Can you do me a favour?

I would, but I'm a cynical introvert who doesn't speak to others.

Do me a favor and tell me if The Cat Returns was an actual sequel to The Whisper of the Heart.

 

I would, but I have no idea what those names mean.

Do me a favour and tell me what they mean.

 

I would, but Google know it better.

Do me a favour and bring me some wood stakes with silver bullets.

 

I would, but I don't want to get shot.

Do me a favor and tell Dandy to stop being so lazy.

 

I would, but I haven't heard of him

do me a favour and awaken this thread.

 

I would, but I'm busy.

Do me a favor and grant me infinite wisdom.

 

I would, but I can't allow you to have greater wisdom than me.

Do me a favour and tell me a joke.

 

I would, but I am inherently unfunny caricature of a human being.

Do me a favour and supply me with more ice cream.

 

I would, but you didn't tell me, what flavour do you want.

Do me a favour and give me your food.

 

I would, but I'm hungry.

Do me a favour and give me some freestyle raps.

 

I would, I want to do your favour, but still you didn't tell me you wanted flavour!

Do me a favour and give me your soul.

 

I would, but I have traded it in already and I won't get a refund.

Do me a favour and change reality to a more pleasant version.

 

I would, but reality can be changed only to worse and horrible version. Someone call it 'upgrade'.

Do me a favour and have a drink with me.

 

I would, but it's 12:40 where I live.

Do me a favour and make me less insane.

 

I would, but I need psychologist myself.

Do me a favour and wish me luck.

 

I would, but I don't believe in luck.

Do me a favour and give me a better deodorant, this store-brand stuff smells like petrol.

 

I would, but that's not how the wish works!
Do me a favour and make me a jedi.

 

I would, but I'm FORCEd to reject your wish.

Do me a favour and confess from your sins.

 

I would, but both God and Satan only have so much time.
Do me a favor and make my legs hurt less.