    > Quickly, grab the essentials and get out of here!

    You captchalogue the medical kit under content, and then put your grubtop under relaxed. You then run out of the building to a safe distance.


    > YOU FORGOT THE WHISTLE, ASSHOLE

    Why would you need the whistle?


    > Your lusus is still in there.

    Oh gog oh gog oh gog oh gog oh gog oh gog


    > EPIC DIVE BACK INTO THE FIRE! MEEDLIMEEDLIMOWWWW!

    That was a terrible onomatopeia for a guitar riff, but you dive back in regardless. You get into your room, grab the whistle and run back out. You blow it before you leap out the door.


    > Back up and watch for your Lusus.

    You take some distance and have your eyes peeled on the door.


    > THERE HE IS.

    Warden flies into view as the roof crumbles onto him. God dammit god dammit god dammit god dammit god dammit
     
  4. > Shark: Return Home.

    Time to go look for that server copy, you suppose. Your friends will need it if you're able to upload the files, and you'll eventually need the disc to get someone else into the game at a later point. The crocodile fellas wave goodbye to you as you prepare to swim back to your island, however tired you may be from your recent battles. Looking back on the waters, it looks as if there's more ice than there was when you first arrived. Could the planet be getting colder? Global Freezing?

    The winds blow against your face as you swim towards your island, and you start to feel a bit dizzy. Maybe swimming back now wasn't such a good idea, but a strong fog has blocked your sight, and you can't even see the Crocodile's island from here, nor your house. There's suddenly a strong current in the water and waves are beginning to form around you. You could've sworn the island was closer than the distance you've swam, perhaps the fog has turned you in the wrong direction? A giant wave behind you suddenly throws you under the sea. You try to swim up, but your sight begins to flicker. You suddenly go unconscious, very strangely and abruptly. Your unconcious body slowly begins to descend into the depths of the sea.

    ===>

    Suddenly you're not underwater anymore. You're above earth again, just like the vision you had after falling from your window back at home. The earth is filled with craters, and a thick layer of ash has formed in the atmosphere. But there seems to be a source of light coming from somewhere down there, lightening the atmosphere of smog in one area.

    The earth is destroyed, and it's all your fault. You just had to play that stupid game. Some of your friends might be dead already, and if they're not, they could face death within the session. You've been telling your friends that you think it's possible everything will go back to normal after the game ends, but you're not even sure about that anymore. Sure it's nice to be optimistic, but with the earth under imminent destruction, your Pops missing, and your friends in danger, you don't see much to be happy about. You can't stand to see this anymore. Why do you have to see these things? Why can't you just not know that bad things are going to happen, and just have hope? The visions tell you of what's becoming of existence, and you're not sure you can stand it any more.

    But you can't close your eyes. For some reason you just can't look away from this destroyed earth. Now the scene shifts. It's another planet, about the size of earth, but the surface is darker and there's a giant, bright, orange-red star outside the planet, making earth's sun look puny. This planet also has craters everywhere, but it seems like it isn't as destroyed as earth. Could this be the troll's planet? So they're destined to play, too..
     
  5. Ikbenbeter

    Ikbenbeter Pangalactic Porcupine

    > Lucy: Stop having internet.

    Hey you're being pestered by Neil oh wait your internet is dead again. What was that?

    > Lucy: Inspect Hooded Figure.

    What hooded figure? There is no Hooded Figure.

    > Lucy: Have internet again and be pestered.

    You notice you have internet again but BH is gone. You get pestered again, this time making it through the whole conversation without losing internet.


    -- adamantitePrince [AP] began pestering redesignedPerspective [RP] at 22:54 --
    AP: LUcy
    AP: GUEss whAt
    RP: You
    RP: You're dead?
    AP: whAt
    RP: I guessed something/
    AP: nO nO nO
    AP: ...
    AP: WEll
    AP: Iw As gOIng tO sAy
    AP: I gOt bOth thE dIscs
    AP: HOw ArE thIngs gOIng On yOUr End?
    RP: 0 disks.Zero.
    RP: Maybe due to my own fault.
    AP: WhAt hAppEnEd
    RP: I forgot it on the station :/
    RP: But I guess I'm getting a new set?
    AP: Oh wOw
    AP: DO yOU UndErstAnd hOw lOng It tOOk fOr thEsE dIscs tO gEt hErE
    RP: No.
    RP: But I have a feeling you're going to tell me.
    AP: WhAt I'm sAyIng Is,
    AP: It tOOk A lOng tImE
    AP: WOn't sEndIng AnOthEr OnE tAkE A lOng tImE tOO
    RP: I have no clue how I'm getting thenew set :\
    RP: I was toldI get thembysomeweirddude.
    AP: OnE Of 'ThE AlIEns'?
    RP: I guess?
    RP: I haveno clue who it is.
    RP: But I think he just was on my train?
    AP: ShArk thInks thEy'rE sOmE sOrt Of AlIEn
    AP: wUt
    RP: His(/her?) tag is HF.
    AP: Hmm
    RP: Notonline rightnow, though.
    AP: WEll, I gUEss I yOU'vE sEEn hIm tOO...
    AP: MAybE It wAsn't jUst ShArk hOppEd Up On sEltzEr
    RP: Isn't that hisusual state?
    AP: :l
    AP: WEll yEs
    AP: BUT
    AP: SOmEtImEs It Isn't
    AP: Or sOmEthIng
    RP: You mean what he observes is the same as reality?
    AP: I'm bEgInnIng tO bElIEvE sO
    AP: BUt It's stIll tOO EArly tO tEll
    RP: Some would say realityis objectivefrom the get go anyway.
    AP: YEs?
    RP: Subjective. Damnit.
    AP: lOlOlOl
    RP: Always confuse those two :I
    RP: Anyhow.
    RP: Who is going tobe your 'serverplayer'?
    RP: Or are you going to be one?
    AP: I dOn't knOw
    AP: I'm jUst nOw InstAllIng
    RP: Ask Shark, he knows shit like that.
    AP: AlrIght yEAh, I'll gO dO thAt.
    AP: HOpE yOUr SBURB cOpy thIng gOEs AlrIght
    RP: Considering my death if it doesn't: yes, let's hope so.
    AP: lOl

    -- adamantitePrince [AP] ceased pestering redesignedPerspective [RP] at 23:06 --


    Of course, you lose your internet connection directly after it.

    > Lucy: Be pestered even though you have no internet.


    -- heavyFire [HF] began pestering redesignedPerspective [RP] at ??? --
    HF: Turn around. I have a surprise.
    -- heavyFire [HF] ceased pestering redesignedPerspective [RP] at ??? --

    -- heavyFire [HF] changed their mood to OFFLINE --


    What was that just about?

    > [S] Lucy: Surprise. Strife.

    You look behind you, and what's that? A tall figure in a white coat with a weird mask and white hands? What on Earth? You have no other option than righteous self defense, and hit it in the face with a flask. Strife time!

    Aggrieve:
    You hit the thing multiple times with your flask, but it just takes no damage. It then retaliates with a horrible Green Blast that knocks you to the other side of the room, but you take little damage and quickly return.

    Abstain:
    You try to wait its next move out, but it just shows you its mask. Wait, why does it have no holes to look through?

    Assault:
    That is what's happening to you! You try to assault it with your flask, but to no avail: it already has assaultrights. Like in fencing.

    Abscond:
    Yeah, you're getting outta here. You Abscond to the last car, but the Hooded Figure follows you.

    > Lucy: Strife in the last car.

    Yeah, hell no. You might get flung from the side. You carefully get around it so your back is turned to the door and Abscond into your car, quickly locking the door. Sucks to be it.

    > Lucy: Ask the only online alien if you just got attacked by one of them.


    -- redesignedPerspective [RP] began pestering duskyDragoknight [DD] at 23:16 --
    RP: Youare an alien,right?
    DD : But forr ¥ou - ¥es.☯
    RP: I've been through this enough. You'renot from Earth, right?
    DD : RRiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight☯
    DD : How did ¥ou guess this?☯
    DD : :eek:☯
    RP: Yourlittle icon? Yourweird way of talking?You've been saying this to me all thetime?
    DD : [Sarrcasm]☯
    DD : An¥wa¥.☯
    DD : What did ¥ou want, Luc¥?☯
    RP: I think I saw an alien today?
    DD : Perrhaps.☯
    DD : Descrribe.☯
    RP: Long. White hands. White cloak. No face.
    DD : Purrel¥ white?☯
    DD : Quadrrupede orr bipede?☯
    RP: bipede
    DD : I ha\/e no idea.☯
    RP: What do you looklike?
    RP: Actually it might have a face.
    RP: It wore a mask.
    DD : I look like ¥ou.☯
    DD : That"s all ¥ou need to know.☯
    RP: Really? Excactly the same?
    DD : Saw some \/ideos about ¥ourr rrace. So ¥es. But ourr skin is a bit darrkerr, and we ha\/e horrns, which ¥ou, mudbloods, don"t.☯
    RP: Horns?
    RP: Where?
    DD : Nipples.☯
    RP: >.>
    DD : Wherre arre horrns supposed to be, stupid human?☯
    RP: I dunno, you're the alien.
    DD : Head. :zzz:☯
    RP: ^:zzz:^
    DD : Such foolishness and cedulit¥.☯
    DD : You must be of a lowerr caste☯
    DD : Is ¥ourr blood rreed?☯
    RP: We stopped doing castes a few centuries ago.
    DD : I asked ¥ou a question.☯
    RP: WTF is rreed?
    DD : RRed is a colorr☯
    RP: Yes, it is. It is a color.
    RP: Why areyou getting so up in arms about blood?
    DD : Instead of ¥ourr stupid equait¥ and democrrac¥, ourr population is di\/ided into castes. That helps us prro\/ide betterr contrrol o\/err communit¥ and prre\/ent warrs. Orr at least I think so.☯
    DD : Li\/ing forr a long time in a ca\/e alone is not good forr ¥ourr health, belie\/e me.☯
    RP: I can imagine.
    DD : Good.☯
    DD : So, back to ourr topic.☯
    DD : I do not know who was that gu¥.☯
    DD : I suppose it"s a ghost.☯
    DD : Trr¥ talking to him.☯
    DD : :\☯
    RP: Ihave beentoo scaredto.I locked him in the last car.
    DD : Check if he"s escaped orr not.☯
    RP: But I'm scared :(
    RP: I already fought with him once and he kicked my ass.
    DD : Now orr ne\/err.☯
    DD : I ha\/e to go.☯
    DD : Yu ha\/e to go too.☯

    -- duskyDragoknight [DD] ceased trolling redesignedPerspective [RP] at 23:38 --


    You are so scared you screw up a little, but whatever. So it is no 'troll', but another mysterious creature of the night. You don't dare to enter the last car, though. You are simply too scared.

    > Lucy: Peek through door.

    You peek through the window in the door. There is no one there.
     
  6. pyromancerLaurentius

    pyromancerLaurentius Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    Lance: Finish your chores
    You finish your chores, just in time to feel several more impacts, slightly closer.
    Lance: Ask Father for guidance
    You ask him, and he tells you to calm down. He's made an executive decision to not open today, because the shower would be too bad for business. You aare slightly peeved that you did some of that work for nothing, but it is of little consequence to you. You go to your room to relax.
    Lance: Pester some chums
    Retrieving your computer again, (GRASS grows in DIRT which makes up HILLS which are common to many DESKTOP BACKGROUNDS for LAPTOPS), you set it back on your desk and plug it back in to its charger. Looking at persterchum, nobody you want to talk to seems to be on. You decide to install the Server disk instead, seeing as you have it.
    [​IMG]
    Oh lord this thing eats RAM like candy, you probably won't be able to do anything else while it's loading.
    Lance: Wait.
    You take out your FEU DE LIS from your POKERKIND specibus and begin play fencing against the air.
    You pause to captchalogue and turn on your ANDROID PHONE. You still think it's stupid that they couldn't come up with a cooler name than that. It's stuck under CALLUSES. That should be fun.
     
  7. The Demon of Borders

    The Demon of Borders King Homestuck 4.13

    > Hemoss: Pester Rakuida


    -- idlingEndeavor [IE] began trolling twistedFacade [TF] at 18:25 --
    [06:25] IE: ramk
    [06:25] IE: my house is on fire
    [06:25] TF: Erm
    [06:25] TF: Ok
    [06:25] IE: warden is dead
    [06:25] TF: 7ha7's 7errible
    [06:25] IE: yea
    [06:25] IE: 8 dunno man
    [06:26] IE: thats an i
    [06:26] IE: i just dunno
    [06:26] IE: what to do
    [06:26] TF: Well, 7he main objec7ive righ7 now is 7o ge7 in7o 7he game
    [06:26] IE: everyyhing is happening so...
    [06:26] IE: fast.
    [06:26] TF: Yes, maybe
    [06:27] IE: i mean
    [06:27] IE: i have no house
    [06:27] IE: i have noa lusus
    [06:27] IE: and im a rainbow drinker
    [06:27] IE: all in basically a day
    [06:27] IE: what the fuck
    [06:27] TF: Keep calm and carry on
    [06:28] IE: at least i got
    [06:28] IE: the important stuff
    [06:28] IE: out of the fire
    [06:28] TF: 7ha7's good
    [06:28] IE: something must have snapped
    [06:28] IE: in me
    [06:28] IE: i thought very clearly
    [06:28] IE: except forgetting warden ofc
    [06:28] TF: Yes
    [06:28] TF: Bu7
    [06:29] TF: You should 7ry and make a makeshif7 shel7er or some7hing and ge7 in7o 7he game
    [06:29] TF: 7here is probably plen7y of 7hings 7o use
    [06:29] TF: If no7, jus7 manage 7o ge7 in7o 7he game
    [06:29] IE: better go raid some houses
    [06:29] TF: Oh yes
    [06:29] TF: You live by a pa7ch of houses
    [06:29] IE: i found w defibrillator
    [06:29] IE: which is great
    [06:29] IE: but
    [06:30] IE: il hit my iv with
    [06:30] IE: the defib
    [06:30] IE: and it launched me
    [06:30] IE: which triggered a broken esndificator
    [06:30] IE: which lit hte fire
    [06:30] TF: Well
    [06:30] TF: Jus7 make do wi7h wha7 you go7
    [06:30] TF: and focus on wha7s 7o come
    [06:31] IE: i dont really have anything
    [06:31] IE: but okay
    [06:31] TF: 7ha7s all 7he advice I can give
    [06:31] TF: S7op worrying and make do
    [06:32] IE: :s
    [06:32] IE: well
    [06:32] IE: i dont got a choice
    [06:32] TF: Yes
    [06:32] IE: know anyone with dsiks yet???
    [06:32] TF: I have 7hem
    [06:32] TF: So does DD
    [06:32] IE: oh shit
    [06:32] TF: Some of 7he humans have 7hem 7oo
    [06:33] IE: wait
    [06:33] IE: i think there was
    [06:33] IE: a cd storeh here
    [06:33] IE: if i get blanks cds
    [06:33] IE: i can maybe
    [06:33] IE: copy the game for every1
    [06:33] TF: Sure
    [06:33] TF: You can 7ry
    [06:33] IE: i can give it
    [06:33] IE: a shot
    [06:33] IE: if everyone gets in
    [06:33] IE: but me
    [06:33] IE: then i did good
    [06:34] TF: Well
    [06:34] TF: I do 7hink 7he humans had 7heir discs brough7 7o 7hem
    [06:35] TF: So I don'7 7hink you'll be helping 7hem ou7 7oo much if you were 7o copy i7 for 7hem
    [06:35] IE: byout
    [06:35] IE: the sendificator
    [06:35] IE: that was a but
    [06:35] TF: Wha7?
    [06:36] IE: byout was supposed to be
    [06:36] IE: but
    [06:36] TF: Excuse me, bu7 'byou7'?
    [06:37] IE: byout = but
    [06:37] TF: If 7ha7 was a misspell of bu7 7hen 7ha7 mus7a 7ook skill 7o misspell
    [06:37] IE: idk how it happens
    [06:37] IE: it just does
    [06:37] IE: like magic
    [06:37] IE: or sghitty programming
    [06:37] TF: S7op banging your hands on your keyboard, 7hen
    [06:37] IE: fdbjefw
    [06:37] IE: howh did you know
    [06:37] TF: 7ha7 migh7 help
    [06:38] IE: either way
    [06:38] IE: beforq i get to work
    [06:38] IE: my wall osf sticky notes
    [06:38] IE: burned down
    [06:38] IE: so might i be
    [06:38] IE: forgetitng stuff
    [06:38] IE: important datest etc
    [06:39] TF: Wha7s so impor7an7?
    [06:39] IE: im asking you
    [06:39] IE: is there anything important???
    [06:39] TF: No7hing really
    [06:39] TF: Jsu7 7ha7 i7's Lucy's bir7hday, if you've forgo77en 7ha7 already
    [06:39] IE: oh fuck i forgot
    [06:40] IE: jegus
    [06:40] IE: uhh
    [06:40] TF: ...
    [06:40] IE: this will be one
    [06:40] IE: awkward bday
    [06:40] TF: I 7hink i7's more dangerous 7han awkward
    [06:40] IE: why dangerous
    [06:40] TF: Me7eors and such
    [06:40] IE: taiw
    [06:40] IE: meteors
    [06:41] IE: wait wait wai6
    [06:41] IE: imm forgetting shit fast
    [06:41] IE: augh
    [06:41] IE: meteors meteors meteors...
    [06:41] TF: Alrigh7...
    [06:41] IE: lets uhh
    [06:41] TF: Me7eors, Sburb, Bir7hday
    [06:41] IE: lets not think about
    [06:41] IE: the meteors
    [06:41] TF: Po7en7ial dea7h
    [06:41] TF: Erm
    [06:41] TF: Yeah
    [06:41] IE: ive had enough today
    [06:42] TF: Well
    [06:42] TF: I have a feeling
    [06:42] TF: 7ha7 shi7s going 7o fly higher
    [06:42] TF: for 7his day
    [06:42] IE: the bullshit level today
    [06:42] IE: is too dman high.
    [06:42] TF: S7ill rising, 7oo
    [06:43] IE: fifty degrees bullshit
    [06:43] IE: with a side of death
    [06:43] TF: Wi7h a never ending s7ream of des7ruc7ion
    [06:43] IE: a trickle of bloodshed
    [06:43] TF: And some nice music in 7he background
    [06:44] IE: well
    [06:44] IE: i got work to do
    [06:44] IE: lets get to it
    [06:44] IE: find new house
    [06:44] IE: get cds
    [06:44] IE: behat up mosquito lusus maybe
    [06:44] TF: Fun
    [06:44] IE: that fucker man
    [06:45] IE: bleghhlboo.
    [06:45] TF: bleghhboo
    [06:45] TF: 7heres an l in 7here somewhere
    [06:45] IE: theres an l
    [06:45] IE: bleghlboo.
    [06:45] TF: Wha7 a nice...
    [06:45] TF: Name?
    [06:46] IE: onomatopeia
    [06:46] TF: Ou7ward showing of s7ress?
    [06:46] IE: how do i know that
    [06:46] TF: Oh
    [06:46] IE: word
    [06:46] IE: omg
    [06:46] TF: Well
    [06:47] TF: Some people have 7heir momen7s
    [06:47] IE: i suppose
    [06:48] TF: Yeah
    [06:48] TF: I7's only a word
    [06:48] TF: So i7's no7 really a huge sign of men7al capabili7ies
    [06:49] IE: i just went crosseyed
    [06:49] IE: e.e
    [06:49] TF: :wut:
    [06:50] TF: I can go cross eyed 7oo
    [06:50] IE: lets not
    [06:50] TF: yes
    [06:51] IE: please lets not
    [06:51] TF: I agree
    [06:51] TF: Qui7e annoying 7o do
    [06:51] TF: Irri7a7ing 7o do
    [06:51] TF: ...
    [06:51] IE: sso
    [06:52] IE: let me work
    [06:52] IE: and get this shit done
    [06:52] TF: Yes, don'7 le7 me hold you back
    [06:52] TF: You go do wha7 you do
    [06:52] TF: I'll do wha7ever I am doing righ7 now
    [06:52] TF: albei7 no7 really helpful
    [06:53] TF: Anyway
    [06:53] TF: Seeya

    -- twistedFacade [TF] gave up trolling idlingEndeavor [IE] at 18:53 --


    > Hemoss: Begin adventure to go get stuff?

    Well, whatever. Time for another round in the wastes.
     
  8. > Shark: Drown.

    That doesn't make sense on two different levels. First of all, Sharks obviously shouldn't drown, and second, you're not drowning any more. You've awakened on the shore of your house's island, somehow. The last thing you remember was swimming along, then going unconscious and having a dream. As you get up, you notice that your STACK MODUS is now completely filled with SEAWEED, and all your other items must have ejected from your sylladex when you (accidentally?) captchalogued them when you were unconscious (at the bottom of the sea?). You lost your smartphone, shark action figure, bottle of seltzer, a shard of glass, and a band-aid kit. You would take a few minutes to mourn the loss of another bottle of seltzer and the shark action figure, but you've got some questions that need answers.

    > Shark: Return into your house.

    You go back into your house to see Sharksprite headed toward you. He seems to have been looking for you.

    SHARKSPRITE: OH, THERE YOU ARE! SQUEAK! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO WAKE UP BUDDY!
    SHARK: Do you know what happened with the whole drowning thing?
    SHARKSPRITE: YEAH, I DO ACTUALLY! HAHA! I WAS JUST SWIMMING ALONG UNDERWATER, WHEN I SAW YOU SINKING DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN, TANGLED UP IN A LOOSE SEAWEED PLANT! SO I QUICKLY BROUGHTCHA BACK UP HERE AND LET YOU DRY OFF OUTSIDE. YOU WERE COUGHING A LOT WHEN YOU WERE UNCONSCIOUS, SO I FIGURED YOU MUST HAVE BEEN ALIVE.
    SHARK: Well, yeah, I was probably coughing because I had just almost drowned.
    SHARKSPRITE: OH, THAT MAKES SENSE! ANYWAY, ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS WAS TRYING TO TALK TO YOU ON YOUR COMPUTER UPSTAIRS. SQUEEEEEAAAK.
    SHARK: Oh, well, uh, thanks for rescuing me I suppose.
    SHARKSPRITE: ANYTIME! I'M GONNA GO FOR ANOTHER SWIM AND SEE IF I CAN CATCH ANY FISH. SO SEE YA!
    Ah Sharksprite. He means well, but you have to admit once again that he's not very bright. You almost died, though, and you would have if he hadn't saved you. Either way, you head back upstairs and see if your friend is still on pesterchum.

    > Shark: Pester.

    It looks like Chet was trying to reach you. You try pestering him back.

    -- underseaCactus [UC] began pestering adamantitePrince [AP] at 23:16 --
    UC: ...
    AP: WhAt
    UC: You there?
    AP: Is thIs ShArksprItE AgAIn
    UC: Oh.
    UC: Um, no, this is human Shark.
    UC: You spoke with my sprite?
    AP: MOrE lIkE
    AP: HE spOkE wIth mE
    UC: Must've been an interesting conversation.
    AP: BElIEvE mE, I hAd nO dEsIrE tO spEAk tO hIm
    AP: AlsO
    AP: DO ShArks sqUEAk
    UC: No, but I figure his squeaking is due to him being created from a Shark Squeak Toy.
    AP: Oh
    AP: fAcEpAlm
    UC: Anyway, that's not really important right now.
    UC: What's going on with the game?
    AP: WEll bAsIcAlly
    AP: I gOt It InstAllEd
    UC: Which one? Server or Client?
    AP: BUt I dOn't wAnt tO stArt It wIthOUt knOwIng whAt tO dO
    AP: Oh, bOth
    AP: BUt I hAvn't stArtEd EIthEr Up yEt
    UC: Well, I'm not sure what the current chain of connections looks like.
    AP: Um
    AP: Ok?
    UC: I think TF was going to connect to Tobi, who's currently Gavin's server player, who's currently my server player.
    UC: See, the game runs off of server/client connections, and we need to make a chain if we want everyone to be rescued from the meteors.
    AP: ThEn whO ArE yOU thE sErvEr plAyEr Of?
    UC: Nobody, yet.
    AP: WEll thEn
    UC: I'll probably be the server player of whoever the last server player is, closing the chain.
    AP: AlrIght thEn, sO I shOUld Ask ArOUnd And fInd A sErvEr plAyEr?
    UC: You should pester twistedFacade and see if he's connected to Tobi.
    UC: If he has, then you'll be twistedFacade's server player, using the server disc.
    AP: AlrIght, I'll dO thAt.
    AP: AlsO, OnE mOrE thIng.
    UC: If not, you should just wait until someone's connected to Tobi..
    UC: What?
    AP: LUcy thInks shE's sEEIng An AlIEn wAlkIng ArOUnd
    AP: And yOU sEEm tO bE AlIEn bElEIvE nUmbEr 1 In OUr lIttlE grOUp
    UC: An alien? Like, the ones that we'll be playing the game with?
    AP: YEsh
    UC: Yeah, they're real. Believe it or not.
    UC: So, a troll?
    AP: YEAh
    AP: SO yOU shOUld Ask hEr AbOUt It
    UC: An alien walking around.. that's odd. I was under the assumption that these aliens lived thousands of lightyears away.
    UC: But yeah I'll ask her.
    AP: I dUnnO. ShE sAId It wAs On thE bUs
    UC: The bus?
    UC: You mean her train?
    AP: BUs, TrAIn,
    AP: I dOn't sEE mUch Of EIthEr
    UC: Fair enough.
    UC: I'll talk to you later, I'm going to go message Lucy now.
    AP: AlrIght
    AP: ChEt OUt.
    -- adamantitePrince [AP] ceased pestering underseaCactus [UC] at 23:27 --

    Chet's information is usually unreliable, but you'll message Lucy anyway. But as everyone knows, you hate being misinformed, and if this alien on the bus thing is some sort of joke, you're not going to be happy. However, Lucy's offline, so you'll have to wait until later to find out. The suspense will kill you and you're sure of it. You try to message Gavin as well, because you haven't spoken with him since he entered the game. He responds.

    -- underseaCactus [UC] began pestering spontaneousProfiteer [SP] at 23:30 --
    UC: Gavin.
    UC: Earth to Gavin.
    UC: Apocalyptic Earth to Gavin.
    SP: Uh... hey $hark
    UC: There you are!
    SP: thi$ i$ feeling quite like a $ingle player game at the moment :/
    UC: Where are you?
    SP: my planet of cour$e
    UC: And what's the planet look like?
    SP: the air i$ red,the ground i$ really mu$hy $oil with the$e giant mound$ all over.
    SP: and lot$of blood everywhere. it$ like there are vein$ going through the ground pul$ing.
    SP: and then there are the panda$
    SP: je$u$ chri$t the panda$
    UC: Aha! So it is the red planet.
    SP: uh... yeah. why?
    UC: Let me catch you up to speed real quick. From the dream planet (called Prospit) I saw not only my planet, but another, red one, which much be yours.
    UC: So apparently the dream planets are part of the game, and each player who enters gets there own planet, which doesn't appear until the respective player enters
    SP: i've pretty much deduced that fir$t part... but you're al$o trying to $ay that der$e & pro$pit exi$t in the $ame univer$e a$ like our game $e$$ion?
    UC: Yep.
    SP: okay... $o what'$ your planet like?
    UC: Well, Derse is just an assumption, but I'd assume since Prospit is in the session Derse is too.
    UC: It's a big ocean planet with islands everywhere, with even some floating islands. There's frogs everywhere.
    UC: Also Crocodile Fellas, and I think there might be a volcano on a distant island.
    SP: $ound$ awe$ome compared to mine
    SP: i $till have to $poonfeed the$e $tupid farmer panda$ the ba$ic concept of currency
    UC: Well, the islands are pretty cool, but the ocean makes it hard to explore the planet, and I almost drowned when trying to cross during a storm.
    SP: are there any $hark$ in the ocean? :p
    UC: Perhaps, deep down, but for now the only Sharks here are my Sprite and I.
    UC: Oh, that reminds me, what's your sprite?
    SP: my butler
    UC: Hm. That's interesting.
    UC: I wonder if our enemies will have appearance traits from him as well.
    SP: he$ horribly cryptic about everything, and wont ever leave me alone
    SP: you mean on your planet?
    UC: My sprite is cryptic too, but he tends to run off quite often.
    SP: lucky
    UC: Yeah, the enemies on my planet have fins.
    SP: ive recently $een imp$ with $hark fin$ on my planet too... have you $een any butler imp$ yet?
    UC: Not yet, but if sprites affect enemies like I think they do, they'll probably start showing up soon.
    UC: In fact, I think I'll go have a look right now.
    UC: I'll message you back later.
    -- underseaCactus [UC] ceased pestering spontaneousProfiteer [SP] at 23:47 --
     
  9. GravityFlux

    GravityFlux Guest

    >NEIL: Berate self for being sentimental
    Dude, you just screwed up royally. You are sick and tired of emotions. Pesky emotions. Should be gotten rid off. But you were trying to berate yourself
    >NEIL: Execute Dangerous Facepalm x 3 Combo
    You try to execute the combo, but you fail. You have only two arms not three. Unless....
    >NEIL: Retrieve arms from closet
    You re.... wait, what? No!
    >NEIL: Stop messing around and go face your Bro
    You know this is going to be bad. But you ought to hurry along. You captchalogue a blackjack card from your table for good luck, and head towards the lobby.
    >NEIL: Be confused in lobby
    Your not actually in the lobby yet, but oh who cares? In the lobby, theres no one. Just a..... note. Shit. You walk towards a table, which obviously has no one in it, and basic receptionist items. Funny. Your building doesnt even have a receptionist.
    >NEIL: Read the note
    You carefully open the note, remembering those times when it was a letter bomb. Then the other time when it was truth serum. You Bro does things like that. You avoid him. Your secrets are safe. But, theres nothing bad in the note. Except for the writing.
    "TO THE ROOFIO, PUNKASS"
    >NEIL: Remain calm outwardly
    You succeed. And roofio? Geez, its like jokes are being thinly veiled and referenced all the time!
    >NEIL: To the ROOF!
    You walk all the way to the elevator, stick the button, wait five seconds, get pissed off, and use the staircase
    >NEIL: ASCEND
    The staircase seems normal, but you know its secret. This is where five people have died. Oh yeah, you not only have the ability to keep secrets, but also pry them open. Its kind of smelly, but you feel a sense of purpose as you walk up. There seems to be some unnatural light coming from the top though.
    >NEIL: Be very amazed
    HOLY SHIZ MCWIZZ DA LIZZ! There is a meteor! Many of them! And symbolically, your Bro is standing dab right ahead of the meteor. Of course, not really, but so it seems from where you are looking at it. He's holding a scythe. And a titanium one at that. His UNBREAKABLE SPECIAL SCYTHE. You are screwed. But, at least you can see the game. Its behind him. But never lose hope.
    >GRAVITY: Introduce alternate voice in head.
    Wai... oh, yeah, him. The real Neil.
    This guy.... is Neil's actual personality. The very core of his personality. Malice.
    You see, unlike the troll mind, which is divided into two sides, Pity and Hate, humans have very complicated emotions. Unlike troll emotions, they don't boil down to two simple things. But sometimes, people are born with one single emotion. And Neil is one of those guys. These type of people are rare, and are quite troll like. Every emotion of theirs boils down to one specific emotion, which can be any emotion. And Neil's is Malice. These people cover up their core self with an alternate self. Which remains forever. But the core remains, and it talks to them for their entire life. And those people cursed with a negative core emotion.... usually either go insane, or resist the talks.
    >BLACKJACK: Interact with stupid self
    BJ: What hope do you speak of?
    BH: What? What is this? Am I going crazy? Has my mind suddenly, yet inevitably, cracked under the pressure of my pure awesomeness?
    BJ: No. Your not awesome. In any way. You're a shell. You are nothing. This compensation for your inferiority complex is progress towards my goal in any case, so you can continue with your delusion of grandiosity.
    BH: What? Jeez louis! I must be cracking, if Im doubting myself!
    BJ: Continue. But remember. You are shit. Everybody hates you. You know it. Lucy was proof. She hates you. Everyone does. I'm your only friend. And I am also your master. You will serve me well.

    >NEIL: Forget conversation with self
    You... what was that? Get back to business! The worlds ending, so you need to concentrate on keeping a cool face!
     
  10. Ikbenbeter

    Ikbenbeter Pangalactic Porcupine

    > Neil: Be the girl that let you down.

    You stop being Neil and start being Lucy again. You are currently busy cowering outside the door to the last car. In a fit of internal crocodile masculinity, you open the door and confirm your suspicions that there is no one there. You return to you computer. No internet connection again.

    > Lucy: Be stalked by a creep.


    -- heavyFire [HF] began pestering redesignedPerspective [RP] at ??? --
    HF: I'm sorry for scaring you. I did not intend to.
    RP: So you were the creepy white guy?
    HF: Yes
    RP: Mysteryfucking solved.
    RP: So if you didn'tintend to fucking scare me,why did you do thatgreen blast?
    HF: I've been busy fending off meteors.
    HF: It was an accident, sorry. Are you hurt?
    RP: Not unless you count the emotional pain.
    HF: Have you been to your mothers room lately?
    RP: No?
    HF: I saw something interesting there.
    RP: Whothe fuck are you, anyway?
    -- heavyFire [HF] ceased pestering redesignedPerspective [RP] at ??? --
    -- heavyFire [HF] changed their mood to OFFLINE --

    RP: Fuck.


    > Lucy: Check out mothers room.

    You tiptoe towards her room, but no heavyFire on your way today. You're scared, but enter her room anyway. Holy guitars. Four presents. Four. Four. Four. Four. Mother lode.

    > Lucy: Yes! Present time.

    You open the largest present first. It's the Ultimate Guitar, the one your mother uses in her career. A bit disappointing, but whatever. Presents. A note is including with the guitar: Lucy, I know you're not into guitars but this is important for later. Love, mom. Okay... You put it in your sylladex. More stupid guitars, hurray!

    > Lucy: Open second present.

    You pace yourself and open the smallest present. A cute pink ribbon for in your hair. No note. Time to accessorize! You put it in your hair. Your cuteness stat goes up.

    > Lucy: Open third present.

    You open the smallest present remaining. It is an empty Strife Specibus as well as a Strife Portfolio to store both this and your drinkingkind in. You unlock Object Duality. Awesome. What will you put in there? Maybe the last present is a weapon?

    > Lucy: Open fourth present.

    You open the last present and feel the need to share the contents with somebody other than the reader. You look who is online on your phone, and contact somebody.


    -- redesignedPerspective [RP] began pestering adamantitePrince [AP] at 00:36 --
    AP: Oh, hI
    RP: Guess who just got her birthdaypresents.
    AP: YOU
    AP: DId I wIn A prIzE
    RP: Yes.
    AP: YAy
    RP: A smileyface :)
    AP: :D
    RP: I don't think I'm quite ready fora :D yet.
    RP: But yeah.
    RP: I got thisnew ribbon.
    AP: ArE yOU stIll UpsEt AbOUt sOmEthIng
    RP: My mom is gone, I just got attacked, theworld's ending?
    AP: WEll
    AP: Ok thEn
    AP: I gUEss thAt's A vAlId rEAsOn
    AP: AlsO, hOw's yOUr SBURB thIng gOIng?
    RP: Bad :(
    RP: I haven't got a copy yet.
    RP: How'syour status?
    AP: IntAllIng thE cOpIEs UntO my lAptOp
    AP: I wOUld hAvE EArlIEr, bUt shIt hAppEnEd
    RP: Have you got aconnection yet?
    AP: A sErvEr plAyEr?
    RP: Yeah.
    AP: NO, bUt MIchEAl sAId I shOUld pEstEr whAts hIs nAmE tO bE my sErvEr plAyEr
    AP: WhAt wAs hIs nAmE AnywAys
    AP: LIkE RAk-sOmEthIng
    RP: Is he a troll?
    AP: YEs
    RP: Then it's either TF or DD. Or IE, but that'sa she.
    AP: I'm nOt sUrE I wAnt tO thOUgh
    AP: I dOn't trUst thOsE pEOplE
    RP: You imply choice.
    RP: The choice is dying or pestering a troll.
    RP: So not much of achoice at all.
    AP: WEll
    AP: GOOd pOInt
    AP: BUt stIll, I'm sUspIcIOUs Of thOsE gUys
    RP: I thinkthey're semi-trustworthy for what it'sworth.
    RP: I thinkI believe they'reactually aliens.
    AP: I thInk It's A bUnch Of BS
    AP: I mEAn, thEy rEfUsE tO shOw mE Any prOOf,
    AP: And thE nAmE 'TrOll' Isn't A vEry cOnvIncIng nAmE
    RP: :/
    AP: AlsO
    AP: It sEEms lIkE thEy Only mEss wIth mE
    AP: EvEryOnE ElsE sEEms tO thInk thEy'rE trUstwOrthy
    RP: Well, they mess with me toobutI just mess back.
    AP: ArE yOU ImplyIng thAt thE sOlUtIOn tO A prOblEm Is tO rEtAlIAtE
    RP: Well, tosomeproblems.
    AP: AlsO, hOw dO yOU trUst thEm wIth yOUr lIfE If thEy mEss wIth yOU All thE tImE
    RP: BecauseI don'thave much choice.
    RP: Besides,
    RP: some people say only good friends mess with each other.
    AP: ...
    AP: WhAt pEOplE
    RP: Idunno. Art graduates.
    AP: WEll, I gUEss thE Odds ArE stAckEd AgAInst mE
    AP: BUt
    AP: If I dIE dUE tO OnE Of thEm drOppIng A fOUntAIn On mE
    AP: I wIll nOt bE vEry hAppy
    RP: Soundslike a pretty cool way to die. Here liesChet, died due to unforseen fountain.
    AP: ...
    AP: Ok, thAt dOEs sOUnd prEtty AwEsOmE
    AP: BUt thAt's bEsIdEs thE pOInt
    RP: :I
    AP: ThE pOInt Is I wOUld bE dEAd
    AP: And I wOUld AssUmE thAt wOUld nOt bE A gOOd thIng
    RP: I guess.Who knows, maybe dyingin the game at theright time and place has a positive impact on you.
    AP: ._.
    RP: Although that would be a pretty bad mechanic.
    AP: AlsO, whO EvEn hAs fOUntAIns
    RP: Not me.
    AP: NOt mE EIthEr
    RP: I was tellingyou about my birthday. I got something else, too.
    AP: WhAt wAs It
    RP: Well, 3more things. But one's important and cool.
    RP: A freakin' rocket launcher!
    AP: wUt
    AP: WhO thE hEll gEts A rOckEt lAUnchEr fOr thIEr bIrthdAy
    RP: Most responsible mom of the year award goes to my mom, right there.
    AP: BUt I mEAn
    AP: HOw dId shE EvEn AffOrd thAt
    AP: ArEn't thOsE lIkE 50,000 dOllArs
    RP: Hello? Big time Rockstar?
    AP: Oh...
    AP: DAmmIt, I kEEp fOrgEttIng AbOUt thAt
    AP: YOU shOUld brIng thAt Up In OUr cOnvErsAtIOns mOrE
    RP: Well, it's not somethingI'm very into.
    RP: I don'treally like rockall that much. Or music in general.
    RP: I don'tdislike it, I'm just indifferent to it.
    AP: Ah
    AP: Oh jEEz,
    AP: AlsO I shOUld sAy
    AP: SOrry fOr sEndIng my prEsEnt Off lAtE
    AP: WE'vE bEEn hAvIng A wIErd wAvE Of blIzzArds lAtEly
    AP: And my sIstEr wOUldn't lEt mE lEAvE thE hOUsE
    RP: That sounds bad:(
    AP: YEAh, rEcEnt EvEnts hAvE mAdE mE rEAlIzE why shE kEpt mE InsIdE
    AP: BlIzzArds sUck
    RP: And so dometeors.
    RP: Ido wonder what you send me. I hopeit's notcreepy and weird.
    AP: Um
    AP: YEAh, sOrry AbOUt lAst yEAr
    AP: I DIDN'T KNOW
    RP: >.>
    AP: I rEAlly sErIOUsly dIdn't
    RP: Apology accepted.
    RP: Let's all try to forget about itagain.
    AP: GOd, yOU wOUldn't tAlk tO mE fOr AgEs AtEr thAt
    RP: Yeah, I know :\
    RP: I think I'll get your present at the next station, though.
    RP: IfI'm not killed by meteors bythen.
    AP: YAAAAy
    AP: LEts hOpE yOU ArEn't ;D
    RP: Let's.
    RP: Anyhow,I'm going to try out these rockets.
    AP: lOl
    AP: BEt thAt's gOnnA bE prEtty
    AP: WAIt
    RP: ?
    AP: My cOmpUtEr sUddEnly gOt rEAlly hOt
    RP: >.>

    -- adamantitePrince [AP] ceased pestering redesignedPerspective [RP] at 01:13 --


    > Lucy: Don't worry about Chet and test out new present.

    You attempt to fire it but it won't do anything outside of a Strife Specibus. You stuck it in, now your strife portfolio is full again. But yes! Also firing it inside might be stupid.

    > Lucy: Go to last car and try using rocket launcher on meteors.

    What rocket launcher? All you got is this Tea Flask. Which you fire at meteors. Boom, boom. Okay, that might have been the rocket launcher.

    > Lucy: Be pestered by Tobi.


    -- grrowlingEcologist [GE] began pestering redesignedPerspective [RP] at 18:32 --
    RP: Hello?
    GE: hey lucy
    GE: happy birthday or whatever
    RP: Thanks or whatever.
    GE: not happy if you'd prefer I guess
    RP: Semi-happy.
    GE: oh great
    GE: what happened
    RP: The world's ending.
    RP: And Igot presents.
    GE: balances out
    RP: Indeed.
    GE: anything else happen
    RP: Mymom disappeared and I got attacked.
    GE: that sucks
    RP: Whatever attacked's gone now though.
    GE: is that better or worse
    GE: is it like a hornet situation
    RP: He disappeared from the last car, so only one way to go.
    GE: where it's better to know where it is
    GE: well at least it killed itself I guess
    RP: I think it survived the jump.
    RP: Sinceit pestered me :zzz:
    GE: that's not completely creepy or anything
    RP: It's weird. I'm kinda over it because presents.
    GE: yeah
    GE: speaking of which
    GE: I don't think I'll be able to ge my present to you for a while
    RP: Did you mail it yet?
    GE: no
    GE: I forgot your birhday until earlier today
    RP: It's ok.
    GE: I figured it would be
    GE: anyway
    GE: have you talked to gavin
    RP: A while ago.
    GE: he tell you anything
    GE: personal
    RP: He's playingthe game,nothing else major.
    GE: ah
    RP: Why?
    GE: I fgured he wouldn't say anything
    RP: Did somethinghappen?
    GE: well his butler died
    RP: :(
    GE: then he got sorta revived I guess
    GE: bu becoming a sprite
    RP: Shark said something abuot them. Partof the game.
    GE: yeah
    GE: he sure knows a lot about the game
    RP: :eek:
    GE: I find it suspicious
    RP: Maybe he knew in advance? The butler, I mean?
    RP: Or because he got revived by the game?
    GE: I meant shark
    RP: Oh.
    RP: Shark said something about dreams.
    GE: yeah like I'd believe that load of shit
    RP: I dreamsome pretty weird stuffmyself.
    RP: Wake up on some purple planet.
    RP: Talked to some queen.
    GE: that doesn't make it automatically true
    GE: what if it was just a dream
    RP: She said I'm the Maid of Doom>.>
    RP: Maybe it is?
    GE: what the fuck does that even mean
    RP: Icancreate doom or something? She saidto ask mysprite, she's much better at explaining.
    RP: That's what the queen said.
    GE: and you just believed it was true out of nowhere
    RP: Why not?
    GE: there's no evidence
    RP: It's all pretty vague anyway. And how did I becomeMaid?
    RP: Maybe it is a big lie.
    GE: why are you asking me
    GE: why the fuck would I know if you don't
    RP: You're listening I guess:/
    GE: well
    GE: good point
    GE: well fuck as long as I'm being a counselor
    GE: anything else
    RP: How's your SBURB status?
    GE: I got gavin in the game
    GE: but now I have to find my client disk
    RP: :\
    GE: and I should probably check out the massive hole in my wall
    RP: ?
    GE: since it contains what appears to be my dad's car
    GE: someone crashed into the wall of my house
    RP: Your father maybe?
    GE: well I doubt it I've only seen him drive once
    GE: he usually rides a stupid bike
    GE: it's the end of the world
    GE: looting will happen
    RP: Unlesseveryonedies >.>
    GE: well shark and gavin won't
    GE: they might end up the only two people left alive
    RP: You should hurry upwith thegame-finding then.
    GE: that would be fucking funny actually
    RP: What?
    GE: but yeah I don't want to die
    GE: so I should probably find the game
    RP: Maybe.
    GE: what do you mean maybe
    GE: are you suggesting I just die
    RP: It's this whole sarcasm hype I'm into.
    GE: sarcasm doesn't transfer well over the internet
    RP: Are you suggesting I want you to die?
    GE: you're a something of doom right
    GE: maybe you want everyone to die
    RP: You found outmy secret plans. For that you must die![/sarcasm]
    RP: Better?
    GE: fuck off
    RP: Okay. Ciao.

    -- redesignedPerspective [RP] ceased pestering grrowlingEcologist [GE] at 19:16 --
     
  11. F-ranko

    F-ranko Heliosphere

    > Chet: Assess damage

    You stare around at the damage that has been done to your house. Windows are broken, trophies are shattered, and the house is in a state of utter chaos. God, this is gonna be fun to explain to your server player.
    You head upstairs and observe the damage done to your room. Welp, this place is completely fucked. The entire room is soaked, it's cold as shit, and there's about three inches of water in your room. God, all this heater is doing is melting the snow in your room. You decide to turn it off to avoid creating flash-floods in your own house. While you're here, you might as well check on your computer again. The computer itself is working fine, but it looks like the cursor is glitchy as fuck. Damn, that could be a nuisance while playing SBURB, better stick to your Laptop. On the way back to the door, you hear a loud crunch from underneath your foot. It's probably just some broken glas-
    OH GOD NO THIS STUFF WAS IN MINT CONDITION.
    Alas, your collection of Anime figures is all over the floor submerged in water. You salvage what you can, but for the most part, 75% of them are ruined beyond repair.

    > Have a moment of silence for the fallen

    You would just like to say that...They were your closest friends. Especially Naruto. He was your favorite of the group. God you loved him, always looking so smug up on the shelf.
    ...
    ......
    .........

    > Get on with it

    Yeah, you've stood here long enough. You should start installing the beta. You place the broken Naruto figurine in your pocket and head back downstairs to the living room.
    Before you start, you might as well empty your inventory so you don't make another stupid mistake with your inventory. You duck for cover as you empty your inventory. Shit goes flying everywhere, and the Laptop does a flippity spin before it lands safely on your couch. You smirk to yourself and insert the SBURB beta client disc.
    While it's downloading, you might as well pester Micheal for sweet game tips.
    [05:28] -- underseaCactus [UC] began pestering adamantitePrince [AP] at 17:28 --
    [05:28] UC: HEYA!
    [05:28] AP: PhEw
    [05:28] UC: OH, WAIT. I'M NOT SURE I LIKE THIS COLOR.
    [05:28] AP: ._.
    [05:29] UC: SQUEAK! THAT'S BETTER!
    [05:29] AP: Um
    [05:29] AP: Ok.... ?
    [05:29] AP: AnywAys, I wAs gOIng tO Ask whAt I'm sUppOsEd tO dO whEn I'vE gOt thE gAmE rEAdy
    [05:30] UC: WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH, SHARK'S FRIEND?
    [05:30] AP: Um
    [05:30] AP: wUt
    [05:30] UC: SQUEAK. HAHAH! I'M NOT SHARK, I'M HIS SPRITE! I TOTALLY FOOLED YOU, SQUEAK!
    [05:30] AP: ........
    [05:30] UC: HUMAN SHARK IS CURRENTLY UNCONCIOUS.
    [05:31] AP: Oh
    [05:31] AP: WhAt hAppEnEd
    [05:31] UC: HE SHOULD REALLY LOCK HIS COMPUTER THOUGH, HEH HEH!
    [05:31] AP: DId hE drInk tOO mUch sEltzEr Or sOmEthIng
    [05:31] AP: AlsO whAt thE hEll Is A sprItE
    [05:31] UC: I'M NOT SURE, BUT I FOUND HIM UNCONCIOUS UNDERWATER! I ASSUME HE WAS SWIMMING WHEN THE STORM HIT.
    [05:32] UC: A SPRITE IS LIKE A MAGICAL GUIDE FOR YOUR JOURNEY!
    [05:32] UC: THOUGH I'M NOT YOUR SPRITE, SO I DON'T REALLY KNOW MUCH ABOUT YOU.
    [05:32] AP: k, wEll cAn yOU tEll mE whAt I'm sUppOsEd tO dO hErE
    [05:33] UC: BUT CONSIDERING HOW YOU WERE ASKING ME (WHO YOU THOUGHT WAS SHARK!) I ASSUME YOU'LL HAVE A SPRITE OF YOUR OWN SOON.
    [05:33] AP: CAUsE I'vE gOt thE gAmE InstAllEd, And I'm nOt sUrE whAt tO dO
    [05:33] UC: SORRY, DUDE! I ONLY GIVE INFORMATION TO MY PAL SHARK.
    [05:34] UC: THOUGH I'LL GO SEE IF HE'S AWAKE YET, AND I'LL TELL HIM TO MESSAGE YOU BACK WHEN HE'S RECOVERED.
    [05:34] UC: ISN'T THERE ANYONE ELSE YOU COULD ASK?
    [05:34] AP: WEll, I cOUld Ask OnE Of thOsE wIErd 'trOll' gUys,
    [05:34] AP: And I AlrEAdy AskEd LUcy, And shE sAId tO cOntAct ShArk
    [05:35] UC: I'M NOT SURE I KNOW WHAT THAT IS! SQUEAK.
    [05:35] AP: WhAt Is thAt gOddAmn sqUEAkIng
    [05:35] AP: Why dO yOU kEEp dOIng It
    [05:35] UC: SQUEAK! I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY. I JUST SQUEAK SOMETIMES!
    [05:35] AP: DO All sprItEs sqUEAk
    [05:35] UC: PERHAPS!
    [05:36] UC: THOUGH NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT. IT SEEMS KIND OF UNLIKELY.
    [05:36] AP: :l
    [05:37] AP: ThIs hAs prObAbly bEEn thE bIggEst wAstE Of tImE I hAvE EvEr pArtIcIpAtEd In dUrIng thE cOUrsE Of my nAtUrAl lIfE
    [05:37] UC: HAHA! YOU'RE FUNNY.
    [05:37] UC: ANYWAY, I'M GONNA GO!
    [05:37] AP: YEAh,
    [05:37] AP: HEy, whEn ShArk wAkEs Up
    [05:37] UC: THERE ARE FISH TO BE EATEN AND SHARKS TO BE AWOKEN!
    [05:37] AP: TEll hIm thAt It wAs OnE hEll Of A pArty lAst nIght
    [05:37] -- adamantitePrince [AP] ceased pestering underseaCactus [UC] at 17:37 --

    Oh my god. You will never ever get a sprite. They sound like the mo-
    Wait, Shark's pestering you again...
    [05:37] -- underseaCactus [UC] began pestering adamantitePrince [AP] at 17:37 --
    [05:37] UC: HEY, THAT SORT OF RYHMED.
    [05:38] AP: Um
    [05:38] UC: FISH TO BE EATENN
    [05:38] UC: SHARKS TO BE AWOKENN
    [05:38] UC: OK SO BYE.
    [05:38] AP: k
    [05:38] UC: SQUEAK!
    [05:38] -- underseaCactus [UC] ceased pestering adamantitePrince [AP] at 17:38 --

    omg no
    Never will you have one.
    You look at the status of SBURB's client copy. 89% done. Sweet. This isn't going as slow as you expected. You wait patiently for the game to complete installing. God, this thing takes up a fuckload of memory.
    A few seconds later, you successfully install the Client copy! Dayum, this is making your laptop run slow as hell.
    Oh god, Shark's pestering you again.
    [10:16] -- underseaCactus [UC] began pestering adamantitePrince [AP] at 22:16 --
    [10:16] UC: ...
    [10:16] AP: WhAt
    [10:16] UC: You there?
    [10:16] AP: Is thIs ShArksprItE AgAIn
    [10:16] UC: Oh.
    [10:17] UC: Um, no, this is human Shark.
    [10:17] UC: You spoke with my sprite?
    [10:17] AP: MOrE lIkE
    [10:17] AP: HE spOkE wIth mE
    [10:17] UC: Must've been an interesting conversation.
    [10:17] AP: BElIEvE mE, I hAd nO dEsIrE tO spEAk tO hIm
    [10:17] AP: AlsO
    [10:17] AP: DO ShArks sqUEAk
    [10:18] UC: No, but I figure his squeaking is due to him being created from a Shark Squeak Toy.
    [10:18] AP: Oh
    [10:18] AP: fAcEpAlm
    [10:18] UC: Anyway, that's not really important right now.
    [10:18] UC: What's going on with the game?
    [10:18] AP: WEll bAsIcAlly
    [10:18] AP: I gOt It InstAllEd
    [10:19] UC: Which one? Server or Client?
    [10:19] AP: BUt I dOn't wAnt tO stArt It wIthOUt knOwIng whAt tO dO
    [10:19] AP: Oh, bOth
    [10:19] AP: BUt I hAvn't stArtEd EIthEr Up yEt
    [10:19] UC: Well, I'm not sure what the current chain of connections looks like.
    [10:19] AP: Um
    [10:20] AP: Ok?
    [10:20] UC: I think TF was going to connect to Tobi, who's currently Gavin's server player, who's currently my server player.
    [10:20] UC: See, the game runs off of server/client connections, and we need to make a chain if we want everyone to be rescued from the meteors.
    [10:20] AP: ThEn whO ArE yOU thE sErvEr plAyEr Of?
    [10:22] UC: Nobody, yet.
    [10:22] AP: WEll thEn
    [10:22] UC: I'll probably be the server player of whoever the last server player is, closing the chain.
    [10:22] AP: AlrIght thEn, sO I shOUld Ask ArOUnd And fInd A sErvEr plAyEr?
    [10:23] UC: You should pester twistedFacade and see if he's connected to Tobi.
    [10:23] UC: If he has, then you'll be twistedFacade's server player, using the server disc.
    [10:24] AP: AlrIght, I'll dO thAt.
    [10:24] AP: AlsO, OnE mOrE thIng.
    [10:24] UC: If not, you should just wait until someone's connected to Tobi..
    [10:24] UC: What?
    [10:24] AP: LUcy thInks shE's sEEIng An AlIEn wAlkIng ArOUnd
    [10:24] AP: And yOU sEEm tO bE AlIEn bElEIvE nUmbEr 1 In OUr lIttlE grOUp
    [10:24] UC: An alien? Like, the ones that we'll be playing the game with?
    [10:25] AP: YEsh
    [10:25] UC: Yeah, they're real. Believe it or not.
    [10:25] UC: So, a troll?
    [10:25] AP: YEAh
    [10:25] AP: SO yOU shOUld Ask hEr AbOUt It
    [10:26] UC: An alien walking around.. that's odd. I was under the assumption that these aliens lived thousands of lightyears away.
    [10:26] UC: But yeah I'll ask her.
    [10:26] AP: I dUnnO. ShE sAId It wAs On thE bUs
    [10:26] UC: The bus?
    [10:26] UC: You mean her train?
    [10:26] AP: BUs, TrAIn,
    [10:26] AP: I dOn't sEE mUch Of EIthEr
    [10:26] UC: Fair enough.
    [10:27] UC: I'll talk to you later, I'm going to go message Lucy now.
    [10:27] AP: AlrIght
    [10:27] AP: ChEt OUt.
    [10:27] -- adamantitePrince [AP] ceased pestering underseaCactus [UC] at 22:27 --

    You inspect the Server copy. This disc is quite a lot more shiny than the other disc was, and it has some sort of wierd, atomy design on it. Eh, won't matter if you're dead. You calmly insert the disc and wait for it to boot up. Your laptop starts whirring and making this loud as hell noise.

    > Be the computer

    You are now the computer. God damn, what the fuck is your master fucking running up there? Jegus, he doesn't use you for fucking years and suddenly decides to install this big-as-fuck program unto your harddrive? Fuck. You're gonna have to give this all you fucking got to not overload.
    Oh goody, looks like he's getting another fucking message from his only fucking lady friend. Fuck, use up more fucking megabytes, why don't you.
    Close this shit[/FONT]][05:35] -- redesignedPerspective [RP] began pestering adamantitePrince [AP] at 17:35 --
    [05:36] AP: Oh, hI
    [05:36] RP: Guess who just got her birthdaypresents.
    [05:36] AP: YOU
    [05:36] AP: DId I wIn A prIzE
    [05:36] RP: Yes.
    [05:37] AP: YAy
    [05:37] RP: A smileyface :)
    [05:37] AP: :D
    [05:37] RP: I don't think I'm quite ready fora :D yet.
    [05:37] RP: But yeah.
    [05:38] RP: I got thisnew ribbon.
    [05:38] AP: ArE yOU stIll UpsEt AbOUt sOmEthIng
    [05:38] RP: My mom is gone, I just got attacked, theworld's ending?
    [05:39] AP: WEll
    [05:39] AP: Ok thEn
    [05:39] AP: I gUEss thAt's A vAlId rEAsOn
    [05:40] AP: AlsO, hOw's yOUr SBURB thIng gOIng?
    [05:40] RP: Bad :(
    [05:40] RP: I haven't got a copy yet.
    [05:40] RP: How'syour status?
    [05:40] AP: IntAllIng thE cOpIEs UntO my lAptOp
    [05:40] AP: I wOUld hAvE EArlIEr, bUt shIt hAppEnEd
    [05:41] RP: Have you got aconnection yet?
    [05:41] AP: A sErvEr plAyEr?
    [05:41] RP: Yeah.
    [05:42] AP: NO, bUt MIchEAl sAId I shOUld pEstEr whAts hIs nAmE tO bE my sErvEr plAyEr
    [05:42] AP: WhAt wAs hIs nAmE AnywAys
    [05:42] AP: LIkE RAk-sOmEthIng
    [05:42] RP: Is he a troll?
    [05:43] AP: YEs
    [05:43] RP: Then it's either TF or DD. Or IE, but that'sa she.
    [05:43] AP: I'm nOt sUrE I wAnt tO thOUgh
    [05:44] AP: I dOn't trUst thOsE pEOplE
    [05:44] RP: You imply choice.
    [05:44] RP: The choice is dying or pestering a troll.
    [05:44] RP: So not much of achoice at all.
    [05:45] AP: WEll
    [05:45] AP: GOOd pOInt
    [05:46] AP: BUt stIll, I'm sUspIcIOUs Of thOsE gUys
    [05:46] RP: I thinkthey're semi-trustworthy for what it'sworth.
    [05:46] RP: I thinkI believe they'reactually aliens.
    [05:46] AP: I thInk It's A bUnch Of BS
    [05:47] AP: I mEAn, thEy rEfUsE tO shOw mE Any prOOf,
    [05:48] AP: And thE nAmE 'TrOll' Isn't A vEry cOnvIncIng nAmE
    [05:48] RP: :/
    [05:48] AP: AlsO
    [05:49] AP: It sEEms lIkE thEy Only mEss wIth mE
    [05:49] AP: EvEryOnE ElsE sEEms tO thInk thEy'rE trUstwOrthy
    [05:49] RP: Well, they mess with me toobutI just mess back.
    [05:50] AP: ArE yOU ImplyIng thAt thE sOlUtIOn tO A prOblEm Is tO rEtAlIAtE
    [05:51] AP: AlsO, hOw dO yOU trUst thEm wIth yOUr lIfE If thEy mEss wIth yOU All thE tImE
    [05:51] RP: Well, tosomeproblems.
    [05:51] RP: BecauseI don'thave much choice.
    [05:51] RP: Besides,
    [05:51] RP: some people say only good friends mess with each other.
    [05:52] AP: ...
    [05:52] AP: WhAt pEOplE
    [05:52] RP: Idunno. Art graduates.
    [05:53] AP: WEll, I gUEss thE Odds ArE stAckEd AgAInst mE
    [05:53] AP: BUt
    [05:53] AP: If I dIE dUE tO OnE Of thEm drOppIng A fOUntAIn On mE
    [05:54] AP: I wIll nOt bE vEry hAppy
    [05:55] RP: Soundslike a pretty cool way to die. Here liesChet, died due to unforseen fountain.
    [05:55] AP: ...
    [05:56] AP: Ok, thAt dOEs sOUnd prEtty AwEsOmE
    [05:56] AP: BUt thAt's bEsIdEs thE pOInt
    [05:56] RP: :I
    [05:56] AP: ThE pOInt Is I wOUld bE dEAd
    [05:57] AP: And I wOUld AssUmE thAt wOUld nOt bE A gOOd thIng
    [05:58] RP: I guess.Who knows, maybe dyingin the game at theright time and place has a positive impact on you.
    [05:58] AP: ._.
    [05:58] RP: Although that would be a pretty bad mechanic.
    [05:59] AP: AlsO, whO EvEn hAs fOUntAIns
    [05:59] RP: Not me.
    [05:59] AP: NOt mE EIthEr
    [06:00] RP: I was tellingyou about my birthday. I got something else, too.
    [06:00] AP: WhAt wAs It
    [06:00] RP: Well, 3more things. But one's important and cool.
    [06:01] RP: A freakin' rocket launcher!
    [06:01] AP: wUt
    [06:02] AP: WhO thE hEll gEts A rOckEt lAUnchEr fOr thIEr bIrthdAy
    [06:02] RP: Most responsible mom of the year award goes to my mom, right there.
    [06:02] AP: BUt I mEAn
    [06:03] AP: HOw dId shE EvEn AffOrd thAt
    [06:03] AP: ArEn't thOsE lIkE 50,000 dOllArs
    [06:03] RP: Hello? Big time Rockstar?
    [06:03] AP: Oh...
    [06:03] AP: DAmmIt, I kEEp fOrgEttIng AbOUt thAt
    [06:03] AP: YOU shOUld brIng thAt Up In OUr cOnvErsAtIOns mOrE
    [06:04] RP: Well, it's not somethingI'm very into.
    [06:05] RP: I don'treally like rockall that much. Or music in general.
    [06:05] RP: I don'tdislike it, I'm just indifferent to it.
    [06:05] AP: Ah
    [06:05] AP: Oh jEEz,
    [06:05] AP: AlsO I shOUld sAy
    [06:05] AP: SOrry fOr sEndIng my prEsEnt Off lAtE
    [06:06] AP: WE'vE bEEn hAvIng A wIErd wAvE Of blIzzArds lAtEly
    [06:06] AP: And my sIstEr wOUldn't lEt mE lEAvE thE hOUsE
    [06:06] RP: That sounds bad:(
    [06:07] AP: YEAh, rEcEnt EvEnts hAvE mAdE mE rEAlIzE why shE kEpt mE InsIdE
    [06:07] AP: BlIzzArds sUck
    [06:08] RP: And so dometeors.
    [06:08] RP: Ido wonder what you send me. I hopeit's notcreepy and weird.
    [06:08] AP: Um
    [06:08] AP: YEAh, sOrry AbOUt lAst yEAr
    [06:09] AP: I DIDN'T KNOW
    [06:09] RP: >.>
    [06:09] AP: I rEAlly sErIOUsly dIdn't
    [06:09] RP: Apology accepted.
    [06:09] RP: Let's all try to forget about itagain.
    [06:10] AP: GOd, yOU wOUldn't tAlk tO mE fOr AgEs AtEr thAt
    [06:10] RP: Yeah, I know :\
    [06:11] RP: I think I'll get your present at the next station, though.
    [06:11] RP: IfI'm not killed by meteors bythen.
    [06:11] AP: YAAAAy
    [06:11] AP: LEts hOpE yOU ArEn't ;D
    [06:11] RP: Let's.
    [06:12] RP: Anyhow,I'm going to try out these rockets.
    [06:12] AP: lOl
    [06:12] AP: BEt thAt's gOnnA bE prEtty
    [06:12] AP: WAIt
    [06:12] RP: ?
    [06:12] AP: My cOmpUtEr sUddEnly gOt rEAlly hOt
    [06:12] RP: >.>
    [06:12] -- adamantitePrince [AP] ceased pestering redesignedPerspective [RP] at 18:12 --

    FUCK. JUST HOLY SHIT SO MUCH DATA IS COURSING THROUGH YOUR DATABASES RIGHT NOW. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SBURB SHIT AND WHY THE HELL WOULD HE INSTALL IT. HE SHOULD KNOW YOUR FUCKING LIMITS. COG WHAT AN INCONSIDERATE FUCKING PRICK. JUST 010001100101010101000011010010110010000001001101010110010010000001001100010010010100011001000101

    > Chet: Evade explosion

    HOLY SHIT
    Your computer just randomly explodes on the spot. Luckily you managed to dodge the explosion before it did any serious harm, but now you've got a huge fucking burn on your right arm. God it hurts like fuck. Piece of shit laptop, screw that thing. You guess you're using your glitchy as hell computer in your room.

    > Install Beta again

    Yeah, you install the client for a second time. Being on a super computer, it ends up being insanely fast compared to your laptop. You insert the server disc again while grumbling under your breath.
    Strangely, the beta loads as fast as it was loading on your laptop.
    [​IMG]
    Jesus Christ, this thing is eating your bandwidth like it's nobody's business.
    You decide to check for that "Rak" guy or whatever through your phone. Crap, he isn't online. Strangely, the only chum currently online is Tobi. You decide to pester him.

    [11:19] -- adamantitePrince [AP] began pestering grrowlingEcologist [GE] at 23:19 --
    [11:19] AP: TObI
    [11:19] GE: yeah
    [11:19] AP: HI
    [11:19] AP: HOw's yOUr sItUAtIOn wIth thE bEtA?
    [11:19] GE: I still don't know where the client disc is
    [11:20] AP: BUt yOU hAvE thE sErvEr dIsc?
    [11:20] GE: but I got gavin into the game with the server disc
    [11:20] GE: yeah
    [11:20] AP: fUck
    [11:20] AP: nEvErmInd thEn
    [11:20] GE: what
    [11:20] AP: JUst lOOkIng fOr A sErvEr plAyEr
    [11:20] GE: oh
    [11:20] AP: And I dOnt wAnt tO bE fOrcEd tO Ask thE AlIEns
    [11:21] GE: well yeah I'm already server for gavin
    [11:21] GE: have you asked any of the humans besides me
    [11:21] AP: LUcy dOEsn't hAvE hErs, ShArk's nOt plAnnIng On UsIng hIs UntIl thE End.
    [11:22] GE: that's 2 people
    [11:22] AP: NOt sUrE AbOUt NEIl, bUt hE's wIErd
    [11:22] GE: niel's a fucking freak
    [11:22] GE: you'd be better off with aliens
    [11:23] AP: Ok
    [11:23] AP: wEll, gOnnA gO
    [11:23] AP: byE.
    [11:23] -- adamantitePrince [AP] ceased pestering grrowlingEcologist [GE] at 23:23 --

    Whoa, you knew that Neil can be weird sometimes, but you had no idea Tobi had such negative feelings towards him...
    Welp, you guess there's nothing to do until one of the trolls go online.
     
    Shark likes this.
  12. >Shark: More Pester Shenanigans.

    Hey, they're not shenanigans. Keeping in touch with your friends at this point is nothing short of making sure everyone isn't dead.
    -- redesignedPerspective [RP] began pestering underseaCactus [UC] at 13:55 --
    RP: Shark.
    UC: Yes?
    RP: I saw this HFguy.
    UC: Oh, I was meaning to ask you about that. Someone told me you had an encounter with an alien.
    UC: And by what you just said, I'd assume it was the same HF we've been talking to.
    RP: Yes, they contacted me before and after.
    RP: The attack.
    UC: What attack? Meteors?
    RP: He attackedme.
    UC: Oh, really. What did he look like?
    RP: White.
    UC: Oh, and, uh, are you OK?
    RP: Wore a mask.
    RP: I think he had no bad intend.
    UC: Like, white skin, or caucasion?
    RP: I don't think itwas human? And I didn't saw its skinunlessit's pure white.
    UC: Hmmm.
    UC: Did (s)he have horns?
    RP: Not that I could see.
    RP: Although...
    RP: No.
    UC: Hm. Doesn't sound like a troll, then.
    UC: A second species of alien. I honestly didn't think this day could get any weirder.
    UC: And so Chet was wrong about it being a troll, then. Why am I not surprised.
    RP: :wut:
    RP: They're the only aliens we know.
    RP: Since they'reon Earth, we can't call HFan alien,though.
    UC: Weird that HF starts talking to us on the day of Sburb. Kind of seems like it can't be a coincidence.
    UC: That's true, I suppose. Just a different species.
    RP: I don't believe in coincidences. There is likely more.
    RP: But I can'tget a hold of him/her/it for morethan 3 seconds.
    UC: I'll try to reach him..
    RP: I don't think it works like that :\
    RP: He seems to very muchwant tocontrol when he'sspoken to.
    UC: Apparently so.
    UC: >:[
    RP: ]:<
    RP: He seems tobe connectedtomy internet failures, it seems.
    UC: What does he want with us, anyway?
    UC: To try and distract us from getting in the game?
    UC: Oh, and speaking of which, I don't suppose you've gotten any closer to retrieving Sburb or getting a new copy?
    RP: Well, I'mgetting closer all the time.
    RP: I think there's some wayto obtain it at the next station?
    UC: Excellent.
    RP: That still takes a while, though.
    UC: How far away is it?
    RP: Far.I won't be in thegame for a while.
    UC: Yikes.
    UC: Can't you make the train go faster?
    RP: No, I'm at top speed. Still,Igota wayto get meteors from the sky.
    UC: Fair enough..
    RP: I got a rocket launcher :O
    UC: If the meteors can't hit you I suppose it doesn't mattter how far away the station is.
    UC: Rocket Launcher eh?
    RP: Got it from my mom.
    UC: Your mom gave you a Rocket Launcher.
    RP: For my birthday.
    UC: That seems like a strange gift to say the least.
    RP: I also gota ribbon 8:I
    UC: Cool.
    UC: Well, I have to go see if the imps are butler imps now.
    RP: >.>
    UC: I think I'm also going to talk with Sharksprite and see what else he knows about this game.
    RP: <.<
    RP: Good luck.
    UC: Thanks, and keep me posted on anything HF or Meteor related.
    -- underseaCactus [UC] ceased pestering redesignedPerspective [RP] at 14:18 --


    -- underseaCactus [UC] began pestering lysogenicLeukocyte [LL] at 14:21 --
    UC: Lance?
    LL: Greetings once again, Shark.
    LL: What news?
    UC: Haven't seen you online in awhile.
    UC: Lots of news.
    LL: Really?
    LL: My innternet must be fucking up or some such.
    UC: In case you hadn't realized, the earth is currently being pelted with meteors.
    LL: I've been on as long as I've been up.
    LL: And yeah I heard.
    LL: Is it that big f a deal?
    UC: Yeah, it's a pretty big deal.
    UC: Long story short, Sburb caused the meteors to fall somehow, but you can use the game to escape earth's destruction to a planet inside the game.
    LL: Damn, I the way Father portrayed it it was an inconvenience at worst
    LL: Damn.
    LL: And I thouhgt I was a writer.
    UC: So, yeah, do you have the game?
    LL: Yep.
    LL: I'm installing the server vearion right now.
    LL: It's fucking MOLASSES though.
    LL: Hang on lemme check the progress...
    LL: About 50%.
    UC: Well, if you're installing the server copy, you should find someone with a client copy and connect to them as their host.
    LL: Alright.
    UC: I'm not exactly sure who has the client copy and who doesn't, but I know that Gavin and I are already in the game, and Lucy currently has no copies.
    LL: Good to know.
    LL: I'll check in on whoever else's on line in a sec.
    UC: But, yeah, I'm going to go try to find out more about this game, so I'll talk to you later.
    LL: Seeya!
    UC: I'll keep you posted- good luck.
    -- underseaCactus [UC] ceased pestering lysogenicLeukocyte [LL] at 14:29 --


    >Shark: Look for your sprite.

    You last saw him running out the door downstairs, so that's where you go. Outside, there's a few imps; but they're different this time. In addition to the fins on their back, some of the imps now wear clothing that would resemble a butler, which is an obvious result of Gavin's prototyping. After disposing of the imps with your cleaver and earning yourself some more build grist, you find Sharksprite on the shore of your island.

    >Shark: Ask Sharksprite about the thing above your house.


    SHARK: Hey, Sharksprite.
    SHARKSPRITE: OH, SQEAAAAK, HEY! WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU TO FULFILL MY SPRITE GUARDIAN ROLE?
    SHARK: I was wondering if you knew anything about that weird portal-looking thing above my house.
    SHARKSPRITE: OH, THAT'S A GATE! THERE'S SEVEN OF THEM YOU NEED TO GO THROUGH IN THIS WORLD TO REACH YOUR DENIZEN AT THE CENTER OF YOUR PLANET!
    SHARK: My denizen? You mean like a monster?
    SHARKSPRITE: YES, THOUGH I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHY YOU WOULD WANT TO GO SEE A MONSTER. IT'S HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PROGRESS, THOUGH.
    SHARK: So how do I get up to the gate?
    SHARKSPRITE: YOUR FRIEND IS SUPPOSED TO BUILD YOU HOUSE UP SO YOU CAN REACH IT!
    SHARK: Oh, so my server player's job isn't done yet. Guess I need to get a hold of Gavin again. Anything else you can tell me about this crazy game?
    SHARKSPRITE: WELL, I CAN TELL YOU THAT IT'S MUCH MORE THAN A GAME! SQUEAK, IT'S A WHOLE UNIVERSE THAT YOU AND YOUR PEERS MUST CONQUER IF YOU WANT TO SURVIVE. WAY UP IN THE SKY ON THAT BLUE PLANET..A VERY HEATED BATTLE WILL BEGIN THERE, AND IT'S YOUR JOB TO TRY AND STOP THE BAD GUYS BEFORE THEY WIN!
    SHARK: Who exactly are the bad guys?
    SHARKSPRITE: I'VE, UH, TOLD YOU TOO MUCH ALREADY! IT FEELS LIKE WE'RE CHEATING, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
    FIGURE THIS STUFF OUT ON YOUR OWN, SQUEAK!
    SHARK: Ugh, fine. Thanks for what you told me of already, though, I suppose.
    SHAKRSPRITE: ANYTIME, DUDE! OKAY, WELL, NOT ANYTIME, BECAUSE AS I JUST SAID, IT FEELS LIKE CHEATING. SO ACTUALLY MORE LIKE 'SOMETIME, DUDE!'
    SHARK: Okay, then. I'm going to go try to reach Gavin, then, I guess.
    SHARKSPRITE: SQUEAK! SEE YA! I'LL BE SWIMMING IF YOU NEED ME, THERE'S LOTS OF FISH TO BE EATEN, THOUGH IT SEEMS THE COLD WATER IS MAKING THEM DISAPPEAR.


    >Shark: Return Upstairs and see if Gavin's online.

    You walk back up the stairs trying to clear your mind of the echoing 'SQUEAKs!'. Checking Pesterchum, it looks like Gavin isn't online. Probably exploring his planet or something. You can't blame him. Admittedly, even with all the destruction this game has caused, you think the whole planet concept is pretty cool, and it's really tickling at your fancy for astronomy.

    >Shark: Try and re-locate server disc.

    After such an adventure to find it earlier today, you feel sort of discouraged to find it, but you take a look around your room anyway. The imps that have been in here have taken a liking to flipping all your furniture over, so you have to flip it all back over so it doesn't bother your slight OCD. No server disc in here. You sure hope an Imp didn't eat it or something. Maybe it's downstairs.
     
  13. pyromancerLaurentius

    pyromancerLaurentius Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    Shark: Be Lance
    You are now Lance again, and it seems that you need to retrieve your phone as quickly as possible, it's buzzing as fervently as it possibly can.
    Lance: Get phone.
    Calluses are dead Skin, which covers the more integral parts of Hands, which can touch a Screen, that could be part of a phone!
    Shhhhhhit the modus has deemed that logic too shaky. It reassigns your phone to Felt, because doing the same thing over again expecting different results is madness.
    Lance: Hurry up and get the damn phone!
    Crap uh...
    Felt is part of a Pool Table, which is similar in name to a Swimming Pool. Swimming pools contain Water, which is hazardous to Electronics like a Phone. Thank God.
    Lance: Be pestered.

    -- underseaCactus [UC] began pestering lysogenicLeukocyte [LL] at 11:21 --
    UC: Lance?
    LL: Greetings once again, Shark.
    LL: What news?
    UC: Haven't seen you online in awhile.
    UC: Lots of news.
    LL: Really?
    LL: My innternet must be fucking up or some such.
    UC: In case you hadn't realized, the earth is currently being pelted with meteors.
    LL: I've been on as long as I've been up.
    LL: And yeah I heard.
    LL: Is it that big f a deal?
    UC: Yeah, it's a pretty big deal.
    LL: Damn, I the way Father portrayed it it was an inconvenience at worst
    UC: Long story short, Sburb caused the meteors to fall somehow, but you can use the game to escape earth's destruction to a planet inside the game.
    LL: Damn.
    LL: And I thouhgt I was a writer.
    UC: So, yeah, do you have the game?
    LL: Yep.
    LL: I'm installing the server vearion right now.
    LL: It's fucking MOLASSES though.
    LL: Hang on lemme check the progress...
    LL: About 50%.
    UC: Well, if you're installing the server copy, you should find someone with a client copy and connect to them as their host.
    LL: Alright.
    UC: I'm not exactly sure who has the client copy and who doesn't, but I know that Gavin and I are already in the game, and Lucy currently has no copies.
    LL: Good to know.
    LL: I'll check in on whoever else's on line in a sec.
    UC: But, yeah, I'm going to go try to find out more about this game, so I'll talk to you later.
    LL: Seeya!
    UC: I'll keep you posted- good luck.
    -- underseaCactus [UC] ceased pestering lysogenicLeukocyte [LL] at 11:29 --

    Well, it seems you need to-

    -- blackjackHunter [BH] began pestering lysogenicLeukocyte [LL] at 23:19 --
    BH: Sup, son?
    LL: Not much, pops.
    LL: Any you?
    LL: OK, I have to acknowledge I mean to say "And you?" and I've fucked up there.
    BH: Nothing, rally
    BH: I just fought my Bro.
    BH: Wow.... Totally unrad.
    LL: Derriere destroyed?
    BH: I just get my ass kicked, and I have to deal with this.
    LL: Care to elaborate?
    BH: I had to get SBURB. And he had it. It was coming anyways, Lance.
    LL: Ah, I see.
    BH: Cuz, sonio, Lucy kept yelling at moi to go get it.
    LL: Sometimes I feel like the only one who doesn't have to do stupid shit to get anything out of their guardian.
    BH: Apparently the worlds gonna kick the bucket. And yeah. You are right
    LL: Yeah Shark mentioned something about that.
    LL: Did you actually GET your copies, by the by?
    BH: Hell yes! Not even my Bro can stop the Steamrolling King of Awesome
    LL: (I just love to pull this on people, not personal at all) But steamrollers are really damn slow...
    LL: But regardless, good to hear.
    BH: Mhm? Slow and steady wins the race, Ice cream boy
    LL: You don't really seem the type, leather jacket.
    BH: Yeah, cuz the fast guys ace tha race, Ice King. And Im faster than the speed of your brain.
    LL: Care to clarify the difference, Death the Kid?
    BH: Should I? Or will it melt the ice covering your hair? Its very hot you know! Radiation from me, ya see
    BH: But insults aside, have you got SBURB?
    LL: Indeed I have! Not exactly a challenge for one of my caliber.
    LL: As I have previously noted: I'm the only one who has won the respect of their guardian.
    BH: Since you have the easiest challenges, whats yo caliber? 0.001 mm?
    BH: The respect? It really doesnt count as much, since your guradian sells ice cream.
    BH: In any case, Im waiting for SBURB to load. I assume I should become your server player?
    LL: Sorry sick-nasty, I'm loading Server files tooo.
    BH: Hello?
    LL: Shit, evidently my internet's taking a MASSIVE dump all over the inside of its pants
    BH: Well, Ill disconnect. ((Put this on your post))
    -- blackjackHunter [BH] ceased pestering lysogenicLeukocyte [LL] at 23:37 --
    LL: I suppose that'll be a problem regardless though.
    LL: Crap
    -- blackjackHunter [BH] ceased pestering lysogenicLeukocyte [LL] at 23:37 --

    Real charmer, that one. You don't even feel sorry for pestering him again for those two lines. Not to mention that it was minutes between every reply, no WAY he'd let that happen.
    However, it seems your connection is failing.
    Lance: Look out of your window.
    You look out the window into the red glow rising above the town. No wonder your connection is down, the nearest wireless tower must be destroyed.
    Lance: Consider ramifications
    Yeah today's looking to be stellar, barely mid-morning and the world's ending.
     
  14. Alucard I

    Alucard I King Homestuck I

    =>Be Alucard

    All of a sudden... Yes, again. You're Alucard. All this suddenness, happening here and there...

    =>

    You finally arrive back to your lair. What a tiring trip. Tiragung immediately kicks you off his back and go to sleep. Argh, this beast never listens to you.

    =>Yell on your friend to make him go home

    It doesn't even move. Pfft.

    =>

    You pass the waterfall and go home. Quickly and silently.

    =>Look around in search of witnesses

    Hey, no-one is here! You're alone in the dark so you can...

    =>Open your secret chest

    ...Open your secret chest! And you do this quickly. And silently. What is it here?

    =>Take a strange black box

    It's not a strange black box! It's your favourite Game Troll Advance! Ot GTA for short.

    =>

    Since all your life you loved different games and spend all spare time playing them, you do this again - you fire up the wonderful story about Alternian Sun!

    =>Realise you still haven't installed SGRUB beta

    You realise it. And?

    =>Install it

    You take your beta and insert it in your computer. A console have opened, with some white words on it. You have no idea what does it mean because you don't know ~ATH language. But alright, here's a progress bar, so it's okay probably.

    =>Go back to your black box

    Taking GTA in your hands brings you to the wonderful game, where young troll was told to be the only savior of magic. You sit quietly, play the game and wait for something interesting to happen.
     
  15. >Tobi: Investigate hole in wall.

    You head into the living room and what appears to be your Dad's car is smashed through the wall of the house. You'd investigate further but you don't care enough at the moment to bother. You have bigger problems right now.

    >Tobi: Return to computer.

    You return to your computer to find yourself viewing Gavin's house again. You haven't got anything you want to do there so you minimize the window.

    >Tobi: Pester Lucy.

    You pester Lucy to tell her happy birthday.

    >Tobi: Be Pestered.

    Chet pesters you in regards to the Beta. Speaking of the beta, you'd better try to find your Client disc so that somebody can connect to you.

    >Tobi: Investigate Dad's room.

    You try, but the door is locked and you don't have a key.

    >Tobi: Investigate car crash.

    Since you have nothing else you could possibly investigate, you choose to investigate the car crash. The car is definitely your Dad's, and that is definitely him behind the wheel. You check his breathing, but he still seems to be alive.

    >Tobi: Loot pockets.

    You quickly steal:

    (1) Note
    (4) Keys

    You capchalogue them and write them down in your notebook. You also write yourself a note to get a new notebook, this one is filling up fast.

    >Tobi: Investigate car interior.

    You check the rest of the interior of the car, but the Beta isn't there. While looking, you notice that the house across the street is now a smoldering crater. That may explain why your Dad crashed into the wall.

    >Tobi: Stop using the word investigate.

    You make a mental note to remove the word investigate from your vocabulary, then immediately forget about it.

    >Tobi: Try keys on Dad's door.

    You manage to open the door with one of the keys and enter your Dad's room. The Beta disk is sitting on his nightstand.

    >Tobi: Go back to your room.

    You are heading back to your room when you notice something in the rubble of the wall in front of the car. It looks like fur...

    >Tobi: Investigate Examine rubble.

    You move a few chunks of wall away from the wall to reveal Vulpes. You can't tell if he's breathing or not.

    >Tobi: Flip the fuck out.

    You proceed to flip to fuck out.
     
    pyromancerLaurentius likes this.
  16. GravityFlux

    GravityFlux Guest

    >Be Neil
    Neil is you, and you are Neil. Yeah, annoying, no?

    >S: STRIFE!
    Time to go fast, or go home! You raise your weapon, only for your Bro to dissapear..... and then reapppear.. right next to you. Shit. The incoming barrage of strikes makes you wish you HAD taken the other scythe!
    >NEIL:Get scythe-hilted into a wall
    HACK! Oh shit, no. You get pummeled into the railing of the terrace. You can see down from here. Not terrifying. At all. Right? Whatevs. Wait, whats coming at you from the fron-OHSHIT
    >NEIL: DODGE
    You fail to dodge horribly, and get hit in the solar plexus. It takes the wind out of you. But no, you can't buckle. As your Bro re-stances himself and jumps away, then comes at you again, you bring yourself to your knees. The ground looks good. You grin, and through your shades, if anyone could see them, they would see a fire burning.
    >NEIL: Get up
    Your Bro is rushing at you with incredible speed. He already has a good combo, so damage meter must be high. You pull yourself up, and realize your Bro is milliseconds away!
    >NEIL: Counterattack........ Blaze-style
    C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER! You use you plastic scythe to defend, and youth roll right between his legs, cutting his shoelaces on the way. Then, you start a barrage of rage attacks, unaware of your scythe starting to crack.
    >NEIL: Get whacked into a wall.......again
    Welp, your Bro isn't even hurt! And he's kicked you into a wall. Yet again
    >NEIL: Look around
    You look around, and you see that you are this close to the SBURB Beta disks. This battle is futile. No way you'll win. And you don't have time on your side!
    >NEIL: Captchalogue the disks and run.
    You captchalogue the disks, and get to your feet. The Disks replace the Blackjack card, thereby making go full speed at your Bro. It stuns him. Hmm, for the first time in your life, this has worked out for you. You make a run for it
     
    pyromancerLaurentius likes this.
  17. Ikbenbeter

    Ikbenbeter Pangalactic Porcupine

    > Lucy: Pester people.

    You rub your hands together and hover them above the keyboard. You pick out a troll first.

    -- redesignedPerspective [RP] began pestering twistedFacade [TF] --
    RP: Hey.
    -- redesignedPerspective [RP] lost connection to the internet --


    > Lucy: Be annoyed at connection.

    Is mister whiteguy going at it again? You do see a white flicker. Your wifi stays down for a while, and doesn't go back up. Nothing to do but make some sweet tea and sleep.

    > Lucy: Make sweet tea and sleep.

    You don't like sweet tea, you prefer bitter tea. So you make bitter tea and sleep.

    > Sagacious Learner: Sort books in nice and orderly fashion.

    You sort the books in your room in such a manner that a visitor can easily find the one they want.

    > SL: Make the books into a fort.

    Yes.

    > SL: Look at console.

    You already looked at it. You entered some ISBNs (Inter-Skaian Book Numbers) into it, but it did nothing. All that's there is a weird guy.

    > SL: Go outside.

    You can't go outside, you're locked into this room! At least you're safe in your book fort. You should try pressing buttons on the console, but your courage isn't high enough to exit this fort. You just wait here, for something to happen.

    > SL: Read books.

    You start reading books. You already read most of them trice, but some only twice so you read those. Good old books.

    > DD: Read newspaper.

    You start reading your 'news'paper again. You already read it fifty times, but you don't care. It takes your mind of searching for her, which you don't want to do.

    > DD?: Discuss plans with wise and just leader.

    You go over the plan with the wise and just leader. She explains the simple plan again. You wonder why she doesn't ask her other agents. She explains that Noir would be a dangerous and volatile factor to the plan. You refrain from pointing out that he has been listening to the entire time from over there.

    > Jack Noir: Make own plans.

    While the wise and just leader makes her plans, you'll make your own plans with the heir and recruit the thief through him. If only he would wake up...
     
  18. The Demon of Borders

    The Demon of Borders King Homestuck 4.13

    > Hemoss: Arrive at CD depot

    The building's blown wide open with various disks strewn everywhere like a bomb went off. Most of them are shattered, but some are intact. Better watch your feet.


    >Hemoss: Inspect pile of cases

    There's a bunch of boxes for bad romance movies piled on a counter. You wonder who in their right mind would want these. Regardless, you peer through the pile. Nothing of interest.


    > Hemoss: Frisk aisles

    There's actually a small section for blank disks here. You think for a minute what you could put them under. Your grubtop is under relaxed and your medical supplies are under content, so you decide you should stack as many disks as you can and stack them into angry. Hopefully you'll forget that you have them under angry, or realize that they're under angry and that will get you angry, triggering the disks, making you content, dropping the medical supplies. God, your modus is complicated.


    > Hemoss: Begin loot-mania

    You grab just about every intact disk you can find and put them onto a disk holder. You captchalogue it under "angry" and hope for the best.
     

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