Defend Yourself!

The daycare workers need to be able to deal with that crap SOMEHOW!
The NP is smuggling meth and selling it to kids.

 

Gotta pay the bills somehow and I'm not handsome enough to be an exotic dancer.

The next poster supplies weapons to the IRA.

 

The Scoti clan won't forget where it came from! Fada beo Eirinn!

The next poster stole my de-icer.

 

Again, it was a "gift".
The NP is a kleptomaniac who uses trained blood-red magpies to steal from others, and has stolen lots of things.

 

I do it to impress girls. Haven't stolen any hearts yet tho.

The next poster inserted critical design flaws into the blueprints for the Death Star.

 

I was trying to sabotage it so the Empire would waste resources.
The NP has tried to develop a weapon to surpass Metal Gear.

 

If that makes it any better: it didn't work.

The next poster makes me make horrible life choices.

 

I just invited you to join me at the bar! It's not my fault you went on a drunken bender.

The NP supported prohibition!

 

I spent some time as a gangster, so of course I did, officially.

The np left the stove on.

 

Stove heat can't melt metal pots, that was an inside job.

The next poster outlawed fun.

 

I replaced fun with charging. Laughing as you run down your enemies is the most effective warcry.

The next poster has a weak war face. You need 90 degree turns with the corners of your mouth.

 

I don't need a warface under a shemagh.

The next poster puts avocado on burgers.

 

But it tastes good.

The np dislikes avocados.

 

At least I still have a soul.

The next poster is funnelling funds to terrorist groups on the darknet.

 

Well, Ibecome stronger by fomenting violence so I become stronger by funding them.
The NP is trying to use TVs in order to bring about the end of the world.

 

War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.

The next poster had doubleplusungood thoughts.

 

So what! Are you gonna have Big Brother arrest me for thought crimes?

The next poster lacks a proper killing tool.

 

For now, maybe....

The next poster produces biological weapons.

 

I'm a cat, your laws don't apply to me

NP likes dogs better

 

Dogs can sniff out IEDs. Cats plant IEDs.

The next poster had an illicit relationship with a salmon.