Can you do me a favour?

I would, but I enjoy them.

Would you kindly give me tree-fiddy?

 

I would but I'm broke

Do me a favour and tell me when my dental appointment is due.

 

I would, but I'm not that good with appointments myself.

Do me a favour and fix my memory.

 

I would, but I don't know that much about computers....get it?

Do me a favour and give me a car.

 

I would, but I don't have one myself, and the last time I gave control over any motorized vehicle to anyone, it burst into flames shortly after (this one's actually true - engine malfunction on a Dingo which ignited the tracer rounds in the ammo tray)

Do me a favour and make me less accident-prone.

 

((You were supposed to say tooth hurty >:c))

I would but that would involve me breaking your limbs

Do me a favour and stop

 

I would, but the Surenu-train has no brakes.

Do me a favour and be a cute girl.

 

I would but I'm a cute boy

Do me a favour and help me feel

 

I would, but that would get me arrested.

Do me a favour and relay that letter I've been writing for Pangaea.

 

I would but I burnt it

Do me a favour and help me raise the dead

 

I would, but I have plenty of problems getting up in the morning and I'm alive.

Do me a favour and Hellfire-Drone whoever rang the doorbell this morning while I was still in bed.

 

Sorry, But i'm not gonna hellfire drone myself.

Do me a favor and UNsummon Cthulhu

 

I would, but my SAN stat is low enough as it is. Better just go to Canada where things are better. Or maybe Finland.

Do me a favour and give me a hug.

 

* ushers a bear over to hug you*

Do me a favor and summon Nyarlathotep

 

I would, but I'm terribly low on unloved fetuses, olives grown with the blood of a dishonest man and thyme right now.

Do me a favour and give me some hairstyling tips.

 

I would but I don't have hair

Do me a favour and groom me

 

I would, but I don't want cat hair all over my things.

Do me a favour and declare the next crusade.

 

I would but I'm 'friad it'll just fail like all the others

Do me a favour and tutor me

 

I would, but thanks to the failure of the latest crusade, all libraries have fallen to the Saracens.

Do me a favour and give me exactly one piece of chocolate cake.

 

ThE CakE wAs a LiE.

Do me a favor and un-evil-ify GladOS