OOC Coalveins - Civil War - A Steampunk Roleplay [APPS CLOSED]

Ah, sorry.

 

Okay, I will remove the vest, Hunter's instincts is applying to Perception but I will remove on of the other perks, I will work on giving him a decent flaw.

Sorry..been on and off...a lot..

 

You'd do well of notifying me privately or publicly if you intend on being gone for long periods of time. Thank you for your willingness to comply.

I'm genuine here, seeing all of you so open to constructive criticism is refreshing.

 

It's not gonna be departures of an extreme duration, but I'll keep it in mind. And what good is making mistakes without learning from them?

 

I really feel as if the alchemy the nomads have is similar to FMA's alchemy

 

For the sake of keeping secret stuff secret, I can neither confirm nor deny this.

 

My job here is done

 

Sorry Kane kinda forgot to let you know I finished working on my Sheet, for a flaw, he will be partially crippled, which helps explain why he tends to use firearms and stay back in battled.


ALSO, since I didn't post explaining most my changes...apparently..the perk Hunters instincts applies to perception, not to his marksmen skills.

 

I will make my app as soon as it doesn't take a full minute to post things.
(Should be in 2 days.)

 

@HunterC1998 @Jareix Cryvix Your apps are good now.

Waiting for @The Squid

@Tekari You expressed interest in this?

@Dragonclaw Good to hear about the app, looking forward to seeing what you come up with.

 

The more the merrier....and bloodier

 

I'll have mine by tomorrow afternoon. Sorry about the wait

 

I'm only gonna have time to write it up on the weekend.

 

Alright, here's my revised app. Let me know if I forgot to fix anything (I probably did)

Name: Alexander Leroy


Age: 24


Side in the War: Burque


Picture or Detailed Physical Description (Picture will come eventually): Alexander (or Alex) is exactly six and a half feet tall and is fairly muscular. He's slightly tan, despite spending most of his time indoors building machines, reading, or working out. He has short brown hair and dark brown eyes. Can often be seen wearing some sort of mechanical enhancement or invention, and sometimes he wears a dark green eyepatch.



Personality: Very social and easy to get along with. Has a good sense of humor, and is pretty smart. Alex does have trust issues, however, and though he is liked by many people, he is actually full of self-doubt. He also has developed a sort of ruthless indifference towards those he doesn't like or who have chosen to make him their enemy, and he regards the world through a lens of cynicism and doubt, though he tries not to let this show around people he isn't familiar with.


Traits:
Intelligence: having received a fairly good education and being the son of a craftsman, Alex is vert smart and can build complicated machines using spare parts. Years in the Wastes also cultivated Alex's street smarts, which have been useful over the years.

Social: Alex is an extreme social person and usually doesn't have many enemies. But the people he doesn't like are often subjected to cunning attacks, both physical and mental.

Anger: Alex usually bottles up his emotions around people, aiming them towards something else, making him very effective in combat. Alex works out and trains himself as a way to let out pent up aggression. This anger, when controlled, can be used to his advantage; otherwise, it could be considered a flaw.

Good fighter: spending much time in the Wastes, Alex learned how to defend himself against bandits, serial killers, and a myriad of other threats.

Flaws: has occasionally dealt with depression. Though he can efficiently defend himself in a combat situation, when he was young an accident in his father's workshop caused him to have spontaneous moments of blindness or colorblindness in his left eye. Though he has created several inventions to help balance out his eyesight, these occurrences are unpredictable, and when these events happen his hand-eye coordination and depth perception are seriously impaired. As a result of this, Alex is terrible with ranged weapons, especially guns.

Items:
- his eye patch, as well as clothing in general.
- his machete. Alex can't use guns but he can do serious damage using clubs, bats, and other blunt weapons, as well as blades.
- his watch, which he managed to save after his childhood home burned down. The watch is essentially a Swiss army knife worn on the wrist, as it contains a screwdriver, a small knife, and a few other useful tools.

Alignment: chaotic neutral

Backstory: raised in Halmsbrun until he was 15 by his father (his mother died short after he was born), who repaired and created machines, Alex received a decent education and learned how to get along with others. But being the youngest of three siblings, he often kept his emotions bottled up, a habit he keeps to this day. When he was eight, an accident in his father's shop (a canister of liquid battery acid exploded) rendered him with serious problems in his left eye. When he was 15, foreign spies from Beltris who believed his father's work went against their god burned down his house. He was the only one that survived.
After being cast into the streets, Alex took what little possessions he owned and boarded a ship that would take him to the Wastes. Upon arrival, he soon found himself in a small settlement, where he built a small shop and utilized the skills his father had taught him. He spent five years here, building machines and saving up his money. Finally, he boarded an steam boat to Burk, where he gained sympathy for the Rebels and joined the rebellion.

Goals: wealth, success, and for people to respect him

Knock knock?
Who's there?
YOUR MOM

 

Minor spelling error. *very

This sentence is unfinished?

*Beltris


Many of your sentences start with a lower case that should be uppercase, and the punctuation is a bit shoddy.

Otherwise, the story and flaws are fixed.

 

@Dragonclaw is that app still on the way? We're nearly* ready to proceed.

 

Almost done. Working on the personality and backstory.

 

That's good to hear.

 

And of course it had to be deleted, so here I go again.
--- Post updated ---

Name:
Christopher (Chris) Baker

Age: 26


Side in the War: Burque


Picture: http://steamtradingcards.wikia.com/wiki/Terraria_-_The_Guide?file=Terraria_Card_2.png
(The picture thing broke)
He looks like this except with brown hair, a backpack with a lantern on the side, a musket, and a normal face.


Personality: A friendly, energetic man. Loves fruit and hates seeing his loved ones suffer. Very easy to talk to, and also very social. Loves to build things or modify them.

Traits:
Sharpshooter: can hit a target with ease.
Modifier: can modify or improve certain items.
Stealthy: self explanatory.

Flaws:
Will do anything to save a loved one.
Not very good at blending in.
AMI: Anger Management Issues

Items:
Modified musket: accurate to about 70-80 yds.
Backpack: filled with food, blankets, ammo, a knife, gun equipment, money, and some fuel for the lantern.

Alignment:
Chaotic Neutral

Backstory:
Chris was born in his parent's log cabin in the forests of Burque. Ever since h was young, he loved to tinker with things. At the age of 14, he modified his father's hunting musket. He almost doubled the effective range of the musket. He then began to travel around, looking for jobs that required his unique skill. Once he got news of the war, he began to prepare his family while he kept looking for work.

Goal: to have peace and not have to worry about being killed.


Other:
Great dancer
Likes fruit

I'm going to post this now and add the backstory tomorrow.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
IT'S ME!
*explosion*

 

This isn't my roleplay to run, but I'd recommend adding an additional flaw or two just to be safe... As they are, your traits don't exactly seem balanced...