Defend Yourself!

I am far from innocent, but have to, and successfully will, pretend it !

NP caused both the immigrant crisis and the BLM crisis in USA.

 

It was a slow news day.

The next poster made me poor.

 

It's your fault for not keeping your wallet under watch

NP is a snitch

 

I am not, I'm a watchman. And I'll be flogged if I let anyone pass unnoticed!

The next poster doesn't remember Jack, their old shipmate.

 

`How can you expect me to? I can't remember jack. Not after the accident anyway...

NP is the cause of the accident

 

*Cleans knife* Oh, that was no accident.

The NP escalated the situation.

 

It was self-defence!

NP is a felon and should be prosecuted

 

Hey, he insulted me. According to Holmgang he was clear to murder.

The next poster took away my snow and gave me rain.

 

I didn't do that, the water cycle did. Didn't you pass middle school?

NP didn't pass middle school

 

My country's school system doesn't have middle school.

The next poster hasn't showered for two years.

 

I require only scrubbing.

The next poster refused to just call Sean Hannity.

sauce.

 

Sometimes I just love to provoke.

The next poster left the keys upon the table. Why'd you do that?

 

Because it is the key to my heart. I'm glad someone found it!

The next poster unlocked the darkness in their heart.

 

Looks at the swarms of shoggoth and all the elder gods I released.

Meh. Seems my heart is a door to an eldritch plane....

I accuse the next poster of being...the sound....of silence.

 

I didn't choose darkness to be my old friend.

The next poster just killed a man.

 

Meh. They were just a miserable pile of secrets.

The next poster sired a monster.

 

The Yiur bloodline and Miraa Sindrak? Yes. I did sire a monster. More than one actually.

 

Like parent, like child.

The next poster was born to wave the flag, woo it's red, white and blue.

 

Such as the majority of the worlds flags.

The NP is Trump!

 

You mean I'll TRUMP your accusation with my flawless defense, rite?

The next poster is a joker.