Carrots Make Florans Uncomfortable

Yes, people do eat non-human genitalia, but you can hardly say it's part of a staple diet in your average human's breakfast, lunch, and dinner. There ARE people that consider various bits to be delicacies or to have medicinal properties, but they don't represent the majority. Take a random person from a random country and put a steaming plate of animal dong in front of them and odds are they'll get grossed out. But as a race, we've been around penises for longer then we've known to write, make tools, or kill and we've grown "accustomed" to phallicness, some more so than others.
-Side note: Even if we eat animal genitals, they pretty much all share the same shape that we're used to, elongated and cylindrical, plus or minus little spikes. We've yet to see one that's completely different than anything we're used to.

How many lonely human ship captains do you think are wandering the stars with porno mags (holograms?) in their bags or ship compartments? How many of those do you think have stumbled across the wrong Florans, have been killed, and had their stuff looted? There's also situations when Florans capture human prey and as they're dressing them, and I mean like a deer in the field and not like a kid's mom dresses them for Sunday school, they pull the armor and clothes off to suddenly see this floppy, fleshy carrot dangle around or see a ssstab wound between a woman's legs. You'd imagine they'd be like, wtf is that? (I'd imagine they wouldn't really be baffled by women since they're used to seeing stab wounds.) Or situations where a Floran scout sneaks up on a human camp and catches a couple in the act and reports back to his village "He kept ssstabbing her over and over with his c-c-carrot thingy!" Word would spread by mouth, and you know how things tend to get distorted and out of proportion the more people tell their friends who tell their friends and on and on and on. By the time word hits outer colonies, Florans could be telling each other that human penises spit fire, glow orange with rage, or some other wrong ability just to impress the plant they're telling the story to.

As anyone can tell, humans have gotten more and more open with their sexuality as the ages have gone by. It used to be "Ankles! How scandalous!" and now it's tank tops, miniskirts, bare chests, and banana hammocks. Who's to say that by the time humans had developed intergalactic space travel, people normally wear even less or are more easygoing about taking it off?

 

Aren't most humans actually imprisoned by the Apex? I don't think there's that many free.

Anyways, if another race even knows there are Florids on planet, I don't think they are going to just do it in the open, or not have guards. It's going to happen behind closed doors. Suggesting that their unease is sexual in nature is just outrageous in my mind.

As far as paraphernalia is concerned I don't think it'll be in magazine format in the future, try video logs and stuff on your computer. The way people hide that stuff already on their PCs, and considering that Florids aren't really that advanced, only having enough understanding of tech to get by, they probably won't find it.

In the end, you have 2 races which have noticeably phallic reproductive organs, 1 which likely has one hidden in it's body until use, 1 which instead spreads it's seed aquatically, 1 which has no organs, and construct their young out of parts, then you have the Florid. You give a primitive race a lot of credit for keeping things straight man.

 

Thanks for specifying "non-human" genitals. You tastefully skirted the realms of profanity and back into that of enlightenment by stating that nobody's ever eaten a dick.

No. They're all off on the internet discussing the depth of dick jokes.

Agreed. Bitcoins were a stunning success in our universe, so Dickcoins are the only logical endgame for sexual fulfillment. Please add them in the next update, "Sexually Frustrated Koala"

 

Apex eat every other species out of necessity. There was a major 'nana famine on their home world reminiscent of the 'Great Famine' in Ireland from 1845-1852. They sent out distress calls to the nearby closest planets, the closest being Earth. Earth sent ships which the Apex assumed were carrying relief supplies, however, it turned out that humanity was doing what it always did best. Conquering. They took what reserves of 'nanas the Apex had and put a massive fleet around Apus Prime to blockade any other species from bringing relief aid which in turn caused massive starvation, disease and cannibalistic deaths amongst the Apex species. Over 30% of the planet died during this period.

The Humans, experiencing massive amounts of piracy in their sectors had to automate the process of confining the Apex to Apus Prime until they died off so that they could plunder their resources. Relying on their advances in robotic science they sent drones to watch over the now prison planet of Apus Prime. These drones carried out immediate execution for even the slightest of crime an Apex was caught committing, even crimes of necessity, like theft, to prevent the starvation death of their family. A brilliant Apex named Bigook Swinga knew that something had to be done. He developed a virus which would sweep across Apus Prime turning the drones against their Human controllers and would use it to break the blockade and get the necessary supplies to prevent his species from extinction. The virus took hold and all of the drones which were sent to imprison the Apex were now slaughtering the Humans, these drones would turn out to be none other than the Glitch.

 

Report bulivyf, that book was NEVER "A huge favourite with children", no matter what The Observer proclaims.

 

This is the "General Discussion" section. The "Fan Fiction" section is in the "Fan Works" sub-forum.

 

Are they? I never came across anything that said that was the case. But I don't honestly know too much about other races' lore because I mainly play Floran. Any bits of info I get about other races comes from investigating everything with Spruce.

But what if they didn't know there were Florans. A couple is out adventuring and night falls before they make any real progress and they haven't seen anyone yet, so they set up camp. One thing leads to another, and they're doing the no pants dance. A Floran out hunting in the moonlight hears the noise and comes to investigate the tent. He sneaks up, smashes through the flimsy walls they set up to keep the mobs out, quickly tears open the tent, and bam. Revelations.

As for the porno mags, it could happen. People still have bookshelves and such with actual books on them. It's quite possible that there are still dirty books and magazines in production/existence. But I do agree that Floran just haven't mastered computers yet. It's mostly button stabbing, screen punching, and accidental app purchases when a Floran meets one.

I'm only supporting this theory because nearly all of the other theories as to why carrots make Florans uncomfortable have been hard-debunked by in-game text and dialogue. If you can give me a different, solid theory, I'll put my mind to testing to see if it could be true.

(By the way, why do you call them Florids?)

 

clearly you have not been to tumblr recently

 

This isn't fan fiction, I've been hired as the Senior Lore Forum Writer.

 

Then this would surely kill them,

 

Thats true Im a half kitsune half wolf transethnically german otherkin. I'm also a big supporter of the BLT community as I am a 1/4 male 3/4 female xe-male (refer to me as xe or xhe, i accept both ty)




also carrots =/= dongs