Other Deleted

Discussion in 'Fan Works' started by Tagraneya, Mar 17, 2017.

?

I don't know who to choose for the main characters love interest. My first choice is Sebby

  1. Sebastian

    50.0%
  2. Abbigail

    37.5%
  3. Harvey

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. Penny

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  5. Shane

    12.5%
  6. Maru

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. Tagraneya

    Tagraneya Guest

    deleted
     
      Last edited by a moderator: Mar 20, 2017
    • Alkanthe

      Alkanthe Supernova

      I love the mysterious, fairy-like charm of the story so far! Putting my vote in, and I'll be watching this for development!
       
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      • Alkanthe

        Alkanthe Supernova

        *hugs Tagra* Sounds like she's been through a lot... I hope she finds happiness in Stardew Valley! : P

        Well, I guess we kinda do know she will...
         
        • Risukage

          Risukage Giant Laser Beams

          Well, that confirms that I'm a terrible person; I felt more sadness at the thought of losing saved files than the grandfather. Since we've confirmed that Tagra is a better person than I am, let's hope that things pick up for her soon-ish. Not TOO soon, gotta set up a good backstory to allow them to properly achieve greatness, but I think she's been though enough for now. ;P
           
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          • Tagraneya

            Tagraneya Guest

            I saw a thread on how to add more animals/ have a cat and a dog in a single save file for stardew valley. So like a dingus. I didn't back up my file and messed up the codes hard. So, no coding for this little person. haha oh well.

            My story is going to be a little bit on the dark side, with more dark back story. However, I have decided to add more fantasy with it so there will be magical glittery moments thrown in with the shadows! No worries, it wont be a dirge the whole read.

            P.s. I squee-ed a little when I saw you read my fanfic. I really like your stuff.
             
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            • Alkanthe

              Alkanthe Supernova

              You really are drawing me into this world! I love all the details you've added to it. And it looks like something's brewing on the romantic front... I wonder if anything will come of it...
               
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              • ShneekeyTheLost

                ShneekeyTheLost Master Astronaut

                I really enjoy your writing style. The main character has wounds, but is going to potentially be able to heal from them. It won't be quick or easy. And her introduction to Abigail was just... amusing. Quick gal, though. First day on the farm, and she's already got a date!

                I look forward to seeing where this is going
                 
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                • Tagraneya

                  Tagraneya Guest

                  That is exactly what I wanted to do with the details. Thanks for the feed back Miss Alkane. I always love the books that describe things in detail and wanted to emulate that.

                  We will both have to see where the romance is going! I don't even know who she is going to end up with at this point! haha


                  I'm going to get a fat head with all the praise guys. Thank you. I'm happy to have you guys along for the journey.

                  I think giving the main character various hurts or experiences, like what I'm doing, makes the reader (including myself) feel more empathetic toward the world you/I am reading.

                  Side Note: I am not normally up this late, but a cold has got me sleeping weird.
                   
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                  • Kid Absurdity

                    Kid Absurdity Big Damn Hero

                    I'm intrigued by what I've read so far, and I'll be sticking with your story for a while longer. I like that you're fleshing out a bit of the wider world along with your character, and I'm interested to see your take as the story develops. Your descriptions are a strong point!

                    Because you said you wanted feedback and I want to give you something actionable to work on improving as well as the deserved props on writing well done, I will say that I found Tagra's dialogue in the last chapter jarring, and a bit all over the place. In 3 lines, it jumped from modern and swearing, to archaic pseudo-flirting, and back. It matches up with some deliberate archaic wording choices in your story (grand-sire being the most prominent example, and I'm wondering what the deal with that is), I guess, but didn't seem internally consistent to me. I think that kind of situation with dialogue-writing is natural, especially in the early going. Writing good dialogue is hard.

                    A general thing I do when writing dialogue I'm less certain about is to read it out loud and see if it sounds like it could pass a could I imagine anyone talking like this? test.

                    If you're a planning type, you can sink some time into taking a few notes on how your characters speak normally, and how the way they speak changes with their emotional state, not as rules to force you into anything, but as a guideline that can yield some realism + opportunities for subtle character development down the track.
                     
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                    • Kid Absurdity

                      Kid Absurdity Big Damn Hero

                      [QUOTE="Tagraneya, post: 3135021, member: 792203"

                      Though quick question, is the internal dialog okay? :) [/QUOTE]

                      Yes!
                       

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