Defend Yourself!

NP gave me a yellow rose, not a red one

 

Attack helicopters and cats, that just doesn't work. I spared us some major heartbreak there.

The next poster has a fraudulent diploma.

 

Hey, as long as my patients live in the end, it doesn't matter how many baboon uteruses I put in them with my fake degree.

NP doesn't get it

 

I'm still trying to understand the Necronomicon.

The next poster stole all the bubble wrap.

 

*to busy popping the bubbles to respond*

NP hates people who pronounce the "l" in "salmon"

 

It's "Lachs" in my language, so the L is kinda important though.

The next poster keeps staring at me all seductively but never follows through.

 

Bestiality is illegal

NP likes weird stuff

 

You think the UH-1 was weird? Try that Comanche....

The next poster doesn't like attack helicopters.

 

Nah they are great! They... er are made of metal. Metal is a music genre so cool right? And the spinny things are very... spinny?

The next poster is a heartles monster who hates calves!

 

Quite the contrary, I love me a good kebab every now and then.

The next poster resisted arrest.

 

All i did was steal a loaf of bread.

The next poster has absolutely no concept of 'chill.'

 

Six pots of coffee will do that to you...

The next poster keeps rickrolling people.

 

Good luck trying to make me stop because I'm never gonna give it up, never gonna let it go, never gonna run around and desert it.

NP doesn't appreciate vintage memes

 

I wasn't aware there were wine memes; I don't drink wine anyway.

The NP fell into a synonym trap.

 

All I see are metonyms, I shall survive as long as I pray to Cinnamon, he will protect.

The next poster has no idea how much a proper long-axe should weigh.

 

Why use an axe when you could just burn the whole forest down?

NP is a heretic

 

It's Heretech, thank you. Those Martians don't know true brilliance!

The next poster let The Men of Iron out again.

 

I actually wanted Iron Man, guess I mixed things up there a bit.

The next poster invaded France. Again.

 

Why not? They declared war on me when I invaded Poland again, and I more or less am going to need to take their industrial infrastructure if I want to invade Russia again!
The NP wouldn't be able to know how a BV 141 looked like.

 

I'm more of a helicopter person.

The next poster slit the tires on my APC.