Corrupt a wish V.2

Granted, you receive the money. You just have to convert them from 5.14 USD first.

I wish that I was a bird.

 

Your wish granted, but then a hunter shoots you and sells your meat at the local market.

I wish I have an M48 Patton medium tank.

 

Granted, but it comes from Ikea.

I wish for a small rubber skull.

 

Granted, but it is not a skull.

I wish Starbound release a new update.

 

Granted, but no mods will be compatible with the new version.

I wish for a sphere.

 

Granted, it's a colossal sphere which rolls over the Earth and flattens everything in it's path.

I wish for a muffin.

 

Granted, but it has expired a century ago.

I wish for a Hylotl friend.

 

Granted, but they're into cannibalism.

I wish for the ability to shape shift with no negative side effect or pain.

 

Granted, but you forgot how to do it.

I wish for a Floran enemy.

 

granted. this floran over here is now your enemy. say hello!

i wish for chocolate!

 

Granted, but you can't eat it.

I wish I didn't have to suffer.

 

Granted but now you live in an extra comfy house with kitten ^^

I wish I had a zeppelin

 

Granted, but you don't know how to operate it.

I wish I could feel something other than pain.

 

granted, but it's actually pain level 2 so good luck with that

i wish for an avian maid

 

I'm already on level 6.
And now, your wish.
Granted, but she won't do anything you ask of her.

I wish I didn't have crippling depression.

 

Granted, it is now paralyzing saddness.

I wish I didn't lose track of time.

 

granted. a spectral flock of crows carrying pocketwatches will follow you everywhere and yell the time at you every two minutes. "CAW! HALF PAST TWO! CAW!"

i wish for chocolate.

 

Granted, but it's poisoned.

I wish I could be happy.

 

granted, but you get punched in the face (no injury) every 12 minutes

I wish every pokemon game was remade with all the latest pokemon perfectly

 

Granted, but it won't be released outside of japan. Ever.
I wish for a nice staff.