Defend Yourself!

YOU'RE A ****ING WHITE MALE! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

The next poster has children as slave laborers.

 

My spawns, my property.

NP didn't mow the lawn

 

The last time I tried to remove something that even remotly resembled a bush I got a visit from the CIA.

The next poster is a snitch.

 

I had a head injury and needed stitches

NP swung me around a room

 

That's what you get for summoning entities from the void.

The next poster didn't hug me.

 

I feel a bit weird hugging what looks like a starved 10 year old

NP is distracting me

 

What are you even doing here if you don't want to get distracted?

The next poster hides a full shipment of cocaine.

 

*blinks* Are you kidding me? Are you seriously kidding me?

The NP set me up.

 

OK, what? What? I just, nope, even I can't make sense of what just happened here.

The NP didn't get the reference I just made.

 

Guilty as charged.

The NP doesn't like me.

 

Tentacles keep following you everywhere, it's getting annoying

NP is a baka

 

I-it's not like I wanted you to notice me or anything, senpai.

The next poster keeps an ISIS flag in their bedroom.

 

Urusai! Urusai! Urusai!

Next poster-sempai didn't notice me.

 

L_L

Your not my type.


The next poster didn't supply me with nuclear missiles when I asked.

 

Oh but I did! I just... kinda used them to destroy a huge mecha. Sowwy!

The next poster tried to kill me with a huge mecha.

 

It wasn't my fault. I'll have you know a large red button was involved.

The next poster stole my computer.

 

Actually... it was a gift.
The NP owes Slenderman 20 dollars.

 

He's gonna get me anyway, might as well get some cash outta it.

The next poster makes me feel irrationally tired.

 

That is all part of the plan.
The NP never learns the moves when he plays fighting games and only uses button mashing.

 

If it looks stupid but it works, it ain't stupid.

The next poster smuggles cocaine into daycares.