This is one of the things I constantly think about when playing Stardew Valley. How bad is Demetrius’ and Sebastian’s relationship as stepfather and stepson. Sebastian constantly complains that Demetrius tells him how to live his life and in winter says that he built a “snow goon” and that Demetrius told him to destroy it while he left Maru’s snowman completely untouched. However, I see no evidence of Demetrius mistreating Sebastian. No events where you see Demetrius talking down to Sebastian and no events showing them engaging at all. I’ve never even see Demetrius mention Sebastian’s name. I’ve never seen him have ANY dialog where he mentions Sebastian in any way. This is where I get very confused. Sebastian says Demetrius is always talking down to him and belittling him, yet we (at least I haven’t) seen any evidence of this. Is Sebastian being an overly sensitive little brat who can’t take even the smallest criticism or advice from his stepfather or is Demetrius mentally and verbally abusing Sebastian behind closed doors and hides it behind a fake smile when anyone comes around? I’d like to see some kind of heart event. One where we finally see what exactly is happening. The event could be you stumble in upon a heated argument between Sebastian and Demetrius over something, Demetrius is finally seen by the player being just as mentally abusive as Sebastian describes. Or the event could be the same thing, only Demetrius is the one trying to be reasonable and Sebastian is the one being unruly. I just want SOMETHING to bridge the gap between the two. To finally see the stepdad and stepson get along and smile together. There could even be a later event where Demetrius apologizes to Sebastian for not being a good stepfather and wants to try to get along for once or vice versa where Sebastian apologizes for being an unruly stepson who wanted nothing to do with his stepdad and wants to try to start things over. Maybe they could bond over something like a computer. Sebastian tells Demetrius all the technological sciencey stuff it takes to do coding and make video games and Demetrius tells Sebastian about all the stuff that goes into making electronics; like gold, silver, crystals and other minerals it takes to make computer chips. This may sound stupid and cliche, hell it does sound stupid and cliche even to me but I just hate leaving this bridge gapped. I want to see them at least make amends and put an end to their feud, fight, disagreements, scuffle, bickering, whatever the heck it is. Anyone else feel the same?
I think it's possible there's a combination of factors occurring here, where it's not really anyone's fault. Demetrius IS more critical of Sebastian than he should be, but it might not be as bad as Sebastian makes it out to be... EXCEPT, that his point of comparison is Maru, whom Demetrius sings praises of almost constantly. So, I think it might be that Demetrius is a little insensitive and critical, but since it only ever seems directed at Sebastian and not Maru, Sebastian takes it more personally than Demetrius intends it. I think we never see them interact in the present because they've just given up communicating. Demetrius thinks Sebastian takes everything too personally and it frustrates him, because he doesn't think he's done anything wrong. Sebastian thinks Demetrius is overly critical of him, so he avoid him as much as he can. The end result is the stalemate they're in when the Farmer shows up. I think Maru and Sebastian's relationship is a similar issue. Sebastian probably felt put out and upset that Maru got constant praise and he got criticism instead. Maru, given how close she is to her dad, probably felt awkward about Sebastian's overt dislike of her father, and was also likely unaware of WHY Sebastian felt uncomfortable around her. So, they both wound up avoiding each other without ever getting to talk out the problem. And I guess it's all just gotten worse from there. I'd really love an endgame event when the whole Science House is at 10 Hearts that lets us get them all to sit down and just TALK about these issues. Much as I dislike Demetrius, neither he nor anyone else in that family are bad people. I think it's all just miscommunication and misunderstanding piling onto each other because nobody ever confronted anyone about anything, so it's all just been festering quietly in the background. It's sad, because they all share interests in technology from different perspectives, so they might actually get along really well.
Well, DreamerDrop pretty much said what I was going to say. haha It's likely a bit of both and having come from a childhood with a step-parent I can attest that relationships can be rocky. (Mine was downright awful but I won't go into specifics here.) Sebastian still carries that with him after you marry him. He talks about being able to do whatever he wants without being nagged at and he bets Maru's happy he's gone. He's utterly convinced himself that she and Demetrius hate him. He does go visit his mom every Monday though and says she deserves to be happy so there's at least good ties there. Seeing the family issues resolved is something a lot of Sebastian and Maru fans have been asking for since the beginning.
Well, since I am hooked by this problem, i did a bit of research and here are the results : -Seb isn't much older than Maru. They are both eligable and both still a bit young. So Robin must have changed partners really quick....not to mention she also got quickly pregnant again. - Seb isn't living in the basement because he wants to. He even complains about not having a window (I can understand). I mean, Robin is a carpenter and who on earth puts his or her children in a dark room without any windows? - They don't mention sharing a room, so they maybe moved Sebastian down there when he was still a young child. Again: Why??? Plus in case of fire he is trapped. - Demetrius is always talking about how Maru is his precious child. Nice, but he has another child too. - They don't even talk much about him. - Seb tell us about fights and the snow goon. So after all of this I really think, Demetrius is kind of a jerk and Robin too. I mean, she can build a whole Coop within three days and didn't have the time to build at least a small window in his room? I know, you have do dig to make one in the basement, but it is her son. She doesn't even care about him beeing trapped if there would be a fire or Demetrius experiments going wrong AMD releasing toxic gas. I can put Demetrius aside because I don't like his whole personality (clearly controlling Maru even after he apologizing and showing Robin how smart he is with the tomato thing-I mean, come on, you could just have corrected her before shopping), but I can't find an excuse for Robin. I would be heartbroken if my step dad treated me like this, but thankfully he is a wonderful person. But my mom would never have a relationship if he would be like this. She always asked if we were okay with it and if he treats us good. And he did, so I also treat him like my dad.
I agree with the above assessments of the situation, as well. I would like to see at least an inkling of a reconciliation arc between the two of them, and one that also brings Robin and Maru in. Honestly, I think that Seb is treated as the odd one out in his own family--a leftover from Robin's previous life whose personality is very different, likely in part because of his experience. Maybe that sounds harsh, but I've just seen it too many times in real life to dismiss Seb as just being angsty or what have you. In my reading of the situation, it's obvious that Demetrius favours Maru. He never stops talking about her and how great she is, but never mentions Seb at all. Robin does talk about him, but doesn't seem to do anything to step in on behalf of her son. Maru never really mentions him or interacts with him, either, but two siblings doing that is different (not fine and dandy, but different). I wish we knew more of the history, because we're really coming to the story late when the kids are already adults. Do I think that Seb is perfect, or an easy person to be the stepfather of? No, and he's obviously quite bitter and withdrawn at this point. But I also think it's the responsibility of the step parent to build the foundation for a good relationship and to do the bulk of the work reaching out and maintaining it. After all, a stepchild doesn't really have a say in the situation most of the time, and it can be very disruptive to their life. (I'm not a stepchild myself, but I knew an ex's bad stepfather up close and personal for years, and it was pretty heartbreaking. So I'll admit that the Demetrius/Seb situation hits close to home, but I don't think I'm reading too much beyond what's presented to us.)
I personally think half siblings is being used in place of step siblings with Maru and Sebastian. Nothing about them or how they act suggests they've been living together very long. I don't think they're actually blood related, I think Maru just says half brother instead of step brother for some reason. (Maybe she thinks step brother sounds too distant?) As for the basement, fire hazards aside, Robin knows Sebastian is a quiet and private person. She might have given him the basement because she thought he'd prefer it down there where it's quiet and he's not forced to deal with the family all the time. Additionally, I think it's possible the house was built before Maru or Demetrius showed up. I think Maru got Sebastian's old room and he volunteered to take the basement himself since he wanted his privacy when they moved in. Of course, none of this makes sense if Robin really is Maru's biological mother. But a lot if it feels weird if that's the case, honestly.
It seems a little weird- and even unlikely- that someone who is as scientific and precise as Maru is would substitute a term with a different meaning for another word. That said, Demetrius ignoring Sebastian's existence outside of the house, but apparently talking down to him and treating him unfairly compared to how he treats Maru definitely hints at Demetrius not caring much about the relationship anymore. He obviously did at one point- or at least wanted to seem like he did- given the book on Step-Parenting you can find in the house. But there are definitely some things that imply that he has a negative bias toward Sebastian. But his relationship with Maru isn't exactly healthy either, so it seems like he doesn't have much skill at parenting in general, and Sebastian being who he is makes it easier for Demetrius to justify criticizing him without ever praising him and to slowly push Sebastian out of family activities.
Sometimes I wonder if he bought that book or if Robin bought it for him. Agreed, his relationship isn't great with either of them. I can't get over those Maru scenes and never liked him after that. Also the fruit/vegetable thing.
I don't think Robin is her step-mother. The wiki lists them as mother and daughter and also says that Maru is her child with Demetrius. I know it is different in a (non-official) translation in another german wiki, but this one has a load of other horrible translation mistakes. I think they also call each other mother and daughter in some dialogs.
Well, the wiki isn't exactly canon, and I don't think it's unusual for step-families to address each other without the step prefix. The only reason I don't do it is because I was already twenty when my mother started dating my step-dad so it doesn't feel like he ever got the chance to be my dad anyway. If I'd known him longer, I'd talk about him as my dad without issue. Since Maru likes Robin, I think it's plausible that she just calls her mother without specifics attached since she's comfortable with it. Obviously that's just a personal anecdote though. But, you're still right. The game says that Maru and Sebastian are half-siblings, so the implication is that Maru is Robin's daughter. I'm just veering into head-canon territory with this now, since the timeline feels weird if that's the case. (Sebastian and Maru are pretty close in age, they're both probably in their early twenties... The way they talk about each other makes it sound like they didn't even grow up together, so I just find it odd.)
I don't personally consider Seb to be quite that young, mid twenties at best. (He's been out of high school long enough to skip college and start up a freelance programming career and that takes a few years to get up and running, which is why I think he's a little older.) So there can be at least a 5 year difference between them, but yeah that still would have made Seb really young when his dad left. I wish we could know more about that too, like what happened and how Seb feels about his biological father.
We aren't even sure what happened to Seb's dad. He could be dead for all we know. But its clear the absence of his real dad has had some kind of impact on him.
That's what I was getting at - that we don't necessarily know if Robin and Seb's dad actually split/divorced, or if something tragic happened that took his dad away when he was still very little. They don't have any dialogue that alludes to that (whereas Alex and Penny both do). Step-parent/child relationships are tricky, and I think anyone who's fortunate enough to have a good relationship with a step-parent/child is among a lucky few. There's always this weirdness because the kid thinks "you're not my real dad/mom" and the parent thinks "this isn't my kid, why should I put up with that behavior?", and both see the other as competition for the real parent's attention (Robin in this case), leading both to resent the other because of it. When you lose communication, as it seems Seb and Demetrius have, things only fester and get worse. Seb is under the assumption that Demetrius is out to get him, so he hides in his room all day and shuts everyone out. On the other side of the wall, Demetrius doesn't know what to do because he can never seem to do/say the right thing, so he's given up trying. Add to that Demetrius gloating about how wonderful Maru is and that just pushes Seb further away and causes him to resent Maru too, so his relationship with his sister suffers as well (and from some of the dialogue you get from her, she would actually like a better relationship with her brother). It's a negative feedback loop that won't stop unless someone steps in and acts as a mediator. Robin won't because I'm not even sure she's aware there's a problem, so the farmer would be the next logical choice since we poke our nose in everyone else's business anyway. lol
I agree whole heartedly. I want us to be able to repair their broken bonds and actually see the entire family smile and hug it out and be happy from then on. Family members hating each other is in my opinion one of the saddest things there is. Even if they're not blood related its still heartbreaking.
I have quite a few friends with divorced parents, some of them with half-siblings. Most of them are on good terms with their step parents and vice versa. What still confuses me about all that is, no matter if Robin lost or divorced Sebastians dad, is that there is a really small Age gap between them. I mean, Maru is most probably around 20-25 (I can only guess from a german point, because I don't know the american educational system). She seems to be very smart, so she probably has the Abitur (it is the best graduation you can get from a regular school and you need it for most universities) so she is around 17/18. Then she has to be an apprantice for at least 3 years (otherwise you can't work as a nurse here). She maybe has already worked a few years for Harvey. So she can't be very much younger than Sebastian. Which leads me to the question: How on earth did Robin manage to change her partners so quickly and get pregnant again? It just seems a bit akward to me. But this is all based on my calculations. I don't know how you become a nurse in America or how old you are after High School.
Eh, a lot of that just depends on what you interpret their ages at. We're never actually told so we can only speculate, and even then, this is still a fantasy world so who knows what their educational system is like really. Here in the US you graduate high school at 18 and then take at least a couple years of college (though that depends on how long you wait in between and what degree you go for). So you may graduate at 20 or 22 or even older. All that aside, it's not the question of how Robin got pregnant so fast, that only takes one time. lol But she must have gotten a new boyfriend pretty quickly. Maybe she already knew Demetrius and things just kinda happened.
Dual enrollment is a thing in the USA, which the Ferngill Republic seems to be based on. (Or maybe it just seems that way because I live in the USA) Dual enrollment is where you attend highschool and college at the same time, and (in my state at least) the state covers the costs for the courses- you have to buy materials though. Some states apparently allow it as young as grade 6, but grade 8 is the minimum I've personally seen. Which means, if Maru did do dual enrollment and started it that year, she would have been 13-14. Add in a Bachelor's in nursing taking four years in the USA, and she could graduate with either a Bachelor's Degree in Nursing at ages 17-18 or she could have started at grade 10 which is more common and finished a Bachelor's when she was 20. Or she could be a nursing tech, which is two years of college level education. Which means she can be as young as 18 years old, though she's probably a year or two older. Sebastian seems to be in his early twenties, at minimum given that he goes to the bar, whereas, to my memory, Maru never does. That said, given the pressure she's under by Demetrius, I wouldn't be surprised if she did start dual enrollment as soon as she started high school. She's obviously proven herself reliable enough that Harvey doesn't even hesitate about leaving her as the only staff in the office. College could be another point of contention- if Sebastian is self taught in coding and didn't get a college degree in it, it could explain why everyone is so dismissive of his coding career. If we assume that he's the only one who doesn't have a college degree (and Robin seems to have one in architecture), it would make him the odd man out, and given how petty Demetrius can be, I wouldn't be surprised if he's made a few comments about how Sebastian isn't "really" a professional coder. On one hand, that makes so much sense. On the other, it lowers my opinion of Robin, because that means she married Demetrius knowing that the child she already had didn't get along with him. Which, from what I've seen with friends and people in school, that sort of thing- a parent choosing a romantic parent over their child- is rather traumatic. It also makes it more likely Demetrius is isolating Sebastian out of malice instead of ignorance. Also- I can't help but think that, given Sebastian wants nothing to do with Maru, something major must have happened to completely remove his desire to associate with her. I can't help but wonder if at some point Sebastian told her how unwanted her felt and Maru, meaning well, told Robin and Demetrius, and Demetrius turned it into an argument about it being Sebastian's fault/him exaggerating the size of the problem. There's also the fact that Sebastian definitely seems like he's battling some depression and anxiety, but seems like he's receiving treatment. Which, I have to wonder how long he was symptomatic before someone clued in.
I think it's possible that she could've gotten it preemptively because she knew that it could be a hard adjustment for both of them regardless of the quality of their relationship early on. Or that problems developed later on and she bought it then. I don't actually have a concrete opinion about who bought the book, myself, I just speculate. But yeah, it would definitely be... not cool if she married him knowing that it wasn't going to be great for her son. I don't personally think that that's the case, but it's a fair interpretation. I think Seb would've been very young and the problems hadn't really presented themselves yet. I also don't think that Demetrius was necessarily a jerk to him from the beginning, but resentments slowly built over the years until they ended up where they are now.
Thank you for telling me more about your educational system, Ghostly Fox! I love learning about new things, especially other countries. Well, if Robin bought it, she could also have done it because Demetrius told her that he is not sure how to treat Sebastian. On the other hand, I wouldn't marry someone when I am not sure if he gets along with my children (if I had any).
