Hmm... I think I'd like to reword Anne's Gift a bit, if only to expand upon its potential a bit more, stressing the fact that it won't be anywhere near that at the beginning. I'll have you check on that, maybe? I'm thinking about a potential extension to the 'spawn' and 'maximum' ranges, from 3 and 30 feet to 6 and 60 feet respectively, aside from the already-written potential of 'more complex, more conceptual and more physics-breaking creations'. So... Among the voyages to Derika that isn't an ETG trap, are there 'commercial' services that send off multiple people at once, or are most of them limited to rich private companies that may not accept extra boarders? Milkcalf's application did mention about a boat containing multiple Gifted heading off toward Derika, after all, and heavy steel-plated cruisers really doesn't feel very commonplace. Speaking of Milkcalf's application, that's actually an idea for an IC meeting. (She'll likely sleep through the boat trip until woken up, though, being almost borderline narcoleptic and such) Also, what I'm kinda asking for clarification on is what happens to immigrants after they dock, likely near Brinkhaven, and what happens to immigrants that want to enter Brinkhaven... A map would be nice, now that I think about it.
There's little to nothing once you dock in Derika, There IS a slightly large housing so if the weather is terrible everyone could take shelter there, The road to Brinkhaven is slightly a long walk through jungles mainly but you could come across some crazy wildlife, Once you reach Brinkhaven the most you would do is get checked that you are a gifted and are allowed inside..From my knowledge there are these known Biomes: Jungle, Plains/Rocky area, Desert, Swampy(I think) and thats it...(I think)
I did use the word 'yet'.His full potential would be the same as now but without these weakneses↓. I just though that there would be a gifted who owns a ship and is about to escape to Derika who would let other gifted in to the ship. But there could also be a ship traveling to Derika and back to get as many gifted to safety as possible. What comes to Anna being in the same ship as Colin. Sure! Good idea! Where do you want to start? When the ship docks or before that?
Hrmm... Yeah, I'm gonna find a map convenient at about this time. I still have no idea what's between the port and Brinkhaven, and what I do know is that I'm very likely to meet @Stu and Improved - and probably @MilkCalf , if he wants. The former at the Brinkhaven bridge, and the latter while in the boat. What do people usually use to go places, like from the port to Brinkhaven, anyway? And how dangerous are the surrounding wildlife? I don't know much, so I'm either going to have to ask for help from the GMs/mods, or... Oh, by the way, I finished editing stuff if @Ryik or @Mattie_ wants to take a look. Minor change, though. EDIT: Whoa, ninja'd. Well, I figured the boat-ride would take a while, so it's up to you, really. If you do want to meet up with Anna before the boat docks, though, you'd probably have to post first - she'll be sleeping in her quarters anywhere past the first 30 minutes or so of the ride, and Colin is technically not riding the boat legally.
Ok...Fred...Im not a person to accept apps but..Just...Im sorry just no put more effort into your app...
I think it would take about half a day to get to Derika but im not completely sure, Its an estimate..
...I actually haven't thought much of that myself. The fact that Anna's family is used to moving around makes it easier, though; how about "the nearest coast in America to Derika"? The island is in the middle of the Pacific, correct? That means I'd probably set the starting point at somewhere near Los Angeles/San Diego/San Fransisco. Or something. Yeah, San Diego looks good, judging from what Google Maps is telling me. Also, This is one of the examples of what people should avoid while writing an RP character sheet most of the time. Especially by the fact that he missed one of the not-so-optional sections. *cough*History*cough*
So the detail I haven't given is enough? You could have just said that instead of implying it to other people to make me feel bad.
Well, I can nitpick further, but I'll leave it to the people in charge to accept or not. Peoples' standards differ, so what may be acceptable to one may not be to the other. Though more detail overall would be nice. For now I'll just leave it to you to figure out what I mean about 'more detail overall' since I'm on a lazy mood.
I never like to be rude Fred, But...That app is not gonna get accepted in its current state and your gift MIGHT be one of the reasons..besides you know not having a history, It looks like you put little to know effort at all to the app and personally I would not accept it... EDIT: Mattie has given me permission to accept and Deny apps, this will be my first time doing so, please forgive me if my judgement is a bit bad Fred Meat: Your Gift is looking very OP, He doesnt have alot of weaknesses for that ability, Migraines are not technically a weakness if you are in charge of when you get them, Looking at the weaknesses I seriously think you should rethink your gift and weaknesses along with your Equipment...All in All your app needs work, maybe work on your History as well but mainly either rethink your gift(I would suggest it as it is really OP, I can explain myself if you want) and your equipment(Dont forget about the weaknesses)
Eugh ok hmm....Im gonna say MAYBE a week or less, I would really just roleplay it that your characters are getting really close to Derika and are preparing to get off the boat and start the walk to Brink haven if you are gonna be doing that...
Guess there's good things that come from being helplessly OCD, then. I learned partially from the Great Devas of Writing of the Starbound Forums, amongst them Mercenary Lord and Nababoo, so I couldn't help it. Also, I just got the mood, so I'll nitpick on @Fred Meat now. Name, Age, and Gender are obvious enough that I'd look dumb if I nitpick on that. Appearance... Well, it's good enough, and I've seen similar ones accepted. Personality is optional anyway. History is relatively short, but I found it to be encompassing enough that I don't see anything that I could pick on. Aside from the details, but you know what they say - details. Equipment? I'd say the only thing I need to pick on is the 'various guns' bit. Maybe elaborate on that a little, specifying just how many guns of how many types you have. And if you have a lot of 'em, you'll have to remember you can't bring them all unless you have hammerspace, and hammerspace you have not. You know, 'various guns' can theoretically be used as an excuse for pulling out any number of esoteric guns out of your metaphorical ass. Just saying. Gift and Weakness... I'd say that mas0n's worries are valid, but maybe you could expand on it further without having to resort to a complete swap. You say that your character's mind works so fast as to make him seemingly perceive the world slower, and I would assume it functions similarly to the 'time-freezes-so-you-have-time-to-think' occurences in multiple video games... But what about your body? Does it move as fast as the mind? If yes, you're probably looking at time control, which is totally overpowered without having serious restrictions in play. If not, then it's just similar to superpowered reflexes (or something), and is significantly less overpowered, as there may be many occurences where your body just can't react fast enough - and it's not like all the thinking in the world would always help you out. Elaborate, maybe? Koolio. I'll probably be getting ready, but it'll take time. EDIT: Also, @mas0n99 and @samsan99 should probably look into a technique called 'collaborative posting' or 'collab posting' if they're the only ones conversing for now.
